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The Things That We Refuse To Admit
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A Deal Is A Deal
(Dawson's POV)
I sat back down at the table.
My mom and I were having dinner at the restaurant.
.
"Mm-hmm. I am never eating a home-cooked meal again, am I?" I asked.
"Yeah. Looks like you're stuck yet again with 4-star gourmet cuisine." my mom said back sarcastically.
I looked up at the bar.
"So Gretchen seems to be working out," I observed watching her interact with everyone.
"Uh, yeah, so far. I just wish I knew that she was gonna be around for more than a few months. Now, why would this incredibly beautiful and bright and talented young woman who could be off at college furthering her education choose to be back in Capeside tending bar?"
"Because maybe college isn't the be-all and end-all that parents make it out to be. You know, I mean, maybe once you get past the rhetoric of all these great books that nobody reads, college is basically just a holding pen for 18 to 22 year olds. Like one of those airports that everybody has to stop at on their way to someplace else? Kind of like prison with a better meal plan," I concluded.
I had been giving this a lot of thought lately. I wasn't sure college was for me. I wasn't sure of anything these days.
"Please tell me you're saying these things for the adolescent thrill of getting a rise out of your mother," she uttered worriedly.
"It's true, mom. Most people aren't in college to learn. They're there to kill brain cells and co-mingle with the opposite sex," I said plainly.
"Well, not that I'm complaining, but how did I end up with the only 17 year-old boy in the country who thinks that sounds like a bad idea?"
"Well, I'm not opposed to those things. I'm just saying I think the whole idea of higher education is a little bit of a misnomer. You know, I think people should call things what they are."
"Like when people are running away from their problems, they should admit they're running away from their problems?"
I could tell she was provoking me.
"Are we talking about somebody I know?"
She hesitated, "Well, honey, your father and I couldn't help but notice that all of the college applications arriving in the mailbox seem to be coming from zip codes more than 5,000 miles away."
"Right, and you and dad never suspected that your film obsessed son might want to go to school in California?"
"Well, honey, we don't have a problem if you want to go to California or new Mexico or Alaska if that's what you really want. We just don't want you to make a decision that's gonna affect the rest of your life based on the wrong criteria."
I sighed. "like?"
"Like the desire to put an entire continent between you and a certain girl we both know?"
I paused for a second.
I saw Scarlett walk through the door and then looked back at my mom.
"Joey has nothing to do with me wanting to go away. The world is big and there's so much for me to choose from. Plus, no offense, but, there are so much more to the female population other than Joey Potter," I said doing my best to be convincing.
Whether I liked it or not feeling didn't disappear overnight.
"Hey Mrs. Leery," Scarlett greeted.
"Hi Scarlett dear," she replied.
"I'm headed out mom. See you later," I said kissing her cheek and she nodded.
"Remember what I said."
"Yeah I know," I said grabbing my bag and heading out with Scarlett.
"What did she say?" Scarlett asked and I shrugged.
"It was nothing."
"Didn't seem like nothing."
I sighed.
"My parents think the reason I want to go away for school is because of Joey."
"Is it?"
I looked at her halting my advances.
"No. How could you ask that?" I spat feeling defensive.
I continued walking but, she cut me off.
"It's a fair question Dawson. I wouldn't blame you if you did. I wouldn't encourage it but, it's understandable," she reasoned.
"Yeah I know. But it's not because of her," I stated sternly.
"Ok," was all she said.
We walked to her car and headed to the party
"Hey did you and Jen figure out who's throwing the party?" I asked.
"That would be Drue."
"Drue? Why would he through Jen a party?"
"Because he's the kind of guy that enjoys pushing people's' buttons," she said with some irritation in her voice.
I was officially confused.
"Is that how buttons are pushed in New York? Good to know," I joked and she smiled.
We approached the house and she parked the car.
We got out and found Jen staring at the noisy house.
"You ready?" Scarlett asked.
