A/N: It has come to my attention that I might be spelling some of the magical terms wrong, since Microsoft Word says they aren't words anyway, so I can't spell check. So just bear with me :)

"Find anything?" Ron asked, his mouth full of treacle tart. He was lounging against a kitchen counter, which was quite a feat considering it was only about two feet tall and made for house elves.

"Nope," Cameron said with a sigh, brushing her dark hair out of her face. "This place is as clean as the OR."

"Yeah, well the house elves are fanatics," Ron said. "…what's an OR?"

"Operating Room," Cameron said. She was met with a blank stare. "That's where we have to cut people open, you know?"

"Ah," Ron said, looking slightly grossed out. "Well, should I take you to the dormitory then?"

"Couldn't hurt," Cameron said. She assumed the dormitory would be just as clean, but the truth was that she was dying to see more of this interesting school. She allowed Ron to lead her away, grateful to leave the prying stares of the odd creatures called house elves. "So do you and Harry stay in the same dorm?" she asked, trying to make conversation.

"Yeah," Ron said, "with three other guys in our year. Gryffindor sixth year boys."

"What's Gryffindor?"

"Oh. Well, Hogwarts has four houses, Gryffindor, Slytherin, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw. And at the beginning of your first year, the Sorting Hat sorts you into a house, based on your personality and stuff."

"What personality are Gryffindors?" Cameron asked interestedly.

"Brave," Ron said with a slight blush. "Not that I am—I mean, I'm not sure why it picked me."

"And remember all of that, because we're going to quiz you on it later," came a voice from behind them. Cameron whirled around to see two identical boys following them. They were red haired and freckly, and clearly related to Ron.

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" Ron asked, annoyed.

"Wouldn't pass up a chance to see muggles in Hogwarts," one of the boys said.

"Not that we're supposed to know…extendible ears can be handy, though," the other continued.

"She's not a window display," Ron snapped.

"Relax," the first boy replied. "I'm Fred." He held out a hand and Cameron took it. "This is my brother George."

"Pleasure," the other twin said, shaking her hand as well.

"I'm Dr. Cameron," she replied, feeling slightly awkward as they looked at her interestedly.

"So, how's our Harry, then?" Fred asked. "Taking care of him, right?"

"He's…okay," Cameron replied, praying that it was the truth.

"We're going to check out his dormitory for…what was it?"

"Toxins," Cameron said.

"Right," Ron continued. "So anyway…leave."

"Touchy," George said with a mocking smile. "Nice to meet you, Dr. Cameron."

"You too," Cameron said, and the twins went back the way they'd come. "Those are your brothers, right?" she said to Ron.

"How could you tell?" Ron said sarcastically. "Yeah, they basically like to cause trouble whenever humanly possible…here, we're at the common room." He paused in front of a large portrait.

"Um…" Cameron looked at the large pink woman doubtfully. But Ron stood facing her and said,

"Venomous Tentacula!" Suddenly, the portrait swung forward as if on hinges, revealing a small doorway. "After you," Ron said, ushering her inside. Cameron climbed through. She was in a room with lots of chairs and tables, and a fireplace. One boy was writing feverishly in the corner, and barely looked up when Cameron came in. Across the floor were various books and papers. Ron came in after her. "This way," he said, leading her to one side of the room where there was a large, marble staircase. Cameron followed him as the staircase wound its way up, passing by doors at even intervals. All of these doors were closed, and labeled with a number on the front. Finally, the reached the top. The door read '6th Years'.

"This place must be huge," Cameron said in awe. "I mean, how many floors did we walk up just then?"

"Quite a few," Ron said with a laugh. "Pain in the ass, really…" He opened the door and led Cameron inside a large room with five beds, each with red curtains surrounding them that were thrown haphazardly to the side. Clothes and books littered the floor, along with various boxes of sweets and something that looked suspiciously like a cauldron. A small bathroom was on the other side, its door swung open to reveal a congealed mess of toothbrushes, hairbrushes, and shampoo. Cameron was reminded immediately of her brother.

"That's Harry's bed," Ron said, indicating the second bed from the door. He strode over the one next to Harry's and starting kicking clothes under it. He saw Cameron eyeing him. "Sorry. It's a bit of a mess in here."

"It's fine," Cameron said with a smile, heading over to Harry's bed. She pulled on her gloves and began to look for traces of mold or lead paint around his sleeping area. She bent down to the floor, looking under the beds. Ron flopped down on his own bed, watching her.

"You never know what you'll find under a sixteen year old boy's bed," he warned. Cameron laughed.

"Don't worry. There's nothing here that could get him sick." She stood up, and then sat down on the edge of Harry's bed. "So…this is where you live?"

