Chapter 8: Reaction
"You…love me?" King asked me as he tried to look at my face. I wouldn't let it show because I had too much pride and I was scared.
"I'm…sorry King, I never meant for this to come out…"
"Why didn't you…tell me?"
I suddenly became enraged, almost blaming King for my condition. "Do you think I planned for this to happen?!"
King lowered his head, but when I looked over to him, his eyes were still fixed on me. For some reason, his eyes looked like they were disappointed.
"Please…" I said as I began to cry. "Don't look at me like that!" I started hyperventilating, being unable to control it. Through my tears, I noticed King shift in his place a little as he lowered his head even lower. 'Great. Now I look like an emotional train wreck.'
In the corner of my eye, I saw him get up and come closer. He stood next to me and sat down on the bed. A couple of seconds went by and I wondered what I had just done. I felt like I ruined my relationship with him and that feeling didn't set too well with me.
I felt a hand touch my shoulder. It was warm and full of concern, and right then, I knew it was King. Slowly, I stopped crying and looked to him.
"You…you don't think I'm a freak…?" I said, scared to hear his answer.
"Peter…I told you. Nothing you say can change the way I feel about you." He replied. I let a few more tears fall before I forced a smile. His kind and caring attitude always had a tendency to make me feel like melting, but this was something else.
"And now…I have a confession to make…" King said. I wiped away my tears and gave him a curious look. He looked down, keeping his hand on my shoulder.
"What you just told me…I knew…"
I looked at him as I said, "How did you know?"
"I…heard you calling out my name as you slept…you've been doing it for the past two weeks now…"
I was in total shock from what I was hearing, and the fact that he still had his hand on my shoulder, it made me feel as if he pitied me. I wouldn't have this, no way. The last thing I needed right now was anyone's pity. I needed someone to understand, to accept me. I moved away from his reach. To my surprise, he scooted closer. He didn't say anything, he just looked at my face, studying me from up close. Although I wasn't giving him eye contact, I could feel his eyes nearly burning a whole in the side of my face. He just sat there staring at me.
"You know, this was a mistake. Please just forget I said anything." I composed myself and rose off the bed, beginning my walk to the door. I could tell he was still in shock and this was everything that I was trying to avoid. Why the fuck did I take Tiffanie's advice? I knew deep down inside that this was going to happen, but I chose to buy into all this 'hope' bullshit. All I accomplished just now was fuck everything up between King and me. Just as I was shutting the door to the room, I heard him call out my name. He sounded as if he was to try and talk it all out. But I already knew what he was going to say. He was going to try and be as nice as possible and he was going to tell me that we could never have anything between us. That would only make me feel worse and more embarrassed.
I turned the corner and stood by the elevator, pressing the button so that I could go downstairs. Deep breaths. Just as I felt my blood pressure lowering slightly, I heard King open the room door. He was going to come after me, damn it. Quickly, I practically leaped into the stairwell and started jogging down the floors towards the lobby. I was moving surprisingly fast today. It was probably due to my adrenaline pumping, my veins felt like they were throbbing. Right as I was about to open the door to the lobby, I once again could hear King in pursuit.
Shit! As soon as I ran through the door, I searched frantically for the next place to run. A loud burst of thunder startled me into realizing that there was a huge rainstorm going on outside. Without thinking, I ran outside and shut the entrance door behind me. Afterwards, I realized how truly stupid this was of me. I had left my access key in the room and now I was stuck outside, hiding from King in the freezing cold. The water was actually a lot colder than I expected, soaking my clothing all the way through and making me regret running out here. Before I could think to do anything else, King came through the door inside the lobby. Just as he was turning to his head to look out the window, I ducked off to the side. Unsure if he had seen me or not, I stayed in the same spot, not wanting to risk being seen by getting up.
