Disclaimer: I don't own Fairly OddParents.

Author's Note: Constructive criticism welcomed, particularly on characterization.


Chapter 8: Official Protectors against Pixies

The Anti-Fairies appeared in Jorgen's command centre. Jorgen wondered if they had caught the entire quota yet, though he assumed they had.

"We have caught fifty Pixies and they are all in this bag," said an Anti-Fairy, showing the bag to Jorgen.

Jorgen opened it to check. The Anti-Fairies did catch fifty after all.


"YOU ARE NOW THE OFFICIAL PROTECTORS AGAINST PIXIES!"

"And you are now caught," said an Anti-Fairy, as he swung the extra-large butterfly net on Jorgen.

"How dare you defy the authority of Jorgen Von Strangle?"

"Easily," replied the Anti-Fairy, "you don't have authority anymore."

Anti-Cosmo picked up Jorgen's wand (which was heavier than lead-lined rock). He ANTI-POOFed up Da Rules, and used both his wand and Jorgen's at the same time. The wand and Da Rules submitted to his might and became his.

"I reign Anti-Fairy World and Fairy World," said Anti-Cosmo, "two down, the rest of the universe to go!"

"Can we go and cause random bad luck now?" asked another Anti-Fairy.

"Yes, you are at no risk of being stopped by Jorgen," said Anti-Cosmo, "go on your merry way and cause dire glee."

Several Anti-Fairies ANTI-POOFed out of the command centre, assumingly to Earth.


Norm was back in Anti-Fairy World. He figured that saving the world would be easier if he actually was close to the villain's lair. He had removed Chester's wish for him to "tell the truth" because he had realized that since he granted the wish, surely he could take it off. Norm wondered why he hadn't realized that he could do that before. It was such a relief to be able to lie again. If he had to tell the truth all the time, he'd never be able to defeat both the Pixies and the Anti-Fairies.


"The female genie isn't needed anymore," commanded Anti-Cosmo, using the phone function of his Anti-Fairyberry, "remove the mind-control and imprison her back in her lamp."

Anti-Fortune removed the mind-control and the female genie's eyes ceased to look woozy and the sparkles disappeared from around her. He wondered why Norm hadn't noticed them. Too stressed out by fake Chester, he bet.


"Where am I?" asked the female genie in a way distinctly unlike a damsel-in-distress, "Anti-Fairy World, right?"

Norm couldn't help but overhear the female genie. He presumed that the Anti-Fairies had freed her from the mind-control. He longed to go in there and severely harm the Anti-Fairies, but he knew better than to expose his real feelings about them so quick. Norm was sure the dame could cope with it herself. She didn't seem like a damsel-in-distress.

"Yes," said the Anti-Fairy creepily, "You are in Anti-Fairy World. Next stop, your lamp."

Now that got Norm simmering, but he knew that he had to control himself or the Anti-Fairies would know that he wasn't on their side, and the world would be doomed.

"I wish you were back in your lamp."

GONG!

She got sucked back into her lamp. Norm groaned. He hated being in his lamp and it wasn't a stretch to think that she thought likewise of hers. Then, Norm remembered that he could do something.

Norm entered the room. Anti-Cosmo's castle sure was eerie, maybe even frightening if you were human.

"Hey, would you mind if I borrowed the sexy genie dame you were just using, would you?" asked Norm, trying to sound casual, as though he borrowed sexy genie dames every day, "you had a really long turn and – dang, I want some."

Norm felt uncomfortable with talking about another genie that way, but luckily what he had alluded to wanting wasn't actually what he wanted the dame for.

"Sure," replied the Anti-Fairy, "she's so tempting that you actually want what she tempted you with. I wish you were out of your lamp, but not free."

Norm hated loopholes when other people used them against him (though not when he used them against them) and emphasized with how the dame was probably feeling.

GONG!

The dame spiraled out of the lamp. Norm marveled at how sexy a genie dame could look when just coming out of their lamp when it was rubbed or they were wished to. Norm shook his head. How was he ever supposed to save the world if he was distracted by the sexiness of genie dames?

"What, does he want to play with me too?" asked the dame, "typical."

Norm knew how that felt and he wanted to explain that it wasn't his intent, but he knew not to expose his true motives.

She followed Norm as he left the room anyway, and when Norm ANTI-POOFed them to Crocker's house, she decided to question Norm further.

"I know weird kinks exist," said the dame, "but do you seriously like to bed people at Mr. Crocker's house?"

Norm laughed. What she said sounded strangely familiar…

"You were just faking forgetting what happened under mind-control, weren't you?" asked Norm, "magical creatures have more of a chance remembering events that happened when they were mind-controlled than humans do, don't they?"

"Yeah," replied the genie dame, "Do you really think I'd let the Anti-Fairies know I remembered?"

"Nope," replied Norm, "and I know this is trivial, but what's your name?"

"Calais," replied the genie dame, "Cal for short."

"Cal," said Norm, "I'm Norm the swinging, magical, Anti-Fairy/genie!"

He even used his typical neon sign.


Cal groaned. Boy, he sure had an ego!

"Get to the point, already, Mr. Swinging Magical!" said Cal frustrated, "why are we at Crocker's house?"

"I wanted to get away from the Anti-Fairies," said Norm, "since they thought that using a mind-controlled genie would tempt me to join them and they replaced my kid with a Pixie, I decided that I didn't want to be on their side anymore. They forced you back into your lamp and… so yeah. Crockpot's house was the first place I thought of."

"Oh, will you save the world from them, or just you, me and your kid?"

"The world," replied Norm, "Cal, can you stay here so I don't look suspicious in Anti-Fairy World?"

"Yeah," replied Calais, "I know how suspicious it would look if you brought me to Anti-Fairy World and treated me like an equal instead of toy or tool."

"Beware of Crockpot though," said Norm, "or GONG yourself to Hawaii or something. I'd love to meet you there."

Cal groaned. Was the Anti-Fairy/genie attempting to flirt with her? That was not what she needed.

"Okay, I got it," she replied, "beware of Mr. Crocker, got it!"


Norm ANTI-POOFed away. He was going to save the world – with stealth and trickery – and wouldn't let anyone stop him!