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Where Courage Ignites
5. A Place To Belong
January 10th, 2018
When I woke up this morning, I wasn't even sure I was still me. I miraculously felt properly rested and rejuvenated for once. Every fear and anxiety that had plagued my mind my first day was gone. I leapt off my bed and merrily pranced across my room to my dresser. Inside, I found my favorite, most flattering black dress and paired it with a beautiful knitted red cardigan.
I closed my door as quietly as I could and tiptoed across the hallway to my parent's room. "Hello?" I asked into the room, putting my ear up to the door and heard the soft pitter-patter of water running in the shower. I poked my head in to find their messy, vacant bed. I went in and peeked inside the bathroom, spotting my target on the vanity on just the other side of the door. I reached my thin arm through the slightly cracked open door and gently slid the makeup box across the counter and into my arms.
I crept across the upper level back to my room. I placed the makeup box on the floor in front of my full-length and knelt down in front of it. I began removing the foundation, eyeliner, blush, etc. (Thank god my mom and I have the same olive skin tone.) I began applying the foundation on my face as evenly as I could when I felt a presence. I slowly turned my head towards the door; my hands froze half way to my face as I locked eyes with my mother, leaning against my doorframe in a towel.
"What are you doing?"
"Uhh," I glanced at my scared reflection in the mirror before turning back to her. "Nothing?"
Her eyebrow shot up. "It looks like you borrowed my make up without my permission."
"Oh yeah! Now I remember! I borrowed your make up." I smiled cheekily.
My mother's eternal frown miraculously curled upward into an unprecedented smirk and she began giggling. "If you had asked, maybe I would have helped you."
I looked at my reflection, searching for any flaws before declaring, "I don't need your help. I'm doing just fine."
"No, no, no" My mother shook her head, an amused expression still gracing her features. "Let me show you how it's done." She kneeled in front of me on the floor and began applying my make up for me, her steady hands tracing over my skin with the brushes and pencils. I stared into her dark brown eyes as they displayed her meticulous concentration. It was an exercise in trust allowing her steady hands to frame my sensitive eyes with charcoal black liner. I was grateful in that moment that we could share such an intimate routine. Now, will her thick brush tickling my cheeks, I understood that her recent exercise in tough love was not maliciously intended. She had been pushing me these last few days because somehow, she really knew I could handle it.
"Done," she said, guiding me by my chin to look at the mirror.
"Whoa!" I exclaimed, admiring her work.
"Just don't let your father see," she said, capping the lipstick and tossing it back into the box. "It'd make him cry."
I waited for her to finish getting ready outside her room until she snuck me down the stairs. She pushed me out the door first and called into the house behind us, "Have a good day, Honey!"
My dad called out to us, "You too!"
My mom murmured to me, "What he doesn't know won't hurt him."
After a few minutes of silence as the city swirled by outside our windows, my mother spoke up. "Was Troy his name?"
"The guy I was with yesterday?"
"Sure, if that's the guy you're all dolled up for."
"I'm not dolled up for anyone."
My mother glanced at me with her trademark I know better look. "C'mon, then. If it's not Troy, who is it?"
"I'm wearing make up and a dress on my own accord. For myself and no one else, thank you very much."
"Now there's the independent young woman I raised!" She proudly yelled to no one in particular and we laughed.
When we got to the front of the school, she had one last piece of advice for me. "Gabriella, I want your primary focus to be school. It's nice that there are more people for you to make friends with, but if your grades start slipping, we're putting you somewhere else. West High. Do you understand my expectations?"
"Yes," I responded, not tacking on my initial comeback that West High has boys, too. We were finally getting along, why sour it?
"Alright. Have a good day, sweetie."
"You too," I said. I walked up to the doors sent a smile to the massive clock that once intimidated me.
"Gabriella!" A voice called out to me. I turned around and found Taylor cutting her way through a crowd to me with a rolling backpack trailing behind her.
"Hey Tay!"
