Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling, only Nia, Bella and anyone not in the books belong to me
A/n: Hey!! God I'm sorry! So, so sorry. There isn't even an excuse really. What have I been doing all this time? Fuck knows. Sorry again and I really hope you like it!!
Oh also, I did a little bit of rewriting (so that's what she was doing!) but nothing major, you don't need to backtrack or start again or anything. It was more along the lines of smoothing out details.
**The Lights Are All Out **
"Is everyone on?" James asked looking around on a platform which was suddenly empty, save for himself and Lily.
"Yeah, they are" Lily replied glancing at her watch and then looking up "James! It's moving" she alerted, noticing the engine moving forwards.
"Crap" he said, they jogged to the very first compartment, the Head's compartment, and jumped in.
Lily frowned at the empty compartment and wondered if she'd forgotten to tell her friends to join her in there.
"I've got something to show you" James said, taking out his wand. Intrigued, she looked up.
She heard a lock click and a piece of parchment floated out into her vision which she took obligingly. Scanning the words that James had written, she wasn't entirely sure what she was meant to be doing with it.
"This is the Potions essay we did for homework, isn't it?"
James nodded smugly "I handed it in late, only just got it back at breakfast" noticing her puzzlement, he urged "look properly!"
Lily obeyed and looked it over again, this time a large 'E' in a circle jumping out at her.
"An E! James, that's brilliant!" she applauded, he smiled proudly.
"I know! Who'd have thought? It's all thanks to you though; my dad is going to be so happy that I'm pulling my marks up"
Lily nodded and banished the essay back to James' trunk with her own wand "is he tough, your dad?"
"Not obsessive tough like some people's parents but you know, he knows what I'm capable of and doesn't want me wasting my time, under-achieving"
"Fair argument"
Just then, five people burst into the compartment, unannounced and led by Remus.
Lily sighed as she saw the three boys that accompanied Nia and Bella. They were nice, all three of them and interesting in their own way but they hadn't always been her friends.
Since September, she'd had to put up with a lot more of them than she was accustomed to. They'd always sat together in the hall, since first year, due to being in the same year and the same house. But they had never really bothered with her and vice versa.
Fourth year had brought her into more contact with James and Sirius but they'd managed to keep their relationships cordial and distant. Fifth year and sixth year saw the beginning of a good friendship with Remus Lupin but it stopped there.
And now she was here. Good friends with James, definitely friends of some sort with Sirius, still good friends with Remus and past cordial with Peter.
It had happened without her realising it and looking at Nia and Sirius holding hands, she thought she'd simply have to admit that the Marauders had in some way or another become her friends. Not close perhaps, but there was definitely a tie and being around them had become something of a given.
"There you are!" Bella said "we've been looking all over for you"
"Sorry, I thought I'd told you to meet me here but I must've forgotten" Lily apologised.
"Evidently" the brunette remarked and looked around with great interest "well this is a disappointment"
"What do you mean?" Nia asked.
"This compartment. It looks exactly like all the other compartments!"
Lily frowned "why wouldn't it be like the other compartments?"
"Because it's all exclusive! You'd think, wouldn't you, that being all secretive, it'd be rather spectacular but it's so ordinary" she said with a wrinkled nose.
"Well what did you think it was going to be like?" Remus asked in amusement.
"Oh I dunno, maybe gold leaf wallpaper and a sumptuous feast laid out over a vast mahogany table" Bella described in histrionic tones.
"Bella, you're such a freak"
"What? Don't tell me you've never imagined what the Head's compartment was like?" she asked, looking round. They shook their heads, a few of them barely holding in their laughs.
"I have" Peter said, holding up his hand reluctantly. The brunette looked smug and put an arm around him.
"See?"
They all took a seat and began talking animatedly, bantering with each other.
Lily was not joining in. Lily was not able to join in. She stared out of the window; her emerald eyes reflected in the glass imperfectly, her gaze was distant and out of focus. She simply sat there, her consciousness cut off.
Lily didn't notice Remus walk out twenty minutes later to find Kate and she didn't see Nia and Sirius leave to find an empty compartment. The world went past her in a blue and green haze.
