Disclaimer: I don't own Fairly OddParents.

Author's Note: Concrit appreciated, particularly on characterization.


Chapter 5: Switching

Chester wondered why the Pixie had trapped him in the prison. He thought he and Norm had defeated the Pixies in Fairy Court, and got them thrown in Abracatraz. Apparently, at least one was still free.

Chester glanced around his cell, trying to see if Norm was nearby. No, Norm wasn't trapped, as far as he could see. Then, where was he?


Anti-Norm wondered why all the other Anti-Fairies were so mean to him. He was nice to them, wasn't he? However, that didn't stop them from constantly bullying him and may have caused it. He couldn't go a day without crying.


Anti-Cosmo felt triumphant. Anti-Norm was sure to decide to become a fairy soon. He just needed to plant the idea in his head.


Anti-Wizzy got a message from Anti-Cosmo on his Anti-Fairyberry and he read it. He didn't understand what it meant, but was determined to carry out Anti-Cosmo's orders, even if they made no sense.

"Anti-Norm, you'd do much better as fairy, with all that being nice stuff," said Anti-Wizzy, "as an Anti-Fairy, doing that stuff is just stupid. Your Fairy would make a wonderful Anti-Fairy, but you… ugh!"


Anti-Norm's response was to start crying, but while crying, he considered Anti-Wizzy's opinion. Becoming a Fairy would be a perfect solution to his problem!

"How can I become a fairy?"

"By switching wands with yours," replied Anti-Wizzy, "it has to be yours or it won't work."

"Where's my fairy?"

"Dimmsdale, California," replied Anti-Wizzy, "in a trailer park."

Even though Anti-Norm didn't know much, he knew what a trailer park was and wondered why his Fairy was there.

Anyway, Anti-Norm was sure that if he became a fairy, the Anti-Fairies would stop being mean to him and he'd be able to help people.


Norm was sick of godparenting Chester. Sick of it! Why wasn't Chester fun anymore? Why would he prefer stock market charts, economy graphs, books on economy and gray clothes to all the fun stuff Norm wanted to do with him? He didn't even want to fix the world anymore, though Norm would prefer that to being forced to POOF up every, boring, business related thing known to man!

Also, the world seemed to have took Chester's personality 180 as an excuse to spam Norm with fliers, emails and other ads for places that sounded fun and jobs that would be better than his current one, causing Norm to feel even more annoyed with his job and godkid. What kind of freedom rip-off was this anyway?

He wasn't free, even if he no longer had to deal with his dumb lava lamp. If only he didn't care about Chester, then he could have fun. Norm then remembered his shame when he saw how mean he was to Turner on the Pixies' TV. No, he couldn't abandon Chester, even though he felt tempted beyond belief.

"Hey kid," said Norm as Chester intently studied a business chart, "don't you want to do anything fun with me, like we used to?"

"No," said Chester, "I didn't do anything fun with you."

Norm was shocked into silence. Had Chester lost his memories or been replaced?


Anti-Fortune observed the scene with malicious glee. Now was the time to tell Norm about the merits of being an Anti-Fairy, before he found out that Chester was actually a Pixie. However, he knew it would look suspicious if he told Norm about it at a seemly random time. He had to tempt Norm into going to Anti-Fairy World.

ANTI-POOF!

A different, mind-controlled sexy genie dame appeared. Finding genie dames to tempt Norm with wasn't hard, they just had to go on Ebay, garage sales or stores and buy millions of lamps and rub them until they found a beautiful genie dame and ANTI-POOF it to Norm.


"Hey, Norm," flirted the genie dame, "I have something I want to show you."

"Let me guess, another bed," said Norm, "Sorry, but I'm taking care of Chester, even if he's acting like a boring, pain in the butt!"

"Better than a bed," said the genie dame.

"A kinky bed?" asked Norm confused, "I got nothing – and no."

"No, it's not a bed," said the genie dame, "though I think you'd be good in one."

Norm felt confused. He would prefer bedding a dame or doing whatever she meant to do than godparenting Chester now, but he cared about Chester, and he didn't want to lose his job – and his freedom.

"No consent," said Norm firmly, "period. Leave now or I'll tell Jorgen that you are distracting me from my duties. I know how he hates genies and if you were watching my interview on Fairy Idol, you'd know too."

POOF!

"Here's your restraining order," said Norm, handing her the restraining order that had just came out of thin air, "I'm not losing my freedom or Chester just to engage in an one-night stand."

Her response was to tear up the restraining order.

"Note to self: Next time, buy one made of smoof instead POOFing one up yourself," said Norm dryly.

"I could get a babysitter for your kid," said the genie dame.

Norm wondered if he'd lose Chester if he got a babysitter, but decided that it would be okay as long as it was quick.

"Yep, you have my consent now," replied Norm, "get Chester a babysitter. I'm going to have some fun!"

ANTI-POOF!

Norm and the dame appeared in Anti-Fairy World.

"I know weird kinks exist," said Norm, "but do you seriously like to bed people in Anti-Fairy World?"

"Don't you remember when I told you that I wasn't trying to bed you?"

"Oh, right," said Norm in embarrassment, "what were you trying to do? Take me to the world of the bad luck freaks?"

"Don't attack the dignity of the Anti-Fairies," replied the genie dame, "they have a lot more fun than you do, with your kid," she snorted derisively, "Chester."

"Well, don't attack the dignity of my kid either," replied Norm, "Chester's a great kid, he just went through a weird personality switch. Maybe, it's just a bizarre version of puberty."

"No, he's not," replied the dame smoothly, "Chester's holding you back and you know it."

"If I wasn't Chester's godparent, I'd still be trapped in my lamp," replied Norm, "That's not called 'holding me back', isn't it?"

"You care about him so much that you are denying yourself fun," said the dame.

"I know that," said Norm, "you really don't need to remind me. I know."

"Than why won't you give him up?"

"Haven't I already answered that question?"

"Norm," said Anti-Fortune, "we Anti-Fairies have a offer for you. If you switch species with Anti-Norm and become an Anti-Fairy, you'll be free of all your godparenting duties and will never have to worry about being trapped in your lamp again?"

"Don't Anti-Fairies usually get defeated in the end and end up trapped in jails?" asked Norm, "sorry, but I don't feel like worrying about Abracatraz."

ANTI-POOF!

Anti-Norm appeared, and even though he was wearing stuff Norm would never ever wear (like a pro-Canada shirt), Norm recognized the similarity to himself. He noticed Anti-Norm was crying, and thought it looked odd on a dark blue version of himself, with an opposite fashion sense.

"Norm, can I please switch wands with you?" he asked with a sob, "those Anti-Fairies are so mean to me."

"The Anti-Fairies won't get imprisoned if you help us," said Anti-Fortune, "and Anti-Norm is just useless."

"Alright," said Norm, "I'll do it, but please don't ask me to harm Chester."

Norm and Anti-Norm switched wands.

Norm's fly-like fairy wings changed into bat-like Anti-Fairy wings. His teeth gained carnivorous points and his clothes, hair and skin turned dark blue. His ears became pointed, like elves' ears in human media and mythology were.

Meanwhile, the reverse transformation was happening to Anti-Norm.

When it finished, Anti-Norm POOFed back to Earth.


Anti-Cosmo grinned. Now that he had dealt with Anti-Norm, he could begin his real plan to control the universe!