Negan sits on his sofa, going through an inventory of what they have at the Sanctuary. He tosses the book down on his coffee table, leaning back with his eyes closed as he fumbles in his pants pocket. He pulls out a pair of black panties, pushing them against his nose as he breathes in deeply. He'd taken them from Katie's room whilst she'd been in the main hall, one of many times he'd been in there rifling through her stuff. Negan currently had a small box in his bottom drawer filled with many of Katie's belongings, ranging from a pair of her socks, to a piece of gum that had long since hardened.

A knock at the door startles him, Negan jumping up off the sofa like a dog caught eating it's master's food. He shoves Katie's panties into his back pocket, trying to catch his breath. "Yeah," he says.

"Hey," Simon nods as he steps through the door.

"You're back from the run, how did it go?" Negan smiles.

"Good, we found a lot of supplies. Should set us up for a couple months. Also, we found this place while we were out, thought it might make a good outpost, you know, if we wanted to expand."

"Really? What place is that?"

"It's a satellite building, looks pretty secure," Simon says as he holds out a map. "It's here."

Negan looks at the map, chewing on his lip. "That's a damn good idea, makes sense to branch out. You got men there?"

"I left a group of three, said i'd speak to you first, see what you wanted to do."

"Alright, well it's not too fucking far, i'll head out there myself," Negan says. "You seen Katie?"

"She went out with Gareth on a water run."

Negan clenches his jaw. "When?"

"Couple hours ago, they shouldn't be too long."

"Alright, well i'll go check this place out," Negan says.

"You want me to come with you?" Simon asks.

Negan shakes his head. "No, won't take me long, should be back before dark."


Negan drives down the road, the map laid out on the passenger seat.

He tries to focus on the task at hand, but all he can think about is Katie. I'm gonna have to take Gareth out on a little run, little fucker keeps getting in the way, he thinks. It disturbs him how easy it would be for him to come back without Gareth, how easy it would be to just say he didn't make it.

Negan looks at the road with a frown. "What the fuck?" He brings the car to a stop, staring at a bunch of purple balloons weighted down in the middle of the road. Negan looks from left to right before grabbing Lucille from the back seat and stepping out of the car. He looks all around as he steps closer to the balloons, his hand hovering over the gun on his hip.

He kneels down, reading a note attached to the weighted base of the balloons. 'Happy Birthday'.

What the fuck? Negan frowns. Is it his birthday? He's not quite sure, having lost track of dates, but it could be.

"What the fuck is this?" He shouts, looking around him. He turns to his left, a whistling coming out of the woods. Negan takes the gun from his hip. "Come out here, right fucking now!"

The whistling ceases. Negan hears a grunt, and then a thud, the sound of someone taking out the dead. Placing the gun back in it's holster, Negan steps into the woods, holding Lucille tightly. After a few feet, he sees the dead thing lying on the ground. His head shoots up as he hears another whistle. "Don't fuck with me! I swear to Christ, whoever the fuck you are, i'm gonna smash your fucking dome in, you hear me?"

Negan follows the whistling knowing full well it could be a trap, but feeling confident enough not to give a shit. The whistling ceases once again as he walks out into a clearing, a dirty red barn standing tall in the distance. He squints his eyes as he watches the barn door swing shut, a smirk on his face. "I got you now you little fucker," Negan chuckles.

He walks straight into the barn, ready to swing Lucille if need be. "Come the fuck out and show yourself you pussy!"

A figure steps out of the shadows, Negan tightening his grip. But suddenly his fingers fail him, Lucille dropping against the floor as his stomach rolls. The ground feels as if it's been taken from beneath him, his heart not just pounding, but knocking against his chest as if wanting out. "You.. you..," he shakes his head. "You're not real, you're-"

"Dead?" John says, raising an eyebrow.

"N..no, there's no fucking way you made it outta there," Negan shakes his head.

"And yet here i fucking am," John spreads his arms either side of himself dramatically before dropping them back down. "I tried to fucking help you, and what do you do? You try and fucking kill me, your own fucking brother," he says through gritted teeth. Negan stares at him, his throat dry and his eyes wide. John takes a step towards him. "Who the fuck do you think you are? I show up at the school, and you're carrying a fucking baseball bat, named after my fucking wife!"

"She was mine!" Negan yells, suddenly finding his voice.

