Waiting

Author: Sam (buggie21)

Pairings: Remus/Sirius, Remus/Tonks

Rating: M for language and sexual references

Genre: Romance/Angst

Summary: Tonks continues to pursue Remus, but what she doesn't know is that his heart belongs to his best friend, even in death. Set at the end of the summer of HBP.

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to the great JK Rowling. I am nothing.

Author's Notes: My first official fanfiction! Please review, and don't be afraid to be truthful! If same-sex pairings aren't your cup of tea, however, I suggest that you don't read my work.


Chapter Two

Tonks looked around the rather spacious room Remus had led her to. She recognized it as Sirius' former room. Her heart felt the familiar twinge it often was assaulted with whenever she thought about her cousin. Well, second cousin, really. That never mattered, however. They had always acted like first cousins, close family. Plus they had picked up right where they had left off before he was taken to Azkaban. It was just in their nature to do so. It felt natural.

The woman walked across the room, trailing her hand over the dresser. Spotless. Remus must have attacked this room, like he had every other occupied room in the house, with an army of cleaning supplies. It surely gave him something to do when they had first lost Sirius.

Distractions of any kind seemed to suit the current residents of the old Black house. Some tried picking up new hobbies, while others simply tried to go out as much as possible. Tonks, however, didn't really fall under either category. She became a floater, almost in a trance of sorts, after Sirius was taken from them. She mostly kept an eye on Remus, just to make sure he was all right. She didn't know what he thought of her attention, but, then again, it was understandable that she had no idea. The man usually kept to himself, frustrating Tonks to no end. But she would not, could not, give up. She did it for his sanity.

She couldn't even imagine what the werewolf was feeling. Having all his friends taken from him had taken both mental and physical tolls on him over the years. It was fairly visible in his body language, his expressions, as well as his tired, relaxed speech. He was just so exhausted. Juggling all this while having to undergo an excruciating transformation every month was too much for Tonks' mind to grasp. She obviously had no idea how the actual change felt, but she understood that it was the worst physical pain the poor man has ever gone through. He had clued her in on that much, but little else. His lycanthropy was a touchy subject, and Tonks knew not to press for further information.

"He'll tell me more when he's ready," Tonks reassured herself. "As soon as he's ready."

***

Remus finished tidying the dining room shortly after leading Tonks up the stairs to his room. No, it was still Sirius' room. The man outwardly sighed as he recalled the smell of the animagus. His scent had lingered on his bed sheets, which Remus had taken to laying curled up on shortly after the man's death. After the initial shock had passes, Remus transitioned into a crazed cleaning mode and had, regretfully, washed everything in that room, including the lush sheets. Though the smell of his love had gone in the physical sense, Remus had every bit of Sirius stored in his memory bank. He smirked as he curled up on the oversized loveseat, stretched, and recalled the first time he realized his feelings for the man.

***

It was the Marauder's seventh year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Remus smiled as he listened to his best mates babble on about their latest idea of a prank. While he had supplied the young men with a few ingenious ideas in the past, it was clear to them all that he was best with the technical stuff. He took pride in how he could put all his endless hours of studying into something other than preparing for exams. The best part was that he usually got the same swell of accomplishment when the group completed a ridiculous surprise as he would when he aced a test.

James had tapped Remus on the shoulder one day after Potions.

"Hey, Moony, would you mind doing me the biggest favor anyone could ever do for one of his best mates?"

Remus rolled his eyes and instinctively asked, "Does this happen to have anything to do with Lily? If so, I believe you've tormented the poor girl enough."

Sirius, who had caught up to the two of them, leaving Peter in the dust, snorted with laughter.

"James, I'm sorry to say that Remus may be right. That's one girl you'll never shag, that's for sure."

Potter huffed at this, complaining, "You guys are useless. You'd think a guy's own best mates would do anything for him, especially when it comes to shagging women." Just as James had finished his mini rant, the object of his desires came around the corner with a pack of Gryffindors practically falling at her feet.

