"New case!" House said, tossing files to Cameron, Foreman, and Chase. The three doctors were sitting around the glass table in the Diagnostics room drinking coffee. Each took a file and opened it.
"Yesterday morning, patient suffered severe abdominal pain in one of his classes at school. He was rushed to the hospital nearby, who gave him some sort of weird painkiller. Experimental treatment," House said, his disproval evident in his voice. "Nurses are trying to flush it out of his system."
"House, this history seems very incomplete," Cameron said, flipping through the file. "There's no record that he ever got any vaccinations or even went for yearly checkups since he was eleven years old. And before that, he only did what was necessary to enroll at school—never came in with anything, not even a cold."
"The British are weird that way," House said. "Sorry Chase."
"I'm Australian—"
"Anyway," House began loudly, but before he could get another word out, Cuddy entered his office.
"House," she said. "I need to talk to you about this case."
"I'm in the middle of a differential," House said, annoyed.
"Now!" House sighed, and began to leave the room. "Chase, give him some morphine. Cameron and Foreman, look for toxins, check the blood. I'll be back when the cow is done with me." Cuddy shot House an angry look and sped off to her office. House followed, leaving his team to take care of the patient.
"Shut the door, House," Cuddy said when he entered. She sat down at her desk. "This is no ordinary patient, okay? He specifically came from England to see you. The government there is worried about his protection."
"The government? Why do they care about the kid?"
"His parents died when he was young. He lived with his relatives, who took care of him until he was eleven. Then he went to boarding school. He's a wizard, House."
House laughed. "What are you smoking?"
"I'm serious, House," Cuddy said, looking at him disapprovingly. "The Ministry of Magic—that's the government I was referring to—had a representative speak to me directly. The boy's disease is not magical, that's why they need you to figure out what he has. But they're extremely worried about the boy's protection. I need you to sign this contract, saying that you won't tell anyone what you know. And when you tell your team, I need them to sign one too."
House gave Cuddy an odd look. "Look," Cuddy continued, irritation in her voice, "don't believe me if you want. Fine. I didn't believe it either. But just sign the damn contract so we don't get sued, alright?"
House sighed and took out a pen. He scribbled his name on the paper. Then he looked up at Cuddy. "Why did he come all the way from England?"
"There's someone after him over there. The guy who told me was too scared to say his name. But he said that if the boy was in a hospital there without magical protection, he would be in danger. That's why he came here. And they're sending two guards to be on his room at all times."
"Evil wizards, magical guards?" House said thoughtfully. "Well, at least it'll make this case more interesting," he rolled his eyes. "They don't need to worry. Sounds like appendicitis. We'll know when Cameron comes back with the blood tests."
"Alright then," Cuddy said. "But please, please, be careful. They could sue us for more money than the whole hospital is worth."
"Don't worry," House said as he headed towards the door. "I'll watch out for the fire-breathing dragons."
()()()
"The morphine should make the pain go away soon," Chase said, starting Harry's IV. "How are you feeling now?"
"It's bearable," Harry said through gritted teeth. "The spell must be wearing off," he muttered to himself.
"What?" Chase asked.
"Nothing," Harry said quickly.
"Okay," Chase said. "I'll be back in an hour. Be sure to let me know if the pain doesn't start to go away." Harry nodded. Chase left, and Cameron came in shortly afterwards.
"Hi, Harry," she said. "I'm Dr. Cameron."
"Hi," Harry said. It was a relief to hear someone call him by his name. He had never been in a hospital before, and the experience was quite nerve wracking. Being treated like an inanimate object all the time didn't help.
"I'm going to prick your finger to take a blood sample," Cameron explained. "This will tell us if you have an infection." Harry watched as she pricked his finger and collected the blood. He didn't even flinch. "Does that hurt?" Cameron asked.
"I'm used to pain," Harry said, able to speak more normally as the morphine started to take effect. "Sports injuries and stuff like that. And my head…I get, um, migraines."
"Oh, really?" Cameron asked. "So then the stomach pain…"
"Worse than anything," Harry said, completing Cameron's thoughts.
"Hm," Cameron said thoughtfully. Then she handed Harry a cup. "I'm going to need to take a urine sample," she said. "Do you need help getting up?"
"I can manage," Harry said with a smile. He carefully got out of bed, taking the IV stand with him as he walked to the bathroom. Cameron stood near the door.
"What's this test for?" Harry called from the bathroom.
"It's called a tox screen. We need to test for toxins in your system."
"You mean like drugs?" Harry came out of the bathroom, holding the cup. "I've never done drugs in my life, I swear."
"You may have taken something unintentionally," Cameron said gently. "It's best for us to check." She took the cup from Harry and put the lid on, sticking it in her lab coat with the blood sample. Then she stayed in the room to make sure Harry was able to get back into the bed.
