XII
Tarot card readings
20th Century
Wales
Under the church
1984
April sits on the cold flooring beside Terry. Terry sits with her back straight up against the wall and her legs stretched out in front of her. Her black eyes jump from looking at one sleeping person to the next, as if she is studying them. Then over to her right is the Doctor and Rose. Rose's hand rests limply in his and she rests against his shoulder, fast asleep. The Doctor, however, looks rather troubled.
Suddenly feeling the cold air around her in this room, April hugs her knees tightly, trying to contain all of her own body heat. Every so often she looks down at her wrist watch, wondering how many hours she can get through without falling asleep. Due to the closed-in surroundings, she can't quite make head or tail if it is day or night. However like most nights back home where she tried to stay awake, her eyes eventually start to close. Once they are shut, she is suddenly met with the image of the Black Lighthouse.
April jolts awake with a sharp headache.
"Something's bothering you."
April surveys the silent room and eventually notices the Doctor watching her with a concerned look. She then looks to Terry next to her who seems to be watching her every move. A small shiver runs down April's spine and she tugs at the thick sleeves to her grey hoodie.
"It's just a headache," April replies, shrugging. "I just need some water." Then using the wall for support, she gets back up on her feet and leaves the hall, trying her hardest not to wake anyone else.
As April does this, the Doctor makes a move to follow her, but Terry silently raises a hand to stop him. For a moment they look at each other. Terry then shakes her head. April heads back through the alleyway yet the hope of finding a place to get some water is very low, so April finds herself walking up and down the alleyway aimlessly with a heavy heart.
April folds her arms tightly across her chest, her teeth chattering from the cold. At least the cold air is keeping her awake. April then leans against the slightly damp stone wall and stares at the wall opposite, scowling heavily. For the next few moments, she tries to gather her thoughts as to what is happening.
Her plan to run away from Bruce before she fell through the dustbin seems so far away now. Surely it has been at least few weeks, perhaps a month since she has started travelling with the Doctor. And yet it feels like no time has past at all.
However, April's thoughts are quickly interrupted.
"Young girl, would you like to take some readings?" The croaky female's voice makes April jump.
Sitting in the corner of one of the bends in the alleyway is a black woman, looking around in her late sixties, shuffling a deck of tarot cards. The woman sits cross legged on the stone ground and to her left is a couple of burning jasmine sticks. The smell reminds April of her therapist's office and she suddenly recoils.
"Uhm, no thank you," Says April, shaking her head. "I'd best be getting back to the others."
"But why would you, a young woman travelling with a lonely God not be in the least bit curious about her future? He already suspects there's something about you with your recurring nightmares of the Island and the Black Lighthouse. You're his hardest challenge."
For a moment, April is completely taken aback. Now this woman has got her attention. "Who are you?" April hisses sternly. She feels more angry at this woman rather than scared. "How did you know about that?"
The old woman half-smiles, revealing her yellowed teeth. "Come, my child, and let's see what the cards have to say about you."
April glares at the woman for a long while, not trusting her and yet somewhat curious at the same time.
"I'm not going to bite, child. Let's see what your life says about you. You'll forget when you return to the lonely God. Until a few years when you are reminded of this day." The woman holds out her hand, inviting April to join her.
Despite the slight panic April felt when her nightmare was mentioned, she suddenly feels intrigued by this old woman, who she swear was not there in the alleyway with her moments ago. But she finds herself slowly moving forward to sit opposite her. She surprises herself by wanting to hear this woman and wonder if the jasmine sticks have some sort of enchantment to them. It seems like a reasonable answer as she ignores her inner voice wanting her to go back to the hall with the others.
The woman shuffles the deck cards for a while before laying out ten cards in a particular formation, facing down. April studies the same painted pattern on the back of each card, seeing the different hues of red being interwoven with a deep blue.
"Have a sip of this. It will ease the mind." The old woman passes April a glass of mulled wine.
April shakes her head. "I'm not one for taking drinks off strangers."
"And yet you are happy to travel with three strangers."
April stares at the woman curiously before giving in and taking the wine. She doesn't think twice before downing the drink in one, feeling the hot wine slip down her throat.
"Now," The woman continues, placing the remaining cards next to the burning sticks. "The first one," She points to the one closest to April. "Will tell you about your present position."
April stares at the cards for a while before slowly reaching for the card and turning it over. The Magician. April doesn't know what it means but the old woman chuckles in delight.
