He stood beside her car and leaned against the driver's side door. "You sure you don't need me to drive you home? I don't mind."
"No. I'll be fine. Thank you though. I'm sure Sharon will be wondering where you are." She tried to focus on the task at hand as she pulled the seat belt across her chest. She felt numb. All her tears were gone now and everything that happened just seemed to horrible to be real.
"Sharon would understand. I can call her and tell her that you needed someone to stay with you. It's not a good idea for you to go home to an empty house. I know this is hard for you. I know you two were close."
"Forget about me," she breathed. "It's everyone in there that I feel bad for. Poor Devon. He just lost his wife and his child in the span of a few days. How do you get over something like that? How do you move on when you had everything you ever wanted a few days ago and now … it's all just gone."
Nick shook his head. "Devon has a lot of people around him. He's got a lot of support and although it's going to be hard, he'll have plenty of people to talk to, to lean on. That's what you need … someone to lean on and talk to if you need to talk. I don't think you need to be alone right now, Phyllis."
"Maybe not, but I don't think you're the person I need to be with." It had been easy to accept his support. After all, he had been the one to show up, to sit with her, to hold her as she'd heard the news, but now … after everything had passed, she had to think clearly. She had to remember what had happened between them just a few nights ago. "It wouldn't be a good idea."
"Phyllis," he said quietly, averting his eyes for a moment. "I didn't mean anything like that. I just meant I didn't want you to be alone in case …"
"I know. I know what you meant, but you and I … We've never been really good with boundaries. And right now, with the way I'm feeling, I'm too emotional and I'm going to try this new thing where I don't let my emotions determine my actions." She tried to force herself to smile slightly. "I appreciate it though. I really do. Thank you, Nick. For everything."
"You don't have to thank me. Maybe I should follow you home at least since you don't have your phone. Make sure you get there okay?" He stopped when she he saw the look on her face. "Okay," he sighed, taking a moment before speaking again, "You know I'll always be here for you, right?"
She nodded as she reached for the door and pulled it away from him. "I do," she whispered.
He watched as the door closed and she slowly began to back away.
"I was getting worried." The relief was evident on her face as Nick walked into the living room. "I waited at the coffee house for a while before I finally back here. I thought you would have come way before now. How are thing with Hilary?"
"She uh …" It had really hit him on the way home, how final it was. He had been at the hospital and watched as Devon had gotten the news. He'd watched a man learn that the woman he loved was gone … forever. In that moment, he'd been so consumed with comforting Phyllis that he hadn't really allowed himself to consider the magnitude of what happened. It wasn't really that he knew Hilary well enough to truly feel impacted by her loss, but it was the symbolic message behind it – how quickly things could change, how the people you loved could be gone in an instant, how you are just moving through life, taking things for granted one minute and the next those very things can be gone. "She died, Sharon." His voice felt empty.
Sharon's face morphed into horror. "She what?" She stood and rushed over to him. "Oh my God, Nick. Why didn't you call me? I would have come to the hospital."
"It wasn't … You didn't need to. I just didn't want to leave Phyllis there without anyone. Billy wasn't there and I …" For a moment he thought she might be angry, the jealousy always seemed to exist between the two women just below the surface.
"Of course not. I know she and Hilary were close. She shouldn't have been online in this. It's good that she had someone with her and I'm glad it was you. You two have shared a lot together and it's good that you can be there for her."
The surprise in his eyes must have been more obvious than he intended.
"I can actually feel something other than contempt for Phyllis," Sharon said softly. "I am human."
"I know that," he said quickly. "I didn't mean to …"
"Hey, I know …" She touched his arm gently. "I know you didn't. Are you okay? I'm sure it must have been a horrible day for you."
"I'm fine. It was way worse for Devon and everyone and for Phyllis." He couldn't forget that way she'd looked at him, the almost empty resignation in her eyes. She couldn't let him help her even though he wanted and even though, in his heart, he believed she wanted him to as well.
"Do you feel like you need to check on her? Call her? Maybe we should go over there?"
"What? Sorry?" Nick glanced up, realizing for the first time that she was talking.
"It's okay," Sharon smiled, still stroking his arm. "I was just saying if you feel like we need to, we can go over to Phyllis' and check on her."
"No. No," he said quickly. The awkwardness that would come of that exchange would only make things worse. "I think she wants to be alone. That's probably best anyway." He heard the words as they echoed through the room and still, he didn't believe them.
"You shouldn't be here."
Her words were cold as she stared at him. It was obvious she'd been crying and it took everything in him not to give into the impulse to pull her into his arms and hold her tight against his chest. It killed him to see her in pain and it was even worse to know that he was probably part of what had cause it. "Phyllis, can I come in? Please. We really need to talk."
"No we don't, Billy. We needed to talk weeks ago before you threw everything away for a stupid card game. Now we don't have anything to talk about. I have way too much going on right now to entertain you and your excuses."
He refused to move. "I know you're angry and you have every right to be, but please hear me out. I know everything going on with Hilary is making you even more stressed right now and that's part of why I'm here. I want to be here for you. I know how much you're hurting and I want to support you. I want to prove that I'm the man that will never walk away, that will never let you go through something like this alone. I made you that promise, remember? I promised you that you would never be alone again and I want to prove to you that I can keep that promise."
"You already broke it," she said quickly. "I was without you at the hospital when she … or I would have been if Nick …"
Billy stopped, studying her face. "When she what? What happened, Phyllis?" He reached for her, grimacing in physical pain as he watched her jerk away. "Phyllis?"
"She died, Billy. Hilary's gone and when I needed someone to hold me, when I needed someone to tell me that I'd be okay, that I'd get through it, that I'd lost my best girlfriend, but that my best friend was still right next to me, you weren't there."
"I'm so sorry," he managed, the lump in his throat nearly making it impossible to speak. "But there's a good reason. I have something for you."
"Dammit, Billy!" There was so much anger in her over all of it, but especially at the shallowness of this moment. "You actually think a gift is gonna fix this? Like the food and the music and the flowers. You think you can buy your way out of it."
"I don't, but I think this might."
"No." She grabbed his shoulders and pushed him towards the door. "I don't want any part of any of it," she spat. "Just get out."
"Phyllis. Wait, please. Just give me two minutes. Let me show you this. I really think it will change everything."
