Chapter 9: Boundaries
I woke to the sound of light footsteps. On impulse, I lifted my head up to see what it was. It was a quick sight, but my eyes caught a glimpse of light pouring through the doorway and onto the carpet floor. Slowly, the light got thinner and thinner, until it resembled a beam. Then, just like that, it was gone and the door was shut and locked quietly. Where am I?, I thought. My eyes squinted in the darkness to take in my surroundings. Then everything came rushing back like water from a dam. I remembered everything; me telling King, me running out into the rainstorm, him finding me, me getting close to sick, and then...him keeping me warm. Holding my breath, I leaned over to see if he was still there. He wasn't. I took a minute to wake up and think about what happened. He must've just left. But why...? It was then that I recalled he had another fight coming up in the tournament. He probably had left to go train for it. The electronic clock by the bed side said that it was five thirty in the morning. This was usually around the time that King woke up.
Wait did I really pass out for that long? Yesterday's rainstorm happened in the afternoon, had I really fallen asleep for that length of time? Well...then again I had been losing sleep for the past few weeks, my body had to make up for it. I noticed something strange about a minute afterwards. Even though King was gone from the bed, it still felt warm. I could still feel him next to me, lending me his warmth. He must've held me all night. My cheeks reddened slightly at the thought of this.
...What am I doing? Putting aside the step-father issue, the age gap between the two of us was a decade. Plus, what would people think if they found out? Ugh, whatever fuck this., I thought. It was way too early to be upset over anything. Besides that, I felt lighter on the inside. I had been carrying around that burden, suffering by myself for a long time. Now I finally had it off my chest. I'd just have to take it from there and deal with the consequences. Rolling over into King's warmth again, I decided to just go back to sleep. I still wasn't feeling one hundred percent better yet and there was nothing I could do this early in the morning anyways.
--
"Peter? Pete? Are you feeling better?" King's voice echoed through my mind. For a second, I thought he was really here, but then I figured I was dreaming. That's when I felt his hand shake me gently out of my sleep. My eyes opened to the harsh sunlight that was now bathing the room, squinting painfully to adjust to the sudden change.
"King? What time is it?", I asked while my face remained buried underneath a pillow.
"It's almost noon already."
I shifted in my spot, surprised I had slept even later than before. Hesitation and fatigue got the better of me for a few more seconds, but I managed to kick off the sheets and sit up against the wall. Once I was up, King paced towards his own bed. Suddenly the room was silent and I could feel the tension in the air. However, instead of running off and avoiding it, this time I wanted to talk things out. As my mind searched for the right words to say, I could see King in the corner of my eye. He was tapping his foot against the floor anxiously, as if he too was in deep thought.
"Hey, can we grab something to eat? My head is spinning and I could use a cup of coffee or something." I said.King stood up and walked towards the door.
"Sure thing. I'll let you get ready." As quickly as his words entered my ears, he was out the door. That served as confirmation that he wasn't feeling comfortable around me. Shaking my head, I got out of bed and headed towards the shower. I could think of how to approach this later.
--
I'd been feeling so hungry before, but not all I could do was stare at the food on my plate. It was as if my eyes were doing the eating for me. King sat across from me, sipping his coffee as he looked around. It bothered me that he looked everywhere in the room but in front of him, where I was sitting.
"King...are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine I'm just anxious about my fight. It's against Marduk. I have to work hard if I want to finally avenge Armor King.", he said.
"Oh...okay. What about...you know." There was more silence as we sat at the table. King sat up in his seat a bit, tensing up. He looked around, making sure no one was within earshot of the conversation.
"I...I'm sorry, I just can't talk about this right now. I need to concentrate on the fight.", he said to me. My eyes widened and my breath stopped. His words had hit me like a falling brick in the face. Shocked at his reply, I tried my best to act as if his statement didn't phase me. But even though I pretended to brush it aside, King gave me an apologetic look of regret.
"I understand. When is the fight?" After I asked him my question, he held his head in his hands and sighed.
"Tomorrow."
"Oh wow. Is there anything I can do to help you?", I asked in concern.
"Umm, no I'll be fine, but thank you." Wow he really wasn't himself anymore. King was usually always so full of energy; he was always joking around and being positive. But now, he seemed so stressed. I wondered if it was just the fight, or if I was partially at fault. Nodding, I realized that I no longer had much of an appetite so I pushed my plate away. King stood up and began to speak.
"Hey I'm going to go work out."
"...Again?"
"Yeah. I want to be ready."
"King, you are ready.", I reassured him.
"Thanks.", he replied. From the tone of his voice, I could tell that he was still going to go work out. So I respected his privacy and watched as he began to walk away.
"I'll see you later.", he said with his back facing me. Within seconds, he was gone again, heading off towards the gym. I'm so confused. As he vanished from my sight, I felt guilty. Had I thrown him into this world of anxiety? I wished I could just take it all back, pretend like it never happened. But it didn't work like that. There was no forgetting what I said, no erasing it from the past. My words were always going to be in his mind from now on, and that particular thought made me wish I'd thought things through more carefully before telling him. Seconds past and I looked outside. Oddly enough, the weather was completely perfect today, unlike yesterday. After getting up to throw my food away, I thought about Julia. Something in the back of my mind was telling me to go and see how she was doing.
--
"So how are you feeling, Julia?"
"I'm okay Peter, thank you." She forced a smile and nodded. I could tell that she was still hurt, but she was doing her best to appear content. We stood in one of the many gardens of the Mishima property. The flowers and plants grew in all varieties and colors here, and the air smelled fresh. There was a certain calming atmosphere to this place that seemed to blanket the two of us. We both walked along the grass and took in the sights. Julia loved flowers and wildlife, she practically lived for it. In fact, that was her entire purpose to entering this tournament. She wanted to win enough money to fund more of her research. As I watched her walk along, I couldn't help but smile. She was so pure, so serene, yet with a warrior's spirit that I hadn't seen in too many others.
