Finding Acceptance
Today, Demetrius went out to fish with Belen. It was not unlike any other day, but they went far out of the barrier and a sudden squall blew up. He was tossed overboard. Belen said they had tried to get to him as quickly as they could, but he had still taken a battering by the waves. As soon as they brought him back to shore, his skin was so pale. And he was so cold, so still. Barely could breath be heard leaving his lips.
My heart nearly stopped as I rushed out to him. Mother and Father were frozen, unable to face the unthinkable. I fell to his side, unable to say anything. It seemed the whole village was there, already mourning. But my heart could not stand the thought. He could not be gone.
I don't know what I did. I only recall hearing sobs and wails, not realizing they were my own. I fell on top of him, the cold from his clothing soaking into my own. The only thought in my mind was that he could not be gone. He's much too young. Especially for our kind.
I felt something. It was as if my hands got suddenly very warm. And then Demetrius started coughing. I looked at him and he smiled up at me. There were gasps as he sat up and took my face in his hands.
"You saved me, Athanasia… you brought me back," he had said. I looked down at my hands and back up at him. I didn't think that I had done anything. I had just kept thinking that I didn't want him to be dead. I didn't want to lose him.
I still don't understand how I did what I did. The village elders asked me many questions, but I could not answer them. All I know is that I did not want my brother to die.
I do not understand why I am having these dreams. Every night, when I close my eyes, I am someplace else. And I see my great-grandmother. A very wise women… and it is so good to speak with her again. But I cannot understand why I dream of her. Why now? And they tell me that I am not dreaming. That I am speaking with them.
I sometimes feel as though I am losing my mind. Even the elders cannot seem to understand it. No one has had this gift before. They think that I brought my brother back from the edge of death. They believe that I am going to the place of the dead in my dreams.
But how? Why? Why would the gods and goddesses see fit to give me this gift? What am I to do with it? I am no one special. Just… another of our kind. I wanted to have a gift, but by Athena, I am not sure if I want this one.
Today I healed again. My mother cut herself while preparing our evening meal and it was deep with much too much blood. I rushed to her side as she struggled not to cry. It was as if something took over my body as I put my hand over the cut and closed my eyes. All I saw was the wound healing - the skin knitting itself back together. The blood stopping. I felt my hands grow warm, much like they did with my brother. And then, it was done.
I opened my eyes and there was no mark on her skin, just the remnants of blood. She quickly cleaned it up and smiled at me, telling me that I have such a great gift and what it will mean to the world to share it with them.
I do not wish to go out into the world anymore. I still do not understand the things that I can do. I do not understand why I must go to the place of the dead every night. Why those who have left this world are so eager to speak with me. The elders say there are a great many lessons I can learn from them, from the past, but it is such a cold, lonely place. It frightens me.
Many in the village now seek me out for healing. Every day, more people stop by our home with various ails, beseeching me to heal them. I worry each time that I cannot do what they ask of me. But yet, each time, I just close my eyes and think nothing but the person being whole and well. And it happens.
But it is quite tiring. I often must lie down for awhile after the last person has left. Mother tells me it is like any gift our kind has. It takes strength. But the more we practice, the stronger we become. And after some time I will not tire as easily. But I should still be careful of how much I use my gift at once. I do not want to be rendered helpless at an inopportune time.
So each day I continue to push myself. Use it a bit more than the day before in the hopes that it will build my strength. One benefit is that I am often too tired to go to the place of the dead in my dreams. I have not been there in weeks. Not since I started healing every day. It is a gift not to go, but at the same time, I cannot help but feel there is something there that I must see. There is something there that keeps drawing my thoughts.
I feel as though the weight that had fallen upon me since the day I healed my brother has been lifted.
Today, a young child in the village was killed in an accident. They brought her to me, thinking I could heal her, but she was already gone. I felt helpless for a moment, watching as her parents wept before me, imploring the gods and goddesses to bring her back. It broke my heart, for I too understand the pain of losing someone. However I brought my brother back.
