Where Courage Ignites

20. The Final Entry

March 24, 2018

I had my face glued to the cool window, watching as the mile markers on the side of the highway gradually counted down lower and lower. We were about ten miles outside of town when I felt my body overflowing with excitement. In an effort to release some of the energy, I squealed and my leg anxiously started bouncing against Troy's.

"You okay?" Troy asked, pressing his hand down on my knee that was rubbing against his.

I whipped my head back around to look at him and yelled, "I'm better than okay. I'm better than ever!" I called over Isabella to my parents in the front row, "How much longer until we arrive?"

My mother snapped back, "We get there when we get there!"

My father said, "She means eight minutes, honey!"

I huffed impatiently and sat back against Troy. "Only eight minutes!"

"Yay," he said through a yawn, still drowsy from his motion sickness medication.

"I can't believe we're this close to heaven," I said, curling up into Troy's side while he leaned against his window.

I forced myself to wait until my father slowed the van to sit up again. Once I felt the turn onto the lakeside road, I immediately shot up, nearly colliding my head with Troy's chin. I gasped and looked out the window to the scene outside. My excitement quickly sizzled into fear once I realized that the water had severely risen in the years since we left Minnesota.

"It doesn't look good, Gabriella," My father said as he put the van into park.

I crawled up a row to the doors and swung it open, my knees nearly giving out when I jumped out and saw my flooded childhood home. I stepped onto the lawn as far as I could go until my shoes sunk into the soaking grass. I looked on in dismay at the vacant, destroyed property. I heard someone approaching behind me, "It's gone," I cried. "It's all gone."

My father's strong hand gripped onto my shoulder and he spoke, "Some things we have to let go of, or we'll drown with it."

I couldn't shake off his words, even long after we had settled in the bedroom of the little cabin we rented. I was lying on the bed next to Isabella, staring up at the sliver of light on the ceiling in from the gap in the curtains. I glanced over to the shadows where I knew Troy was sleeping on the couch. As quietly as I could, I crawled out of the sheets and snuck over to him.

I gently laid my hand on his chest and he suddenly sucked in a breath. "Wha-?" He began saying, but I shushed him. He whispered to me, "What's wrong?"

"I can't sleep," I said, kneeling down near his head.

He turned onto his side, propped himself onto his elbow, and reached out to run his knuckles down the side of my face. "What's on your mind?"

I instinctively turned my head towards his touch, savoring the contact. I sighed, "It was something my father said earlier when we found the old house. He said that I have to let it go or else I'd drown with it."

"He means that it's unhealthy to dwell on the past."

"I know. It made me wonder…what else could I be holding onto? What else is drowning me?" When someone stirred in their sleep, I twisted my head around towards the noise. After no one got up, I looked back to the shadow Troy lurked in and said, "I'm thinking about Anthony."

The moment his name entered the air between us, Troy dropped his hand from my face and felt for my hand. He tightly gripped it and said, "Gabby, he can't hurt you anymore."

"I know, but I just can't let go of it," I said, tears prickling my eyes.

"It's all in the past, babe." He blindly went in for a kiss, but it landed on my eyebrow. I silently giggled and guided his hand around the back of my neck. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pushed my forehead towards him until they touched. We stayed there in our own little world with our foreheads pressed against each other's until the light turned on.

We gasped and I immediately jumped away from him as my mother ordered, "Get back in your bed, Gabriella."

"Yes, ma'am." With a red tint to my face, I crawled back into the bed I shared with Isabella.


March 25, 2018

This morning mom, Isabella and I ran into town to pick up some groceries for the week while Troy stayed back with my dad. Dad said that he wanted an early-morning fishing session, but I know he was probably giving him one of those secretive dad talks about dating or whatever they supposedly talk about.

Us girls came back first, so we put the groceries away and started making breakfast. After the guys returned empty handed, they leaned their rods against the outside furniture and hid their tackle boxes in the back of the van. We said our blessing before dishing into the grilled cheese sandwiches and delicious tomato soup.

"Gabby, could you take Isabella out to the you-know-what once you're done?"

Isabella shouted, "Playground!"

"Not until you finish your soup," mom said.

"I not hungry."

"Wait until Gabby's done."

Troy offered, "I can take her out now if you want."

I said, "I'm almost done." I stuffed the last bite of crust in my mouth and slurped down my last bit of soup. I picked up Isabella from her high chair and set her down on the floor. "Let's go play outside!"

