Hello, yes, I am still alive.
Don't mind me. Just gonna leave a chapter here for y'all. Sorry 'bout the delay. Enjoy.
Being called to Soundwave's quarters to discuss his suspicions in person should have made Thundercracker feel better. It meant he was being taken seriously, and that the news was important enough to take priority over whatever pre-raid preparations Soundwave was in the middle of. But that was exactly why it didn't help. Being taken seriously meant he could be right, and he didn't want to believe that Starscream could have been hurt so badly that his behavior would take such a drastic turn. He didn't want to think about how far one would have to go to get this kind of reaction from him.
There was an aura of tension in the room when Thundercracker entered, but it wasn't the nervous anticipation that normally came before battle. It felt more like walking in on the middle of an argument, and his immediate impulse was to back right out again. But Soundwave was already turning toward him, and anyway, leaving now wouldn't help Starscream. So he forced himself over the threshold, trying to ignore the confines of the room when the door slid shut behind him.
"Explain," Soundwave ordered.
Thundercracker shook his head. "I need to ask you something first. How has Starscream been acting around you? You said he's afraid, but what does it look like?"
Soundwave gazed at him for a moment,then motioned to the desk chair, lowering himself to the edge of the berth. Thundercracker took the proffered seat, catching sight of Ravage crouched behind Soundwave as he did. Ravage looked furious, but Thundercracker put him from mind when Soundwave spoke.
"Starscream: afraid to be touched. Easily startled. Rejects all attempts at comfort."
Thundercracker nodded. "I found him in the halls last night. Same behavior, except he was talking to himself and… He was afraid of me. I don't know what it was, if he was having some kind of flashback or what, but I don't think he knew who I was at first."
"And this makes you believe he was attacked."
"That's not all." Thundercracker rubbed a hand down his face, trying to organize his thoughts. "He was really sick last night. Feverish, shaking, stuff like that. I wanted to take him to Hook, but he begged me not to. Begged. And he has this thing about blue; remember when I said he wouldn't spar with me or Dirge? If his attacker had blue plating, maybe fighting us would have been too much for him. How many blue Autobots are on Earth?"
"Starscream is familiar with pain," Soundwave said. "A simple beating wouldn't get a response this severe."
"I…" Thundercracker's voice broke, prompting him to reset his vocalizer. "I know. And he wouldn't have been able to hide injuries like that anyway. That's why I don't think- Why I'm afraid it was worse than that."
"He would have fought, regardless of what happened. Unless he was caught unawares and released after, he would have been injured."
"Well, maybe that's what happened!" Thundercracker snapped. He paused, pulling in a slow ventilation, then continued more calmly. "Look, we may not get along, but I know Starscream. I know how he acts when he's been hurt, and it doesn't matter if the damage is physical or not."
"You didn't notice that he was sick until last night."
Thundercracker glanced away, shoulders hunched. "I've… been angry at him for a while. Ever since he built the Combaticons and attacked everyone. I didn't- I haven't been paying much attention to him."
"And now you care if he's all right." Soundwave said it like a simple fact, but Thundercracker still flinched, wings drooping.
"Getting mad at him doesn't mean I want to see him hurt. Yeah, he pulls stupid stunts, but he's still Trine. He doesn't deserve to be… Whatever got him so scared, he didn't deserve it."
"Someone thought he did."
"But who? Why? No one on our side would do something like that to him, and-" Thundercracker broke off, dropping his head into his hands with a groan of frustration. "And no Autobot would pass up the chance to capture or kill him if they got that close. Frag it, you're right. He would have been injured if it was them. But what does that leave?"
It left the possibility that he'd been wrong. It left the possibility that Starscream hadn't been attacked at all, and Thundercracker was panicking over coincidences and a bout of delirium. He rubbed his temples with his thumbs, unsure whether he should feel embarrassed or relieved. He couldn't quite bring himself to feel either.
"I guess it could have been a Decepticon," he suggested uncertainly. "Someone with a grudge, or…"
He trailed off, staring at the floor between his feet. That was too unlikely. Even if Starscream had managed to get on someone's bad side - which was, admittedly, a common occurance - they wouldn't go to such lengths to get back at him. It had to be an Autobot, if it was anyone.
"Did you get him to Hook?" Soundwave asked.
Thundercracker grimaced. "No. I should have, but he was so scared… I just couldn't."
"Where is he now?"