"Ready than I'll ever be," she said back.
We walked in.
"ooh. Look at that. There he is, our host. You know, on a good day, he'll ruin your chances of getting into the college of your choice, convince you he's the sausage king of Chicago, and wreck your father's car, but somehow, you'll end up thanking him," Jen said smuggly.
"Can I ask the inevitable question?" I asked, curious.
"Was he my boyfriend? No. Was he an indiscretion? Yes."
I nodded, "Ah."
"But to be quite honest, I'm not quite sure what he remembers. We were both chemically altered at the time. I don't think I need to go any further than that."
"Those would be the worse times cause you're not sure what you need to be sorry for," Scarlett inputed and I looked at her.
Sometimes I forgot Scarlett had such a dark past.
Drunken nights, parties, men, sex.
"I'll meet up with you later?" Jen said and walked off leaving the two of us.
I walked over to the punch and grabbed a cup.
"Careful Leery. Don't want to get yourself in trouble tonight," Scarlett said smiling.
"I should say the same to you. Going to teach me how to get wild at a party?" I asked and she laughed.
"You couldn't handle it Leery."
"Oh couldn't I?"
She locked eyes with me and got closer.
She looked great more dressed up than usual, topped with her red lips.
"Nope," she said taking my cup from my hands and taking a sip before backing away a walking towards the pool.
I smiled and turned only to find Joey.
"So number 4 with a bullet, huh?" I said referring to her class rank.
"How do you know that, Dawson?" she said annoyed.
She seemed to be bothered about something and it was clear from the drink in her hand she was medicating.
"Kenny Reiling and friends have already established a betting pool."
She sighed and my smile widened.
"kind of pathetic, isn't it? I mean, 12 years of being a total control freak about school, practically giving myself an ulcer hunting snails and where does that get me? Fourth."
"Joey, fourth is amazing. I mean, the race isn't even over yet. That what you're doing tonight? Celebrating?"
"Yeah. The future. Whoopee!" she laughed sarcastically.
"Joey, everything's working out exactly the way you always wanted. Between your grades and your sat scores, you can go anywhere," I reasoned with her.
Joey sometimes overthunk and over exaggerated. It was one of her many quirks.
"Not you, too, Dawson. I mean, can't 2 people sit down and make small talk without the subject of college coming up? I mean, isn't that possible? I mean, what's next? Are you gonna ask me, uh, where I see myself in 5 years?"
"I don't have to. Aren't you the same girl who wanted to be an anthropologist or an oceanographer?"
Her laughter rang again.
"yeah. Dawson, do you have any idea how much money anthropologists make? And besides, I was just saying that to get your goat. I mean, your buttons are so easy to push. Well, were so easy."
"So you never really had any desire to do great and heroic things with your life? See faraway places, uncover lost civilizations. When it comes right down to it, you'd be just as happy hanging around here in Capeside?" I pressed on with no regard for boundaries.
She was getting a bit drunk. It was clear. She didn't hold her liquor well.
"I didn't say that. Don't put words in my mouth."
"'m just trying to figure out why someone who's about to reap the benefits of something she's worked for her entire life, she's trying to drown herself in some 80-proof fruit punch."
"Look, don't do this, Dawson."
I surrendered.
I wasn't her rock anymore and I didn't want to be. That was Pacey's job now.
"Ok. Cheers."
I rose and walked away but, stopped at the sight of Scarlett.
It was clear she had been watching the exchange as she leaned against the doorway.
"Don't say it."
"I didn't say anything."
"You didn't have to," I said and she crossed her arms looking the other way.
$#%#^!$ % ^#&$*^%^$&%#^$&$*%(&%^# (General POV)
Scarlett walked up to a disgruntled looking Andie.
"You ok?" Scarlett asked and Andie looked down.
"I think I pushed Jack too hard with the college thing but, he can't just throw the future to the side like it doesn't matter!" she exclaimed, more to herself than to me.
