Dissidia Madness

Chapter 2: Rikku's House Party

A/N: i dont own any of this junk wouldnt want to anyways. there might be a few grammar mistake i will be rediting it later bare with me here.

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Cloud entered starbucks he began shifting his head around the room.

"Over here Cloud!" a strange voice called from his right.

"There you are Cait Sith, I actually bothered to answer my messages for once since you say you've heard something about Aerith." Cloud sat down across from him.

"Hold on bitch I mean Cloud I need to grab a coffee" Cait Sith hopped off to the clerk.

Cloud was slightly flustered by his insult.

"What can I get you today" The beautiful woman asked from behind her counter.

"let me get a mocha and your number baby" Cait Sith tried to sound as smooth as possible.

"The mocha's coming up and im not some twisted fan girl im not into beastality" She began making his coffee her face never changed.

"Oh come on baby I have a human body you know" Cait tried to convince the vixen but her stone like face remained motionless

"Anything else?" She practically slung his mocha at him.

"Yeah how about your name at least" Cait begged.

"Beatrix, now if you'll excuse me I have other customers to handle" She looked over his head at her next customer.

"Bitch" he walked off crushed by rejection.

Slightly affected by his insult she flinched her hair back and held a fake smile for her next customer.

"Alright Cloud you got questions and I got answers" Cait sat down and sipped at his mocha.

"What have you heard about Aerith" Cloud seemed pensive.

"yeah so I heard some disturbing news about Aerith and Gilgamesh" Cloud looked impatient

"That's all you have to tell me?" Cloud wined while tapping his feet.

"Ok look pretty boy Aerith fucked Gilgamesh face it!"

Cait Sith instantly slew his Mocha into Cloud's face temporarily blinding him. By the time Cloud had wiped his eyes He had to watch Cait Sith make his escape through the back door having his time wasted Cloud began to get furious. A loud laughter caught his attention

"What are you laughing at!?" Cloud was pissed.

"Take a wild guess jackass" Beatrix teased and Cloud stormed out of starbucks.

(In a back alley way)

Sora walked down the long quiet path with his hands in his pockets.

"I'll show that Seifer just wait till Aladdin hears about this!"

Sora bitched out loud attracting attention to himself. Just then a man rushed him at lightning speed and began stabbing him in the stomach violently and quickly with a dagger.

"M-my ectoplasm"

Sora knocked out on the ground and the blonde haired assailant waisted no time raiding his pockets.

"Damn he's broke" The man cursed before hearing police sirens. He made his escape in the sewers.

(Freeway)

The highway was polluted with cars as the environment began to become hostile due to the rush hour.

"Hey dick head why don't you drive faster!"

Irving shouted from his car to Vincent who drove like an old lady.

"I don't care about what you think"

Vincent continued to drive at his speed despite not caring he kept his window down to hear what they were saying.

"You hear that Irving he doesn't care what we do to him" Zell shouted from the passenger side.

"haha go ahead Zell the cops aren't around"

Irving laughed his ass off already aware of what was about to happen. The two were apparently road rage veterans. Zell grabbed four apples and got a good position from Vincent before he started throwing them violently at his face

"ah what the fuck is wrong with you"

Vincent begin fish tailing after being struck in the same spot of his head three times. Zell used his last apple to spin his left wheel out of control causing him to crash.

"GO GO GO!"

Zell shouted and Irving stepped on the gas while the two laughed uncontrollably.

As they drove further ahead they got stuck in another slow paced section.

"Hey look it's Xigbar driving a ford haha what a fag"

Zell pointed. Irving made his way alongside Xigbar and Zell made hand motions for him to roll his window down.

"What the fuck do you damn teenagers want!?"

Xigbar shouted and three black girls could be seen within his car

"do you know what the five fingers said!" Zell shouted over the heavy traffic to him

"what!?"

Xigbar was confused and agitated all at the same time. Irving pulled a little closer and Zell slapped the taste out of Xigbar's mouth. The two knuckle heads drove off leaving Xigbar in the dust.