"Yeah, and look what you fucking did to her," John tilts his head. "She was a damn mess! You controlled her, she couldn't fucking say hi to another guy without your fucking say so. If i hadn't helped her you would've fucking killed her with your obsessive shit!"

"You didn't fucking help her, you stole her, she was mine! I knew i should've kept you away from her, you always wanted Lucille, even back in high school," Negan spits.

"Maybe i did, but i wouldn't have fallen for her if you'd treated her fucking right."

"What, and you did?" Negan laughs. "Last i heard you were sleeping around, right up until she got cancer."

"Fuck you! I may have been a fucking asshole, but i never fucking hurt her like you did. Never had her looking over her damn shoulder."

Negan kneels down, picking up Lucille. "I would never have hurt her."

"You fucking did hurt her!"

Negan shakes his head. "That was an accident, i didn't mean to."

"Yeah, an accident that cost her sixteen stitches," John frowns. "I'm not gonna let you do the same to Katie."

"You don't love her like i do," Negan says, his breath heavy.

"No, but then i don't think anyone loves someone the way you do. The way you love people, it's fucking ugly. I care about her, i care about your people, and that's better than what you have to fucking offer."

"I won't let you take her from me," Negan says as he lifts Lucille.

"I'm gonna give you one last chance, as your brother. Walk out that fucking door, and keep fucking walking. Away from me, away from Katie, away from your people," John says.

"Fuck you," Negan frowns. He swings Lucille. She connects with a beam, John ducking at the last second. As Negan struggles to pull her from the wood, John tackles him to the ground. Negan's eyes water as John's fist connects with his nose, Negan's hands coming up as he wraps them around John's throat. John throws punch after punch, but Negan brings his knee up into his stomach, knocking the wind out of him.

Negan rolls him over, sitting astride John as he returns the favour, throwing punches at his face. John brings up his Knee, pushing his boot against Negan's ribs and kicking him away. Negan falls backwards, but he draws his gun as John runs for him. John stops in his tracks.

"Don't fucking move!" Negan spits as he gets up off the floor.

John stands in front of him, his arms by his side. "So this is it then? You're gonna fucking kill me, again?"

"You should've fucking died the first time," Negan frowns. "But that's you all fucking over, isn't it? Good luck always fucking rained on you, and i was just left with a bucket of piss."

"The fuck are you talking about?"

"You were always better at everything. Even when i worked hard at it, you'd just show up like it was nothing and come out looking like the sun shines out your fucking ass. This is my time to fucking shine!" Negan yells, shaking the gun at him.

"That's bullshit. I was better at shit because i didn't fucking destroy everything i touched."

"What about Mom? You turned her against me. You were always her fucking favourite, her little fucking golden boy," Negan spits.

John shakes his head. "You're wrong, she loved us both. Mom spent nights crying over you."

"No, she was ashamed of me, because i wasn't like you."

"She was worried about you. Don't you fucking tell me what she felt, i was there!" John yells.

"Yeah, and you've never forgiven me for that, have you? For not being there when she was sick."

"I did forgive you. It was you that couldn't let it go. Look at you, Negan. What the fuck are you doing?"

"I'm putting an end to this, once and for all. I'm gonna take care of Katie, much better than you ever could."

"By doing what? Suffocating her? Has she seen your little obsessions yet?" John sneers.

"I won't let you ruin this for me, not again. She could love me, i know she could. Just like Lucille would've if you hadn't fucked things up," Negan says, his finger resting against the trigger.

"Lucille despised you, just like Katie will if you go back there," John says.

Negan's arm begins to shake as his finger brushes the trigger. "No, she won't. But i guess you'll never get to know one way or the other. Goodnight, brother."

The gunshot echoes through the barn, a deer in the distance doing a 180 at the sound of it.


Simon sits on the Sanctuary steps, taking his gun apart and cleaning it.

"Negan not back yet?" Gareth asks, looking down at Simon.

Simon shakes his head. "No, but then i'm not expecting him back for a while. It's not far, but he'll probably wanna check the place out, won't be back till after dark, that's my guess."

"You think he'll be alright with the new guy?"

"Don't see why he wouldn't be. We need this guy from the sounds of it, said he knows how to get the water running, and that my friend, is exactly the kinda person we need," Simon smiles.