It seemed like she'd sat there for an eternity before she was recalled to the present.
"Lily? Are you okay?" Bella asked.
Her eyes blinked and the world snapped into place. The colours were restored and the staggering of the train roared in her ears.
She turned abruptly; thoughts returning, flustered and jumbled. "Huh? What?" she looked at the other girl blankly for a second "oh…yeah, of course"
"We've been asking you if you wanted to play exploding snap for an age"
"Sorry, I wasn't thinking" she mumbled and swivelled round to join their game.
Three or so hours so later, the Hogwarts Express drew to a halt at the hidden platform 9 ¾. The younger students crowded at the doors to get out and go home. Lily watched them with amusement, stepping onto the platform without hassle from her Head's compartment.
She looked away from the train and glanced at all the eager parents waiting for their children to reach them. They made her smile a little bit. Half-appreciatively, half-wistfully.
Lily narrowed her green eyes at the crowd, searching. It was as she was stood on tiptoes and craned her head that she felt a slight tap on her shoulder.
"Lily?" Bella voiced, the redhead turned to face her enquiringly "they're not coming"
How many times had she heard that? She shrugged "I know, come on"
They walked off to say goodbye to Nia and then went in search of Leo and Annie.
They found Leo easily enough but Annie was still saying goodbye to Jake.
"It's only fair, I suppose" Bella said as they watched the couple kiss.
"Yeah but it is making you a little bit sick, right?" Leo asked, her perfect nose wrinkled slightly.
Lily laughed and Bella nodded "yeah it is, let's turn away before they start rubbing noses" she muttered, shaking her head.
Lily rolled her eyes at the pair of them "jealous much?"
Leo's eyes widened in outrage "I am not jealous! Just disgusted"
"I'm jealous" Bella said "and disgusted"
"Yeah, I suppose I am too" Leo added fairly and pointed at a boy nearby "d'you think he'd have me?"
The two seventh years looked at her, with identical unimpressed expressions.
"What? There's nothing wrong with-" but exactly what there was nothing wrong with, they never discovered as, at that moment, Leo's grey eyes fell upon a face.
She made a noise of delight and threw her arms around her big brother.
"Fred!"
"Leo!" the man cried, mocking her and hugging her back.
Bella laughed and Lily's face broke out into a wide, unrestrained beam as they made their way towards him.
Frederic Aldringham, like his sisters, was very good looking. They all resembled each other in their way, but he resembled Bella more.
His hair was chestnut, like hers, and curly and fell into his face. He was tall, standing at 6'0. He had the high cheekbones and the nose but his jaw was a lot stronger. He had Bella's dimple in his left cheek but unlike all of his sisters, his eyes were blue.
Bella stood up on her tiptoes to hug her older brother and then his eyes alighted upon Lily.
They hugged, swaying slightly. She laughed, feeling her insides jolt a little bit. It had been years since she'd gotten over her schoolgirl crush but having Fred hug her still made her react. She knew it always would.
"God, you look amazing. Dinner, me and you tomorrow night, yeah?"
"Absolutely" Lily said and laughed as he reached over to kiss her cheek.
"Fred! Stop it!" Bella protested, frowning heavily at him. She wasn't the only one.
James watched a dark haired man lean over and kiss Lily on the cheek. And she let him. His hazel eyes narrowed in suspicion.
"Mum, who's that guy?" he asked of his mother who was currently busy fawning over the deterioration in Remus' health.
"What dear?" she asked, distractedly.
"That guy over there, standing with the Aldringham girls" James elaborated, pointing very discreetly.
"Oh. Him. That's Frederic Aldringham, their brother. Who's that girl with them? They look awfully cosy don't they?" Mrs. Potter commented as they watched Fred throw an arm around Lily and draw her in.
"I didn't know he had a girlfriend" the woman whispered conspiratorially.
"That's not his girlfriend" James answered hastily. His mother's eyebrows rose and she nodded.
"Ah, I see. I suppose it fits though, I've heard he's quite the rogue. Not a surprise of course, considering how handsome he is" Mrs. Potter gossiped.
