"Phyllis?" He shook her gently as he softly whispered her name. As much as he would have enjoyed letting her sleep in his arms as long as possible, he could sense the abrupt shift in the room.
She moved slightly, her eyes opening slowly as she took in her surroundings. "Billy?" There was slight confusion in her voice as she spoke, but it only took a moment before he felt the change in her body. She stiffened and pulled away from him, muttering quiet words of apology. "Sorry. I guess I feel asleep."
He shook his head. "It's fine. You needed to sleep." His eyes moved over to the group of people that now stood by the swinging doors. "I would have let you sleep longer, but I think …" He waited until she turned towards them as well. "The doctor just same out. I can't hear what he's saying, but …"
Phyllis stood, her steps hesitant as she moved slowly towards them. Somehow she felt like an outsider, intruding on an intimate moment, but Hilary was her friend and she needed to know. "Neil," she whispered, hoping to pull him away from the close knit group.
He followed her lead, stepping away briefly. "It's not good," he whispered, his voice low. "Her blood work shows that she's not responding to the medication. They said to go ahead and call in anyone that might want to …" He didn't finish the sentence, knowing she would complete the thought in her own mind.
Her eyes closed for a moment as her mind tried to process the thought. "I can't believe this is happening," she breathed. "Hillary is so …" A thought broke through the emotion, a task that could be completed and controlled … something she could do – a welcome reprieve from this feeling of helplessness. "Has anyone called Jack?" she asked.
Neil thought for a moment. "You know what, no. I don't think they have. I should probably …" He glanced back over at Devon who looked ready to collapse.
"No … I'll do it," she offered. "You go take care of your family."
"Thanks, Phyllis."
She nodded, happy to do something, anything that might make a small difference. Her steps were quicker now, more purposeful as she walked back over to Billy.
"What did they say? How's she doing?"
"Not good. They said to go ahead and call everyone in." She said the words as she shuffled through the contents of her purse, finally dumping it into the chair in frustration. "Damn," she hissed. "I must have left it at the apartment." She looked over at him. "Can I use your phone?"
"There's one right over there in the waiting room," Billy said quickly, pointing to the communal phone on the desk.
"I know, but Jack might not recognize the number and he probably wouldn't answer. Just let me use yours or …" She recognized the look of guilt on his face and snatched it from his hand. The home screen revealed everything she needed to know. Her eyes burned with tears, both for her friend and for the relationship she was watching crumble in front of her. "Really?" Her voice shook as she stared at him. "Really, Billy?"
"I was going to tell them no," he hissed, as he reached for the phone.
She moved away from him, still scrolling through the messages. "So that's why you were asking where and what time? So that you could turn them down after hearing all the details?"
"Phyllis … I …"
"Just shut up," she snapped, quickly pressing the contacts button and waiting for Jack's voice to answer. "Jack," she breathed …
He felt as if he might collapse as he listened to her quickly brief Jack on the situation with Hilary, her soft, compassionate tone with his brother a sharp contrast to what she'd taken with him moments earlier. The call ended quickly as she assured him she'd be there waiting and he was surprised when she thrust the phone back towards him.
"Here," she snapped. "Your phone … you can take it and go."
"I don't want to go," he argued. "I wasn't going to go."
"I don't give a damn where you go," she managed, "I just don't want to look at you right now and this isn't the place for us to have this conversation. So I'm asking you to go. Now, Billy. Just get out of here."
"You need someone here with you. You don't need to be here by yourself."
"Jack's on his way." She could see the hurt on his face as she said the words. "He's someone I can count on and right now that's what I need. I need someone that understands how bad this hurts and I need someone that's totally focused on this moment." Her eyes glared at him. "And that's not you."
"I love you," he whispered. "I want to be here. Please, just let me be here."
"I gave you a chance and even though you might have been here in body, your mind was at a poker table somewhere." She heard Devon's raised voice from across the room and looked up at Billy again. "I can't do this now. I won't do this now."
He watched helplessly as she walked away, stepping up beside Neil who put his arm loosely around her shoulder. Even he was more comfort to her right now.
"Hi."
His embrace instantly made her feel better.
"How is she?" he asked. The look on her face told him he might not want to know the answer.
She shook her head. "Not good, Jack. Devon is in there with her right now. I don't think they are expecting her to last much longer. They said they'll let us in one at a time so we can say whatever we want to say …" The thought of saying goodbye made her feel sick and she felt her hands begin to tremble at bit at the idea of it. "I don't even know how to do that. I mean, what do you say to someone that should have had so much longer to live and should have gotten so much more out of life?"
Jack shook his head. "It's not easy, but you'll know. When you get in there, it'll just come to you. You say what's in your heart and you say the things you need to say. Is she conscious?"
Phyllis nodded. "Last I heard she was."
"That's good. At least you'll know she heard you and the two of you can talk. That'll be something you'll never forget." He hesitated a moment, curious if he should even ask, but finally deciding it was too important to pass up. "I expected I'd find Billy here. I think he'd want to be here for you during this? You want me to call him?" Her face seemed to crumble as he said the words and he instantly knew he'd touched on something far more complicated than he knew.
"No," she managed. "Too much is dying here already."
