Obviously Wrong
"Gilligan!" the four castaways cried in chorus as they ran toward where the boy lay unconscious in the sand. Having left the pie on the table, Mary Ann was the first to reach him. Hearing the commotion, the Howells peered out their door.
"Really, the nerve of- Good heavens!" Mr. Howell exclaimed when he saw Gilligan in the sand. He ran over to where the others were huddled around the first mate.
"Whatever happened to the poor boy?" asked Mrs. Howell, who stood by her husband.
"A lot of things, Mrs. Howell," the Professor said as he gently turned Gilligan on to his back. He picked up his hand and shoved his sleeve back to take the boy's pulse, and was shocked to see a line of raw skin on his wrist. "Now, what happened here?" he asked softly, quickly putting his hand over it so it would not worry the others, but he had his suspicions.
"Gilligan stumbled into camp, I called to him, he tried to come over, but he just collapsed!" the Skipper cried, kneeling by his buddy.
"Oh!" Ginger, who had stopped crying, began. "Mr. Howell? Your plan didn't work. You can keep your money."
Instead of a reply, Mr. Howell sighed in relief that he wouldn't have to pay the movie star.
"I told you it wouldn't work, Thurston!" Mrs. Howell exclaimed matter-of-factly.
"I know, Lovey.," Mr. Howell said sadly. "But it was at least better than bribing the boy directly!"
"His pulse is very rapid," the Professor cut in, "but it is slowly returning to normal. From the looks of it, he has been running a very long distance. I would say from the other side of the island."
"What was he doing on the other side of the island?" the Skipper asked, bewildered. "I thought Ginger said Gilligan was in the center of the island!"
Ignoring the Skipper's question, the Professor added, "He also isn't sweating, which may be a sign of dehydration." Lifting his hand from Gilligan's wrist, he gestured to Mary Ann and Ginger. "Girls, I would like you to bring me a bucket of water and a cup."
"Alright, Professor..." Mary Ann trailed off when she saw the mark on Gilligan's wrist. She gasped and put her hand to her mouth. The Professor's eyes grew wide as he realized that the first mate's arm had been uncovered and he quickly put his hand back on it.
"There are marks on his skin at the wrists," the Professor added, "which may suggest something was tied around them."
No one said anything. Mary Ann and Ginger left quietly to get the items the Professor requested, the Howells returned solemnly to their hut, and the Skipper left to make sure Gilligan's hammock was tied tight enough for him to rest. Everyone remained silent, but they were all remembering Gilligan's encounter with his double.
Agent 222 sat on the edge of camp, attempting to eavesdrop on the castaways talking in hushed voices. When he had peeked through the brush before he had seen them all huddled around the real Gilligan. He had been thinking of numerous ways to enter the camp, and none of them seemed possible without exposing him as the impostor.
"Vell, there goes that promotion!" he exclaimed softly. He sat up on his knees and peered out at the castaways; all but the Professor had left. Since his back was turned, 222 attempted to sneak over to the nearest hut.
Just then the girls returned from their task, Mary Ann carrying a bucket of water and Ginger holding a coconut cup. They didn't seem to notice as the agent quickly backed up into the bushes.
The Professor looked up and saw the girls with the bucket and water. "Now I need you to dip the cup into the water and attempt to administer it to him."
"Sure, Professor!" Mary Ann exclaimed, and she and Ginger began to scoop the water up.
As soon as their backs were turned, 222 began to slowly crawl to the nearest hut—the hut shared by Mary Ann and Ginger. As soon as he got into the girl's hut, the first thing that came to his attention was a mass of scarves that sat piled up on the table. Making sure no one was about to enter, 222 quickly walked over to investigate what was under the scarves. He grabbed at them and sent them flying in all directions.
When he saw the golden mirror beneath, he could have jumped for joy. "I found it!" he cried, picking it up and holding it in front of him, marveling at his own good fortune. "I know now I definitely vill not fail!"
Grinning, Agent 222 strolled over to the small window by the door, and watched as the Professor got up and walked over to the communal table. Ever so quietly, he opened the door just a crack before slipping out, mirror in hand, and creeping out of the camp. When he was safely out of sight, he broke into a run.
