A/N - this bit of silliness was born out of a Tumblr pic and a (probably not serious, but you can't tell me anything) suggestion that someone fic it about Turnadette. I have no shame, so here we are

Patrick couldn't hold back a smile, he never could seem to anymore when he was on his way home from a long day of work - and why should he? he had not been this happy for some time. Shelagh was finally his wife, Timothy had recovered from polio, and they had a beautiful baby girl to love and cherish and spoil. Life was perfect, he thought, taking a deep breath and inhaling the scent of Shelagh's cooking as he opened the door to their flat. Their flat. Would he ever get used to that? He hoped not.

Shelagh grinned instinctively as she heard the knob turn and front door open. She couldn't help it, God had given her everything she never knew she wanted - her life felt perfect. She finally felt that she had found her place and was comfortable in her life with Patrick, Timothy, and Angela. Gone were the days of nervousness, wondering if she were doing things right, if she was following all the unwritten rules she didn't even know. Now she was simply Shelagh Turner and nothing could be better.

"Mmmmmm, something smells delicious!" Patrick said as he entered the kitchen, stepping behind his wife, snaking his arm around her waist and pulling her close as he examined the contents of the cookery on the range.

Shelagh leaned back into his embrace. "It's almost ready" she said, and gave him a quick peck on the cheek before adding, "Welcome home, dear."

"A wonderful welcome indeed" Patrick grinned as he gave her a proper kiss, then leaned over and in a flash, dipped his finger in the potatoes and popped it in his mouth with a wink. "Just a taste dear, it smells so good."

"Patrick Turner!" Shelagh whisper-screamed as she pushed him out of the kitchen, trying desperately to convey her anger without waking Angela from her nap, "you can stay out until it's finished if you're intent upon ruining my dinner!"


The second time Patrick tried to sneak a bite of the meal before it was fully fixed, Shelagh was a little more prepared. It was another evening, about a week later, only this time when he reached his hand out during their kiss, Shelagh deftly reached out and batted it away, much to Patrick's surprise.

"You're learning quick, love," he smirked, then picked her up by the waist, spun her around, and helped himself to a couple of carrots before Shelagh pushed him aside with a playful smack.

"You're going to regret beginning this with me, Patrick Turner!" she vowed with a gleam in her eye.


It was, in fact, that look that she'd had on her face that had Patrick a little worried to try it again too soon. While he enjoyed teasing his wife, he thought perhaps it might be best to make her think she'd won - at least for a little while. But then he came home and smelled it - bangers. How could he resist that? Fried, delicious, mouth-watering sausage.

"Good evening, dear, how was your day?" he asked innocently as he sauntered into the kitchen.

"Don't even think about it, Patrick" she said, without even looking back at him.

"I don't know what you're talking about, dear!" he inwardly cursed that he clearly wasn't going to be able to take her by surprise, but was determined to press forward anyway, and took another step closer, attempting to formulate a plan.

"I mean it! We have company tonight and I will not have my dinner ruined by your fingers poking where they don't belong!" Shelagh pointed a spoon at him with her left hand, her right fingering something in the pocket of her apron.

Throwing caution to the wind, Patrick reached his hand out and was just hovered over the dish when he felt a sharp jab on the side of his hip. "Ow! What on earth?!" he cried, looking down at Shelagh.

"I told you, I will not have my dinner ruined!" She held up a hat pin, long and thin and sharp, and put it right in front of his face, using the threat of it to back him out of the room. "If you try it again, Doctor," she remarked with a mischievous grin, "it will go in your gluteus maximus!" And she gently placed the hat pin upon the counter beside the range, where it remained throughout their happily ever after.