Twitchy: Let's get started off right!
Dude ausome fanfic, and I have some truthes.
Zelda: did you ever sleep with ganon or vaati or did they rape you.
Link: who do you like more, zelda or Malon? and also wouldn't it be easier when fighting dark link to just say Ruto I love you and hiding while Ruto got Dark link. disco kirby (-.-)
ganondork: what would happen if Navi went hyper in the earths core?
Vaati: did you ever wonder what would happen if you were good?
Emo: what would happen if you guys were nice to the cast? would it end the world.
Dark Link: why do you hate Ruto, you're links opposite so you should like her.
now for the dares. (evil laughter)
allow the ancients from final fantasy to destroy all of the cast before you revive them.
Emo & Risu: (hands them both a deathnote) I'm cranky because of highschool so kill ganon, vaati, Belum, tingle, and navi for me. why? because they god * frieken * me off.
Link: fight Dark link again and use the same thing I just told you.
Everyone: fight in mortal kombat against the earth realm. (See the movie on youtube or rent it)
Emo: Allow my armies I use to destroy my enemies in my book I'm writing to kill them all. except for Risu
And guys, you should read Keybladeboys truth or dare, it is frieken hilarious. and also, where do I find Risu's fanfics.
see ya later dead hylians, faries and evil bosses
Hero of Creation
Zelda: Well, they didn't do anything to me really… they weren't that interested in me.
Twitchy: Uh huh, yeah… I believe you…
Ganon: She was drugged…
Zelda & Twitchy: What?!
Vaati: -tackles Ganon- He's kidding!
Twitchy: … -taps hand with stun baton- Ganon… I know you'd never lie to me. Was she drugged?
Ganon: Well, you see, Vaati suggested—
Twitchy: Ganon!
Ganon: ALRIGHT! I DRUGGED HER! BUT I'M SORRY!! I REPENT! REPENT! REPEEENT!
Twitchy: See? He's sorry. Zelda? Oh no.
Zelda: -stalks angrily towards Vaati and Ganon, Twitchy's shotgun in her hand-
Twitchy: -grabs Zelda's ankles in an attempt to stop her, but is continuously dragged along the floor as Zelda gets ever closer to her prey- No Zelda! Forgive them for they don't know what they're doing!
Zelda: -stomps on Twitchy's head with her high-heel- Don't go Jesus on me!
Twitchy: -twitches- Ow…
Zelda: -aims at Vaati-
Vaati: Wait! I can- -BOOM!-
Ganon: No! It was his id- -BOOM!-
Twitchy: Holy (bleep!)
Link: -reads paper- I liked Zelda, but as stated in previous chapters, I didn't really like her because she never rewarded me for rescuing her.
Zelda: You never asked!
Link: I don't care! Anyway, I think I'm better off with Malon anyway… she gave me a horse for free.
Malon: -hugs Link-
Link: And she hugs me! –smiles- And yes, it would be easier. I hope I get to test it out.
Twitchy: Hey Ganon, you got a question… Ganon? Ugh… -revives Ganon- Science question.
Ganon: -puts on lab coat and spectacles- (German accent) What is the question?
Twitchy: "What would happen if Navi went hyper in the earth's core?"
Ganon: … we would all die… you know, kablooey.
Twitchy: … that's it? No scientific explanation?
Ganon: What's there to explain?
Twitchy: -leaps on desk and aims shotgun at Ganon's face- God (bleep!) it! These people need an education, and you're going to be the one who provides it. Why? Because I freak'in said so!
Ganon: -silent- … screw- -BOOM!-
Twitchy: There, problem solved, let's go. –revives Vaati- Read your dare…
Vaati: I'd be saving Hylians and Minish rather than killing them… that's all I see…
Twitchy: Eh, next…
Risu: -comes in through front door-
Twitchy: Oh my god! –glomps Risu-
Risu: Ah! –drops keys into Twitchy's foot-
Twitchy: Ow (bleep!)
Risu: -slaps him-
Twitchy: Ow… grr…
Risu: -pats head- Good boy.