"In the med bay, with any luck. Skywarp went to find Hook after Starscream disappeared on us."
Soundwave turned his head toward Ravage, whom Thundercracker was surprised to realize was still present. Ravage flicked his tail once, still clearly upset with something, then leapt from the berth and stalked from the room. Thundercracker glanced quizzically at Soundwave.
"If he's in the med bay, he won't be fighting today," Soundwave said. "Ravage will watch him while we're gone." He returned his gaze to Thundercracker. "You realize you could have harmed Starscream yourself by denying him medical aid."
Thundercracker cringed. "I didn't think about that. I just… wanted to help him."
"Understandable. But next time, contact Hook or myself."
"Yeah," Thundercracker muttered. "Yeah, I'll do that."
"Do you still believe he was attacked?"
"I... dunno. He acts like it, but there's no motive or…" Thundercracker shook his head. "I don't know. I guess this was just a waste of time. Sorry."
"Apologies: unnecessary. Your concerns are welcome." Soundwave stood, prompting Thundercracker to do the same. "We should prepare for the battle. Suggestion: don't worry about Starscream. If there is a physical cause for his distress, Hook will find it."
Starscream wasn't entirely sure what he was going to do when he climbed off the medical berth. He knew what he wanted to do, but attacking Hook and leaving the med bay would only delay the inevitable, and probably make things worse when Megatron found out. Assuming he even managed to take Hook down; normally a well-placed null ray would take care of that, but as low as his energy levels were, Starscream would probably incapacitate himself as well. So escape wasn't an option, but what else was there?
"Starscream? What are you doing?"
Hook didn't sound at all concerned when he noticed Starscream hesitating at the foot of the berth. Disapproving, maybe, but not concerned. It was unnerving, and Starscream didn't know how to reply. He risked a glance over his shoulder at the door, but unsteady as he was, there was no way he would make it before Hook caught him if he tried to leave. He was trapped.
"Well," Hook said when Starscream didn't answer, "let's get this over with, shall we?"
That would be the easiest thing to do. He couldn't do anything to prevent the scans, and he knew he needed them. But he still took a step back, wings rising in what he hoped was a threatening manner. "I don't want to."
"I can't say that surprises me," Hook sighed, pulling a datapad out of subspace. "Have you refueled yet?"
Starscream narrowed his optics. "What?"
"Fuel," Hook repeated. "Have you had any today?"
Hearing the question a second time made it sound no less irrelevant, but Starscream still took a moment to examine it for hidden meaning. "Why does that matter?"
Hook made a note on his pad. "It gives me an idea of how bad the situation is. You didn't seem to have much appetite when we spoke yesterday."
Had it only been yesterday that Hook had cornered him in the rec room? It didn't seem possible. Starscream folded his arms and gave the datapad another suspicious look. "And if I said I haven't?"
"Then I would be concerned and suggest that you have something now, if you feel up to it. The extra energy will help your systems reboot."
"My systems are fine!" Starscream snapped reflexively.
Hook looked up from the datapad. "You were just carried in here, and you look like you're about to collapse. That's not the generally accepted definition of 'fine'." Starscream started to object, but Hook kept talking. "If you don't think you can handle energon right now, just say so. Nausea isn't uncommon after a crash."
Starscream scowled. "You seem very certain that I did crash for someone who hasn't even examined me." Yet, he added silently. He still didn't know what he could do to avoid that, and it was hard to think when Hook insisted on talking.
"According to Skywarp, your symptoms when you awoke included an undetermined period of memory loss and difficulty both standing and focusing," Hook said. "Added to a fever high enough to scare your Trinemates and the amount of stress you've been under lately, a crash is the most likely explanation." He paused, then added more quietly, "To be perfectly honest, I expected one would happen sooner or later. Changing a bot's coding isn't an easy process."
Starscream flinched, glancing around the med bay to make sure they were really alone. Only once he was satisfied did he return his gaze to Hook, though it was suddenly easier to focus on his datapad than his face. "How long have you known?"
Hook tapped a finger against the edge of the pad for a moment before abruptly subspacing it. Starscream tensed, but Hook just moved to the next berth down and sank on to it. "Sit," he said, motioning to the berth Starscream had vacated. "I meant it when I said you looked ready to fall over."