"Damn teenie boppers just wait til I catch you little fuckers" Xigbar promised himself as he loaded a gun.

(Rikku's House)

"Oh my Tidey whitey your so a shining armor knight coming for me rescue like this ahahaha im such a damsel sometimes"

Yuna slured as she staggered into his arms.

"Rikku! I thought I told you not to give her anymore drinks! she's even more fucked up then last time!" Tidus scolded.

"She drank all of the E&J while my back was turned don't blame me" Rikku dodged the responsibility.

"You mean the whole damn bottle!?" Tidus was stoked. Yuna ran out of his arms and somehow made her way outside.

"Hey tidey look I can walk a straight line"

Yuna took one step and collapsed it was not long after that she began barfing.

"Fuck someone get that bitch a breath mint" Rikku was quite buzzed herself.

Just then a black corvette pulled into Rikku's driveway. A dark haired woman stepped out holding a moogle in her hand. She looked over at the drunken Yuna

"Far too predictable, Rikku you're terrible" Lulu narrowed her eyes at the sight.

"Actually Lu its not my fault this time Yunie took it upon herself to finish off the Erk and Jerk the entire fucking bottle I only got one little shot." Rikku explained

"So your telling me that this light weight was able to down a whole bottle that quickly?" Lulu was in disbelief.

"Im not joking ask her yourself"

Rikku pointed at her cousin. Lulu approached Yuna as she stood up and wiped her mouth.

"heeeey! Lu-dog whats happening?"

Yuna was embraced by Lulu who as usual began playing with her hair and comforting her.

"Nothings happening until Gilgamesh shows up, now Yuna I want to ask you something" Lulu stopped talking when Yuna threw up all over her dress.

"Brutal" Tidus shouted and the enraged Lulu shoved Yuna to the ground.

"Easy Lulu" Rikku ran over and dragged Yuna back into the house.

"DAMMIT YUNA"

Lulu ripped her dress off revealing her sexy under garmets. Just then Cid stuck his head out the window of a near by second story

"Id love to suck on those warlocks!"

He shouted to Lulu who embarrassed, covered her chest and quickly went inside Rikku's house.

(Nighttime-Rikku's House)

The party was full of guest and peers. Axel slammed a quarter on a table successfully landing it in a cup of tequila.

"Hahaha now you have to drink Tifa!" He smiled with a sense of accomplishment.

"Oh you just want to get me drunk don't you?" Tifa drank it up following the rules to the game.

"Alright my turn"

Roxas stated and Tifa stuck her tongue out with the quarter resting on the tip he took it from her mouth while blushing. In the backyard Zell participated in a break dance contest.

"Chug Chug Chug!" Zidane and the others cheered on as Rikku downed some hard liquor.

"Hey look Laguna made It" Irving pointed as Laguna entered with a case of beer in his hand.

"Hey kids check this out" He revealed a bag of dark green weed.

"Pineapple express!" Lulu shouted right away.

"Hah how did you know, I got it from Tera and Aqua cause Garland's stuff is pretty crappy"

Laguna was surprised by Lulu's intelligence.

"Here lets get that beer cold chief" Rikku took it out of his hands and proceeded to the freezer.

"Damn whats that smell yo laguna whats good" Zell approached.

"That's the pineapple express bitch" Laguna handed him the weed and he after huffing it he immediately fell in love.

"Selphie's here she brought some of her hot friends" Irving went outside to go meet her.

"She probably brought Rinoa's ass along oh well as long as Vincent doesn't show up"

Rikku urged them all to come up stairs were Yuna was resting. Squall, Laguna, Zell, and Lulu followed Rikku to her bedroom.

Selphie was excited at the sight of Irving

"hey there cowboy" one of Selphie's friends playfully touched Irving

"hands off Ash this boy toys mine"

Selphie wrapped her self around Irving who carried her into the house pleased with their position.

"Hey wait for us" Dagger ran after the two and Ash followed.