"Handsome? He's alright, if you're into that. But he's not handsome, I'm handsome" James replied, a tad sulkily. Sirius barked at his words.
"Of course you are darling" she said, attempting to flatten her son's hair "so who did you say that girl was?"
"Lily Evans, she's the head girl. She's the seeker on my team as well"
"Oh, so she'll be a friend of the oldest girl, what's her name now?"
"Bella, yeah"
"Bella you're so predictable" Bella's brother teased, making his little sister push him. He grinned, put an arm around Lily and drew her closer to him tauntingly.
Lily laughed at Bella's tight expression and shaking head "none of that, thank you! I know what you're like; I've heard the stories, Freddie. Lily is not one of those girls, you understand? She's come to be a guest, not your Christmas tart"
"Please. If I could get my hands on Lily, I'd be a kept man" he declared gravely.
Even Bella laughed at that "oh I've missed you, Fred, you twat! Let's go home"
"I would, except it seems we've misplaced that other one" he said, casting an eye around.
"Has she still not come?" Bella wondered aloud.
"Who's that boy Annie's with?" Fred asked, spotting his sister with Jake.
Leo and Bella exchanged nervous glances, unsure of how he would react when they told him.
"Woah! Hang on, what the hell is he doing to her?" he demanded as he saw Annie and Jake kiss.
"Fred, don't have a spaz okay? That's just Annie's boyfriend" Bella explained cautiously.
"Her what now? She can't possibly have a boyfriend, she's like twelve" Fred protested.
"Try sixteen" Leo offered helpfully.
He frowned "no that can't be right because you're" he paused, working it out "sixteen, so that would make her…"
"Sixteen" the blonde answered "twins. Remember?"
Lily turned to Bella discreetly "you sort him out. I'll get Annie away. Meet you outside" she whispered, the brunette nodded and Lily slipped off, still able to hear Fred and Leo arguing.
She walked up to the couple who were still exchanging promises to write every other day and such.
"Annie! We have to go" the redhead muttered.
"What? Oh, one more minute, I promise" the girl pleaded.
Lily shook her head "I don't think so Annie. Fred's seen you and he's not happy. When I left, Leo had only just convinced him that you were not in fact twelve and therefore more than capable of having a boyfriend"
Annie cast an anxious glance over the other girl's shoulder "crap. I suppose you're right then"
She turned back, gave Jake a quick kiss and a hasty goodbye before hurrying away with Lily.
They crossed over and met in the car park where the three siblings were stood next to a terribly ugly BMW.
"I didn't know you drove Fred" she said, smiling.
"Matter of fact, I don't. But the little ones can't apparate so I had to bring it around"
"But if you can't drive, then how did you get it here?" Lily asked, puzzled.
"Magic, of course. Except at one point, I forgot to pretend and leant over to get something out the back. There were some very confused muggles in the car next to me" he said, thinking back.
His sisters giggled while Lily rolled her eyes.
"Ah. So I'll drive then, shall I?" she offered dryly.
They loaded the trunks into the magically expanded boot, climbed in and set off.
"So how've you been Fred?" Annie asked "we barely saw you in the summer. You were off with that girl, what's her face?"
"Fiona, yeah. Mistake" he answered, shaking his head.
"Aw, was she? What a surprise!" Bella said mockingly.
"Shut up you"
And so the drive carried on for another hour finally reaching a large country house somewhere on the outskirts of London and Berkshire.
The trunks were banished quickly and they proceeded to the door which was swung open before they'd even had the chance to reach out a hand to the knocker.
"Oh, finally! Where have you been? I've been checking the windows every five minutes to see if you'd pulled up!" exclaimed a woman, throwing her arms around the nearest girl she could get to, Annie.
"Mum, let them in first" Fred said, his mother stepped aside to allow them entry before hugging them all.
Helen Aldringham was the kind of mum Lily had always wanted. Sweet, understanding and just the right amount of fussy.
She was a very well-looking woman for her age with far more grace than actual beauty. She was thin and of average height, most resembling Fred. Though traces of her could be found in all four them, mostly through expression.
She had long, fading dark curls, a face in which the lines were beginning to show and youthful blue eyes that never aged.