"I love it here", she said, "I wish that every place in the world looked this peaceful. Can you imagine how many people's attitudes would change? It's surprising how something as simple as this garden can lighten the hearts of so many people." It was then that I realized why she was here.She was roaming this garden because of me. She was looking for that tranquil state of mind again, and among these flowers is where she hoped to find it.
"Julia, I hope we can stay friends. No matter what, I'm always going to want to be a part of your life." I said. Her reaction was what I expected. She looked a little caught off guard, but I understood that I had spoken randomly. She faced me and smiled.
"You know that we're always going to be friends, we've been through too much together. Besides we were just friends when we met, right? Well that means we can return to that. Plus, who else willI have around to make me laugh?" The both of us chuckled at the statement. Suddenly, I felt a little bit better about us. If there was one thing I knew about Julia, it was that she was a terrible liar. So just then, I was able to see that she was telling the truth. She turned towards a bed of roses and began to saying something else.
"You know, all good things require time. Sometimes we may want to rush things, like the blooming of these flowers. But you see, no matter how much we rush things, everything will bloom in its own time. The only thing we can do is stand back and let time do all the work. That's what I love about nature."
Time. All good things require time. You can't rush things. Suddenly, Julia's words unexpectedly took on a double meaning. I thought about the situation between King and myself. I can't rush him into talking with me about it. I have to give him time to figure things out on his own, just like I needed to. While not particularly soothing, Julia's unintentional reveal got me thinking. I knew I should just let King think things through, but at the same time, I just couldn't leave things the way they were. I decided later, to go and check on him. But for now, I planned to enjoy the company of my friend.
--
It was getting a little late and King was still not back. I'd waited for him for awhile, but now I was beginning to get worried. Ironically, now I knew what it felt like to be in his shoes. He's not in the gym. Where else could he be? I paced up and down the hallway on the first floor, wondering where else to look. Just then, I looked over to my left, into one of the empty courtyards outside. To my surprise, King sat near the fountain, staring off into nothingness. I knew he had a lot to think about, and I knew he was nervous about the fight. What should I do?
After a moment's hesitation, I opened the door that led outside and slowly approached him. His back facing me, my entrance went unnoticed. With each and every step I took, my blood began to boil. My feelings for King were getting stronger and stronger. Everything single thing about him, every memory, every conversation was like a jewel that I kept tucked away for safe keeping. To me, he was perfect without having to be perfect. I liked him just the way he was and it was getting to the point where I was starting to not regret telling him anymore. I wanted him to know how I felt and I wanted him to know that there was someone there who understood the burdens he had to endure. His burdens were many and all I wanted to do was help carry them. Afterall, that's what he'd done for me countless times.
"Hey Peter, I was just thinking about you.", he said. My heartbeat froze for a second, not expecting him to realize I was there.
"Hi King. How are you feeling?"
"I'm...fine. But there's something that I wanted to talk to you about." With that, he turned to face me, walking up to where I was standing. By the time he was standing in front of me, I was looking up at him. He seemed to tower over me, covering me in his shadow. There was a time where I was intimidated by him and his height, but now it just helped to show how I felt when I looked up to him. In my mind, I felt as if he was greater than me, and I was always looking up to him. His green eyes locked with my brown ones and I didn't want them to lose each other.
"You're still the same Peter to me and I could never think any less of you...but you need to know that because of certain factors, there are boundaries; lines that we can't cross..."
Is he saying...
My heart was beginning to sink along with the sun that was now setting down over the horizon. Boundaries? Lines?
"Do you understand what I'm saying...?", he asked. It was my eyes that looked away first, and suddenly all light was fading like the sun retiring from the sky. He was turning me down, telling me that he could never love me back. Suddenly I felt nauseas and my head was spinning. I quickly regained my composure for his sake. He was already stressed about his fight coming up, I knew I didn't want to add to it. Painfully, I faked a smile and nodded.
"I understand. Don't worry about it, it'll all work out. Besides, you've got your fight to think about. You should probably rest up then." It hurt to smile, it hurt to breathe. But I would have to be strong for him. Maybe that would be the only way I could help him for now. His gaze stayed on my face, a look of anticipation crossing his. It looked as if he expected me to storm off again, break down, hate him...but I could never do that to him now. If love was all about looking out for the other's best interests, then I'd have to do what I could. He couldn't deal with me getting emotional over things right now and I was finally beginning to understand that. I gave him a brief hug and then turned away, walking back towards the door.
"You coming?", I asked. He stood still for a second, studying me. But then he shook himself out of it and smiled.
"Yeah, let's go."
On the way back up to our room, we talked about casual things. It was as if things had gotten back to normal. But deep down, I could feel the slight tension in the air. I wasn't going to add to it by acknowledging it though. A few minutes later, we got back into the room. I suggested that we both just go to sleep, so that tomorrow, we'd both be well rested for his fight with Marduk.
"Good night, Peter."
"Good night, King."
I shut off the lamp next to my bed and glanced over at King's shadowy form. He laid on his bed with his back again facing me and a few seconds later, I saw that he was shaking slightly. My mind told me to ask him what was wrong, see if he was cold. But I knew he was nervous about everything. For now he'd have to just concentrate on the upcoming fight. Not being able to see him like this anymore, I turned away from his form and pushed away my thoughts. My thoughts were wishing that I'd get up and lie down next to him, offer him my warmth the way he offered his to me when I needed it. But after what he told me about boundaries and lines back when we were in the courtyard, I knew that this would never be acceptable with him. For now, I'd have to support him and respect his decisions, no matter how bad they hurt me on the inside.