Much as Starscream didn't want to admit it, he felt ready to fall over. He glanced between Hook and the berth a few times, but it was hard to find a reason to refuse now that he was the only one standing, so he cautiously moved to perch on the edge. Once he was settled, Hook cycled a deep ventilation.
"As far as I know, Soundwave told me what happened as soon as-"
"If you got it from Soundwave, it's probably a pack of lies," Starscream interrupted.
Hook frowned at him. "One version of events at a time, if you don't mind. Do you want to go first?"
Starscream glared back for a moment, then shook his head.
"As I was saying, he came here after it was over and told me what he'd done. Or rather, he warned me to keep everything he said to myself and then explained things."
"Oh, let me guess," Starscream scoffed before he could stop himself. "He didn't agree with it and didn't want to do it, but decided to go ahead anyway. Because there's nothing messed up about that."
"Actually, he offered no justification at all. He just said that you were resting, but might show up at some point to get your wing repaired. As that didn't happen, I assume you took care of it yourself?"
Starscream couldn't tell if Hook was looking at the wing in question, but he swept them both back in an effort to make them less visible. He ignored the question in favor of snarling, "So you've known since the beginning. Why didn't you do something? Just because you can't talk about it, it doesn't mean you couldn't have-" He stopped, unable to find a way to express himself that wouldn't sound weak.
"I could have checked on you," Hook finished. "Is that what you want to say?"
Even hearing it from someone else, it sounded pathetic. Starscream dropped his gaze to his hands - though he continued to watch Hook out the corner of his optic - and didn't answer.
"I should have," Hook continued at length. "There's no excuse for not doing that much. But I didn't know how you would react or whether you would even let me near you. I realize you might not believe me, but I didn't want to do anything that would make the experience worse for you."
"Worse?" Starscream repeated harshly. "I was attacked in my own quarters and spent the night lying on the floor, alone, trying to understand what had happened to me. How could it have been worse?"
"How did you react when you found out I knew?"
He panicked. He had an actual, full-blown panic attack. In front of Megatron, no less. Shame settled heavy in his tanks and he swallowed thickly, wrapping his arms around himself again.
"Exactly," Hook said. "I didn't want to just show up and have your first thought be that everyone knew what had happened. Even if I could have convinced you otherwise, it would have been more fear and more stress, and you had already been put through too much."
"Shut up," Starscream hissed. "Just… shut up." He didn't want to be talked about like that, like he was a broken victim who needed to be handled with care. It only made him feel worse for his inability to cope.
"Starscream-" Hook began, only to stop, then shake his head. "Did you want to say anything about what happened that night?"
"Like what? Do you want me to give you a detailed account of exactly what he did to me? To wax morbidly poetic about how it felt to have my free will stripped from me one line of code at a time?"
"Would it make you feel better?" Hook asked. Starscream couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic, but he lashed out anyway.
"No it wouldn't! What makes you think I would want to relive something like that? To any degree? It's bad enough that I have to be in the same room as Soundwave and pretend nothing's wrong without everyone else reminding me of it too!"
"What about Megatron?"
"What about him?"
"Well, you're obviously feeling very hostile towards Soundwave. And me. But…" Hook stopped again, looking strangely uncomfortable. "How... does this program affect you emotionally?"
Starscream stiffened. "You did not just imply that."
"It's not entirely unreasonable. There are programs that-"
"Well this isn't one of them!" Starscream spat, physically flinching from memories of pressing his wings into unexpectedly gentle hands. "Why would you even suggest that?"
Hook's expression darkened. "Because he essentially owns you now, yet he seems to be the only one you aren't mad at. Primus forbid I feel any concern for what that might mean."
"That's… What are you talking about?" Starscream was distantly aware of shying back from Hook, preparing to fight or flee, but his mind was somewhere else entirely, running through every recent interaction he could remember having with Megatron. "Of course I'm mad at him! Why wouldn't I be? He's the one who ordered this!"
But Starscream wasn't mad at him. Scared, hurt and confused, yes. Resentful of Megatron's control over him and ashamed of his own inability to resist, yes. But he couldn't find any anger for him. It was all directed at Soundwave and himself.
"I'm not accusing you of anything," Hook said, the same unnerving near-gentleness back in his voice. "You can't help how this is affecting you. I'm just telling you what it looks like, and what it looks like-"
"Stop," Starscream rasped. "I mean it, Hook."