Twitchy: … bark.
Risu: -laughs- Hey, you have a dare.
Twitchy: Actually, it's a truth.
Risu: Oh? –reads- Nice to the cast? That would never happen… ever…
Ganon: Dang it! –appears in front of Risu and points- YOU NEVER PAY US!!!
Risu: That's beside the point. You're now a circus freak.
Ganon: … Circus freak? –whines-
Risu: That's right. A comedial performer. You're our personal slave and will do what we say for the general public's entertainment.
Dark Link: That's a load of-
Twitchy: You too!
Dark Link: -shuts up-
Twitchy: -makes a hand motion-
Risu: -responds-
Dark Link: … What are you guys saying?
Twitchy & Risu: -continue signaling each other-
Dark Link: Grr… -reads paper- No… that's the only thing I have in common with that gay bastard.
Twitchy: I thought you were gay and he was straight.
Ganon: Huh, I remember both of them being gay.
Ruto: Or maybe Fierce Deity is straight, Dark Link is gay and Link is bi.
Link:… I'm going back to my emo-corner…
Twitchy: Time for dares! –pulls rope, bell sounds and large doors open-
Ganon: Oh shi-
-ancients from final fantasy begin attacking all of cast, and Twitchy and Risu seem to be ignored-
Twitchy: It's fun being the writer.
Risu: It's also fun being the director.
Twitchy: I'm the director. You're the co-director.
Risu: Whatever… Oohh, deathnotes.
Twitchy: Thanks.
Hero of Creation: No prob.
Twitchy: -grabs ink pen- Oh God… um… -writes down Ganon-
Ganon: -walks towards Twitchy- Hey uh, boss? Can I-
-light falls from ceiling and crashes on Ganon's head-
Twitchy: Hey, they do work!
Risu: -looks down from catwalk- My bad!
Twitchy: … I didn't write that in but okay.
Risu: -writes for Vaati-
Vaati: -walks to catwalk- Hey Risu, give me some skin man! –holds hand up-
Risu: -writes more-
Vaati: -bar falls from ceiling on one end and swings over to hit Vaati's hand, making him stumble over the rail of the catwalk and fall on Belum-
Twitchy: This is so cool! Risu, let me do Tingle!
Risu: Fine!
Twitchy: -writes for Tingle-
OUTSIDE
Tingle: -balloon activates- Wha? No! Turn off! –goes ½ of a mile high- Oh no- -is hit by a plane propeller-
Twitchy: -looks up- EPIC!
Navi: Hey! –flies and lands on stump next to Twitchy- What about-
Twitchy: -slams hammer on Navi, then uses a blowtorch and finally throws the stump in a garbage disposal truck and activates it- I didn't have to write that now did I?
Risu: I did!
Twitchy: Oh sure, ruin my creativity why don't you?!
Risu: Sure.
Link: Whoa! –dodges Dark Link's sudden attack-
Dark Link: Die!!! –swings again-
Link: Ruto, I love you! –hides from both Dark Link and Ruto-
Ruto: -runs in front of Dark Link- Link I-
Dark Link: SHUT UP!!! –cuts her vertically in half-
Twitchy: -drops pop-tart he was previously munching on- Holy (bleep!)
Risu: Hey, you have a request.
Twitchy: Really? On screen!
ALLOW MY ARMIES I USE TO DESTROY MY ENEMIES IN MY BOOK I'M WRITING TO KILL THEM ALL. EXCEPT FOR RISU.
Twitchy: Aw, you have an admirer.
Risu: -punches him-
Twitchy: Ow… by all means "Hero," go ahead.
Hero of Creation: Charge! –army charges towards cast-
Ganon: Never surren- -pike impales chest- Son of a (bleep!) –drops dead-
Link: -pulls out bow and aims at enemies attacking Malon- I will save her, and she will be my bestest friend for- -is whacked by hilt of a sword, then fires arrow and accidentally hits Malon-
Twitchy: Epic fail!
ok
Link:i dare u 2 propose 2 ruto
Ruot:since this will probably kill u i dare u 2 reject Link then u must propose 2 ganondorf
Ganondorf:i dare u 2 accept & no divorices eva
Master Sword 41
Link: Ruto…
Twitchy: Oh my God he's doing it! –yanks out hair-
Risu: She'll reject him. And quit that, you don't look good bald.
