A/N: It's never really made clear in the Harry Potter books whether muggles would be able to enter Hogwarts, but for the sake of this story we're going to pretend they can :)

"Dumbledore put some basic spells on the hospital to prevent anyone from Apparating directly into Harry's room," Hermione explained as she and Ron lead House and Cameron to the elevators. "We have to go across the street to Apparate." The group entered the elevator and began to make their way down in silence.

"So what other sort of weird magic things can you do?" House asked.

"I dunno, spells and stuff," Ron said. "We can do lots of things."

"Flying carpets?" Cameron asked, remembering House's quip from earlier.

"Brooms, actually," Ron said. "But I think they use carpets in other places."

"Are there wizards here?"

"There are wizards and witches all over the world," Hermione said. "They just keep themselves secret, like us."

"Siiickk," House said. Cameron looked at him reproachfully. The elevator doors opened, and they slowly made their way outside. The wind was cold, despite it being almost April, and Cameron pulled her coat tighter, grateful to Ron for telling her to bring it.

"I think this is good," Hermione said finally, as they crossed the street. "We just need to go where no one will see us…behind those trees, maybe." They made their way behind a small clump of trees that were just beginning to regrow their leaves. They offered little invisibility, but there were no passerby, so the trees were sufficient.

"I think we just need to hold hands," Ron said, taking Cameron's hand quickly. Hermione narrowed her eyes at Ron before taking House's hand. The sight of House holding hands with a teenage girl was rather odd, and Cameron stifled a laugh.

"It's a bit uncomfortable at first," Ron warned. "But hold on tight. Don't let go, or you'll end up who knows where. And if you do end up in the wrong place for some reason…well, stay there. I guess we'll find a way to get you back."

"Don't be alarmed if part of your body doesn't make it all the way," Hermione said. Cameron gaped at her.

"What?"

"Oh, don't worry, it's rare. And one of the teachers at school will be able to fix you right away. It's quite a simple procedure," Hermione continued nonchalantly. Cameron still looked nervous. She caught House's eye.

"This'll be fun!" House said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Cameron gulped, and held Ron's hand a little tighter. Ron looked down at her and smiled.

"You'll be fine, I promise," he assured her. "You can hold both my hands if you'd like." Cameron nodded, and they faced each other. Ron held both of her hands tightly in his, warming her fingers against the chilly breeze. Cameron relaxed at his touch.

"Whenever you're ready," Hermione said, rolling her eyes. She closed her eyes and a look of concentration came over her face. Cameron turned to catch House's eye, but before she could, he suddenly, miraculously…wasn't there.

"Oh my God," Cameron breathed.

"You didn't believe us, did you?" Ron asked, slightly hurt.

"I did!" Cameron insisted. "It's just, hard to imagine until you've actually seen someone, you know, disappear into thin air."

"Well, we're next," Ron said, and he closed his eyes like Hermione had. Suddenly, the surrounding trees disappeared from view, and total darkness surrounded them. Cameron couldn't breathe—it felt like her whole body was being squished flat. She tried to scream, but no sound would escape her lips. Then, just as suddenly as they had disappeared, they reappeared in a long, empty alleyway with shops on either side of them. Cameron saw Hermione and House a little ways away.

"Holy shit," House called out. "Cameron, did you see what these shops are selling?" Cameron, who had been focusing on getting her breath back, looked up for the first time. There was a shop called Honeydukes, which seemed to sell candy, but it was obviously not ordinary candy. The window display featured a sign that said, "Blood Lollipops: Perfect for vampires!", and another that read, "Everlasting Gum: One piece is all you'll ever need!" Down the street, Cameron saw a shop called Zonko's Joke Shop. The window display for that one featured a sign advertising love potions, Dungbombs (which Cameron did not even want to contemplate), and Wet Start, No Heat Filibuster Fireworks. Cameron looked at House, who was staring at the joke shop with a sort of loving reverence.

"This way to Hogwarts," Hermione called, and Cameron and House pulled their eyes away from examining the shops. They followed Hermione down the street, and Ron took up the rear. Soon, they had entered a grassy countryside. It culminated in a large forest, but Cameron could see nothing in between.

"Um, how far is Hogwarts?" she asked.

"It's right up there, see?" Ron said, pointing. "We're close." Cameron looked ahead and squinted her eyes, but she could still see nothing.

"I definitely don't see it," House said before Cameron could say the same.

"Oh!" Hermione said. "That's right! Hogwarts is hidden from the eye of muggles. For security purposes, you know? Hogsmeade is too, but since we got you inside, it was okay. And Dumbledore assured us you would be able to get in. I think that once we get to the gate, you'll be able to see it."

Cameron looked at House, who shrugged, and they continued to walk. After about a hundred yards, Hermione stopped.

"Oh, look, here comes McGonagall. Dumbledore said he would send someone to get us." House and Cameron looked at the place where Hermione was looking. They could still see no sign of Hogwarts, nor this person called 'McGonagall', and Cameron was about to say so when suddenly, a wrought iron gate opened out of thin air. Out came a stern looking woman dressed in a long black robe. Cameron fought the urge to laugh. House didn't.

