Chapter 12

Zatanna opened her eyes to a new day and let out a sigh. She had slept hard after the turmoil of the previous day. Shifting slightly, she noticed that Clark wasn't next to her and wondered where he was. Not wanting to leave the warmth and comfort of the large bed, she pulled the covers up tighter around her and snuggled down into the sweatshirt. A little smile came to her lips, as his scent seemed all around her. Much like chicken soup or toasted cheese sandwiches were comfort food, Zee found his scent a comfort to her. She had always loved this time of the morning, when you have just awoke but don't have to get up right away. The bed always felt just a little more comfortable then it did any other time of day. As she just lay there, letting herself drift back and forth between sleeping and awake, some of the events of yesterday came back to her. The sadness was still there, but now she had a little distance from it. Zatanna knew the memories of the capital would stay with her a long time and somehow she was going to have to come to grips with them. She'd always secretly admired how Bruce could compartmentalize things so well. After going through the horrors of yesterday she began to wonder it that was such a good thing. How could he just turn off his emotions in the face of all that? Certainly, she hadn't handled it well, basically falling apart, but how could it not affect you? How could you just push those feelibngs away? Weren't they eventually going to come out? They weren't automatons, they were humans and it wasn't realistic to think that you could just shut yourself off like that. It made her wonder about her other teammates as well. Certainly they had all been through situations that must have weighted heavy on their emotions, yet they seemed to be unaffected by it all. It made Zatanna wonder again if perhaps she wasn't cut out for this hero business.

She was pulled out of these sobering thoughts by the sound of the bedroom door opening. As she glanced over, she saw Clark carrying a tray into the bedroom.

"Good morning, I thought I heard you waking up in her," he said with a smile. "Feel like eating something?"

"Good morning," Zee said with a smile of her own. "You made breakfast?"

"Nothing fancy, I assure you," Clark chuckled, "just some oatmeal, toast, juice and coffee."

"You didn't have to bring it to me, I'd have come out to the kitchen," she said, sitting up.

"I figured you could use some pampering this morning," he countered, sitting down on the bed and setting the tray up for her.

"Well, thank you," she blushed, smiling at his thoughtfulness, "It looks delicious."

"So how are you doing this morning?"

"A little better," she admitted, picking up a piece of toast. "I sorry about coming here like that last night. I didn't mean to put you out."

"Stop apologizing, Zee, it's okay, really," he assured her.

"Well, thank you again, Clark," she offered, digging into the breakfast.

"If I can't help a damsel in distress what kind of hero would I be," he joked. "You just eat, we can talk about it afterwards, if you want."

"Okay," she softly said and then turned back to the breakfast. Clark just sat with her, drinking a cup of coffee.

Thailand

Nathan and some of the believers were spreading their own special brand of chaos in a small border town. The zeal with which he accomplished it was breathtaking in its brutality. This area had seen border clashes between factions before, but nothing prepared it for the total assault it was under. As Nathan burned and killed his way through the center of town he suddenly found himself face to face with Morgaine le Fey. She hovered above the destruction taking it all in like some dispassionate observer looking at an ant farm.

"Have you come to delay me, witch," he sneered at her.

"You know, chaos is spread better when someone is left to tell the tale, Nathan," she mocked in return.

"We each have our methods," he countered.

"Yours is the momentary which burns out quickly. Much like yourself, I think," Morgaine observed.

"Better to burn out then to fade away, le Fey."

"Quoting Neal Young, Nathan? Really," Morgaine ridiculed.

"Don't tease me, witch," he warned, his hands beginning to glow.

"Your magic isn't going to help you against me, boy," she countered. "I've forgotten more than you'll ever know. I would advise you not to tempt fate."

"Really," he said with a cold smile. Suddenly the buildings on both sides of the street began to shake. As Morgaine moved higher in the air, she watched as each one seemed to literal lift off the ground and then disintegrate right before her eyes. She had to mystically shield herself from the fragments as they flew in all directions. She gazed down at Nathan only to see him just standing there looking at her.