(Rikku's bedroom)

Tidus rubbed Yuna's back as she moaned with her face in the pillow. Just then Zell kicked the door in

"Rise and shine light weight!" he took a seat and the others walked in.

"I feel like the shit stain of the earth…" Yuna raised her head a little.

"Hey Laguna you made it, did Tera give you the shit?"

Tidus greeted and Laguna tossed him the bag.

"Holy fuck screw Garland's old ass, so who knows how to roll I got a wrap!"

Tidus looked around but received no reply.

"none of you boys can roll you must be joking, how absurd hand it over" Lulu took the bag and the wrap and set down.

"Wow Lulu your just full of surprises" Laguna complimented.

"so how in the hell did you learn how to roll" Zell asked as he scratched his head.

"are you kidding? Besaid island is full of weed If you think im good you should see wakka" Lulu licked the paper finishing up quickly.

"Damn even Barets black ass couldn't roll that good" Squall joked.

"Now you know if Baret was here he'd beat your bitch ass down" Tifa said as she entered the room along with Irving and Selphie.

Squall had nothing to say in his defense.

"your just in time its all finished, of course since I rolled it im hitting it first" Lulu responded friskily as she began puffing smoke.

"take a seat cowboy" Selphie pushed Irving into the nearby chair and hopped into his laps.

"save a horse ride a cowboy eh Selphie?" Tidus teased.

"damn straight" Selphie began bouncing in his laps grinding against Irving's groin his hat shadowed over his face only a sly smile could be seen.

"Hey maybe Yunie will feel better if she smokes with us" Rikku suggested

"NO!" everyone shouted at the same time.

"I feel left out Tidey" Yuna tugged at him

"trust me Yuna you don't want this" Tidus shifted the blunt from her as she reached for it

"But I do Tidey, come on aren't you gonna spoil me just a tiny bit" she began rubbing his chest to win him over.

"don't say I didn't warn you" he handed her the blunt and she sloppily placed her mouth over it.

"Don't get it all wet kiddo, just inhale it lightly" Lulu watched Yuna's amateur performance.

Immediately after inhaling it Yuna began coughing heavily

"Yuck" She held her throat

"give me that you silly white girl!" Zell snatched the blunt from Yuna

Just then the door burst open as Cait Sith came charging in

"Aerith and Gilgamesh just showed up" Cait reported to Rikku.

"haha, tell them to wait in the other guest room and keep a look out for that ass face Cloud" Rikku ordered and Cait Sith ran off.

"Dad let me have 20 dollars I wanna buy some flowers for Rinoa" Squall begged Laguna

"Hell no, that's like giving you a whole blunt from my stash, you better get a job bitch" Laguna was cold.

"But Rinoa's gonna have a kid soon" Squall argued.

"Yeah? Bullshit your just trying to copy Zidane. Here's and idea mc donalds is hiring SEED students." Laguna advised as he smoked.

"I let that bitch Yuffie borrow my vibrator she should've been here by now!" a loud voice reached them from downstairs

"lets go check it out Irving" Zell suggested

"You can go do that bullshit as you can see im occupied" Irving wrapped his arms around Selphie's waist.

(Down Stairs)

"Hey guys check out the news Sora got shanked!" Baret turned up the volume.

"tonight at 9pm a little boy was rushed to the hospital with minor knife injuries. The little boy says that his assailant had short blonde hair and a monkey tail" the new reporter leaked.

Zidane watch from the corner as he tucked his tail around his waist.

"hmm.. blonde hair and a tail" Aerith looked over at Zidane who appeared calm.

"Zidane did you shank Sora?" Roxas confronted him immediately.

"I might've done something like that" Zidane answered honestly.

"Well if you fuck with him again you'll have to deal with me if he dies so do I jackass" Roxas admonished.

"Roxas I'd like to see you try. I have a reason for doing it" Zidane urged to explain.

"Why in the fuck did you shank him, not that anyone cares but I mean come on dude" Rinoa consulted him as well.

