Author's note, ok so this is chapter five. I'm warning you before you read, the first couple of paragraphs are depressing, and it's not exactly the longest or most significant chapter but I had to put it in, it's what will set the mood for the next chapter, don't worry the next chapter will be longer and less sad…well I can't guarantee the less sad part, I'm not saying it's a bad chapter though, I did put a lot of detail in the paragraphs so I hope you enjoy and don't forget to review!!!!!!!!!!!!! BTW, thanks to my followers who have been following this story from the beginning, your all great and a appreciate you very much.

After about four minutes of running and not really going any where I decided to stop, I wasn't really running for a purpose, just to think, or maybe to get away. I wanted to get away from the horrible truth that was my reality, I wanted to escape from it and just pretend it was never there, pretend none of this ever happened.

Even though I knew this wasn't possible I could still try, and I did still try. In fact when I had stopped running I realized I had made it all the way to Canada. Wow, that was more then just a small sprint.

Even though I had a lot of pain and sorrow and didn't really want to go back I knew that I had to go back. If not for myself then for Bella, I mean if I felt this bad I couldn't imagine how bad she felt, she had loved Edward, married him, and now this happened. I bet she never thought he'd be a kidnapping, killer, freak. This must be absolutely horrible for her.

I just lost one loved one but she….she lost three, her son, Edward, and Charlie. Sure we might get Jeremy back and Charlie will most likely make it out of the hospital ok but Edward, she will never be able to look past this, never be able to forgive.

People say love is blind and even horrible tragedies can be forgiven but I know no matter how blind Bella's love for Edward might be she will never be able to forgive him for what he's done.

I slowly started to head back now, it was a long way back and it knew it would be a lonely journey. Embre and Quil had offered to come with me but I had told the no, told them to stay and take care of Bella and search for Edward. Told them I'd be fine by myself, I wasn't so sure if I was fine by myself anymore. I began to have suicidal thoughts, unthinkably horrible suicidal thoughts.

Hey, if you lost your son you would too. Even though death was easy I knew had to go back. Someone had to be strong, be there for Bella. I couldn't leave her now, not at such a horrible critical time, not when she so badly needed a shoulder to cry on and someone to lean on and reassure her even at the most horrible times that everything would be alright.

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When I got back I found Bella on the floor in Charlie's house crying. She was laying just where we'd found him. I looked around for Seth, I mean he was suppose to be watching her but everyone was gone.

There was another note on the door though, it looked like it was from Seth. It read… "Jake, I'm really sorry man but we had to leave Bella, there was a break threw in the case, Alice thinks they might be going to Canada so we all headed up there."

Great, now I know this, just after leave Canada, you know, I was really beginning to hate notes.

There was really nothing I could do about that fact now, I just decided to crumble up the note and get Bella off the damn floor.

"Bella, come on, that can't be sanitary." I said though she didn't move. I decided to lift her. I dragged her onto the couch and just cradled her in my arms.

"Bells, they'll find him, everything's going to be alright, we'll get our son back."

"What about Charlie?" She asked sniffling.

"He'll be fine."

"How do you know?"

"There's some things a guy just knows."

"That makes absolutely no sense what's so ever." She said muffled because she was crying into my chest.

"Can't you just trust me sometimes?"

"Why do you smell like pine?' she asked changing the subject.

"I went for a run to clear my head." I said.

"Did it help?"

"Not really."

"That's because nothing will help, life will just go on horribly."

"Bell's, you know that's not true, I know your going threw a hard time but life will get better."

"Now you sound like Carlisle" (A/N that was for all of you who told me I spelled his name wrong, now it's right, I hope your happy!!!)

"Hey that was like the exact thing he told Edward."

"Yah, and now look what he did."

"Maybe I should change my advice."

"Yah."

"You want to go visit Charlie in the hospital?" I asked changing the subject.

"I don't know…..I don't want to see him like that." She said as she started to cry again.

I needed to distract her, make her think of something else, get her out of this horrid mind set.

Now what can you do to cheer someone up? Hum? I don't know I needed someone to cheer me up first before I could even think of cheering someone else up. Even though this was true I still had to try, even a little something might help.

"Don't worry cause, every little thing is gonna be alright." I started to sing as I kissed her on the forehead.

"Jake, you really shouldn't sing." She said giggling a little.

"Geez, just trying to lighten the mood a little." I said giggling too.

"Isn't there anything I can do to make you happy?" I asked.

"I want my son back, and I want Charlie to be out of the hospital, and I want you to murder Rose and Edward when they get back."

"Ok, but what can I do now to make you feel better?"

"Nothing really."

"So you just want to sit around and mope?"

"Yah, pretty much."

"Well you can't do that, no matter how hard life can be you still have to move forward, you still have to live on, even if you lose a loved one, you can't just let life end, I didn't"

"What loved one have you lost?"

"My mother."

"Oh yah….I'm sorry Jake."

"It's ok, and you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because I let life move forward."