Two weeks passed and Hephaistion did not see Alexander, except for on the training ground, where Alexander was polite if distant with him.
Hephaistion longed to have the opportunity to make things right between them, to try to make Alexander see that his feelings had not changed, to see why things had to be this way, at least for now. Yet how could he heal the rift between them when there was never a chance to be alone, they never had the chance to talk, someone was always close by. Then what would he say? What could he say? To admit that he was miserable with Pelagia would get them nowhere, they were still in Pella where gossip was rife, with people in the court eager to fawn to Philip, to bring him any information where they could win favour.
Alexander did not realise that he spent his nights alone, Pelagia would go to her rooms and sit with Aspasia and sew, laughing at something the old nurse said. Her laughter carried through the house and Hephaistion often imagined it was the fates that were laughing at him, he had been taught a lesson Aristotle had not thought of, that you can not always have what you wish for, that you should not always assume that things will stay the same.
As for his marriage, he felt that he had tried, he had been the only one to try. One night he had dismissed the nurse so that he could sit by Pelagia's side to attempt to talk to her, but they had only quarrelled. She said she missed her family, that marriage to him had meant their loss.
Despite Alexander's remoteness, Hephaistion looked forward to being close to him, perhaps one day he would know the truth and then perhaps they would find time to be together once more. This had become Hephaistion's prayer.
0000
After a morning's exercise on the training ground where his mare had gone badly lame, and time spent at the gymnasium with Nikias where he had managed to beat him at wrestling, Hephaistion returned to the house to find Aspasia and Phokas sitting in the courtyard, almost as if they were waiting for him. Phokas nudged his aunt and she got to her feet and came over to him, she seemed agitated and looked back to her nephew. Hephaistion thought Pelagia might have argued with her nurse, it had happened a couple of times before, his wife appeared to love the drama of a quarrel.
"Where is Pelagia?"
"She is resting," Aspasia replied, still looking as if she had more to say.
Hephaistion decided not to ask, he simply nodded his understanding. "Fetch me some broth if you still have some, bread if you have that too and some wine," he said. He looked to Phokas. "I wish to bathe, let me know when the bath is ready."
Aspasia had not moved, she looked back to Phokas once more, then back to him.
"Master, there is something you should know. Pelagia...she is with child."
Hephaistion felt as though the breath had been knocked from his body. He was going to be a father, he had not thought it would happen so soon, if ever. He could not help but think this sealed the marriage, this tied him to her. For a moment he thought of Philip and Olympias, of their battles over Alexander. They would be like that. "You must be mistaken," he breathed.
Aspasia shook her head. "Her mother was the same, the girls are fertile, touch them once and they will give you a child." She smiled at him, she was judging his reaction, she clasped her hands together and then frowned. "These early stages, she is best not to get upset, best you give her what she needs," she advised.
"I will," Hephaistion replied, feeling dazed by the news, not sure of his emotions. He stepped away from the woman and made his way to Pelagia's rooms. He tried to imagine himself with a child and smiled to think that he might have a son, thinking of how he could raise him to be a soldier. A daughter he could love as well, though the likes of Ptolemy had better keep away. Pelagia could not object to him spending time with his own child. His footsteps faltered as he thought of Pelagia's resemblance to Olympias, of her wilfulness and moods, he wondered if Philip had ever felt as he did now, if the king had any idea how harsh this punishment would be.
He knocked on Pelagia's door then opened it, waking her.
"I'm sorry to disturb you," he said, entering the room and walking over to sit upon the bed. "Aspasia just told me...about the baby."
Pelagia moaned softly at being woken, she wiped her eyes and turned towards him, her gown wrapping tight around her waist, there was no sign of a child. Not yet.
"That is why I have been unwell," she said, tearfully. "If I had known...I want my mother here, Hephaistion." She wiped the sleep from her eyes again and sat up a moment before resting her head on a pillow and looking at him.
Hephaistion thought that she looked pale, he reached for her hand, surprised when she let him take it. "Aspasia is here for you, Pelagia. I am here." He fought to find something else to say that would comfort her. "You must rest, if you are unwell."
"I want to go to my mother," Pelagia said, her eyes looking in to his. "I want to go home to Athens."
This demand was too much. Hephaistion shook his head. "Your home is here, Pelagia. It's a foolish idea. We can write and tell your mother and father, perhaps your mother would come here."
"But I want to go to Athens," Pelagia whined, her lips pouting, her eyes filling with tears. "With you, my husband."
Hephaistion sighed, remembering Aspasia said Pelagia was not to get upset and she looked far from calm. "I have no time to take you there, you can not travel alone, not like this. In a few weeks there is the wedding at Aegae, Cleopatra's wedding, then I expect to go to Persia." He took a moment, feeling Pelagia tighten the grip on his hand. The baby might be born while he was away fighting, he wondered when he would see the child.
Pelagia sat up and put her arm around his waist, kissing his shoulder. "I am sure you are not needed at the wedding, it would not take so long. I need you to come with me, to see me safely home at least. If you are away then I would do better with my mother near, when you return, then my father can accompany me back to Pella."
"You have thought it all through," Hephaistion said, laughing softly, brushing back a wayward curl from her forehead. If he had found out anything during his short marriage it was that his wife could not be reasoned with once she had an idea in her head.
"Or I could go alone. Perhaps you will be glad for that....to be rid of me...to have travel unprotected, then for me to stay in Athens."