To his surprise, Hook did as he was told this time. But far from being a relief, it left him free to dwell on his lack of anger towards Megatron, and on light, unwanted touches that he had somehow taken a measure of comfort from. Even now that he was aware of it, the only emotions he could manage were self-disgust and fear.
Did the program really have such control over him? It must; there was no way these reactions could be Starscream's. But he almost wanted them to be. At least then they would be his instead of something forced on him without his awareness. But would it really be better if they were his?
He couldn't decide. Both options scared him.
A soft sigh was his only warning before Hook murmured, "We really should get those scans taken care of."
Starscream bit back a whimper and shifted away from Hook, already preparing to resist before remembering it would do no good. The easiest and least humiliating thing he could do would be to give in, but he couldn't make himself believe it. Not that he was trying very hard.
He swallowed again, convulsively, and was grateful for the second time that day that he hadn't refueled.
"Starscream." Hook slowly stood up and moved to where he sat. Starscream watched his approach helplessly, shivering violently, but unsure whether it was from fear or something else. Everything felt wrong. Then Hook was looming over him, but it only lasted a moment before he knelt down, putting himself on Starscream's level.
"I know you don't want to," he said, placing a careful hand on Starscream's shoulder. "And I know medical settings are stressful for you. But you need to try to calm down. What can I do to make this easier for you?"
"I-" Starscream was sure he should know the answer to that. But it had been so long since he'd felt like this, and thinking was getting hard. He reset his optics, trying to clear the darkness creeping in on the edges of his vision, and Hook frowned.
"All right, that's enough," he muttered. "Starscream, listen to me. You need to lie down now."
Starscream didn't need any urging. Even with Hook's help, he all but fell onto the berth. One hand still lingered on his shoulder, reassuringly solid and real as Hook leaned over him.
"Optics off," Hook ordered. "Focus on your vents. I'm going to get something to help you, but I'll be right back."
Obeying was easier than resisting. It was more comfortable too; he hadn't realized how much the med bay lights were contributing to his dizziness until they were gone. Or maybe it was just that he was lying down now. He didn't care as long as the sickness eased. The part about his vents sounded like more effort than it was worth, but it didn't matter, because Hook was back in almost the same moment that Starscream noticed him leaving. Which made no sense, though he couldn't say why.
He forced his optics back online, resetting them against lights that now seemed too bright, and searched out Hook. What he found was a blurry green blob, but that was close enough. He couldn't decipher the quiet sounds that were probably supposed to be words, but they were close enough too.
He wasn't sure if he shut his optics back off or if they did it on their own. The result was darkness either way.
Skywarp tried to pay attention while Megatron explained the Seekers' role in the upcoming mission. He really did. But he kept glancing back down the hall they'd come from, thoughts repeatedly circling around to how weak Starscream had looked when Megatron carried him into the med bay, and it was hard to focus on anything else.
This was hardly the first time Starscream had had to be brought to the med bay through force. But normally he fought and screeched the whole way, even when he wasn't feeling well. To see him barely conscious when he'd seemed fine just twenty-four hours previously was terrifying, and Skywarp couldn't shake the fear that he wouldn't make it through the day. He wanted to drag Thundercracker's stubborn aft to the med bay so they could watch over their Trinemate while Hook figured out what was wrong with him, not lead the Seekers into battle. This was the last thing he wanted to do.
There was also a small, angry part of him that couldn't stop dwelling on the dents he'd found in Starscream's wrist. They hadn't been there last night, which meant Megatron put them there this morning. Except that was baffling as much as infuriating, because usually Megatron went easier on Starscream when he was sick. What could he possibly have done to deserve that kind of treatment now? Megatron wouldn't punish him just for falling ill before a mission, would he?
Too many questions. And still, all Skywarp wanted to do was go back the way they'd come.
"Skywarp!" Megatron barked, making him jump. "Are you paying attention?"
Oops. Skywarp hastily compiled an answer based on what little he'd heard. "Yeah, sure. Get the energon, right?"
Megatron gave him an unamused stare. "Repeat back to me what I just said."
"Um," Skywarp replied eloquently. He wondered if Megatron could tell that he'd been having mutinous thoughts a moment ago.
Megatron gave a low, impatient growl and turned away. "Collect as much energon as you can carry, keep your unit alive, and return to Astrotrain as soon as possible. Is that simple enough for you?"