Link: Will you… marry me? –holds out ring-
Ruto: No.
Audience: -gasps-
Twitchy: Ouch that's cold!
Ruto: I'm going to marry Ganon…
Ganon: -slurps in spaghetti with his sudden intake of breath-
Ruto: And we're going to be happy together. Good bye Link.
Link: -begins crying- Wait, why am I crying? –fangirls rush to him- I got these girls after all.
Twitchy: Oh my God, he's a womanizer and I didn't even know it!
Ruto: Ganon, will you marry me?
Ganon: -eyes Ruto as spaghetti hangs from inside his mouth- Hmm… sure. I accept!
Ruto: Ya- -is sawed in half by Ganon's sword-
Twitchy: You broke the Law of Truth and Dare!
Ganon: No I didn't! The dare said to "accept & no divorcies eva." It never said I couldn't kill her.
Risu: That's beside the point.
Ganon: No, that's on the-
Risu: -kicks Ganon's groin-
Ganon: -doubles over- You win…
Risu: Mm Hmm…
Twitchy: Ain't that the truth of it all?
Okay, this looks pretty good.
Midna: Marry Link forever.
Link: Have some "fun" with your new wife.
Zant: Chug as many beers as you possibly can, then run into the middle of an NFL game while naked.
Ganondorf: Destroy the sword you had in Twilight Princess.
Zelda: Why can't you ever do anything useful?
Saria: How old are you?
Malon: I am now going to use my shotgun and kill Epona in front of you. You are not going to do anything if you want to live.
Darunia: Use holy hand grenades on Vaati, Ganondorf, and Navi.
Tingle: Float as high as you possibly can on your balloon.
Risu: Pop his balloon when he reaches maximum height.
Ruto: You need to be tied to a pole while everyone throws a random assortment of food and sharp objects at you.
Midna: Tear off either Riku's or Emo's leg and use it to beat them senseless with it.
Well I guess that's all for now. This is pretty good.
Super Dragon
Midna: Yay! –glomps Link-
Link: (bleep!) What the (bleep!)
Twitchy: Okay, kinky material, go!
Link: Yes! –goes into bedroom with Midna and locks door-
Midna: -screams-
Twitchy: Whoa! Wrong! Ew!
Risu: -strokes Twitchy's cheek-
Twitchy: Ah no!
Risu: -laughs-
Zant: Yeah boy! –begins chugging beers-
Twitchy: Epic fail…
Zant: Seven!
Risu: Geez, that's gross.
Zant: Twenty four!
Twitchy: I wish I could drink beer!
Risu: -slaps him-
Twitchy: Ow!
Risu: -hugs him-
Twitchy: (No expression) … you can get off now…
Risu: No…
Zant: -begins to strip in hallway-
Twitchy: Oh my god, create a blur!
-the sun creates a light over Zant, making him visible but invisible-
Twitchy: Hey it worked…
Zant: Yeah!
Football player #24: Yargh! –tackles Zant-
Audience: Oh!
Risu: That's just weird…
Twitchy: Ain't that the truth?
Ganon: You act this sword is important to me. Ha! –shoots magic at sword, and sword doesn't break- Huh?
Risu: There's a reason it's dare for you: It won't really break…
Ganon: Grr… -uses every spell available and can't break the sword- I can't do it.
Twitchy: Here… -squeezes the hilt and the sword shatters-
Ganon: … What the-?
Zelda: I can't do anything useful because I'm always locked in a castle.
Twitchy: Last I checked, you could use magic to escape.
Zelda: Well, Miyamoto made me useless!
Risu: We still love you!
Zelda: Really?
Risu: …no! –uses alchemy to make a spike launch from the floor and into Zelda-
Twitchy: Yay!
Saria: I'm 34 year old.
Twitchy: Really?