In that moment, I felt there must be something that I can do. I had to try. And I knew that I had to go beyond the veil. So I closed my eyes and went there. It was surprising how easy it was. I had spent so long not wanting to go there, but this was to save an innocent, so I knew I must go. My great-grandmother welcomed me, so happy to see me after such a long absence. And I asked her if there was anything I could do for this little one. This innocent who left the living far too soon.
It was then I saw the little one at her side, eyes wide. She wanted to go back to her parents. My great-grandmother said that I was blessed by Hades. That only I could come to the place of the dead and return. And that only I could take others back with me. I took the girl's hand and together we returned through the veil.
There was rejoicing when we returned. And I could see the happiness in the faces of the family. It was then I realized that I could not ignore these parts of my gift. That I must use them to help others.
I did not want this gift, but the gods and goddesses have given it to me and I have accepted it. What lies ahead for me, I am not sure. But I will use this gift to help others.
Daisy sat back from her desk and looked out over the ocean, her mind whirling with everything. Athanasia was able to go beyond the veil at will after a simple acceptance of her gifts. She frowned slightly, feeling her frustration churn. Hadn't she accepted that these were her gifts already?
"You're at your best when you're not stuck in your head over-analyzing everything, Pix."
"I know," she growled to herself. "But it's not that easy…" Sighing, she pushed up from the desk and began pacing around her room. It was obvious that she wasn't going to relax any time soon.
"Daisy! Visitors!" she heard her mother call up the stairs. Daisy sighed and made her way to the first floor, stopping when she saw Lena and Calantha standing there. Nikos had said the elders hardly left their homes, so she was shocked to see the two elderly women there.
"Come, young Daisy. It is so nice outside. Let us sit on the terrace," Calantha said with a smile as she held her hand out. Daisy took it, silently helping her outside while Lena followed, her blue eyes trained on the young woman.
"I suppose you are wondering why we are here," Calantha said once they were all situated. Daisy nodded.
"You are struggling," Lena said simply.
"Story of my life," Daisy muttered.
"You struggled before," Calantha said.
"I know and I'm stuck in my head," Daisy groaned. She looked over at the two women who were silently watching her. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be taking this out on you."
"Do not apologize, Daisy. We know that this is not easy for you," Lena said.
"It wasn't easy for Athanasia either. In her journal, she wondered a lot about why she was given this gift and what she was meant to do with it," Daisy said.
"And what was it that finally allowed her to use her full power?" Lena asked.
"She, well, she realized that she was meant to help others with it," Daisy said, frowning.
"Is it not the same for you?" Lena asked.
"I want to use it to help my family. We've lost so many and I know that they would want to see them again," she said softly. The two women studied her. "And… if it comes to a fight, there is the chance we could lose more. I don't want that to happen. I know I'll need to bring them back."
"And you worry that when the time comes, you will not be able to do this again," Calantha said. Daisy nodded.
"But you have done this before. You know that you can," Lena said. "You must not allow this fear to hold you. You must not let this pressure stem your power."
"But how do I know for sure? What if, what if I lose someone close to me. Someone I love. And I can't bring them back?" Daisy said softly, tears pricking at her eyes. She knew deep down that was her ultimate fear. That she'd never figure it out. Calantha smiled and reached across the table for Daisy's hand.
"You must not let this fear have power over you, small one," she said. Daisy hesitantly reached out, accepting the older woman's gnarled hand.
She gasped as she was no longer sitting on the terrace, but standing in a field. Daisy watched herself lie down on the ground next to a row of bodies and close her eyes. Then suddenly she was beyond the veil, searching. Her face set in determination. The scene changed again as she smiled in relief and walked towards someone, her mouth moving.
Then suddenly, she was back on the terrace, looking over at a smiling Calantha.
"See? You will be able to do this when the time comes," she said, pulling her hand back.
"Was that the future?" Daisy asked. "Who am I going after?"