"Ahh yes," She coos. "You are a very intelligent young woman, I see! You received it from both your parents. And you have a skill; a skill you may not have noticed yet," She lowers her voice. "You're a natural born fighter. And I can see that it will do you no harm at all. UNIT would have liked you as part of their team if they were still alive."
April does not mention about the fact that they are supposed to be at least twenty years before UNIT supposedly died in battle. Like the Doctor says, time is not linear.
The old woman looks down at the card thoughtfully and frowns. "Yet you can be very manipulative. I can see it in your eyes. Your scowl tells stories of your fear for Bruce Fey, yet you can come across as overpowering to others."
April flinches at the mention of Bruce Fey and suddenly wants to get away from the scene, a sense of unease slowly overcoming her. And yet she is still full of curiosity. About a month ago, April was living in her darkest days, wanting nothing more than her death, but now she sits here feeling rather curious about her life.
"Yes we'll have more of that later," The woman says as if reading April's thoughts. "Let's take a look at your second card. This one is your immediate influence of what lies just ahead."
Without further ado, feeling more curious than fearful, April quickly turns over the card to reveal The High Priestess, however this time the card is upside down. April frowns knowing that if a tarot card is seen upside down, it means negativity.
"Ahh yes, yes," The woman nods. "Yes you will have an emotional block due to snobbery, stubbornness or maybe even ignorance. Possibly down to a love affair."
April's scowl deepens and then she snorts in disbelief. Love is practically non-existent to her. The old woman moves on to her third card which will show her goal or destiny. It is The Chariot facing upwards.
It seems as if the old woman is trying to avoid April's eye as she speaks looking down at the card. "You will be experiencing many battles in your future that will only end in success and triumph if you take heed in what is happening around you now. This can only be accomplished based on existing circumstances."
April opens her mouth to speak but the old woman shushes her again. This irritates April but she says nothing in response.
"Save the questions for the end," The old woman waves her hand over the fourth card slowly. "The distant past." She whispers.
April hesitates before flipping the card over. A part of her is afraid to see what it is going to be, yet she is also intrigued as to what the old woman might say. The card is The Tower which is another figure of tarot reading that means nothing to her.
"I see," The woman breathes out deeply. "You need change as the old ways are no longer of value to you. Unseen forces are at work and humbling events and powers demand that extra bit of attention."
The meaning of the card does not make any sense to April as she tries to understand exactly what the old woman is telling her. She can't quite figure if it is talking about her parent's death. It feels like everything her tarot cards are telling her are meant to ring the truth but she doesn't know how to go about the things that mention her future. Is being with the Doctor really going to let her experience through many different battles?
"Now the fifth one is the recent past. It will show the most recent sphere of influences of events that have passed on…or are passing."
It then quickly comes to April's realisation that the fourth card isn't commenting on the effects of her parent's death but her childhood when they were still alive. She flips the card to see The Hermit upside down.
The old woman smacks her lips and then hums loudly. "Well this explains a lot about your scowl," She says somewhat distantly, pointing to April. "I believe your loss five years ago has brought you stubbornness, objection, fear, self-delusion, attempts at self destruction and false humility. And because of this you sometimes have a lack of communication with others or perhaps untruthful responses when there is communication. For instance you have not mentioned to the lonely God about your nightmare. Or you push the human and the Cyborg away."
"Fuck off." April snaps.
The woman's head shoots up and she looks directly at April. There is a moment of silence and April wonders if she is going to be punished. But the woman looks back down at the cards.
"Just continue to observe everything," The old woman sighs. "The sixth card will show your near future influences."
April clumsily flips the card over.
The old woman suddenly gasps dramatically, rocking backwards as she clasps her hands to her chest. April looks down at the card and fear rises up inside her slowly.
The card shows Death upside down.
April looks up at the old woman. Despite the woman's reaction, the card doesn't scare her. "What does it mean?" She queries, shrugging her shoulders.
"Just like The Tower showed you: change is needed," The old woman's voice quivers. "If you don't think on it, you'll be landing in this! Stuck with your depression forever! Trapped in limbo and failure will fall upon you, April Hollerford!" The old woman's voice becomes hysterical and echoes through the alleyway.
April is more surprised by her dramatic attitude than her words. The woman eventually clears her throat as she calms herself down.
"What do you mean by change?" April asks.
"And so we'll move onto the seventh card," The old woman ignores her. "Which is the questioner. It will portray your present position and attitude with the surrounding circumstances."
April stares at the old woman who still seems to be avoiding her eye. She quickly flips the card over, wanting to get to the end of the tarot reading as quickly as possible.