Risu: You're still mine…
Twitchy: … Really?
Risu: -glomps Twitchy-
Twitchy: Grr… -hands Super Dragon his shotgun-
Super Dragon: Yes! –aims at Epona-
Malon: No! –guards Epona-
Hero of Creation: -shoots Malon, and the bullets also hit Epona-
Twitchy: Hey, we got a clairvoyant! Kick… -looks at a glaring Risu- butt…
Risu: Good boy. –shoves cookie in Twitchy's mouth-
Twitchy: …
Midna: Aw yeah! –grabs Twitchy's leg-
Twitchy: Huh OH MY GOD! AH! MY LEG!!! OH DEAR GOD!!!! OW! STOP IT! MAKE IT STOP! OH JESUS DELIVER ME!!! BLEGH!!! –WHEEZES, THEN DIES-
I'm officially laughing really hard, especially after reading my submission from a long time ago. ^^; Blue carrot launchers STILL rule!
I only have one truth and dare this time, so let us torture-- err, *cough* have fun with these characters, no?
Aryll (T): If you got your hands on the Triforce of Power, what would you do with it? Is it true that you will establish an evil army of seagulls and dominate the world?
Four Sword Links (D): Do a quartet (like in old style barber shops) in front of the entire populace of Hyrule Castle Town, including King Daphnes.
Dreamnorn
Aryll: Yes! Yes I would! I would love that!
Twitchy: Too bad I have it…
Aryll: No! Mine!
Twitchy: -lights her on fire- SHUT UP!
Risu: You're so mean!
Twitchy: Oh well. –places finger on top of Aryll's head to hold her still, then punts her through a window-
Four Links: One two three go!
(-THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM WAS NOT CREATED OR IS OWNED BY ME. THE ARTIST IS THE TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA, AND THE SONG IS MIDNIGHT. I AM NOT AFFILIATED WITH TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA OR THEIR ALLIES IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM-)
Green: And in the dark, he sits alone,
Blue: And all have long since,
Blue& Red: Lost their,
B, R &Purple: Meaning! –hold half note-
(PLEASE LOOK AT SONG FOR REST. YOU'LL GET THE IMAGE IF YOU LISTEN TO IT! SORRY!
Daphnes: You crazy kids! –grabs scepter-
Four Links: Holy (bleep!) Run away!
Twitchy: … Well that was short lived…
Man, it feels like it's been forever since I've sent any dares in instead of writing that new chapter. I need a break. And...HOORAY! This is back! *happy dance*
Twitchy and Risu: Draw up a contract in which my OC, Batter the Waffle, will be the star in a movie. (Don't tell him, but the movie is going to involve him being eaten in every scene. Also, he isn't the star, he's just an extra. PISS HIM OFF!)
Malon: I dare you to sell every horse you currently own to a glue factory.
Twitchy and Risu (again): I dare you both to fight me and my other OC, Xalin, in a 2-on-2 deathmatch. Xalin is really, really into anything sharp, and I'm into using my god-like Author Powers. (You should probably tone those down, or something.)
Link: I dare you to run for your life. *releases an Indiana Jones style rolling boulder trap*
All girls: I dare you all to have a MASSIVE CATFIGHT! *gets a filming crew*
Dark Link: I dare you to roleplay as James Bond with a harem of Gerudo thieves as your leading ladies. Also, Ganondorf has to play Dr. No.
Keybladeboy
Twitchy: Batter the Waffle?
Risu: Who the Hell?
Batter: Sup guys?
Twitchy: …
Risu: …
Link: Squishy! –glomps Batter-
Batter: Geroff!
Link: Oh my God, real waffle! –chomp!-
Batter: AH! GET OFF!
Link: (mouth full) But you taste so good!
Risu: That's what she said.
Twitchy: -slaps own face-
Malon: But I don't want to do that! I love my horses.
Twitchy: You will obey the Law of Truth and Dare!
Malon: But… but…
Twitchy: Do it! –grabs shotgun-
Malon: WHAA!! –begins filling out contract-
Twitchy: Oh it's good being me…
Dark Link: Now you two have to fight the weird author guy and his OC.