"Hah!" he said. "Nice outfit." The woman glared at him and turned to Cameron.

"Hello, I'm Professor McGonagall. Harry's transfiguration teacher. He was in my class when he became ill."

"I'm Dr. Cameron," Cameron said quickly. "And this is Dr. House. Thanks for letting us look around."

"Not a problem," the woman said with a slight smile, though it did nothing to warm her features. "Follow me, please." She led House and Cameron through the gate that seemed to lead to nowhere. But as soon as they got inside, a large castle miraculously appeared before them. Cameron gaped.

"Nice place," House said casually, with an air of irony. They walked forward on the sloping grounds until they reached the huge front door.

"You two have been excused from classes for the next few days," McGonagall said to Ron and Hermione. "One of you will have to show these doctors around, and the other can pick up some homework to take for Harry and yourselves."

"I'll show them around," Hermione said quickly. Ron looked at her dejectedly.

"Good," McGonagall said. "If you'll excuse me, I have a class to teach in a few minutes. You know where to find me." And with that, she walked off.

"You still have time in the wizarding world?" House scoffed. "What happened to the time machines?"

"We broke them last year when we tried to save the world from You-Know-Who," Ron said with a grin. House looked at him confusedly, but rather than ask Ron to explain himself, he simply gave up and turned to Hermione.

"Alright, do you have some sort of hospital in here?" he asked.

"The hospital wing," Hermione answered. "I can take you there."

"Good," House said, and Cameron noticed a glint in his eye that could only mean trouble.

"Shouldn't we check his dorm and the kitchen first?" Cameron asked. "If he's been exposed to hazardous material, those would be the places he'd be most likely to get it."

"Exactly," House said. "That's why you're going to check there. Have him," he pointed to Ron, "take you."

"But—"Hermione began. Ron's face lit up.

"So this is why you brought me?" Cameron asked. "So I could do the whole thing myself?"

"It's called divide and conquer," House said, rolling his eyes. "Come on, good woman," he said to Hermione, and he began to hobble away. Hermione hurried forward, looking angry.

"What's closer, the kitchen or the dormitory?" Cameron asked Ron.

"Kitchen," Ron said. "It's right through the Great Hall."

"Okay, we'll go there first," she said, allowing Ron to lead her away.

()()()

"Hello, fellow wizards! I'm Dr. House," House said as he burst into the hospital wing. Hermione trailed awkwardly behind him.

"Excuse me, can you please keep your voice down?" a woman scolded him in a whisper. "This is a hospital wing."

"Oh, sorry," House said in a theatrical whisper. He looked around at the beds surrounding him. "My God!" he cried, eyeing one particularly unfortunate girl who had nasty green boils all over her face. "You look awful!"

The girl started to cry and the woman who had scolded him hastily closed the curtains. "What do you want?" she demanded, with a menacing glint in her eye. Hermione quietly left the room.

"Who are you?" House asked.

"I'm Madam Pomfrey, and might I ask what you're doing in my hospital wing?"

"A student here is my patient. I can't remember his name…short, black hair, ugly looking scar on his forehead?"

"Ah, yes, Harry Potter. I assume you need to know what I gave him?"

"Duh," House said. He looked around, glimpsing a cabinet that held vials full of multi-colored liquid. "What are those?" he asked with excitement.

"Never you mind," she said. "I gave him a Relief Potion to take away some of the stomach pain. He was taken to St. Mungo's shortly after. You should ask them. I'm just the school nurse."

"Relief Potion…" House said thoughtfully. "Does it work?"

"More or less," Madam Pomfrey replied, talking in an exaggeratedly low voice, perhaps hoping House would do the same.

"How long does it last?" he asked, ignoring her unspoken request.

"A few hours, I suppose."

"Hmph," House muttered. "You think wizards would have come up with something to get rid of pain entirely."

"We didn't want to cast a spell to numb his nerves!" Madam Pomfrey said defensively. "Otherwise, St. Mungo's might not have figured out what was wrong with him!"

"Spell…to numb nerves…" House was getting excited. "Could you do that spell? Hypothetically. It's medically relevant," he added, seeing the uncomfortable look on her face.

"No, it's extremely advanced magic…I suppose Professor McGonagall or maybe Professor Dumbledore himself would be able to do it…or the Healers at St. Mungo's."

"McGonagall…" The name rang a bell. "Is that the vulture-esque lady who met us at the gate?"

Madam Pomfrey looked reproachful. "If there's nothing else, Dr. House, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. These children need rest." House sighed, and obediently went out into the corridor, where Hermione was waiting.

"Where do the teachers hang out at this place?" he asked.

"Um, the teachers lounge?" Hermione looked bored and angry. House glared at her. Bored and angry was his thing.

"Take me there," he demanded. Hermione sighed and turned on her heel, leading the way.