"Still think my magic won't help me, witch," Nathan said with a confident smile.

"You play a dangerous game, Nathan," she warned.

"I'm not playing anything, Morgaine. Now unless you wish to tempt me further, I would suggest you vanish from my sight," he said, his voice deadly serious.

"As you wish," she replied, "we will meet again, boy and the outcome will be different."

"You keep telling yourself that, witch," Nathan said and then turned and headed off to seek out more kills. As she watched him go about his grim business, Morgaine wondered once more if Zod truly knew just what he had aligned himself with in this boy.

Metropolis

Zatanna had finished her breakfast and then related the events of the previous day to Clark. He didn't interrupt, seeing how painful this was for her. She shed a few more tears as she told him about the schoolhouse. Once she started it all seemed to come rushing out, including her fears and worries. When she finished they sat there in silence for several moments.

"I can understand how you must have felt, Zee, no one should have to witness that," Clark began.

"It's just not that, Clark," she shook her head, "I fell apart out there. It was just too overwhelming, too horrible. I don't know if I'm cut out for all this. I can't detach myself from the suffering and the sheer horror like the rest of you."

"Zee, the rest of us feel it too. I know I do," Clark admitted. "You're not the first one of us to feel this way. From what you told me, it sounds like you came face to face with the worst kind of villainy, senseless wanton destruction. All us react in different ways, don't beat yourself up over it."

"You don't understand," Zee said, with tears in her eyes. "I couldn't take it, I crumbled out there. Bruce had to have Jonn transport me out. I was useless!"

"Stop," Clark said firmly, "You tried your best in an impossible situation. You were overwhelmed; we've all been there. It's natural to recoil from horror, Zee, to want to get as far away from it as we can. We're all affected by the sight of innocents suffering, if we weren't we wouldn't be human. Don't let your natural reaction cause you to doubt the value of what you do. My father, Jonathon Kent used to tell me a quote that I've always tried to remember, 'Evil flourishes when good people do nothing.' We can't save everyone, Zee, but each of us has to try or evil wins."

"But how, Clark? How do I just detach myself from all the suffering around me like the rest of you do? Bruce was there yesterday too. You say it's natural to be affected; yet he was able to push passed all the suffering around us without even a hesitation. I crumbed and he just marched right on with the work as if it didn't affect him."

"We all deal with it in different ways, Zee. Wally uses humor to get him through it. Diana and Shayera rely on their training as warriors, just like John does with his military training. I've always thought Bruce gets even more determined the worse things are. He goes deeper into being the Batman, emotionless, cold and grim. It's not the man he is, but that's how he deals with his demons and the horrors he's witnessed. It's why I believe he fights the Joker so hard, harder than any of the other criminals in Gotham. Most of the others have a motive, a purpose behind their criminal acts, money, power, but the Joker is different. Those things are just vehicles for his madness. So you see we've all been where you are, Zee," Clark told her.

"What about you, Clark?" she asked, "you're Superman, you always seem so far about it all."

"I wish, but I have a different problem than the rest," Clark sadly admitted. "With my powers I can shatter planets, fight Gods, but I can't save everyone. There have been times when I've worked weeks on end with no sleep; never taking a break, knowing if I do someone will die. It was never enough; I couldn't save them all no matter how hard I tried. You see, I've felt the hopelessness you're talking about, Zee. It eats away at me knowing for all my gifts, it will never be enough."

"How-How do you deal with it," she asked, hearing the raw emotions in his voice.

"I remembered that everyday there's ordinary people with no special powers that try to make a difference. Policemen, fire fighters, aid workers, doctors, volunteers, they all face those same situations we do. They know they won't be able to help enough, but still they try. If they can save just one person, than it's all worth it. How could I give up when they haven't? Their dream is the same as mine, a safer, better world."

Zatanna sat there next to him, the full weight of his words hitting her. She had been so caught up in her own torment she hadn't considered what he must go through. She had been questioning everything about why or if she could do this sort of work, and yet he had brought it down to the basics. The struggle was all about trying to make this a better world.