Twitchy: I'm ready! Bring-
Xalin: -SHING!-
Twitchy: … it. –splits in half- -Twitchy the Pyro has left the game-
Keybladeboy: Ha! Easy!
Xalin: Shut up…
Keybladeboy: Oh Xalin…
Risu: -transmutes javelin from the ground and throws it at Keybladeboy, who dodges narrowly-
Xalin: …
Keybladeboy: Xalin! Do something! –continues dodging mass-produced flying spears-
Xalin: Nope, you're on your own. –Xalin has left the game-
Keybladeboy: Huh? Aw (bleep!). –is it by spear- -Keybladeboy has left the game-
Twitchy: -Twitchy the Pyro has reentered the game- Oh my gosh I'm alive! Wait. You won? –looks at Risu-
Link: -hugs Twitchy- Yeah she did.
Twitchy: -eyes Link- Who you think you is?
Link: Uh…
Twitchy: I'm the pyroboy (bleep!)! And from the words of Keybladeboy… run for your life.
Link: huh? –sees oncoming boulder- Oh crap! –begins to run- Oh God oh God oh God oh my God! –dives into turn, and boulder rolls down original path- Whew. Little Resident Evil moment… Oh my God giant spider! NO! AHH! RAPE!!!! AH HA HAA!! OOH! AAAAHHH!!
Twitchy: -shoots Link- SHUT UP!
Zelda: Saria, I just want to let you know that Link is mine!
Saria: Uh-uh! He's been mine since we were kids.
Malon: You still are a kid!
Zelda: Stay out of this you peasant girl!
Malon: Excuse me? –grabs pitchfork-
Saria: -rips branch off of tree- Bring it girls! –whacks Zelda-
Malon: -stabs Saria's foot-
Saria: -reflexively bitchslaps Malon across the face-
Twitchy: This is hot!
Dark Link: No (bleep!) man…
Twitchy: … are you high?
Dark Link: Why?
Twitchy: … Dark…
Dark Link: … Shh…!
Twitchy: Uh huh… Oh my God, you have a dare!
Dark Link: -reads review- Hell yeah man! –puts on shades and tux- Well?
Twitchy: -punches shades- Lose the shades…
Dark Link: The name's Link… Dark Link…
Twitchy: -slaps own head… again-
Ganon: -reads script- I don't get it… I can't find my lines. No, I don't see them… Blargh! –is shot by Dark Link multiple times-
Dark Link: Ha! Pwned (bleep!)! I win! Oh, T-bag, T-bag!
Ganon: -kicks Dark Link- Get the (bleep!) off me!
YAY! Now...*sinister laugh of EVIL* it's time fo' some real dares!
(D) Risu-I dare you...hm...tie Twitchy to a chair and make him watch you put out a fire.
(T) Twitchy-Yeah, right. I bet you think about doing THAT to Risu ALL the time, buddy. AND I DARE YOU TO ADMIT IT! And, if you don't, rabid-fangirl pit for you. And you also have to have the blood of the most famous of anime characters on you, if you don't admit it. HAHAHAHAHHAHA!
(T) I just want to know. Link, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU A PANSY?! I mean, every game I see you in, except for the beginning of TP, your in A FREAKIN DRESS!
(T) Link can't reproduce? Weird. Anyways, Zelda, if you had to choose, would you rather have your uteruses ripped out or have a zombie baby claw its way out of your belleh? The answer will then proceed.
(D) I dare the Din to burn Twitchy. I wanna see if he likes it...
AND, ULTIMATE DARE TIME!-Ruto and Navi have to be given the following, then locked in a closet full of Drugged gerudo guards-The following given to the two insane people-Ecstasy, alchohol, viagra, fish sticks, pixie-on-a-stick, and a whopping pound of speed.
And, last question, WHAT IS ALL OF YOUR PREFERABLE MUSIC?! I just asking...Link seems like a 'Dope' kind of guy...