She seemed slightly taken back by my name for her, but continued, "Good morning." She cleared her throat and smoothed out her blazer. "Have you reconsidered your stance on joining our scholastic decathlon team?"
"Has Martha rethought hers?"
"I'm afraid not."
"I'm sorry. I can't intrude."
"Gabriella, let me reassure you that you would not be intruding in the slightest. The vast majority of the team wants you to join."
"I don't know. I'm not trying to disrupt anything good you guys have."
"That's the thing Gabriella, we're not good," she admitted. "We would finally become something good if you joined our team. What do you say? Will you join us?"
"But…Martha - "
"Martha will get over it," she promised. "If she gives you any trouble, let me take care of her. You just worry about those titration calculations. Please, Gabriella. I'm begging."
"Fine," I reluctantly obliged.
"Thank you!" Taylor jumped with joy. "I promise you won't regret it. Maybe we'll get to go to nationals after all!"
"Let's handle of regionals first."
"Now that's the kind of prioritization we need in our leadership! You know, if you hadn't been so stubborn with joining, I might have considered you too be my co-captain," she teased. "What a shame."
"Yes, such a shame," I laughed.
"What's this?" Anthony jumped off from the top of a bench and walked over to us, his group of skaters watching. "Did I hear that you're joining the official nerd squad?" He smiled at his jab proudly while we stared at him blankly. "C'mon! I'm only teasing! But you two, I told you, didn't I? I knew from the moment I saw little Gabriella here that she'd fit right in. Looks like I found you the perfect addition to your schooling triathlon troop."
Taylor said, "Scholastic decathlon team?"
"Whatever," Anthony said. "So, where's my thanks?"
I foolishly asked him, "What am I supposed to do to thank you?"
"I have an idea." Putting his hand in an 'O' shape, he opened his mouth and began moving his head forward and back to his hand.
"You're vile!" Taylor spat. "Leave us alone!"
"I'm obviously joking. Christ, calm yourself. It was just a joke." Anthony winked at me and rushed back to his friends before Taylor could yell at him more, which by her clenched fists and tense shoulders she appeared ready to do.
I asked Taylor, "What's the deal with that guy?"
"Who knows? He probably wasn't hugged enough as a child."
I giggled. "C'mon," I said, and she and I accompanied each other inside the building until setting off for our own respective homerooms.
Mrs. Darbus sped through a reminder of the dress code before fully divulging into the impact theater had on Roman society. I was so close to passing out from boredom that my head nearly fell off my desk. The bell rang after what felt like actual eternity and I set off for Biology, my heart singing happily in my chest.
I opened the door covered in science-based puns and memes (the ones teachers print out to seem relatable) and first noticed Troy in the back of the lab as usual. I took my seat at our table and took out my book to read.
I recognized Mr. Brannigan's tie die lab coat out of the corner of my eye. I couldn't help but feel on edge just from his presence alone. I slowly raised my eyes and found his back turned to me, erasing what had been on the blackboard. He abruptly turned around and I dropped my eyes down into the book again.
"Hey," A soft voice said beside me, and I looked towards it. A pair of magnificent blue eyes met mine, and a smile immediately bloomed on my face.
I don't think I had time to calculate a response (if one were to eventually come) before we were interrupted. "Let me see your homework," Mr. Brannigan was towering over me, his big hand reached out. I quickly unzipped my backpack, took out my notebook, and flipped it over to the correct page. He snatched it from me and read down the list of answers. "Why don't you show your work?"
"I don't need to," I answered.
"You're not the one to decide that, I am. You need to show all your work. How else can I know that you didn't just copy the answers down?"
"Those are my answers," I quietly remarked, my arms crossing over my constricting chest.
"I don't want to do this…" Mr. Brannigan began, and I began fearing the worst. A painful ache began pulsating in my gut from underneath the anticipation. "Let me see your work, Troy."
"My-?" Troy began, but quickly obeyed and showed his homework to him. Mr. Brannigan stared at Troy while slowly accepting the papers. He took a few never ending moments to look compare the works, and I felt my heart thumping harder and harder in my chest.
