Disclaimer: As much as I would like to, I don't own Merlin!

Merlin sat on his bed with his arms wrapped around his legs, his knees drawn up to his chest, his eyes staring blindly at the wall. His mind was still replaying Arthur's final words to him in his head, as if thinking them over again would somehow make them less painful. No luck - the memory of them still stung sharp as nettles against his heart.

"You think you're so special, Merlin!"

"Don't you dare tell me to calm down after everything you've done!"

"Just get out. I don't want anything to do with you."

And then that final stab, those three words that had brought Merlin's entire world crashing down:

"Magic is evil."

Back when Arthur had been on his side, Merlin had half believed that they could get through anything. He had believed that the new magician who had decided that Merlin had a death wish could be beaten. He had believed that Uther would eventually accept him for who he was rather than just 'The Sorccerer.' He even believed that one day he would manage to fit in again and that Arthur would finally achieve his destiny. Now all of it seemed drained of colour. All of it was just out of reach, too far away to appear real. He couldn't hope for any of it.

The one question that had kept bouncing around his head returned once more, drilling into his mind. Why? What made Arthur say those things? Maybe it had been him. Maybe he had been leaning on Arthur too much. Or maybe it was his magic, finally striking fear into the prince. Or could it be that Arthur had begun to listen to his father, agree with him?

Magic is evil.

Those were Uther's words, and yet here they were slipping through Arthur's lips. Could Arthur be turning into his father? How was Merlin supposed to guide Arthur to become the greatest king England had ever seen if the Prince was entirely against magic?

He couldn't bear to sit in his room alone any longer. He needed to see someone. He climbed off his bed and made his way out into the main room beyond. Gaius was at the table, scrambling to collect some herbs from one of his pots. Merlin hung back on the stairs, hesitating. But it was true - Gaius had been a father figure to him ever since he had arrived in Camelot. If Merlin could talk to anyone about this, it was Gaius.

"Gaius?"

Gaius glanced up and then looked quickly back at his desk. Merlin hesitated and then spoke again.

"Gaius, I really need to-"

"Merlin, I can't now," Gaius said heatedly, pilling various bottles and pots into his bag. "Uther is looking to me to act to do something for Morgana. I must try, do something to ease her passing..."

"I just-"

"I won't be back tonight," Gaius shot over his shoulder, heading for the door. "I have to go. Find some food for yourself, Merlin."

And then he was gone. Merlin shut his eyes, trying to hold down the sudden lump that had swollen in his throat. He had no idea why this was affecting him so badly, but he had never felt so alone in his life. If he was completely honest with himself, he had no real friends apart from Arthur and...

...and Gwen.

He stood frozen for a moment, and then made for the door. He pushed his way out into the corridor and ran around to the back entrance, slipping out into the courtyard. It was late evening and the sky was dark, rain spattering down over the stones. The rain soaked through his hair and clothes, sinking into his skin like the fangs of an evil beast. He quickened his pace and ducked down into the streets.


Gwen watched as Gaius sat beside Morgana, flicking feverishly through one of his medical books. On the other side of the room, Arthur was leaning against the wall, wringing his hands anxiously. Uther had not yet arrived.

"Come on, now!" Arthur cried suddenly, making them both jump. "Can't you do anything? For god's sake, look at her!"

Gwen did look at her. Morgana's hair fanned out on the pillow below her, a dark halo. Her skin was deathly pale and stretched over her bones too tightly, making her appear skeletal and unreal. Her eyes were dark hollows in her head, purple smudges lingering beneath them, and her lips were almost the same colour as her skin. It was as if all blood had drained out of her, along with her life. The sight of her made Gwen want to cry; she had never seen her mistress like this before.

Gaius rose to his feet, looking over at Arthur.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "None of these remedies can help. None of them will be able to do anything to save her."

"I know you can't save her! Why can't you make her more at peace?"

"This curse is too powerful to be destroyed by simple remedies," Gaius said dejectedly, shaking his head. "I'm sorry..."

Arthur turned away, pressing his forehead against the wall as if he could not bear to look any more. Gwen made her way over to him as Gaius returned to his book. She touched his arm, but he pulled roughly away.

"Don't touch me."

"Sorry, sire," she whispered. "I know this is out of place, but I can't help thinking that maybe Merlin would be able to help us here? He might be able to save her..."