Skywarp nodded. "Yeah, sounds easy," he said, deliberately ignoring the fact that Megatron was probably asking about the instructions, not the task. He didn't much care if people thought he was stupid, and right now he had more important things to worry about.
The first thing he did when they reached the Command Center was search out Thundercracker; Skywarp was still mad at him, sure, but not enough to let him stay worried. They ended up spotting each other at the same time, and Thundercracker made a beeline for him.
"We found Starscream," Skywarp said before he could ask. "He's in the med bay."
"It's too much to hope that he was there of his own accord, isn't it?" Despite his words, Thundercracker's shoulders slumped in relief.
"Hook commed somebody and Megatron brought him in." Skywarp glanced around to make sure no one was listening, but still lowered his voice before adding, "He looked awful. Like last night, except awake. Well, sort of awake. And his temperature was going back up, I checked."
"How did he react to Hook?"
"Punched him in the face. But it was really weird, 'cause Hook wasn't mad about it. He said it was his own fault."
Thundercracker frowned. "That doesn't sound like Hook."
"Look, I'm just telling you what I saw, okay?" Skywarp snapped. But he forgot his anger a moment later when something else occurred to him. "Oh yeah, Megatron said something about Starscream panicking when he heard they were going to the med bay."
Thundercracker winced, dropping his gaze to the floor. "That sounds a lot like last night," he murmured. "Did… Do you have any idea why he was so scared?"
"No," Skywarp admitted, wracking his processor for any kind of clue. He paused, optics widening. "Except… they didn't think it was weird. Megatron and Hook, I mean. They were talking about crashes and… and processor damage and stuff, but no one said anything about him being afraid."
Thundercracker opened his mouth, then closed it again, glancing around. Skywarp did the same, and tensed when he spotted Soundwave standing a short distance off. Close enough to be listening. He didn't seem interested in them, but that didn't mean anything.
Skywarp grabbed Thundercracker's arm and pulled him away, ignoring the protest he received. He looked back only once, and his insides knotted when he caught Soundwave looking right at them. Or in their direction, anyway, but Skywarp was certain he was watching them.
An involuntary shudder travelled down his wings. He never had liked Soundwave.
"Creepy fragger," he muttered, as much to himself as to Thundercracker. Thundercracker grunted, then stepped closer, voice so low Skywarp had to lean in himself to hear him.
"Warp, do you… Do you think maybe Hook and Megatron already know what's wrong?"
"No way!" Skywarp hissed. "If he won't tell us, he sure as Pit wouldn't tell them!"
"Maybe not willingly," Thundercracker acknowledged. "But you know how Megatron is. If he thought Starscream was keeping something important from him, he wouldn't leave him alone until he knew what it was."
Skywarp remembered the dents in Starscream's wrist and grimaced. "Yeah, okay. But why was he so afraid of Hook, then? If he already knows?"
Thundercracker shrugged. "I wish I knew."
"If you're trying to have a private conversation," Scrapper's voice interjected, "the middle of the Command Center isn't the best place for it."
Both Seekers jumped. Skywarp whirled around, ready to fight, but paused when he found himself facing not just Scrapper, but Scavenger and Bonecrusher as well. He wasn't one to fight fair, but he prefered two on three odds when they were in his favor.
Which didn't stop him from snarling, "What do you want?"
"Skywarp, don't," Thundercracker hissed, putting a restraining hand on his wing. To Scrapper he added, "How much did you hear?"
Scrapper shrugged. "Nothing. But it was obvious you didn't want to be overheard." In a lower voice he added, "How's Starscream?"
"How did-" Skywarp began, only to stop when he remembered Scrapper was the one who relayed Starscream's location to Hook. He hesitated a moment longer, then decided he might as well tell the truth since everyone would notice Starscream's absence soon anyway. "He's staying here," he admitted guardedly. Guessing at what Scrapper really wanted to know, he added, "So's Hook."
"Hook's staying?" Scavenger demanded in alarm. "What if we need Devastator?"
"Megatron doesn't think we will," Skywarp replied. "You can complain to him if you don't like it."
"But we passed both of them on our way here," Scavenger protested. "Starscream looked fine!"
"Yeah? 'Cause he looked horrible when they showed up there," Skywarp snapped.
"I saw him too," Bonecrusher growled. "You wanna call us both liars?"
"Hook thinks he might have crashed last night," Scrapper interrupted, gaining his teammates' attention. "And it only takes a few minutes for a bot to go from normal functioning to unconscious."
