Chapter 5:

Bakura: //There are many things I hate in this world. Bunnies. Children. Happy teenagers. Unmolested nuns. Life. And any one happier than me, in general. Added all together however, they do not even come 'close' to the amount of hate, I feel for YOU!//

Ryou: /I remember a time when you never talked to me. A happy time it was. Oh sure, I could here your incessant rantings, but they were to yourself../

Bakura: //SHUT UP! I SWEAR TO RA, RYOU! WHEN I GET OUTTA HERE YOU'RE DEAD! YOU HEAR ME? DEADIER THAN THAT FRIGGIN BAKA PHARAOH'S LOVE LIFE!!!//

Ryou: / Oh, well I don't think that's possible/

Bakura: // *is curled in a ball rocking back and forth* I hate you so much! I hate everything! I want to die! Mommieeeeeeeeeee!!!//

Ryou: /I really didn't think you were so scared of-/

Bakura: //I do not fear it! Don't even begin to think that!! I am petrified of it, Ra-dammit!//

Ryou: /She's not that bad./

Bakura: // DON'T GIVE IT A GENDER! Once you give it a gender you want to make contact, and try and understand its ways, instead of blasting its ass off in a glory of flame and flashy lights!!//

Ryou: /......./

Bakura: // *panting from passionate speech*//

Ryou: /Anzu./

screaming, running around in circles quite...girlishly*//

Ryou: /I didn't know you sang opera ^___^/

Bakura: //This is not opera. It's me panicking at the very mention of the name torture you have sealed my fate to!//

Ryou: /Agreeing to go on a date with Anzu?/

Bakura: //*starts earlier process all over again, only this time there are tears*//

Ryou: /OH! Kura! Kura, look at that! I want it!/

Bakura: //Huh, wha-............................NO FUCKING WAY!!!//

Ryou: /It feels so soooft *blushes in complete ecstasy*/

Bakura: //Put. Down. The. Mothering. Justin. Doll. Now!//

Ryou: /*giggles* Oh, but it's not a doll! It's an action figure! *waves Justin doll, er, action figure around*/

Bakura: //.........//

Ryou: /WOOSH!!! *spins around, Justin doll grasped heroically in outstretched hand* IT'S SUPER JUSTIN! HERE TO SAVE THE DAY WITH MELODIES OF LOVE AND STALKING EX-GIRLFREINDS! WHHHEEEEEEE!/

Bakura: // I don't think you realize how much I want to kill you right now...//

Ryou: /Kura, this man wants me to pay for Super Justin. I don't wanna./

Bakura: //*sighs* Then send him to the bloody shadow realm and be done with it!//

Ryou: / He's really mad. I think all he needs is the reassurance he's loved!/

Bakura: //......What!?//

Ryou: / =^__________________^=/

Bakura: //Ryou, stop hugging the merchant//

Ryou: /He keeps yelling, so I guess he's happy! I think this calls for a snuggle!/

Bakura: //No, this calls for a slap//

Ryou: /Oh dear he doesn't seem happy now/

Bakura: // I think you crossed the line when you kissed...//

Ryou: /*sighs* Oh well I tried. I guess now I should probably just give him Justin back/

Bakura: //Somehow I don't think that will work//

Ryou: /Kura! Why is he still mad! I gave him Super Justin back!!/

Bakura: // AFTER you put it in your pants// Ryou: /So he would carry all my love!/

Bakura: //Right. Are you done yet.//

Ryou: /Just one more thing/

****Everyone is in the class room again, and Kaiba is back from wherever it is Kaiba goes. Yugi and Yami are avoiding each other, on account of Yami screams every time he sees Yugi******

Ryou: *rolls into the classroom* *he is wearing a Nile printed skirt and a parka*

Everyone: *stares somewhat shocked and apprehensively*

Malik & Yugi: *looks at each other and smirks*

Ryou: *jumps up and waves wildly* Greetings silly heads!!!