Heaven's Blade Hell's Gauntlet
Risu: Hey Twitchy…
Twitchy: What?
Risu: Happy Valentine's Day! –points to fire-
Twitchy: Oh my- -is whacked in the head by Risu, then tied to a chair- Ow… wait, what are you doing?
Risu: -evil grin, holds pitcher of water above fire-
Twitchy: No! Not the fire! What did he ever do to you? No!!!
Risu: -slowly pours water on fire-
Twitchy: -begins to spaz in chair- No! Stop! Oh God stop! Make it stop! –twitches wildly- No no no NNOO!!!! Blebebebebebeb….. ugh…
Risu: -dumps water completely on fire-
-death groans, then drools-
Link: Oh my God you friggin killed him man! On Valentine's Day!
Risu: He'll wake up. Oh, he'll love this… -hangs paper in front of Twitchy's face-
Twitchy: … uh? –reads paper- Okay, for the last (bleep!)ing time, I don't even think about that for anyone. I'll admit that I'll be tempted for a few seconds every other day, but that's as far as I'll go. I speak the truth!
Ganon & Link: FANGIRL PITTT!!!! –pushes Twitchy in-
Twitchy: Betrayal! –burns fangirls, then climbs out- Grr…
Ganon & Link: -awestruck expression-
Link: -girly scream as Twitchy chases him with a shotgun-
Risu: Which brings us to the next question. Link.
Link: I'm a pansy because I'm under appreciated as a hero… you guys lowered my self-esteem. And it's not a dress, it's a tunic for Din's sake!
Twitchy: It's a dress.
Link: Shut up no it's not!
Twitchy: Moving on. Zelda, choose one: ripped out fetus or zombie child?
Zelda: Fetus ripped, no contest.
Twitchy: Hmm… Hunter!
Zelda: Huh?
-hunter from Left 4 Dead appears and begins clawing away at Zelda-
Zelda: Ow! Get, get it off! Get off me!
Risu: That's what she-
Twitchy: -tackles Risu- Quiet!
Ganon: -turns to Link- Okay, while they're having a lover's quarrel, let's summon Din for the next dare.
Link: Ooh, yes!
Ganon: Oh Din! I summon you to cast down your wrath upon this sinner!
D. Link: Preach brother!
Ganon: And I request that you recognize those in-
Zelda: Give it a rest and burn him!
Ganon: Right! –blows random trumpet-
-A STAR APPEARS FROM OUT OF THE SKY, ONLY TO BE RECOGNIZED AS A BRIGHT FLAMING BIRD, AND IT FLIES STRAIGHT TOWARDS TWITCHY. IT EVENTUALLY BURNS TWITCHY-
Twitchy: Oh my God! So warm! Aw… This feels so good! BRING THE PAIN MAN! BRING IT ALL ON!!!
Ganon: I think he's insane…
Link: No (bleep)ing duh.
Twitchy: -comes out in newly-burned suit- Hello. It is now time for Ultimate Dare Time, with me as your host, Twitchy the Pyro. And now, it would appear that we have a challenge before us. We must give Ruto and Navi the following items and throw them in a closet filled with drugged Gerudos. But due to time issues, I'll fast forward to the results Oh dear Din explicit material! Bob, abort!
Bob: I'm trying!!!
Twitchy: Go back to the original program!
Bob: Got it!
Twitchy: Okay… whew…
Risu: What is all your preferable music? Lightning round, go! Techno!
Twitchy: Heavy metal.
Ganon: Death metal.
Ruto: Dance.
Navi: Orchestral.
Twitchy: ew…
Navi: Shut up.
Malon: Country.
Zelda: Orchestral.
Twitchy: You all suck!
Risu: Hey!
Twitchy: You're cool.
Twitchy: That was fun… -collapses as soon as he enters front door- Well guys, I'm glad you read this. Stay tuned and please submit dares ASAP so I don't get late entries. And Hero of Creation asked for Risu's fics. You can find them under the author name of ChouAoi. Thanks again! I understand that I haven't published everyone's dares, and I apologize and have made a note so that I can put them in later chapters.