Before too long he came to a cave. This one had a much bigger entry, and the inside could hold eight people with room to walk around. He nodded to himself, satisfied at the discovery, before turning around and heading back into the jungle. He had finally come up with a plan worth executing.
Mary Ann held the coconut cup in her hand, frowning. She sat in the sand, cradling Gilligan's head gently as she tried to get him to drink. After many failed attempts to do so, Ginger had left to fill the bucket up once more. All the water had spilled on Gilligan's red polo shirt, turning it a shade darker.
"Oh, Gilligan," she lamented, "you're such a mess now. How am I going to get you to drink this water?"
As if on cue, the Professor returned holding the 'truth berry' pie, cut into small pieces. The Professor didn't even need to ask if she had gotten any of the water into the boy's mouth; the answer was more than clear.
"I'll take over from here, Mary Ann," he told her, taking the empty cup out of her hands and placing the pie on the ground. When she didn't move, he walked over to the other side of Gilligan."Where is the water?" he asked when he couldn't find the bucket.
"Oh, uh," the farm girl began nervously, "on Gilligan's shirt..." she trailed off, before adding, "But Ginger went to get more!"
The Professor's eyebrows rose at the very idea that the movie star would do any manual labor, especially for Gilligan, who had acted like a madman around her earlier. He heard footsteps behind him and the slosh of water, and turned to see Ginger struggling with the bucket filled halfway with water, a large stain of the liquid on her dress.
"Ginger, just place the bucket on the ground right there," he said sympathetically and then watched the movie star carefully bend down, only to drop the bucket with a loud THUD! He leaned over and grabbed the handle, pulling the bucket toward him, careful not to waste anymore.
Ginger groaned. "How do you carry that stuff, Mary Ann?" she asked, whining. "It's like that bowling ball I had to use in the movie The Bowling Beauty!"
"Ginger," the Professor began, dipping the cup into the bucket, "I shall withhold comment."
Holding the cup to Gilligan's lips, the Professor attempted to pour the liquid into Gilligan's mouth, but it all splashed down the first mate's chin and onto his soaked shirt. Mary Ann shot him a smug look as he dipped the cup in the water again, but before he could try to administer it to Gilligan, she grabbed the cup from the scientist.
"We've already wasted enough water going about like that!" she exclaimed.
"So I suppose you have a better way?"
"Well of course she does, Professor!" Ginger stood up for the farm girl. She nodded toward Mary Ann. "Go ahead, girl!"
Mary Ann smiled. Instead of trying to give the water to Gilligan, she put the cup to her own lips, keeping all of the water in her mouth. Then, she did something that the Professor would have never thought of. She leaned forward, and her lips met with Gilligan's in a kiss, with Mary Ann pushing all of the water out of her mouth into Gilligan's mouth. She continued her kiss for a moment longer than she needed, gentle and passionate.
The Professor's eyes widened when Mary Ann lifted away, and the first mate's eyes flickered open. He moaned and moved his hand to his head. "What happened?" he managed to rasp, unaware of what had just occurred, and no one alerted him. Ginger took a step back, as if at any moment Gilligan would see her and begin kissing her.
"You collapsed when you walked back into camp," the Professor explained. "You should drink some water." He dipped the cup in water once more, handing it to Gilligan. "You suffered from dehydration, which probably caused you to faint."
"De-hy-what?" the boy asked, making both the Professor and Mary Ann grin.
"It means you ran out of water," the farm girl explained.
"Oh." He took the cup, unsteadily, with both hands and slowly drained it of water, lifting it away and letting out a refreshed "Ahhhh". He sat up, feeling better already. This time, he filled the coconut himself, and drank it all down. Soon, the entire bucket was empty.
"Thanks guys!" Gilligan smiled, but his smile faded when he saw the look on Ginger's face, one of confusion and anger, and a little fear. "What's the matter, Ginger?" he asked sympathetically.
"Like you don't know!" she snapped.
"I don't know!"
"I've heard of wolves in Hollywood, but you are ridiculous!"
"Huh?" Gilligan's expression was one of utter confusion and hurt. He turned to the Professor and Mary Ann. "What does she mean?"
"I mean that you are stark-raving mad!" the movie star answered for them, her voice filled with rage.
