Billy walked up to the counter and let his eyes peruse the menu. He had to do something. He couldn't just walk away, even if that's what she'd asked him to do. Part of being self-destructive was understanding that you didn't always know what you needed … sometimes you didn't even know what you wanted. He understood that about her and he didn't fault her for it. They got each other. They always had.
"Hey Billy." Her presence obviously surprised him and she smiled. "Were you not expecting help at the counter?" She expected to hear a good natured laugh in response. Billy had always had a good sense of humor, but today he seemed disturbingly serious.
"Sorry," he said softly. "I just wasn't …" He shook his head. "I guess I'm not really with it right now."
"That's pretty obvious." She softened her tone as she studied his clearly disturbed features. "Can I get you something? Coffee? Bagel? Someone to listen?"
He sighed. "I was trying to figure out what I could take back to the hospital. Phyllis and …"
"Right." Sharon nodded. "How's Hilary doing?"
He shrugged slightly. "I don't really know all the details," he admitted, "but judging by how everyone is acting up there, I don't think it's good at all."
"I didn't realize it was that bad. I mean I knew they said critical condition, but that's something people come back from all the time." Sharon stood still, letting the words wash over here. "Tell you what, why don't I just get a big assortment ready and you can take it back with you."
"That would be great, Sharon. Thanks."
"No problem. It's the least I can do." She slid a cup of coffee across the counter. "Here. Take this while you wait."
Cupping the coffee in his hand, he slid into the booth, his eyes closing a bit as he tried to imagine what he could say that might make Phyllis understand or at least what might make her allow him to stay.
"What are you doing here?"
Billy's eyes opened quickly at the voice that suddenly seemed far too close to him. Nick sat across from him in the booth, his eyes glaring into his.
"I'm just waiting on Sharon to get some muffins and things together." He tried not to react to the tone, well aware he might be overly sensitive at the moment.
"And you really think this is where you should be? This is where you should be spending your time? You know about Hilary right? You know that Phyllis' best friend is in the hospital fighting for her life and you're here waiting for a sugar fix?"
"Not that I owe you any kind of explanation, but …"
"No, you're right. You don't owe me any explanation. You owe Phyllis an explanation. She loves you and I'll be the first to admit that I don't get that. You managed to get two of the best women I know to fall for you and you've hurt both of them because of your stupid, selfish desires. You don't deserve Phyllis, but you had her. You had her love. You had her devotion and instead of holding onto that, you go and throw it all away for a stupid poker …" It didn't hit him until he saw the shocked look on Billy's face and the sick feeling began to rush over him.
Billy leaned across the table. "How the hell do you know about that?"
Nick leaned back, cursing himself in his own mind. "I …" He had to say something. There was no way to back out of the conversation now. "I ran into Phyllis the other night and she was really upset. She needed to talk to someone." He could see the anger flashing in Billy's eyes. "Don't be angry with her about that. You've got no right to expect her to …"
"I'm not angry about that. I know I've hurt her and believe me, you don't think any less of me than I think of myself right now."
"I'm pretty sure that's not possible," Nick retorted.
He sighed in frustration. "And just so you know," he continued, "I'm here waiting on food to take back to the hospital. I tried to be there for Phyllis at the hospital earlier but she didn't want me there. She asked me to leave. Actually more like forced me to leave …."
"And you did?" He huffed as he looked at him in disgust. "So much for fighting for her, huh?"
"I wasn't going to argue with her in the middle of the hospital. She was hurting enough. Things with Hilary are really bad and it wasn't the time or the place and …"
"Billy, Your order's ready."
"I've got it." Nick stood, blocking his path to the counter. "Let me take it. You said it yourself. She doesn't want you there and you showing up again is just going to upset everything. If things are really as bad as you say, you shouldn't want to make it worse unless of course that was all just bullshit."
It killed him to let him think he was superior in any way, let alone anything that involved Phyllis. "The only reason I'm not with her right now is because she asked me to go. I'm doing what she asked. I feel like I owe her that much."
"You owe her a hell of a lot more than that, but leaving her alone is a good start. Do her a favor and keep that up."
Billy glared at him. "I'm going to fix things with her. I'm going to make this up to her. I love her and she loves me and there's nothing you or anybody else can do to change that."
Nick shook his head as he gathered the boxes into a manageable stack.
"Don't forget to tell her those are from me," Billy snapped as he pushed past him out the door.
Neil was the first familiar face he saw. "This way," he said as he led the attendant over to the other side of the waiting area. "You can put them right here." Nick reached into his pocket and handed the young man a bill. "Thanks for the help."
Neil clasped his hand on his shoulder. "Thanks for coming and thanks for this."
Nick nodded. "It's actually not from me," he admitted against his better judgment. "Billy sent them."
His eyes widened. "Billy? He was here earlier, but I don't think he was particularly well received by everyone." He tilted his head towards Phyllis' direction. "I'm not sure exactly what's going on with those two, but I got the distinct impression that they weren't exactly in the best of places."
"It's not really my business to tell," Nick sighed, "but it's something I'm sure you can understand." He watched as the realization flashed across Neil's face. His veiled meaning had been understood.
"Oh," Neil sighed. "Wow." He wanted to feel bad for him, but his sympathy was otherwise engaged. "You know when you're in a situation like this and you see two people that thought they had their whole lives ahead of them, you wonder why people take things for granted … why people are willing to throw everything away. I say things like that and then I remember the moments when I was willing to do the same damn thing."
"Nick?" Phyllis' soft voice was filled with surprise as she stepped up behind them. "What are you doing here?"
"I'll give you two a minute," Neil said quietly. "I need to go get an update from Devon anyway."
Phyllis narrowed her eyes as she looked at him. "I don't know that this is the best idea, Nick. I mean I appreciate that you cared enough to come by, but we don't really need to be …"
"I just stopped by to bring these." He gestured to the box of assorted pastries and the trays of coffees.
"Oh." Her face flushed with embarrassment. "That's nice. It was really thoughtful of you and Sharon to do that."
"It wasn't us. It was Billy. He wanted to bring them himself, but I thought it might be better if he stayed away."
"So he's just gonna send some coffee and donuts and that's supposed to fix everything?" She shook her head as she lowered her body into the chair. Her hands ran through her hair as she managed to look back up at Nick. "He couldn't even be here with me, Nick. He was texting people about games. It's like he's constantly looking for a fix … even when he's with me. I don't know how it got so bad. I don't know when I stopped being enough for him."
"That's a ridiculous question," he said softly, sitting down in the chair next to her and lightly touching her hand with his. "You're more than enough for him. He's just never been good enough for you."