"Crashed?" Scavenger repeated, looking at Skywarp.
"Nothing's confirmed yet," Skywarp muttered. "Hook's gonna do a viral scan and… stuff."
Somehow, talking about it made him feel even worse. Starscream had a history of crashing, but it had been such a long time since the last one that this couldn't be related. What if there was something seriously wrong with him?
"I'm sure he'll be fine," Thundercracker said, relaxing his hold on Skywarp's wing to pet it instead. "Whatever's wrong, Hook will take care of him."
Skywarp glanced at him, wondering if he was really so certain as he sounded. But Thundercracker was staring at the floor, and the worry on his face made Skywarp's spark sink.
"Sure," he agreed quietly, pressing his wing into Thundercracker's hand. "We'll probably get back and… he'll be complaining at Hook like he always does."
He pretended not to notice when the Constructicons exchanged looks and slipped away, but he was grudgingly grateful for it.
Under ordinary circumstances, Hook would not have been concerned by a mech passing out in front of him. In his experience, unconsciousness combined with a lack of injuries could usually be fixed with an infusion of energon, a change in temperature, or simply leaving the bot to rest. Judging by what he'd seen so far, Starscream needed all three. Which was typical of a sick bot, and therefore, not a cause for concern.
But these weren't ordinary circumstances, and just like when Skywarp told him about Starscream's collapse, Hook found himself unreasonably concerned.
But perhaps it wasn't so unreasonable, he mused as he lifted Starscream's unresponsive frame onto a table in the examination room. He knew how to treat a crash in theory, but in practice, he had never needed to do so except in cases of physical processor damage. If Starscream's crashes were caused by a coding error and not simple stress or illness, there was nothing Hook could do for him. Nothing except turn him over to a specialist.
After Starscream's earlier fear, the last thing Hook wanted was to have to tell him he might need coding work done.
"Well, Soundwave, I hope you're proud of yourself," he muttered, carefully pushing Starscream's wings back to settle him on his side. Hook paused when the scar running down one wing caught his optic, but set it aside in his mind as low priority.
"I'll thank you to remember that I'm just doing my job when you wake up," he told Starscream, pulling a cable from where it was coiled inside a computer console. "I don't need any more accusations or death threats aimed my way."
Not that he would mind too much if that was what he got. He would rather see Starscream angry and behaving more or less like himself than sitting quiet and fearful. But who knew how long it would be before that side of him - the side that was him - stopped appearing?
Focus, Hook reminded himself. He triggered open a panel on Starscream's forearm, plugging the cable into the medical port there. He quickly bypassed the half dozen access denied messages that popped up on the monitor and started a systems scan, but got no further before a faint groan caught his attention. He towards Starscream just in time to see his optics flicker. They went dark again just as quickly, but Hook still had to shake his head.
"Are you serious?" he muttered. The sedative program he'd given Starscream to calm his processor wasn't intended to cause unconsciousness, but as exhausted as he'd been, it definitely should have kept him out. It was possible his antiviral software already recognized that particular patch, but even if that was the case, this was the fastest purging of foreign code Hook had ever seen.
Starscream's optics flickered again, accompanied by a staticky cough, and Hook left the computer.
"Take it easy, Starscream," he said, unsure if Starscream could even hear him, but willing to try if it meant averting a panicked awakening. "Your systems are still rebooting."
Apparently Starscream either couldn't hear him or wasn't listening, because he stirred restlessly. Hook sighed inwardly and laid a hand on his shoulder. "I said easy. Just lie still for a minute."
His impatience vanished when Starscream shuddered under his hand. Whether it was the touch that upset him, the tone, or something else entirely, Hook wasn't sure. But he found himself carefully rubbing Starscream's arm and softening his voice to add, "It's all right, Starscream. You can rest. You're safe."
Starscream's optics brightened once more, this time staying dimly lit long enough to search out Hook. If he recognized him, he gave no sign of it before they went dark. But he didn't move again, so Hook continued rubbing his arm in hopes of coaxing him into recharge. Sleep wouldn't cure whatever caused the crash, but it would give his systems a chance to reboot properly, and reduce the strain on his processor. Not to mention, the scans would be easier on both of them if Hook didn't have to spend the whole time trying to keep Starscream calm.
A soft beeping from the console put an end to that hope. Starscream jolted, optics flashing back online, and Hook sighed. "Calm down, Starscream. It was just a scan finishing."