Rio de Janeiro

Zod stood looking over one of the many underground dream chambers. At his right was his faithful second, Anon. They had come here to check the progress of the crystals. Standing in the same chamber with crystal, Zod could feel the power coming off it. It was one of the five true Kryptonian crystals scattered amongst many false ones in the chambers. It might be a touch of paranoia, but hiding the locations of the five true ones seemed like a priority to him.

"It's at ninety seven perfect, General," Anon said, as he looked over the readings.

"Excellent, and how are the others doing?"

"Most are always as far along," Anon answered. "If I may suggest, General, it would go faster if we didn't move them constantly."

"Perhaps, but they are too important to risk. I trust no one, Anon, allies can quickly turn into enemies. If our young friend, Nathan, decides he wants to turn on us, these crystals will be where he strikes. Let him think he's succeeded in corrupting my plans by tampering with the fakes ones. Once these real ones are charged and the transformation is complete, I will have nothing to fear from him ever again," Zod said with confidence.

"An the sorceress, le Fey?"

"Only a fool would run the first test on himself, Anon," Zod coldly replied.

Daily Planet

Clark had come into the office just to pick up a few things before heading up the Watchtower to start his shift. Zatanna had spent most of the day at his place before deciding she needed to get back to her hotel room. She seemed much calmer as she was leaving than earlier. Clark hoped he'd help, but only time would tell. He knew what she must be going through, the doubts and guilt, but he thought she was strong enough to get passed it. He would have preferred if she stayed all day, but she said she needed to do a few things on her own. She'd thanked him with a kiss and promised to see him soon. These thoughts were on his mind as he stepped into the elevator and headed up to his floor. There were a few other people on the elevator and Clark noticed one of them was smiling at him. Racking his brain to think of the little man's name, Clark knew he worked in the obituaries or something like that. Maury? No. Mark? No. Millard? No, something like that though, Clark thought to himself. Milton, yeah, I think that's it. Clark vaguely remembered meeting him at the office Christmas party and chatting about something, but for the life of him he couldn't remember what.

"How's it going, Clark," Milton said with big smile, finally catching Clark's eye.

"Good, good, how you doing, ah, Milt," Clark ventured, hoping he got the name right.

"Fantastic!" Milton immediately replied, his smile getting bigger. He remembers me, Milton thought, I knew we shared a moment at that Christmas party.

"That's good," Clark absently responded, glancing up to see which floor they were on.

"Beautiful day, isn't it?" Milton asked.

"Hmmm? Oh, yes, yes it is," Clark offered.

"You know I noticed you walk to work, Clark," Milton said, deciding to plunge right in. "On a day like today that must be nice, but when the weather's not so good it must be tough."

"I-I guess."

"Well, if you ever need a ride, I'd be happy to pick you up some time. No problem," Milton offered.

"That's really not necessary."

"Don't think about it, what are friends for," Milton smiled.

'You-You live in the city," Clark asked.

"No, north of it, in the suburbs," Milton answered. He's interested in where I live, Milton thought to himself. We're bonding, right here in the elevator!

"Isn't that kind of out of your way?"

"Not for a friend," Milton smiled.

"Uh-huh, well thanks anyway, but it's not necessary."

"Well, if you reconsider, just let me know. My black Cadillac wagon is a real smooth ride,' Milton said.

"You're the one that drives the hearse," Clark asked, wondering how he got into this conversation.

"You noticed! Yes, that's me!" Milton beamed, feeling the connection with Clark even more now. The elevator doors opened on Clark's floor and as he stepped out he heard Milton call after him, "Keep me in mind, Clark!"

"Have a good day, Milt," Clark offered, not turning around as he headed to his desk. The elevator doors closed and Milton was on cloud nine. It was all falling into place for him.

As Clark made his way towards his desk, he saw Lois coming towards him.