"Merlin's done enough."

Gwen looked at him again, her eyes widening. "What? What on earth do you mean by that? He's done all he could to save Camelot, yes!"

"Merlin has brought nothing but hatred and darkness to Camelot," Arthur snarled at her. "I won't let him destroy Morgana too."

"Morgana will die if Merlin is not there to save her!" Gwen cried. "Arthur, why are you saying these things? These are Uther's words, not yours..."

"Maybe my father was right!" he snapped, whirlling to face her. "Maybe I should have listened to him more than I did."

Gwen stared at him. "Or maybe," she said coldly. "You should remember who has stood by you from the beginning!"

Unable to look at him any longer, she turned away and strode to Morgana's side, sitting down next to her and reaching for her cold, limp hand. Arthur gazed at her blindly, his toughts wrestling one another wildly inside his head. Then he turned away and shut his eyes, blocking out the world.


He stood in the rain, waiting. No one came. He glanced over his shoulder and noticed a woman coming out of a house behind him to collect a bucket from beside the gutter. He turned to face her.

"Excuse me?"

She looked up and then froze, her eyes widening. "Oh..."

"I'm sorry," he said quickly. "I just wanted to ask, is Gwen at home? The woman who lives here?"

The woman shook her head. "She hasn't been home."

Merlin shut his eyes, and then forced a smile and nodded. "Thanks," he muttered, turning away. He moved away, walking in a random direction. The rain drove down on him, whipping across his skin like a lash. He suppressed a shudder, trying to fix his mind on something other than the fact that there was no one around who he could talk to. No one trusted him. And of course Gwen was with Morgana too, probably just as furious with him as everyone else was.

And then it happened, so sudden that he barely had time to take in what was happening.

A cold hand closed over his shoulder and tore him back into the shadows beside the outer wall of Camelot, slamming him back against the stone. Merlin looked up to find himself face to face with his enemey, hair hanging lank and wet about his face, eyes burning.

"Hello, Emrys," he snarled. "What are you doing wandering around out here... and so alone?"

Merlin struggled to grab hold of himself, reaching deep inside for his magic. But where he usually felt that familiar pulse of strength, there was nothing. He shut his eyes again, trying desperately to get at it, and the man's hand tightened on him.

"Don't worry, Emrys," the man growled. "Everything is going perfectly to plan. This is just the next stage."

He slammed a fist forwards into Merlin's stomach, forcing the breath out of him. Merlin doubled over, gasping and choking, and the man took a few steps backwards. He spread his hands, tilting his head back.

"Open up," he whispered.

Merlin looked up in time to see a blinding golden light errupt from the man's chest. The man tumbled to the floor, motionless, and the golden light surged forwards. It hit Merlin full on. For a few seconds, he felt nothing but confusion. And then the pain came. An agony so sharp and destructive that it forced him down to his knees, ripping a piercing scream from his mouth. His body jerked and spasmed as the pain rolled through him, wild and furious. He felt as if his head were being ripped in two, as if his whole body was being scorched in a ferocious fire. He had been cast into hell... he was dying...

Arthur, help me...

His vision exploded before him in dots of black and white, blotting out everything else in sight and he felt himself falling, not to the ground but backwards into his own mind... he was shrinking away into nothing. He tried to hold on to something, anything, but there was nothing left to hope for. He was being destroyed... and then, suddenly, it all stopped and he was crouched alone on the ground, his body heaving with great gasps and shaking wildly. He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm his racing heart.

And his body stood up.

That was exactly as it felt like. He did not move at all, but his body rose to its feet on its own accord and looked down at the limp form of the man in front of him. Then it turned and began to walk back towards the castle. Merlin tried to stop but... but he couldn't move. He wasn't even breathing... he couldn't speak...

Stop! he screamed silently in his head. Stop! What's wrong with me? STOP!

A slow, dark laugh rose up from within him and burst through his lips. The lips moved, speaking with his voice, the same and yet so entirely different.

"There's no use in screaming. I'm in control now."

Sorry this chapter was a little shorter than usual! I also may not have much time to post an update for a while because I'll be in Sweden for a week. I'll do my best to steal my friend's computer! Please REVIEW!

SUPRNTRAL LVR.