"He's not. He just really wanted to play football and now that's over and so he's angry. Angry at himself for letting himself get hurt and angry at you for having it so together when he's falling apart," I said solemnly and she looked at me with sad eyes.
"Come on let's go get some air," I suggested and she nodded.
They walked outside to dock and spotted Jen and Joey.
"Oh, there you guys are. I've been looking all over for you," Andie said with a smile.
"Well, except here, 'cause if you would have looked here, you would have found us, 'cause this, Andie, is where we are. And look you brought Scarlett," Joey spouted drunkenly.
Jen shook her head holding onto Joey to steady her.
"Where's Dawson? Aren't you guys like hooked at the hip or something?" Joey blurted out clearly talking to Scarlett.
"Well last I saw he was talking to you so you tell me," Scarlett shot back and Joey narrowed her eyes.
"Ignore her," Jen whispered.
"So, where's jack?" Jen asked.
"He's avoiding me. Am I too controlling?" Andie asked.
"Yes," Jen and Joey said at the same time.
"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Andie muttered.
"Andie, it's not a judgment. Some people like salad dressing on the salad, and some people like it on the side," Joey said lazily.
"And some people like structure and others like to go with the flow," Scarlett said encouragingly.
"Ok. Well, you know, it's just I want everyone that I know to be able to live up to his or her potential."
"Well, I have great potential as a waitress," Joey added.
Jen and Scarlett laughed lightly.
"that's great, Joey. What do you say that we get out of here, all right? I've got somebody that I owe an apology to." Jen said standing
"No, no, no. Stay here. Before anyone leaves this spot, we have a very important question to answer. Where do we really see ourselves in 5 years? And not the version that you answer to your college advisor. Come on," Joey said trying to stand.
"All right. Um, I plan to be starting work on my master's thesis, "are men necessary?"" Jen answered and everyone laughed.
"and I guess I'll be in P.R. 'Cause I mean, that's all I've really ever been good at in life is painting a happy face on disaster," Andie said.
"Andie," Scarlett said in opposition.
"Well, you know. Think about it," Andie said laughing.
"Joey."
"Um... You tell me," Joey said back.
"All right, all right. That's an easy one. Um, you will have graduated from a ridiculously expensive ivy league school, moved to New York, where you will have taken a job in a funky soho art gallery where your starting salary is actually less than a year's tuition," Jen answered and Joey laughed.
"Why New York?"
"Because New York is finishing school for cynics like us," Jen said back.
"I'm not a cynic."
Jen laughed, "You're not exactly sunshine personified, Joey."
Joey laughed.
"What about you Marilyn?" Joey asked Scarlett.
"Marilyn?" Scarlett questioned.
"Marilyn Monroe was an icon, a trendsetter. You could sleep naked, announce it, and no one would think twice. Hell they would probably join you. You're like a freakin movie star," Joey babbled.
"Well I guess I'll be in Los Angeles. I want to write. Write books, music, movies, plays, anything. I guess I'll be begging people to read my stuff," Scarlett answered looking out into the water.
"Guess that would make you and Dawson perfectly compatible," Joey slurred and for a moment the two locked eyes.
"Me and Dawson are friends."
"You keep telling yourself that princess."
Andie interrupted, "Ok, ok, you guys, come on."
"Right here, right now, let's make a deal. In 5 years, we'll get back together, and we'll see if any of these predictions actually came true," Joey said and everyone nodded.
"Deal," Jen said.
"Andie," Scarlett followed.
"Deal," Andie ended.
"Ok. Shall we?" Jen asked.
"We shall. Oh, wait. You guys, how are we gonna remember the date? It's not really Jen's birthday," Joey said stumbling around.
"I'll remember," Jen said.
"Do you promise?" Joey asked and everyone laughed.
#$I%$! #!$ %^$#&%^#! %#^&*^&%^$
Alright Then...
