Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

This one has three parts. I just didn't feel like giving them all their own chapter. And thank you Shiruy for helping me out so much! :D

Info time! Oedipus was the king of Thebes. I thought it would be a fitting name for this story because of the incest and all. And Minato being the King of Konoha, hurhur. x3


It feels like there's a parasite inside his head, trying to eat the little sanity that still remains. He knows that pulling it out will be painful, but it's better than letting it consume him whole.

And so, as he watches the back of his son, the words slip through his defenses without any effort.

"I love you, son."

Naruto turns around and only smiles, shifting the backpack to lay more comfortably on his shoulder.

"It's just a week long mission, I'll be back before you know it."

The door closes and Minato stands in the hallway, alone.

(Being good at killing has eaten Minato's ability to interact with the living. And he whispers "you misunderstood" at the empty walls. )

An hour later, his personal ANBU guards come in and find their Hokage still standing in the hallway, staring at the door.

--

Jiraiya's hold on his cup is strong still, even after consuming ridiculous amounts of that intoxicating liquid. He laughs a lot and it reddens his cheeks.

He sits beside him, his own glass still remaining untouched.

"You need to get laid, Minato!" Jiraiya says in an unnecessary loud voice as he ogles the passing females. He only sighs and keeps staring at the darkened sky.

"So you keep telling me." the tone used is a mixture of boredom and annoyance. It does nothing to get Jiraiya off his case and the old man only leans closer to him, a glint in his eye.

"So tell me. Anyone in mind?" the alcohol stained breath hits his nose and he turns to look at his sensei with a blank face.

"Naruto." he responds without the slightest hesitation or change in his facial expression. Even though saying his son's name makes the old man's whole body still, the drunken smile doesn't vanish.

Jiraiya only stares and snorts and mutters "and he cracks a joke" before gulping down the little that is left of the once full cup.

"Fine, fine. Be that way. Just know that sex is great and I-" Jiraiya keeps talking as he stands up and stretches his long body contently, his bones letting out sounds of cracking approval "-will never understand how you can be so willing to give it up."

He notices how painfully obvious it is that Jiraiya doesn't even glance at his direction and just leaves him to sit there. Women let out high pitched screams when his teacher starts to chase after them.

(And Minato's ears press against his skull in distaste because those are not the screams he wants to hear.)

--

"Kakashi?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you have a moment? I'd like to confide in you with something."

"Uh-huh."

"I know this might be a bit shocking, but..."

"Go on."

"I think... I think that I may have feelings for Naruto."

"That's great."

"And I don't mean feelings as a father. No, wait, of course I love him as a father, but also as a... a lover?"

"I see."

"It's just that I suddenly started to have these urges. I want to kiss my own son."

"Fascinating."

"And – and it doesn't stop there, Kakashi! I've dreamed about him – us so many times now. Sometimes I really have to make an effort not to jump him when we're at home."

"M-hm."

Removing the hands that have at some point crawled up to cover his shame stained face, he turns to look at his student, surprised how well Kakashi has taken his confession of immorality.

But Kakashi's face is buried in a creation of his white-haired teacher, and the man beside him says "That's nice" without even being talked to.

Just to be sure, he says "I want to fuck my son," and when the answer is another bland "Really?" a Rasengan starts to form in his hand.

Every ninja in a two mile radius feels the blast of the explosion and goes on high alert, but the women are delighted when scraps of paper start to rain down on the village like snow.

The men weep, once they recognize the remains of the unmistakable orange cover.


To Be Continued...

Comment if you feel like it :D