She ran up to the screen door and excitedly bounced against the glass. I took her hand in mine and pushed the door open, holding onto her as she tried to run across the gravel road. Once we safely crossed over to the other side, I released my grip. As Isabella rushed ahead to search for toys buried in the sand, I stretched my arms high above my head. I stood on my toes and arched my back, causing my shirt to lift and expose my belly to the ticklish wind.

I heard the pitter patter of someone running up to me from behind and turned to find Troy. "Hey," he said. "You want to play?" He pointed to the yellow tetherball hanging from the pole by a fraying white cord.

"Sure," I said and walked around to the other side of the pole. Troy raised the ball in the air and gave it one good smack. I dove out of the way when it flew into my side and looked up as it kept circling round and round over my head.

"Sorry," Troy said. "You start it this time."

We unwrapped the ball and I smacked it over to him, he let it pass by once before smacking it again at an angle. The ball was circling low on his side, but too far up the pole for me to reach on my side. He hit it again and again until it was completely wrapped around the pole.

He asked, "Should I grab some paper for you take notes since I'm totally schooling you right now?"

"Hey! That's my line! Besides, there's nothing I could do to win since you're taller and an athlete. This game wasn't made for me to win."

Isabella ran up to us and said, "Frog!" She reached out her hand and showed me a tiny brown and green frog sitting in her palm.

Troy crouched down to her and said, "Whoa! Where did you find that?"

"Playground."

"What's his name?"

"It frog."

"Can I hold him?"

Isabella passed the frog into Troy's palm when it leapt out of his hands and onto the grass below. We ran after it as it jumped a foot at a time towards the docks. Our hands were too slow, always cupping the empty grass right after he jumped again. We followed the creature until our toes were submerged in the mushy mud with nowhere else to go besides into the lake.

"I find another," Isabella said, running over to the long bulrushes sticking up from the shallow water.

"She's so sweet."

"Yeah," I said, walking deeper into the muddy water, dragging my hands over the surface of the gentle waves.

The water rippled around where Troy stomped into the lake, going as deep as he could until the water kissed the bottom of his shorts. "We should go swimming later."

"Sure, we have a whole week to squeeze it in." I fought back the urge to fall back into the water and float.

"Gabby," he said. "Come here."

I turned around to find him bent over, his hands disappearing beneath the murky water. "There are minnows in the water."

I bent down to see his hands and a school of tiny, curious fish gathering around them. I slowly submerged my hand into the water as the fish reconfigured to make room for mine. He spread his fingers and slowly moved his hand towards mine until I felt the cold touch and instinctively sucked in a breath. I looked up to him before he dragged his darkening blue eyes to meet mine. His head slowly inched towards me and I closed my eyes, waiting for the moment that our lips would connect. My awkward first kiss lips felt tense against his relaxed, soft peck.

"Turtle!" We heard Isabella's soft voice shout and separated to watch her trot up to us, holding a painted turtle up above her head.

Troy asked, "Is she secretly a Disney princess?"

I giggled, "How else could she have captured these animals?"

This trip has shown me that something strange is happening. Something I find great difficulty in articulating. I want to cleanse myself from what happened, but I don't feel ashamed. I want to embrace my new life, but I'm not afraid to look back. So much has changed, but I haven't. When Mr. Reynolds told me that it was possible to go back to how I was before, I was skeptical. Now I feel like being up here in Minnesota has reintroduced me to her.

These pages document a time when I was violated in the worst way and the many obstacles that followed. I lost sight of who I was. I didn't know who to turn to or how to begin to heal. That girl been captured between your covers, but she's not the girl I'm destined to be any longer.

This evening, my father will build a magnificent bonfire. We'll take turns roasting hotdogs and marshmallows, joking about our lousy fishing and how cold it is. I'll laugh along from beneath Troy's arm, snuggled into his big varsity jacket. As everyone goes back inside, I will linger, taking you out from my purse and approaching the massive blaze. I will cast you into the fire and watch as your cover melts and your pages burn, the fire quickly disintegrating you. The wind will grasp the few remaining, glowing particles and I will look on as they are carried up to join the twinkling stars far above.

THE END


A/N: So much to say, but first and foremost I cannot thank you enough for reading this story and for all the encouragement and support.

I'm not making any promises, but hypothetically, if I were to announce a sequel...I'd publish a sneak peak on the end of this story to alert everyone that the new one is coming out. (Now you know what to look out for, if that ever were to happen.)

Finally, I would like to invite everyone to leave a review. Guest reviews are permitted for those who would like to remain anonymous. Please let me know what you think about this ending and/or the story as a whole. And don't forget to follow me to be notified when my next story comes out. Thank you!


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