"That I cannot tell you. But you saw what you were supposed to see," Calantha said. Daisy nodded, her mind churning again. The two old women then stood.
"We must be off. But relax, Daisy," Lena said. "You have always had confidence in your abilities. It is still in you. You will find it again." They then made their way back into the house. Daisy sighed and looked out at the sea again. After a few moments of contemplation, she stood and went back up to her room, thinking over what Calantha had showed her.
Someday she was going to use her gift. For someone she knew and was close with. Shaking her head, she began pacing around the room. Her mind started wandering.
She thought about being on the pitch. God, she was starting to miss it even though it hadn't even been two weeks yet. She missed the breeze blowing through her hair. The rush she got when she saw the snitch and went for it. The joy of landing a trick. Daisy couldn't think of a moment on the pitch when she was afraid. It all just came to her naturally.
She then thought to that moment in the Death Chamber. When Alan died and she realized that she would be the one to bring him back. It felt the same as when she was on the pitch. She just knew that she could do it. And once she decided that, there was no fear.
Daisy stopped pacing as everything fell into place.
She could do this. It was in her blood.
Suddenly, the veil appeared before her in the room. Daisy's eyes widened as a smile started to spread across her face. She took a deep breath and stepped through.
On the other side, Athanasia, Lily, James and Fred were standing there smiling.
"You've figured it out," Athanasia said softly. Daisy laughed and nearly started jumping up and down.
"I don't know why it took me this long. I just… I just realized that I've always been able to do it," she said as she took turns hugging her relatives and then finally wrapping her arms around Athanasia.
"We didn't doubt you for a moment," Lily said. Daisy looked at Athanasia.
"How can I take them with me? To visit, that is," she asked.
"You just take their hands and step back through. They will stay as long as you have strength," Athanasia said. Daisy nodded and smiled, looking over at her family.
"I can take you to see them," she said, happy tears filling her eyes.
"Daisy, you must hear this," Athanasia said, grabbing Daisy's attention again. "This is a great gift. You must be careful. You lose a bit of yourself with every soul that you return to the land of the living." Daisy frowned.
"Is that why you didn't use it that often?" she asked. Athanasia nodded.
"You have great responsibility. There will be some who do not want to return to the land of the living. You must respect their wishes," she said softly. Daisy frowned slightly.
"I understand," she replied.
"And more than that, do not forget to live," Athanasia said, smiling. Daisy nodded, glancing over at Fred, who was grinning.
"I won't," she said.
"Good luck, Daisy."
I had been struggling with this chapter - it was hard to figure out what would be Athanasia's key to controlling her magic and therefore Daisy. But I think I finally found it. And then, it was as if the floodgates opened and I somehow figured out the rest of the story. I've got several more chapters written and they are coming fairly easily now. Granted, there are some upcoming chapters that I know are going to be hard just because I need to figure out details even though I've already gotten the basic plot worked out.
I think I'll be able to go back to posting every other day and soon every day. Which I'm sure you guys will enjoy.
Things start picking up from here out. I've realized that I've spent a long time with these first 12 chapter taking place over a span of 2 weeks. From here out, we start going a bit more quickly through the timeline. The next five chapters cover about a month and then we skip ahead another month in the chapter after that.
And I've got a couple of oneshots in mind - namely one with Roxanne and Christos. I haven't had much time to talk about their relationship in the book, so looking into that. And maybe one with Alan and Bridget.
AleenaBean - I was quite proud of that conversation with Fred. The fun thing about Daisy's gift is now I can bring back some characters who died and have them interact with all the new generation. ^_^ This whole book has been fun in that I get to bring in folks who haven't had much time in the previous books. Getting to a bit with Albus and Lily soon in the wedding chapter. Thinking about possibly having Neville and Hannah in there as well.
cjconner326 - Sorry I missed this with the last chapter! And you were right. I just needed to relax and it finally all came to me. ^_^
As always, thanks for reading, following and reviewing!