"Yep," said Ron. Cameron looked over at the posters that covered the wall above Ron's bed. They all featured men clad in orange robes, zooming around on broomsticks. And yes, they were actually zooming—the picture was moving. Cameron barely registered it. Nothing could shock her at this point.

"What are they doing?" she asked, pointing to the posters.

"Playing Quidditch," Ron said. "It's a game played on brooms…sort of complicated, I guess. Those are the Chudley Cannons—my favorite Quidditch team."

Cameron looked around the room. Really, she thought, they're like normal teenage boys. Well, except for the fact that they play sports on brooms and do magic spells…

"I should call House," she said, pulling out her cell phone. "Let him know I'm done."

"Whoa," Ron said, eyeing the phone. "What's that?"

"Cell phone," Cameron said. She suddenly remembered that Ron knew as little about her life as she knew about his. "You call people on it."

"Oh yeah, I used one of those once," Ron said. "It was a bit bigger though, and attached to a cord…but I'll warn you, muggle stuff doesn't tend to work so well around here." Cameron dialed House's number and held the phone to her ear. Sure enough, all she could hear was a lot of static. She closed her phone and sighed.

"I guess we should go find him, then."

"We could send him an owl," Ron reasoned. "Since he could be anywhere, really."

"Owl?"

"You know. Bird, wings, goes like this," he flapped his arms theatrically in the air. Cameron giggled. "Don't muggles have owls?"

"Well, yeah, but we don't send them to people."

"The owls carry letters," Ron explained. "Here, we can use Hedwig. She's Harry's owl, she can find anyone. Really smart bird. She's in the owlry, I'll take you." Ron got up from his bed and Cameron followed, wondering what else she was going to find in this odd place.

()()()

It was break time, and the teachers had all made their way over to the teachers lounge for their morning coffee. They were sitting around the table, chatting about their classes. Snape sat in the corner, drinking his quickly. If there was one thing he hated, it was mindless chatter. He drained his cup and stood, heading over to the door and opening it with a flourish. To his surprise, there was a man with a cane outside, lounging against the gargoyles.

"It's about time!" House muttered, pushing past Snape and going into the room. Snape followed him and closed the door, looking at House with confusion. "I need to talk to Professor Dumblydoor, or something like that!" he said loudly.

"And who are you?" Snape drawled.

"Let's see…maybe I'm the doctor who's about to save your student's life? But that's just a guess."

"You're Harry's doctor?" One woman stood up quickly, worry etched on her face. "How is he?"

"Perfect!" House said. "He'll be back to saving the world from…" he fished through his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper, "…Lord Voldemort in no time."

The woman who had stood up gasped and fell back into her chair. A short man down the table spilled coffee all over himself. Everyone else turned pale. House eyed them suspiciously.

"You're all acting like you've committed a murder or something!" House exclaimed. "What's going on?"

"We don't use his name," Snape explained from the door.

"Oh, my bad," House said. "Well anyway—Voldemort!—I need to see—Voldemort!—Professor Dumbledore. Voldemort!" His words were punctuated with gasps and winces. "You guys are too easy!" House laughed. McGonagall looked stern.

"Professor Snape will take you," she said.

"Who's Professor Snake?"

"I," came a voice from the door, "am Professor Snape." House turned around.

"Ah," he said. "Fine. Lead the way, good woman!" Snape simply glared. "Oh, sorry…it worked on the other girl."

"Follow me," Professor Snape said curtly, and he opened the door. Again, he was greeted with an unwanted visitor. Harry's snowy owl, Hedwig, came flying into the room, landing on Snape's head and holding out its leg to House.

"Get this damn thing off!" Snape shrieked.

"Relax, Snake, it's just an overlarge bird," House said, trying to conceal his laughter. "I guess you should have locked those huge doors more tightly."

"It's supposed to be here. It's an owl," McGonagall said from behind him, sounding impatient.

"Do you shoot them down with your wands? Because that would be really cool."

"No, they carry letters, you stupid idiot," Snape said. "Now take the letter off and get the bird off my head!" A stout woman quickly rushed forward and took the owl off his head, checking the letter.

"It says 'House'," she informed the room.

"That's probably me," House said sarcastically. "But who knows? Maybe it's going to someone's 'house'. We should let it fly around for a while."

"Just take it!" Snape said. He was livid. House laughed and took the letter. He ripped it out of its envelope, and immediately recognized Cameron's girly handwriting from when she filled out the forms for his patients.

House—

Found nothing. Meet me in the Great Hall. It's off to the side of where we came in.

-Cameron

"Well, that wouldn't be good, would it?" House said to no one in particular. He scribbled a reply on the back of the paper and rolled it up, tying it back to the owl's leg. Then he turned back to Snape. "Let's go."