"You see I just turned 18 last year Garnet's gonna be 17 soon but you know she's jail bait."

"What the fuck does that have to do with anything?" Roxas lifted an eye brow.

"Listen you little jack fuck, Garnet just had my kid and now im wanted for statutory rape. So we're on the run now and we've been jacking people to stay alive, Garnet turned out to be quite the thief just as I thought." Zidane told them.

Rikku over heard as she came downstairs with the others.

"Well your sort of doing him a favor at least no one can punk him in the hospital" Tifa added.

"Just don't turn me in and ill hook you guys up with some Gyashi Greens" Zidane bargained.

"I love Chocobos Alright you got yourself a deal." Rikku agreed.

"more importantly Cloud will be here soon people im gonna teach him a lesson he'll never forget" Gilgamesh reminded them.

"I feel kind of bad for slinging mocha in his face" Cait Sith confessed.

"Don't worry Cait Sith if anything he deserves it" Aerith spoke negatively about Cloud.

"yeah I know im just fucking with you guys haha I'd do it again if I got the chance" Cait joked.

(Side Streets)

Cloud cruised on his motorcycle ignoring several phone calls as he progressed. One text caught his attention from an unknown number. he dialed the number.

"Hello?"

"Who is this"

"you called me bitch you best not piss me off""

"T-this is Cloud"

"oh Cloud its your boy Cid!"

"which one?"

"You know who this is dick breath! Well I just texted to tell you that Gilgamesh fucked your girl friend bwahahahahaha"

"no your lying Aerith is totally into me" Cloud was still in denial.

"aha ha, have a good day Cloud" Cid concluded before hanging up. Cloud arrived at the site parking next to Lulu's car his eyes burned with determination.

Near his motorcycle Auron appeared.

"A little sugar never hurt anyone"

He began pouring a bag of powder into Clouds gas tank.

(Rikku's House)

"Alright I got one, why did the chicken cross the road" Zell questioned.

"Just say why idiot" Lulu demanded impatiently.

"Cause there were some hungry looking Niggas across the street." Everyone laughed except Baret.

"you better quit while your ahead cracker" Baret warned Zell.

"It's just jokes man"

"I don't give a fuck"

A knock on the door caught their attention. Rikku looked through the keyhole.

"It's him. Gilgamesh go upstairs."

Rikku opened the door and gave Cloud a warm smile.

"Hey Cloud! How've you been buddy I can never get a hold of you you must have your phone on vibrate all the time" Rikku greeted.

"where's Aerith" he simply asked.

"why don't you come in" Rikku opened the door and step aside.

He walked in and Rikku glared at him from behind. Everyone made the situation awkward by silently staring at Cloud. Aerith stepped forward and Cloud looked at her with hopeful eyes.

"Baby whats been going on?" Cloud grabbed her by the shoulders.

"what do you care? Your always thinking about yourself" Aerith spoke coldly and he looked at her in disbelief.

"So you fucked him!? Huh tell me did you!?" Cloud shook her before she pushed him back causing him to stagger into a nearby table.

"Yeah I fucked Aerith… twice" Gilgamesh made his way down stairs locking eyes with Cloud.

"Ooooh you hear that you better fight him Cloud" Baret instigated.

"tell me it isn't true Aerith" Cloud even now was still in denial.

"Stop dreaming." Aerith held Gilgamesh as he came to her side.

"oh man looks like Cloud got dumped" Squall spoke loudly from behind him.

"How could you Aerith!? Were supposed to be one" Cloud yelled in a shaking voice.

"How could you?" Gilgamesh pointed at him.

"What? What are you talking about im innocent!" Cloud declared.

Gilgamesh removed his costume revealing his true self.

"Your pathetic Cloud" the familiar voice striked fear into his heart.

"Z-ZACK but how?" Cloud fell to his knees.

"I had to buy Gilgamesh's suit off of him for disguise or Shinra would've had my ass. Then I come back to see my woman and I find you cooped up with her" Zack crossed his hands.