In retrospect, that was a stupid thing to say to a disoriented mech who was afraid to be scanned. For a moment it seemed as though the meaning of his words hadn't registered, but then Starscream was clawing at his own forearm, quickly finding the cable, and Hook had to cover his hand with his own to keep him from pulling it out.
"Starscream, look at me," Hook said, soft but firm. Thankfully, Starscream responded to his voice, unfocused optics turning on him. Hook leaned down, trying to look less threatening, but Starscream flinched back from him and he heaved another silent sigh. "It's not hurting you. It's not affecting any of your systems. All I'm doing is running a few diagnostics. We've done this before, remember? During routine exams. Nothing bad ever happened then, did it?"
Starscream hesitated, then looked down at the hand covering his own and slowly shook his head.
"That's right. So just leave it alone for a while and as soon as the scans are done I'll remove it. Okay?"
"...Okay." Starscream's voice was a weak rasp, and his refusal to meet Hook's gaze made it hard to tell what he was thinking. But he released the cable, and allowed Hook to guide his hand away from it. Then he shifted, trying to push himself up, and Hook wearily returned his hand to his shoulder.
"Starscream, please. You just passed out. At least wait for your systems to finish rebooting before you try to move."
The only response he got was the tension in Starscream's frame and a light quiver in his wings. Nothing to suggest that he would do what he was told when he was released. Hook hesitated, wracking his processor for something that might help, then knelt beside the table, keeping his hand on Starscream's arm. As he'd hoped, the movement drew Starscream's gaze back to him, though he watched Hook with the resigned fear of an injured animal watching a predator.
"Nothing's going to happen to you here," Hook said quietly. "I can't promise that I won't have to do things you won't like, but I'm not going to mess with your processor. I'm not going to hurt you physically. I'm just going to look, and if you want to see the results yourself, you can. And then we can talk about treatment options that won't upset you too much. Does that sound reasonable?"
Starscream seemed to be listening. If nothing else, his optics remained on Hook the entire time he spoke. But he gave no sign that what he heard was helping, to Hook's disappointment.
He wished Scrapper were here. He was the one who was good at comfort. Hook would rather perform difficult surgery on an open spark chamber than deal with messy things like emotions. But Scrapper wasn't here and couldn't know about any of this. And all things considered, Hook wouldn't want him to. None of the other Constructicons needed to hear about this.
Hook was just about to try again when Starscream finally nodded, relaxing back to the table. It wasn't the verbal reply that Hook would have prefered, but it was better than nothing. With any luck, he would be more himself once he was feeling better.
Hook wasn't sure what else to say, so he climbed to his feet and stepped back, watching Starscream warily for any signs that he was going to try getting up again. But while he seemed more alert than he had a few minutes earlier, he stayed still. The compliance was more like what Hook was used to, but though he turned his attention to the scan results, he couldn't stop glancing back at Starscream.
Contrary to what one might expect, Starscream wasn't a difficult patient. Getting him into the med bay was a nightmare, but once there he was usually cooperative, if vocal. Hook had never had this much trouble with him before, and thinking about what had happened - and what might have happened - to make him act like this was unexpectedly upsetting.
Hook had just finished setting up the computer to monitor Starscream's vitals when a weak voice whispered, "Why am I so tired?"
Hook sighed, turning away from the monitor. "It could be a number of reasons. Low fuel levels, improperly booted systems, the sedative I gave you just before you passed out. Physical and emotional stress. Illness. Lack of recharge."
"I get it," Starscream muttered. "Stupid question."
Hook shook his head, retrieving the datapad containing his notes on Starscream's condition from subspace. "When you've just crashed, there are no stupid questions. But I need to ask you a couple if you're up to it."
Starscream made a vaguely positive sound, rubbing his face with the back of his hand. "Go ahead."
"What's the last thing you remember?"
"You asking about… no." Starscream grimaced, falling briefly silent, then continued, "Something about… helping me?"
"Any sensory details that stand out to you?"
"No."
Hook lowered the datapad. "You probably won't like this one, but I need an honest answer. When was the last time you refueled properly? By which I mean a full cube in one setting."
Starscream averted his gaze to the edge of the table he lay on. "I don't know. A week. I… haven't felt well."
"Have you been purging?"
"Only a couple times."