The next card reveals The Moon. This card suddenly puts April at ease. The sketch of the full moon feels so familiar to her; a sight she adores.
The old woman examines the card, looking rather surprised. "Well there are some hidden changes in there. Perhaps a slow build in trust and confidence. Very slight though. Dreams and intuitions of a foreboding nature. You are a lover and an astral traveller with a psychic development. Many secrets are guarded within the soul," The old woman stares at April thoughtfully for a while before raising her eyebrows and moving on to the eighth card. "Ah and this is the environmental factors that will show your influence on other people around you and your influence on life," She watches April turn the card to show the Queen of Pentangles. "This is interesting," She picks up the card and shows it to April. "You see the Queen has landed the right way up for you which means you are seen as a warm hearted soul and a tower of strength, yet…" She turns the card over so it is upside down. "You are also seen as an insecure individual whom is fearful of failure and given to moodiness," The old woman looks at the card down her nose. "It's a funny one because most of these cards are permanent fixtures and some can be changed by you yourself. But with this one," She turns the card round and round continuously. "You have the ability to change your fate. You can change whichever way this card turns," She places the card back down to where she picks it up from and then rubs her hands together excitedly. "Only two more to go! This next one will show your inner emotions: your inner hopes, hidden emotions and your secret desires, fears and anxieties."
For some odd reason, this is the one card that interests April the most. She wants to know what the card will say about her and whether or not it is going to be accurate. The card is The Hanged Man.
"I'm certainly not surprised at this," The woman says, raising an eyebrow. "Your faith is in one's own development. New and old beliefs are put to the test for this to happen. There are good intentions despite the unconventional behaviour. However you will experience suspension, suffering and sacrifice in that order. That's something to take note of. Suspension, long and painful. You have to enter old places you felt at home. Suffering. You will keep suffering until the battle for that Cytracik is over. And sacrifice. You'll think of something that might be the only way," She then smiles. "And now for the final result. The result of the influences as revealed by the other cards. Good luck."
April watches the old woman, curious as to why she wished her luck. The final card turns out to be The Wheel of Fortune. It is upside down.
The old woman shifts on the spot. "Self-delusion is now a refuge from lessons to be learned. Reality is confronted and there will be a change for the worse. April Hollerford, you have a very hard lesson to learn in your future about your own stubbornness. Improper actions will be used. Change is needed."
They both fall silent and April continues to watch the woman. She notices that the smell of burnt jasmine has now vanished and the air around her is very cool.
"I never told you my name." April states, narrowing her eyes.
"One day, child, you will see things that have gone wrong which will all be down to your own doings. You will see your friends fall down one by one and their death will be down to you." The woman quickly grabs onto April's arm tightly just as she is about to make a move to leave. She pulls the sleeve to April's hoodie to reveal her scars. April starts to panic and cries out, trying to snatch her arm away.
"Get away from me!" April cries but the woman holds on tighter.
"Sacrifice will be your only answer!" Her voice suddenly becomes shrill. She then lets go of April who quickly scrambles to her feet and runs to the other end of the alleyway. April catches her breath again as she folds her arms across her chest, trying her hide her wrists from view completely. She then looks back at the old woman who is looking down at the over turned cards. The jasmine sticks have completely burnt out.
All of a sudden, she has never felt as vulnerable as she does now since she has been with the Doctor.
"You have the ability to change, April. You just need to see what," The woman's voice is calm once more. "Once you understand that Time Heals, then you can change it. You'll have one shot of it."
"What's going on here?" The Doctor steps out of the shadows, looking from the old woman to April.
April clears her throat. "Nothing," she lies. "Everything's fine. I was just getting my fortune told with silly little tarot cards. None of it is true."
The Doctor studies her quickly; knowing that something is upsetting her but can't see what. He then nods. "Come on. Aiden is brewing up some tea."
The Doctor takes a step away away but then stops as he turns his attention to the old woman. She sits there with her head bowed over her deck of cards, shuffling them around. She hums a tune under her breath. A very recognisable nursery rhyme. It takes the Doctor and April seconds before they recognise the tune to the well known nursery rhyme, Oranges and Lemons. But this does not seem odd to the Doctor. She is just a tarot card reader humming a song to herself.
But it does not explain the way April has visibly closed in on herself.
April slowly follows the Doctor but before she leaves the cold alleyway, she turns back to look at the fortune teller one last time. The woman holds up the upside down Hermit card, shaking her head in disappointment.
And then April remembers what the card meant: untruthful responses.
She has just lied to the Doctor.