"But I thought you were dead, I was just following your legacy" Cloud made excuses for himself.

"I said you were my living legacy all that means is that you're the looser that tells everyone about MY greatness not yours you fucking idiot. I didn't say to go fuck my girl friend either" Zack approached him.

"so that's it huh, you leave me for him just like that?" Cloud shouted to Aerith.

"I only fucked you because you reminded me of Zack, your like the only person that doesn't know that" Aerith shook her head as her peers laughed.

"how does it feel to be second best Cloud? Must be painful but I cant say im feeling sympathetic" Tifa stood over him smiling erectly.

"and now im going to kick your ass" Zack cracked his knucles as the party formed a circle around the two.

"throw down! Oh man Vivi's missing out" Zidane was amused.

Zack hopped around the space ready to drop Cloud.

"I don't want to fight you Zack" Cloud said sternly.

"Then don't."

Zack delivered a punch to Cloud's face breaking his nose. He fell to the ground but quickly darted outside. The crowd including Zack chased him outside. Cloud made his way to his motorcycle only looking to escape.

"Dammit start! What could possibly be wrong!?" Cloud cried as he failed to escape.

Zack punched him again getting him on the ground once more. He kicked him violently as the crowd cheered him on.

"Oh shit Drive-by!!!" Zell shouted and everyone left Cloud for dead as bullets flew by the scene.

Most of them left all together while others escaped into Rikku's house. A black car was responsible pulling up next to Cloud.

"get up" Xigbar stood over his body.

" I think you've got the wrong guy fool"

Xaldin called from behind wearing a red bandana on his head signaling his involvements which looked awfully odd in his organization outfit.

"blonde spikey hair yeah this is him for sure. He slapped me in the face" Xigbar picked him up by his collar.

"Lets beat his ass then" Xaldin whistled and Mr. Biggs arrived with brass knuckles on along with Reno.

Just then Cloud regained conciousness.

"no! wait!!!" He shouted far too late.

"someones gotta take the fall ya know?" Reno started things off by bitch slapping Cloud.

It was not long after that the 4 jumped him leaving his beaten up body behind.

"not another one" A female appeared and carried Cloud away.

(Rikku's House)

"Cloud got a 3 course ass beating" Ash chuckled along with Rinoa and Selphie.

"your soooo late Auron!" Rikku put her hands on her hips

"I was handling some sugar business" Auron stated.

"why do you keep your hand in your shirt like that, its called a cast you dumb fuck" Squall bagged on Auron.

"whatever you say harry potter" Auron retaliated.

"So are you gonna cheer me up or what?" Rikku put her hands behind Auron's neck

He waisted no time carrying her upstairs.

"Tidus watch the house for me" Rikku managed to say just before her door shut.

"Aye aye captain" Tidus complied before downing his beer.

"Alright guys im taking off see you tomorrow at balamb if you make it exams are next week" Laguna waved.

"Wait laguna, can you give me Aqua's number" Lulu asked.

"sure thing princess" He made her smirk slightly.

"Don't be a stranger" she shook his hand after receiving the number.

"why don't you come by my office tomorrow after school" Laguna flirted.

"don't tempt me" Lulu gave him a lusty stare her resistance was weak.

"suit yourself pretty lady" Laguna came closer he caressed her earring making her blush before he made his graceful exit.

"Kweh!?" a chocobo responded to the Gyashi greens that Zidane used to summon it.

"aw its so cute look Tidey!" Yuna was once again drunk she made her way over to the bird with poor balance.

"Kweh?" it seemed frightened by her disposition.

"its ok birdy here have some brandy" Yuna poured hard liquor in a bowl and placed it on the ground for the chocobo.

"well there goes my ride home" Zidane shrugged as the bird began cosuming the alcohol.

Auron came down stairs only in his pants.

"alright everyone get the fuck out of here now!" Auron demanded before heading back upstairs quickly.

"KWEEEH!!!!"

The drunken chocobo ran out the front door free to roam the world intoxicated.

End of chapter 2