Yami: *dignifiedly leaning against wall* Why are you dressed like a girl baka?

Ryou: *calmly glomps Yami and kisses him full on the lips* I wuve you my bishie face!!!

Yami: *gawks*

Everyone: *has moved ten feet back*

Ryou: I'm not dressed like a girl! I wanted to look like I did in Egypt all those thousands of years ago! *turns to everyone with teary eyes* It looks okay, right? It doesn't make my butt look big does it? *bites on napkin anxiously*

Yugi: *steps forward smiling* Bakura, you have never looked more beautiful!!

Ryou: *cries in relief* Yugi! Why couldn't you have been my hikari! Ryou is so bloody mean to me! He didn't think I looked pretty at all!

Bakura: // *Still naked. Still tied to a car. Is gagged now * MMMMMFF!!!!//

Kaiba: Something tells me I should have stayed Puerto Rico -.-__-.-

Jou: *whispers* You don't know the half of it

Ryou: *pops up in front of Jou, smiling*

Jou: *yips*

Kaiba: *has out recorder* Muahahaha, that will come in handy later

Jou: *is freaking out as "Bakura" has grabbed on to the skin of his face and is stretching it up, down and around!* Eh? B-Bakura. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!

Ryou: *staring at Jou's face in deep thought* I've always wondered how you could completely change the features of your face in a duel. Is it only when Yugi and you win? How do you do it? *stares innocently into Jou's eyes*

Jou: Errrr *sweatdrops* I don't really know. Special German talent?

Ryou: Hmmm. *thoughtful* Well you seem to really love yourself, so it must be something you do when someone you love wins.

Jou: You make me sound so shallow -_-;;

Kaiba: That's because you are.

Jou: *glares* *yips as "Bakura" releases his face but moves in to leer*

Ryou: So then that would mean...that you love Yugi!!!

All: *gasp*

Kaiba: O_o!!!!*has a convulsion*

Yami: O___O!!! *dies*

Yugi: *is confused* ^__^??

Jou: *stunned* I-I-I-I-I

Kaiba & Yami: * come up behind Jounouchi, with fangs and the Eye of Horus glowing on their heads* JOUNOUCHI!!! MUTT!!!

Jou: ~__~;; *whimpers and backs away* It's not true, I swear! Seto I swear-

Ryou: *sticks foot out innocently whistling*

Jou: *trips and falls on top of Yugi.*

Yugi: Ohayou Jou-kun ^_^

Jou: *chokes* Ehhhhhhhhhhhhh.....*can feel the fire and brimstone backdrop behind him*

Kaiba & Yami: ROOOOOARRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *start chasing Jou, sending shadow blasts after him*

Jou: *yips once more and runs from the room*

Kaiba & Yami: *chases him*

All: (-)__(-)

Marik: Well that was completely pointless and amusing

Yugi: I'm glad to see Kaiba and Yami are finally getting on well though, they're usually at each others throats.

***From outside***

Yami: MIND CRUSH!!!!

Jou: YIPE!!

Seto: FACE THE MUSIC MUTT!!! *sends sparkly shadow powers after Jou*

*hits a car instead*

***in the class***

All: *stare at "Bakura"*

Ryou: *waves* ^________________^

Teacher: *taps "Bakura" on the shoulder* Young man, as pretty as you look in that dress, you are completely out of uniform and must change immediately.

Ryou: *stares at thoughtfully at teacher*

Teacher: *sweatdrop*...........

Ryou: *glomps teacher, bushing happily again*

Teacher: *is scarred for life*

Ryou: *has let go of teacher, who has melted to the floor* Well, I'm going to find food now! Ja Mina!!

All: *flinches at when he waves*

Ryou: *skips merrily away*

Bakura: ....mmmfff...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So tired. Had_to_finish_chappie. Nnnghh.

REVIEWS REVIVE THE AUTHORESS-SAMA!!!

Muah, Authoress-sama. I like that. Arigtaou Safiremoon!

Uh, oh yes! Reviews please!