"Hold it, Ginger!" the Professor shouted, stopping Ginger from lunging at Gilligan, who still sat on the ground in shock. "I think it's time we feed him that blueberry pie Mary Ann just baked. Maybe then he will remember." The first mate was about to ask something else, but the Professor stopped him. "She means you are blunt and irrational," he whispered.
Gilligan nodded, but it was obvious he was still confused, though he kept his mouth shut. Mary Ann took one of the pieces of the pie and handed it to Gilligan, who took it wholeheartedly. He was about to begin eating it when Skipper came bursting out of his hut door.
"Professor!" he called. "I heard my little buddy's voice!" He raced over to where they were sitting on the ground, Ginger standing a few yards away with her arms crossed. "Oh, Gilligan, you're awake!" Skipper exclaimed, bending over to put his hand on Gilligan's shoulder. "How do you feel?"
"Starved!" Gilligan whined, before taking a bite out of the slice. His eyes lit up and a wide grin spread across his face. "Wow," he blurted. "After being trapped in a cave, this tastes really great!"
Every pair of eyes widened. "Did you say trapped in a cave?" Skipper asked.
"Yeah, Skipper!" Gilligan answered, not even realizing that he was spilling out everything at once. "My double hit me over the head with a coconut, and dragged me into this cave, see? And he tied my wrists together, and my ankles together, and started talking to me in this weird Russian accent and he gagged me before I could answer you when you called."
No one said anything. Finally, the Professor broke the silence. "How long were you trapped in that cave?"
"I dunno..." the first mate trailed off as he tried to recall his experience."I was trapped in the cave all night, and I guess a few hours yesterday, and a few hours today."
This time, it was Ginger who continued the interrogation. "Did you...you know, try to kiss me?" she asked nervously.
"Ew!" Gilligan exclaimed. "No! I would never try to kiss a girl! That's just gross!"
The Professor and Mary Ann grinned at that, but they weren't going to tell him how they got him to drink water. At least, not yet. The Professor gave everyone the look that said "That's enough" before getting up and taking the pie back to the table, with Gilligan staring at it solemnly.
Suddenly, the door to the Howell hut opened up and out came Mr. and Mrs. Howell, dressed as if they were on their way to the Royal Ball.
"Mrs. Howell and I are going for a little stroll before din-din," Mr. Howell explained.
"I hope you get better, dear!" Mrs. Howell called to Gilligan, who nodded.
"Thank you, Mrs. Howell," he replied as he watched the two vanish into the jungle.
It had taken a few hours, but it was finished. 222 stood in front of the large cave, the entrance now blocked by a bamboo grid. A door was made into the grid, complete with padlock.
"It is ready," he said to himself. He walked over and gave his creation a tug, to be sure it was steady, before sitting on the rock that lay not three feet from the cave mouth.
Suddenly, he heard footfalls coming from the jungle. On the alert, he quickly ducked down behind the rock, looking out over into the foliage. Soon, he saw the Howells come into the clearing in front of the cave. The rich couple were talking quietly to each other, and they didn't even notice the agent or the cave.
222 shrugged and got up, walking over to the millionaires like he was Gilligan.
"Why, hello, dear boy!" Mr. Howell greeted.
"Are you well?" Mrs. Howell asked. "I was sure you were ill when we left camp."
"In fact, I thought you were still in camp!" Mr. Howell added.
The agent didn't say anything; he just stood there, attempting to make his presence menacing. He reached into his back pocket, and pulled out his shiny gold pocket knife.
"Egad, Lovey!" Mr. Howell exclaimed. "That's a pocket knife made from solid gold!"[EC1]
"Thurston," Mrs. Howell began, confused, "didn't Gilligan say his double had a gold pocket knife?"
Just as they were pondering over what Gilligan had said, 222 walked over to the bamboo jail and opened the door, flipping his knife out. Returning to the Howell's with his blade pointed at them, he gestured to the cave and said in his own voice, "Get in."
"Oh, really," Mrs. Howell began, "didn't anyone tell you that it's rude to point?"
"Uh, Lovey, I think we'd better listen!" Mr. Howell exclaimed, nudging his wife over until they were both in the cave. Pulling a large bamboo key out of his pocket, 222 closed the door and locked it with a click.
"You can't really be planning on capturing everyone!" Thurston cried. "That's impossible!"
"I captured you two, did I not?" he asked. Neither millionaire replied. "And, anyvay, I enjoy the challenge."