"Lily! Oi, Lily! My love!" With that, James ran directly toward the group, only stopping when he was directly in front of the red-haired beauty. Kneeling down dramatically before her, he spoke, "I've written you another sonnet! Allow me to recite it for you!"

Remus chuckled to himself, shaking his head repeatedly.

"Moony," said a soft voice in his ear. Remus shivered delightedly at the sound. "Why don't we head back to the Common Room?"

The light-haired boy turned to face the brunette. "Should we really leave him here to be hexed by Evans?"

Sirius smirked his famous Marauder smirk. "It's his own fault he won't leave her be. Let's go."

Remus looked over his shoulder once more and saw James gesturing poetically with every sappy work he spoke. When the werewolf shifted his gaze up to Lily's face, he nodded to Sirius quickly, afraid for his own life. When Lily was angry, nobody even wanted to witness the poor soul receiving her wrath.

***

As soon as the two set foot on the stairwell, Sirius turned to Remus, a questionable glimmer visible in his misty grey eyes.

"Jeez, Pads, what is it now?" Remus laughed, knowing whatever the animagus had on his mind was undoubtedly mischievous.

When Sirius leapt in front of him unexpectedly, the smaller boy let out a yelp. "My dear Moony," he began overdramatically, much like James had to Lily. "May I ask you something?"

The werewolf's heartbeat quickened, his friend's strange formality catching him off guard. He had recently been having odd reactions when around Sirius and found no way to justify why. He gulped and nodded dumbly, unable to manage any other reply.

As the enchanted staircase began to rotate past the floor that led to Gryffindor Tower, Sirius inquired, "Do you find anyone attractive? You know, like how James finds Lily attractive? How she's all he ever thinks about? How he chases after her and only her? Have you ever experienced that feeling yourself?"

Remus froze, slightly shocked with the personal content of the question. He mentally shook his thoughts into place, reminding himself that the young man standing before him was one of his best mates and probably hadn't meant any harm with the inquiry.

"W-well," he stammered, making the mistake of looking up into Sirius' eyes. Stormy grey stared intently into soft blue. Remus noted the vast range of emotion in his friend's gaze. He was captivated. "I've never gone to the extent James has in acting on my romantic interests, no."

"Moons, that's not what I asked you," Sirius said pointedly, smirking that unbelievably sexy smirk. He asked his next question so quietly that Remus almost didn't catch it.

"Have you ever loved?"

If Remus wasn't sweating beforehand, he sure was at this point in their conversation. As the staircase continued to rotate, Remus continued to stare into the animagus' breathtaking eyes. He certainly felt like he would fall over if he didn't avert his own blue orbs, yet there was no hope; he was utterly enthralled by the enchanting male standing a couple steps ahead of him.

Just as Sirius was beginning to frown and turn his head to the side, Remus replied before he could really think it through. All he could think of was the weak feeling in his knees when the animagus had looked at him with so much feeling. He so desperately wanted to feel it again.

"Yes."

Sirius whipped his head back around so fast that Remus was surprised it hadn't fallen off. When Sirius made eye contact with the man two steps down from him, he must have noticed how bloody scared Remus looked. His hands were in a knot, beads of sweat appeared on his forehead, and he seemed to rock back and forth on his feet. Sirius' mouth molded into a smiled and he nodded. Turning, he continued his climb to the top of the staircase.

As Remus watched him go, he couldn't help but frown. As he finally made his move to the landing before the Fat Lady, a gear in his head seemed to click into place.

"S-Sirius," he uttered, "I-I do love. I d-do…"

He wondered if this was his own voice. He sounded so thrown-off, disconnected, even. 'Bloody hell, Remus,' he mentally scolded himself. 'Pull yourself together! You sound like an idiot.'

When he had finally gathered his thoughts, he noticed Sirius had already disappeared into the Common Room. The Fat Lady repeated in an irritated tone, "Password?"

Remus stammered, gave the phrase, and entered the room.


I wanted to say thank you to those who have reviewed my story thus far. I just started another fanfic called An Unrequited Love. It's another Remus/Sirius fic, though, I must warn, it's a bit angst-y. Anyway, I'd appreciate some more constructive reviews! :)

Sam