"Do you know if anyone's coming?" Harry asked. "To visit me, I mean?"
"Dr. Cuddy said she would be in charge of contacting your family—"
"My parents are dead," Harry said quickly. "I live with my aunt and uncle, but I doubt they'll be dropping in."
"I'm sorry," Cameron said quietly. "But we'll have to check with your legal guardians before we can administer any treatment. So I'm sure your aunt and uncle will want to come by."
"Oh," Harry said, looking doubtful.
"Don't worry. We'll sort everything out," she said with a reassuring smile.
"Okay," Harry said, trying to smile back. He wished he could send an owl to Ron and Hermione, but he doubted the muggle doctors would let birds into the hospital. Sighing, he leaned back into the pillows and tried to fall asleep. He had a feeling it was going to be a long day.
()()()
"Tox screen is clean," Foreman announced as he and Cameron entered House's office. "And the blood test."
"So it's not appendicitis," House said. "Sit down. I need to talk to all of you." He beckoned to Chase, who was sitting in the Diagnostics room.
"Yes?" he said when he came in.
"So," House said slowly. "Apparently, this patient is, in fact, a wizard. And apparently, a much eviler, larger, and healthier wizard is after him. And apparently, two funny looking guards need to watch over him twenty-four seven. And we have to sign contracts saying we won't tell anyone." Three pairs of eyes blinked confusedly at him.
"How much Vicoden have you been taking?" Foreman said finally.
"Cuddy told me all of this! Go yell at her! In the meantime, sign these papers so she doesn't find an excuse to chop off my balls." He waved the paper at their faces. Chase looked apprehensive, but signed a contract. Foreman and Cameron followed.
"Do you know if anyone's coming to see him?" Cameron asked when they were done.
"Why?" House asked suspiciously.
"He asked. He must be scared, he's never been to a hospital before."
"Who cares? But yes. Cuddy's greeting the guards downstairs. They brought some ugly kids with them. Must be his friends."
"So what should we do now?" Foreman asked. "The only symptom we have is abdominal pain, and still no idea what caused it."
"Chase, look up every possible cause of abdominal pain. Cameron, go check on the patient since you're the only one who can stand him. Foreman, go do…something." House said authoritatively, turning on the T.V. in his office. Chase sighed, but left without argument. Cameron followed him out of the room and down the hall.
"Uh, the patient's room is that way," Chase said, turning around and seeing Cameron following him.
"He can wait," Cameron said, grabbing Chase's hand and pulling him into a nearby storage closet. She closed the door behind him and turned, only to have Chase's lips meet her own. "Aren't you usually supposed to put up more of a fight than this?" Cameron asked once he pulled away.
"I'm feeling rebellious," Chase said, leaning in to kiss Cameron again. This time, she did not break the contact.
()()()
"Harry!" Hermione said as she entered his room. She leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. "How are you feeling?"
"Better," Harry said with a smile.
"Blimey," Ron said, eyeing the machinery in the room. "Dad didn't have any of this stuff when he was at St. Mungo's last year."
"Yeah, this muggle stuff is weird, isn't it?" Harry said. "Still, I 'spose they must know what they're doing. The Healers were completely baffled, said they had no idea what had happened."
"That's really quite strange," Hermione said, torn between concern for Harry and fascination at the muggle hospital room. "I wonder what all of this stuff does."
"Search me," Harry said with a shrug. "Who are they?" He indicated the two men outside his room, who he guessed were wizards due to the fact that they were dressed in mismatched muggle clothing that no one had worn since the 80s.
"Aurors," Hermione said. "They're here to protect you. Not that I think anything will happen," she said quickly. "Dumbledore told us that he placed some basic spells on this hospital, and no one knows you're here. Everyone thinks you're still at St. Mungo's."
At that moment, Cameron came into the room. She seemed breathless and was smoothing her hair. "How are you feeling, Harry?" she asked.
"The pain's almost completely gone," he said. "Thanks." Cameron looked around at Ron and Hermione. "Oh, er, Ron, Hermione, this is Dr. Cameron."
"Hello," Hermione said politely.
"Hi," Ron said, staring at her with an odd expression on his face.
"Hey," Cameron smiled at them both. She turned back to Harry. He had just started on his lunch, which the nurses had brought in for him. He took a large bite of his sandwich and his smile faded as he swallowed. "Are you okay?" Cameron asked, nearing the bed.
"I think so," Harry said slowly. Then he leaned forward suddenly, and retched over the side of the bed, narrowly missing Cameron's shoes. Cameron backed away quickly, and Harry threw up several more times. Ron and Hermione looked sick. Two nurses came rushing in from the outside to clean up.
"What's wrong with him?" Hermione asked, worriedly.
Cameron looked at her. "We're not sure."
A/N: Thanks for reading! And thanks for pretending that this entire story would somehow be possible :)