Seconds passed and I still sat in the rain, getting colder and colder. At first I didn't pay it any mind, but as the rain poured down on me, I realized that I was shivering. God, I'm such a dumb ass. Wrapping my arms around myself, I hoped that someone would come along and let me back in, otherwise I'd be a frozen soaked mess. Almost as if my prayers were answered, someone opened the door. But as my luck would have it, it was King. I sighed in frustration, my breath fading out into the air before me. He looked at me, and I didn't look at him.
"What're you thinking?" he asked. Instead of responding, I slowly stood up, teeth chattering silently. I walked past him as fast as I could to get back inside. This didn't do me much good, because the lobby was heavily air conditioned. I felt like oxygen made of ice was being poured down upon me, taunting me for being so stupid. Now I wasn't in the mood to flee, I'd just have to put up with the awkward silences. King stood a short distance behind me, probably knowing that I wanted my space. Either that or he was severely uncomfortable around me after what I just told him. I pressed the button for the elevator, trying desperately to hide how cold I was. It seemed very embarrassing to be standing here like this, after my little confession, soaking fucking wet, looking like a complete and utter dumb ass. A bad habit I'd picked up lately it seems.
King said nothing to me as we boarded the elevator. I just stood in silence, trying not to shiver. And I was doing a horrible job at it. Once the elevator reached our floor, I walked out, my eyes fixated on the carpet. I was too afraid to look at King now because he seemed a little bit angry at the fact that I ran off from him. He opened the door and quietly told me to get in. He spoke so quietly, yet with a commanding tone that caught me off guard. I walked in and headed over to the air conditioner, shutting it off. I couldn't hide it anymore, I was fucking freezing. Without hesitation, I grabbed some dry clothes and headed into the bathroom to change. While I changed, I wondered what King was thinking right then. I wondered if he was angry or disappointed or confused. He was probably a mix of them all. After I came out, I immediately hopped into my bed and threw the covers over my body, shivering wildly at this point.
I heard King getting closer to me. He came to give me his blanket, wrapping it around my body tightly. Even after all this, he was still looking out for me? I struggled to speak. "T-th-thanks." I said. I didn't hear him respond, but somehow I knew he was nodding. After a few more seconds, I heard him sit down on his bed. No doubt, he was probably thinking of what to say. But I knew him too well. He wouldn't say anything until the time was right and now wasn't the right time.
In the next twenty minutes, the room was filled with silence. Well other than the sound of my shivering, the room was completely silent. I was getting a little warmer but not warm enough. Before I knew it, I was convulsing slightly, unable to stop it. That's when I heard King get up off his bed. I expected him to throw another blanket over me, perhaps even leave the room. But then, I felt my blanket being lifted up, the weight of the mattress getting heavier on my right side. He was lying down next to me, no, he was wrapping his arms around me. I struggled to get up, but he held me down.
"Don't move. Use my body heat to warm up." He didn't say anything after that. He just held me there, gently rubbing his arms around me every few minutes. My body tensed up and for a while, I couldn't tell if I was shivering from the cold or from the fact that he was holding me. Once I managed to calm down a bit, my body started to become warmer. I knew he wasn't doing this for intimacy, especially not after I told him my secret. But then I started to wonder again. Why would he be doing this if he really thought I was a freak? For now, I'd stop thinking too hard about it. Even if I had to pretend he was feeling what I secretly wanted him to be feeling, then I'd just let this illusion continue. The warmth from his muscular body entered into me like a mist of some sort. Slowly, I stopped shivering. All I felt was his warmth, his kindness, his love. His heartbeat throbbed gently against my back. It felt so good to be here like this, becoming one and the same for a period of time.
It was if his touch was taming all my insecurities, erasing my fears; warming both my body as well as my soul. I knew right there and then, that I didn't want this moment to end. My body small and fragile compared to his large frame, I sensed no harm in his intentions. Don't move...
A minute later, he surprised me with something else. He began to hum. It was quiet, yet melodic. Now completely lulled into serenity, I started to drift off into sleep. My very last thought before I fell asleep, was please be here when I wake up.