"Hey, Smallville, isn't this your day off," she asked with a smile.

"Yeah, I just stopped to pick up a few things," he offered, "Any hot stories going on."

"Nothing," she said glumly.

"Hey, Lois, let me ask you something," Clark said, "Have you ever noticed that guy, Milton? Is it me or does he seem a little odd?"

"The Grim Reaper? Duh, Clark, everyone's noticed he's a little odd. More than a little if you ask me," Lois offered.

"Strange," Clark said with a shake of his head. As they started to walk towards his office, Cat Grant came over.

"So what are you two talking about," she asked, her voice always putting a suggestive spin on any sentence.

"The crack reporter here, Clark just discovered that Milt down in obits is a little strange," Lois laughed.

"Really? Just now, Clark?"

"What? I hardly know the guy," Clark said in his own defense.

"He drives a hearse, Clark," Cat replied. "You should have seen the gift he gave me last Christmas. He cut out a long string of paper dolls and pasted my picture on them. He called it a Cat-mas tree ornament! I mean that's borderline rubber room territory."

"Speaking of employees," Lois said, changing the subject from the paper dolls and what that was about, " do you know that girl Lisa that works down in comics?"

"The shy one," Clark asked.

"Yeah, that's her!"

"You're not still harassing her again, are you, Lois," Cat asked. "Give the poor kid a break."

"I haven't done anything to her!" Lois exclaimed in frustration.

Downstairs

Lisa walked into the obituary department to find Milton busily writing something down over and over.

"Slow day, Milton," she softly asked.

"Yeah, nobody seems to be dying today," he replied, not looking up from his tablet.

"What are you writing," she asked, moving over to take a look. "Milton and Clark Kent? Really?"

"I just wanted to see how it would look written out," he offered.

"I-I thought you were hung up on Cat Grant," Lisa said, a little creeped out by his writing it over and over.

"I'm just a ship tossed by the tides of love," he said with a smile.

"Was it the Christmas gift you made her," Lisa asked.

"Yes!" He said in exasperation, "apparently Ms. Grant has no appreciation for someone taking the time to make her a personalized gift! I mean, come on, Cat-Mas! That's damn clever, if you ask me!"

"So now you're hot for Clark?"

" I think we have a connection."

"Okay, if you say so," Lisa shyly said, "I-I just wanted to see if-if you might want to have lunch with-with me-me?"

"Yeah, that sounds great," Milton smiled. He grabbed his jacket and put out the back in thirty sign, before coming around the corner to join her. As they made their way to the elevator, Lisa felt she had to ask, "so you and Clark, really?"

"He remembered my Cadillac wagon," Milton said to her.

"It's a hearse, Milton," she countered.

"Well, you know what they say, if this love hearse is rockin' don't come knockin', Lisa" Milton said, leaning towards her with s grin.

"I-I just-just wanted to-to have-have lunch, Milton," Lisa said, getting very nervous. She clutched her hand to her collar defensively.

"It's just an expression, Lisa, relax," Milton said seriously, seeing her becoming agitated. "Don't pass out on me."

"O-Okay," she said, managing a smile.

Central Africa

The capital was still smoldering and the grim work of burying the dead and finding the survivors was underway. Few noticed the flash of light just at the outskirts of town. Stepping through the portal was Zatanna. She took a deep breath and nervously looked around her. All the horror of the previous day came back to her, but she willed herself to remain calm. Since talking with Clark this morning, she'd been doing a lot of thinking. The easy thing to do would be to pull away from all of this and hide in her other, real life. She could easily have a full life just being a performer. No one would probably question it, but somehow she knew it would always haunt her if she did. The quote from Clark kept running through her mind, "Evil flourishes when good people do nothing." She might not be able to deal with all of this as well as the rest, but she also knew she couldn't just do nothing. She had felt the evil here first hand and couldn't turn her back and hope others would deal with it. Zatanna had finally decided to come back and see if she could help these people in some way. It was a small step, but it was in the right direction, towards a better world.