Authors note: Ok people, I know that that last chapter seemed kind of pointless but one of my friends gave me an idea to somehow take that and tie it somehow into the story and make Edward have to leave the country….anyway I know that makes no sense right now but you have to read it. Oh and if your reading this thanks so much Laura for the idea…..wait!!! Can I say people's names on hear?.......well then I'll use her screen name, thank you cooper the pooper scooper!!!! That's a weird screen name I know but if you knew her dog Copper trust me it would make complete sense….I'm kind of rambling on hear so…..anyway let's get to the story!!!
(Jacob's still talking)
After that whole event I was very upset, I just wanted to get my damn cloths and get back to Bella and Jeremy.
I transformed out of my wolf form and back into a person, I was almost at my house now anyway, it didn't really matter who so me now, plus I was walking threw the woods…it wasn't like anyone was around…thank God.
Well at least I thought no one was in the woods. As I walked it felt like someone was following me but when I turned around no one was there.
I decided to ignore my paranoia I just keep going. When I go to my house you'll never believe what I saw…..well I guess it's not too hard to guess.
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"Edward what the Hell are you doing hear?" I asked annoyed, wasn't I already punished enough like Jesus Christ.
"Listen Jacob, I just apologized to my family and…why the hell are you walking around in one of Bella's towels?" He asked changing the subject.
Oh well, might as well have some fun with him, right? "Oh you want to know why I'm walking around in one of Bella's towels? You really want to know?" I asked him.
"Yes, that's why I asked."
"Ok, I'll tell you…..I'm walking down the street in one of Bella's towels because…..I have nothing else to wear, Bella ruined my cloths."
"What the hell are you saying?"
"Well you should know, she's an animal, she can destroy anything….oh wait, maybe you don't know…." I said with a light smile, boy was he pissed off.
"Huh", he sighed as if trying to hold back his emotions, he must need me for something………
"Well anyway listen Jake I came hear because as much as I hate to say this…..i need your help. I have no where else to go. My family doesn't want me….and-"
"Wait a sec, you want me to help you/ After all you've done to me?"
"Yes."
"You kidnapped my son, you practically tortured me for two years by rubbing the fact that you had the love of my life in my face and you think that I'm going to help you?" I asked.
Before he could answer a horrible charging noise came from somewhere in the bushes.
"Hey Edward….did you hear something?"
"Yah….it's an angry mob!!!" He said looking very worried.
"Well what are they thinking?" I asked.
Before he could answer an angry mob of guys in pink shirts with torches came out of the woods.
"What the hell is going on?" Edward asked looking very confused. Unfortunately I knew all too well.
"Homo's assemble!!!!" Yelled the guy with the tiny son who thought I was "a very, very sexy man" from earlier before.
"Oh God, come on Edward run!" I yelled.
"Jacob what the hell did you do to offend the gay community?" Edward asked now running at my side.
"Um….it's a long story."
"Come on guys, lets go get that guy!!!" They yelled running faster.
"Which one?" Asked one of the pink shirts.
"The sexy, tall, shinny haired one", said the leader.
"Jacob, is there something we need to talk about, maybe something we need to tell Bella?" Edward asked snickering.
"Damn it I'm never going to get to put pants on today!!!" I yelled changing the subject.
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We ran and ran and ran. It was like these dudes never got tired. When I finally looked around and saw where we were I noticed we were in the meadow. It was dark out hear but light was shining threw little bits in the leaves on the trees.
When we got to the top of the mountain Edward stopped dead in his tracks. "What the hell are you doing, come on, keep going, u=you want to be dragged away?" I asked him.
"No…it's just…just that…this tree right hear….it's where I first showed Bella my shinny vampire skin." He said stepping into the light and touching the tree.
"Yeah, speaking of your shinny skin-" Before I could finish the "homo's association" caught up to us.
"There he is guys lets….Oh my God that guy is shinny!!!! Lets get him instead!!!!!!"
Well that gave me a chance to escape, now should I leave Edward alone out hear…to fend for himself against a bunch of gay dudes……a bunch of gay dudes who thought he was shinny and clearly were going to assault him?
Yeah sure why not. "Jacob, where the hell are you going? Don't leave me out hear!!!!!"
"Sorry man, karma's a bitch. Well bye, bye, or should I say TTFN SFBSL!!!" I said leaving.
I didn't have to run at human speed anymore, I could go as fast as I wanted, no one was watching now.
Though before I left I just had to turn around and see what was going on. I saw a big mob of pink and shreds of clothing flying in the air. The last thing I heard was "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ha, ha, ha, that's what you get you shinny gay boy. I decided to take a few pictures with my phone. I'm sure others could get a good laugh out of this, and it did give me a great new screen saver.
Authors note: well there's the chapter, I hope all you Edward hater's are happy LOL!!!!! Tell me what you think, please, please review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