Placing his hand on her stomach, Hephaistion considered a child of his growing up in Athens, that he would have a child who did not know him. He wondered if she would come back or keep finding excuses to stay.
"You are not needed so badly," Pelagia argued, "I think the wedding will go well enough without you, and if you do not go to Aegae then there will be time enough to come to Athens with me and return." She held him close then placed her hand over his own. "It would mean a lot, I would not worry, I would be better."
Hephaistion sighed. He had a duty to his wife, to his family. "I will have to see the King, I will go to him in the morning and ask for leave."
Pelagia laughed and clapped her hands, then got up from the bed, kissing Hephaistion's brow before she ran to tell Aspasia that they were going home.
00XX00
Alexander had just finished eating breakfast, with his father and Philotas when it was announced that Hephaistion had asked permission to see the King.
His father had agreed, nodding his head as his mouth was full of bread. He picked up his cup of wine and took a gulp of it going back to his conversation, they were planning on going hunting.
Alexander felt uncomfortable but had no excuse to go. He watched as the doors opened and Hephaistion walked in to the room, dressed in his finest, his hair braided back. He looked like Adonis come to life, he always had, and Alexander regretted the gulf between them, all his own doing and he resolved to make it right as soon Hephaistion's business with his father was done.
His father turned to look on Hephaistion, then pushed himself up, limping over to his visitor.
Hephaistion bowed to the King and wished him joy, then looked over to the table and wished the same, looking at Philotas, sitting so comfortably, at his ease, as if all differences were forgotten.
"Well?" Philip snapped. "You wanted to see me?"
Hephaistion looked to Alexander then to the King. "I have come to ask permission for leave, Sire. Only for a few weeks, to take my wife to Athens and see her settled with her family there."
"Not granted," Philip huffed. "If you have problems in your marriage then you work it out but you do not let your wife run for home whenever there is a quarrel."
Alexander lifted his cup to his lips, to stop himself from pointing out his mother was in Epirus.
Hephaistion took a deep breath, again he looked at Alexander before looking to the King. He hesitated before he spoke. "My wife is with child, Sire. I think it best that she goes to stay with her family, I might be in Persia for a long time and it will help to know she and the child are well-cared for."
Philip laughed and slapped Hephaistion on the back. "Now the trouble starts," he laughed again. "Your wife has been begging to go home?" Philip shook his head, then considered his options. "You have to rule the house, Hephaistion, but her father is an influential man, it might do well if you take her back."
Again, Hephaistion looked to Alexander, opening his mouth as if to say something, then closing it as he looked on Philotas.
Alexander could not say how he felt, his emotions were in turmoil. He wanted to wish Hephaistion a son but again the jealousy overwhelmed him as he imagined this man he loved lying close to his wife each night, and he remembered when Hephaistion had promised to love him for eternity. He fought the feelings, better to have a valued friend than nothing at all. He went to say congratulations, to smile and wish him well but the words he planned to say were not the ones to come out of his mouth. "Let him go, Father."
Philip turned his one eye on to his son. "A few weeks ago you would have been arguing that he should stay."
"What is one more soldier in battle?" Philotas asked. "He does not need to come to Persia, there will be good men left behind in Macedon either way."
Thinking for a moment, Philip looked to Philotas and nodded, then turned to Hephaistion. "You should have time enough to get to Athens and watch your wife's belly grow then get back here in time for us to leave. If you need more time then you will be sent to one of the garrisons on your return. Permission granted."
Hephaistion bowed and gave his thanks then looked over at Alexander.
"I found you a good wife, Hephaistion," Philip laughed. "I hear the Carian princess is not so pretty and it is rumoured the family have trouble breeding." He looked at Alexander as he spoke the last, then sat down and held his cup up for a servant to fill.
Philotas laughed at the joke. Alexander looked at Hephaistion and thought again how his mistake had cost him dearly. Yet, Hephaistion seemed to have made the best of it and settled down to married life.
Alexander felt Philotas put his arm around his shoulders and pull him close, just at the moment Hephaistion turned to leave. He brushed Philotas away and watched the love of his life walk out, walk away from him, feeling as though his heart was being cut out of his body.
0000
Alexander found he could not excuse himself from the day's hunting. They went further than they thought they would, tracking down a lion and so they did not return until late afternoon of the second day.
Not even thinking to leave Bucephalus at the stables, Alexander went straight to Hephaistion's house, determined to make things right before he left, to beg him not to accept a garrison posting but to be with him in Persia, just like they had always talked about as boys.
The gates were closed. Alexander leaned down and tried them but they were locked.
"They have gone, Sire," an old man said. "They left this morning for Thermia."
Alexander nodded.
"His wife seemed to want to leave as soon as they could. She's a feisty one that one ,I can't see that he would be happy with her."
Looking to the man for the first time, Alexander noted he was a merchant. "Why do you say that?"
The man pointed to a house across the street. "I live there. I hear enough...and see enough. Like this morning, he wasn't happy that his wife had hired two more men to travel with them, more soldiers than servants if you ask me. She started to cry saying she would not feel safe without them, then the nurse has a go at him saying he was making her Mistress unwell. She dresses like a queen, his wife does, I have friends who say she is their best customer for what she has in finery. No. If they can not be happy in the early days of marriage then they can not be happy at all."
A woman called from inside the merchant's house. He gave a low bow and signalled he best be gone.
Alexander looked up to the house and wondered just what had gone on inside its walls.