"You have some wrong, Troy. I still don't know how you got your answers, Gabriella."
"I did them," I shyly spoke.
"You have no proof of that!" Mr. Brannigan snapped, smacking my notebook back onto the table and letting it fall into my lap. "What did I tell you yesterday? I told you that if I saw anymore suspicious behavior, that'd be the last straw."
My voice shook as I spoke, "I'll do it over again-"
"What are you saying?" He interrupted.
"I'll redo the homework if you want."
"The homework is due today. I won't accept any late work. I'm giving you a zero for today. Show your work." Mr. Brannigan warned me before casually greeting the whole class.
I couldn't pay his lecture much attention, opting instead to fill my notebook pages with doodles of three-dimensional boxes. It soothed the beast in my belly better than acknowledging the dictator at the front of the classroom.
When the bell finally rang, I took little time packing my things. I was already a few steps across the tile when I heard Troy behind me say, "Gabby, hold up."
"I'll talk to you outside of the room," I murmured and left the classroom, sticking near the door by a row of lockers. I put my foot against a locker behind me, but nearly lost my balanced and instead flattened myself against it. When I saw Troy exit the room, I glanced away nervously before acknowledging him. "Hey!"
"Hey, that was pretty brutal."
"Yeah, well, I'm getting used to it," I lied.
"Yeah," Troy chuckled. "So, are we working together the same time as yesterday?"
"Yes, but we'll have to do it at my house. I don't know," I rambled. "My parents are just a little concerned I guess. I don't know. I mean, we could try to get it done during lunch instead."
"No, it's alright." Troy said.
"Really?" I asked.
"Yeah, your dad is funny!"
"Really?" I repeated, reasonably surprised.
"I think so," Troy chuckled. "I'll head over at four. Sound okay?"
"Yes," I said.
Troy appeared distracted by something and quickly mumbled, "See you then." Then he left down the hallway.
I allowed my eyes to linger on his departing figure until it disappeared into the crowd. When I turned to leave for my next class, I found what Troy had seen – Mr. Brannigan standing outside his door, his fuming eyes glued to me. I left in the opposite direction, a much longer way through the halls.
…
I could navigate the heavy flow of bodies heading towards the courtyard much better today. I remained in pace with the countless others until I could break off for my table. I headed towards the back, excited to save my spot and race to the cafeteria. I walked past the last few bodies in my way and found Martha and Taylor animatedly arguing with each other. Martha's eyes suddenly found mine and she immediately stomped away in a huff. Taylor then looked towards me, smiled empathetically, and shrugged.
"Was that about me?" I asked.
"No," Her eyes avoided mine and I knew that had been a lie. "That was just…something else. Let's get some food. Aren't you starving?" She quickly marched away from me.
"Yeah," I drawled, still unconvinced. I set my backpack next to hers and trailed after her.
Getting through the massive lines of people took away nearly twenty minutes of our lunch period. Eventually, I set down my plate of nachos (Taylor's recommendation) at the table and took my seat. Everyone quickly followed and Taylor wasted no time announcing me as a new member of the team.
"Team," she folded her hands on top of the table seriously. "After much deliberation, I have made the executive decision to allow Gabriella to join us as we prepare for regionals."
Martha was the first to speak up, asking, "Will she be competing with us?" with a distasteful look on her face.
"She will be as much a member of the team as the rest of you. Now-" Taylor was quickly cut off by the loud screech of Martha's chair against the linoleum tile. She put on her backpack and flipped her curly brown hair dramatically before grabbing her tray and abandoning her spot.
"Now that that's out of the way, let's discuss practice times. When is everyone free? We also need to be mindful that classrooms lock at five. So ideally, we'll be out of here by then." Taylor's words quickly faded to white noise as I stared ahead at the empty seat across from me. My eyebrows furrowed together in guilt as I felt entirely at fault for pushing Martha out of the team. I wanted to belong somewhere, but I didn't want to replace anyone.
A/N: Thank you so much for reading! What do you think of Mr. Brannigan singling out Gabriella again?