"Tell me about it, i'd kill for a shower right now. Lugging that water all the way here is hard work," Gareth says.

"Well if he gets the water up and running that's one less thing we'll have to worry about " Simon nods.

They both look up at the sound of an engine approaching.

"Isn't that Negan's car?" Gareth frowns.

Simon rises to his feet. "It is, the hell is he doing back so soon?" Simon watches as the car rolls through the gates. He heads over, watching him step out. "Why are you.., holy shit, what happened to your face?"

"Came across some fucking asshole on the road."

"Jesus! You need me to send some men out?" Simon frowns.

He shakes his head. "No, it was just one asshole, i took care of him."

"So i guess you're gonna leave checking the outpost for another day?" Simon asks.

"Yeah, i wanna get myself fucking cleaned up."

"Alright, you want me to have Lucille cleaned for you?"

"Yeah, she's in the back."


He walks through the corridors, his head pounding slightly with every footstep.

"Negan."

He turns. "Julia, what can i do for you?"

"I.. are you alright?" She frowns.

"I'm fucking fine, or i will be once i've got cleaned up. Did you want something?"

She shakes her head. "It's alright, i can come back later."

"Fuck no, i can talk and fucking walk, come on."

Julia stops outside Negan's headquarters. "So what do you think?"

"I think it sounds like a damn good idea. The kids here need to learn shit, and if Joanne used to be a teacher, then it's fucking perfect. We'll talk more about it tomorrow."

"Okay, thanks Negan."

He heads through the double doors, straight on through to his bedroom. He stands at the door, watching Katie take a book from the shelf.

Katie turns at the sound of his footsteps. "Hey, i hope you don't mind, but.. what happened to your face?" She asks, taking a step towards him.

"Met an unfriendly whilst i was out, i'm fucking fine though," he smiles, making his way over to her. He wraps an arm around her waist, dipping his head to kiss her.

Katie places her hands against his chest. "Woah, what are you doing? I thought we talked about this?"

He stares at her. "I'm sorry, i just-"

"It's too soon, Negan, i told you that. And i want you to stop leaving things in my room. I know you mean well, but it makes me uncomfortable. It's my own personal space," she tilts her head. "I hope i'm not coming across as rude? I wouldn't want you to think i don't appreciate what you do for us."

He takes a step back. "No, of course not."

"Good. How about i get us something to eat later? That okay?"

"It sounds fucking perfect," he smiles.

"Alright, well i'll seeya later," she smiles as she walks away.

"Seeya," he nods.

He makes his way to the bathroom, filling the sink with bottled water as he cleans up his face.

"Negan."

"Yeah?"

Frankie opens the bathroom door. "Karen's sick, nothing serious, just a bug. Anyway, i thought it best if i look after her, i know it'll cut into our time, but she needs me, is that alright?"

He nods. "Sure, take all the time you want. Does she need anything else?"

Frankie shakes her head. "No, she's got plenty of water. Oh, did Simon tell you about the new guy?"

He shakes his head. "No, what new guy?"

"Chris i think his name is. He says he can get the water running."

"Well that's fucking awesome," he smiles.

"It is. Well i'll get going," Frankie says. She stops in her tracks. "What's that? Did that guy hurt your arm?" She asks.

He looks down at the bandage on his arm. "No, it's for Lucille. My arm's started hurting lately when i use her, adds extra support," he smiles.

Frankie stares at him. "You seem.. different."

He swallows deeply. "Different?"

"Yeah. Good different. I can't quite put my finger on it," she frowns.

"Well i do feel good," he smiles. "Actually, sweetheart, could you do me a favour before you get back to Karen?"

"Sure," Frankie nods.

"Tell Simon i wanna see him."

"Okay, i'll seeya later," she smiles.

"Seeya," he says.

John looks in the mirror, running a hand over his face, the smoothness almost foreign to him. He'd been unsure whether he could actually pull this off. Christ! He hadn't even known where his fucking room was, so he'd been grateful when Julia had pretty much walked him there.

He figures he might tell Katie at some point. He'd had no intention of telling her at all, but the fact that she hadn't kissed him, thinking he was Negan, had warmed his heart a little.

I'm gonna change things here. This place is gonna be so much better, and i'm gonna be a much better Negan than he ever was, he thinks.

John stares in the mirror. "I.. am.. Negan," he smirks.