Hook made another note, then set the pad on the edge of the console. "If you can keep down small amounts, we really need to get some fuel in you. Even accounting for the sedative, your systems shouldn't be taking this long to reboot."
"How long was I out?"
"Less than ten minutes. But you've taken almost as long trying to wake up."
Starscream mouth twisted bitterly. "Guess I don't have a choice."
"That's not quite true," Hook countered, relieved that he could offer something. "You do need energon, but we can line it straight into your systems if you'd prefer."
It wasn't actually much of a choice; Hook had never known Starscream to choose intravenous treatment if there were other options. Even so, surprise and something that might have been gratitude flashed across Starscream's face before the predicted, "I'd rather drink it."
Hook nodded and moved to collect the fuel, trying to ignore the anger that Starscream's reaction had provoked. He could find a way to vent it later; right now Starscream was far too skittish to be exposed to such emotions, even if they weren't directed at him.
He found Starscream trying to sit again when he returned - something he should have expected, though at least he'd left the cable alone. Rather than scold him, Hook set the energon on the edge of the console and waited to be noticed before asking, "Do you need help?"
Starscream stared up at him for a few moments, expression conflicted, then lowered his head and nodded. He didn't resist when Hook helped him up, but once there he slumped against Hook's chest, too weak to support himself. Hook let him, impulsively wrapping an arm around his too-warm frame in an attempt at comfort that could hopefully pass for keeping him upright. However Starscream interpreted it, he didn't fight.
"Forced reboot," Starscream said suddenly, and Hook paused in the middle of retrieving the energon.
"What?"
"That was a forced reboot just now. If it had been a crash, I'd… I wouldn't remember anything that happened before it."
"You've experienced enough crashes to be so certain of that?"
Starscream nodded, but offered no further explanation before reaching for the energon with trembling hands. Hook let him take it, but cupped his own hand around Starscream's, steadying the small cube. Yet again, Starscream offered no protest.
Hook watched him closely as he sipped the fuel, but his thoughts were elsewhere. As far as he was concerned, a forced reboot wasn't much better than a crash. The only real difference was that reboots were generally harmless, being no more than the attempts of a glitching system to reset itself. It didn't always work, though, and if Starscream's processor was taking such measures, the odds that there was a coding issue that needed fixed had just gone up considerably.
Hook briefly considered saying something, but discarded the idea. Until he'd finished the scans and knew for sure, there was no point in upsetting Starscream again.
Starscream only managed half the cube before turning his face away, optics barely lit. Hook carefully removed the rest from his hands and set it aside, then eased him back to the table.
"You should try to sleep," Hook told him. "These scans will take a few hours, and they don't require you to be awake."
A weak shudder passed through Starscream's frame. "I can't."
"Starscream, it's okay," Hook said as insistently as he dared. "Soundwave's not here, neither is Megatron. Even if they were, I wouldn't let them near you. I know I can't do much for you, but while you're here I can do that."
The frustrated admission of helplessness slipped out before he could stop it. Starscream stared at him, brow furrowed, but stayed silent. Hook took a moment to calm himself, then added, "At least try. It's the best thing for you right now, and I'll be right here."
Starscream continued to frown at him for a few seconds, then looked away. "Why are you acting like this?"
"Like what?"
"Like-" Starscream hesitated, a shadow of something Hook couldn't identify crossing his face. "Why do you care?"
Hook's jaw tightened. "It's not enough that reprogramming is a horrible thing that no one deserves?"
Starscream flinched, curling in on himself and shutting off his optics. "Soundwave said he doesn't approve… a-and that he wants to help, but… he's the one who did it."
The whispered words made Hook feel no calmer; if anything, they had the opposite effect. But the quiet fear did make it easier to remember that Starscream wasn't the one he was mad at, and to force down the anger.
"It's too complicated to explain when you're barely awake," he said as gently as he could manage. "Now sleep. If you still want to know when you wake up, I'll tell you then."
Starscream sighed, but nodded. Despite his protests, he didn't look like he could stay awake much longer if he tried.
Hook watched both him and the readout on the monitor until he was sure he was asleep, then grimly uncoiled another cable from the console. With any luck at all, Starscream wouldn't wake up to bad news. But given what Starscream's luck was usually like, Hook wasn't hopeful.
When will the next chapter be? I have no idea! Bad things happen whenever I try to predict it, so this time I'm just going to... Not.
Should be less than a year, though.