Her features were pretty but not pronounced enough to have the stunning, aristocratic look that her children had. Her cheekbones weren't high enough and she definitely didn't have the nose but did have the dimple that Fred and Bella had inherited.
"Oh Lily dear, you look wonderful, how are you?"
"I'm fine, thank you. And thank you for having me at such short notice" Lily answered, hugging Helen back.
"No, no, I'm just happy you're with us this year. You look beautiful!" she began to usher them into the kitchen "as do you all. So who's managed to get themselves a boyfriend?"
"Just Annie" Leo replied.
Helen turned to the other, delighted "have you? Oh Annie darling, that's wonderful! Who is he?"
"Jake Havering"
"Oh, Jake! He's a lovely boy and such sweet parents. Well good for you, sweetheart. And what about you two?" she asked.
Leo and Bella grinned and shook their heads.
"Well I don't know why my children are all so averse to a little commitment. You're both such pretty girls, much prettier than I ever was, you could have anyone you wanted" Helen muttered, shaking her head.
Bella laughed "oh mum, I missed you"
"Well thank you dear, I missed you too" she replied with a smile before turning to Leo "what about James Potter, Leo? Wasn't he taking you to that party?"
Leo shrugged "yeah but nothing really happened"
Helen frowned as she began to hand out plates "what do you mean nothing happened? He is a boy, isn't he?"
All four girls snorted.
"Decidedly, yes. I just got the feeling he had his eye on someone else"
"Oh I see. Ah well, it happens. I wish him luck anyway"
"As do I" Leo stated, sending a sidelong glance to Lily. Bella, noticing this, frowned.
Later on that evening while Lily was taking a few of her things out of her trunk, a firm knock was heard at her door.
"Come in!" she called and turned to see Fred smiling at her "oh hey, what's up?"
"Nothing much. You know Nilly can do that for you, right?" he asked, referring to their house elf.
"I know but I'm already here so I thought I might as well" she explained, letting her cat out to rest on the bed.
"Fair enough. We still on for tomorrow night?" Fred asked, amusedly watching her iron out a set of robes with her wand.
"Sure. Can we not go anywhere too swish? I just want to chill out a little, bit of a chat, you know?"
"Yeah, I know. Leaky Cauldron alright for you, love?" he asked.
Lily looked around at him with a smile she reserved just for him "oh yeah! That's perfect. I could do with a few of Tom's drinks"
"You are my ideal girl, have I told you that?" he said, conversationally.
"Many times"
Lily picked out a dress and looked over it with a frown; she then turned to the mirror and held it up against herself. All the while, Fred studied her intently.
"You've changed" he declared.
Lily paused and looked at him, intrigued "have I really?"
"Yeah, you weren't like this at Easter. I can sense it"
"Is that a bad thing?" she asked uncertainly.
"No, no. It's a good change. You're- you seem…surer of yourself" Fred said thoughtfully.
"Oh"
"Like, for instance. You've agreed to go with me to the Leaky Cauldron. You'd never have agreed to go with me six months ago. You'd have chickened out and met in the kitchen at midnight, as per"
She thought about it for a second and came to the conclusion that he was right. It was a slightly scary realisation "I suppose I would have"
'So what's happened then?' he asked.
"Nothing too thrilling. I suppose leading all those meetings and handing out all those detentions finally caught up with me. And I've made a few new friends"
"Good for you. I always said you needed to get out more"he teased.
She made a face at him "shut up. So, have you been gathering material to pour out to me?"
"Loads of it" Fred answered promptly.
"I don't understand why you don't just write me" Lily remarked, now holding up an old lavender dress to herself in front of the mirror.
"It's not the same. Besides this is tradition, sort of"
They exchanged a warm look through the mirror, sharing the same memory.
Lily remembered it vividly. Every heart-wrenching, petrifying moment of it.
She'd been an anxious first year entering one of the classrooms, in search of a mislaid Charms book.
She had opened the door, as quietly as possible, and lo and behold, there, sitting upon a desk, broodingly chewing on a sugar quill, sat the love of her life. Or so she'd thought.
He had looked at her searchingly, rooting her to spot completely. She had stared at her feet for about five minutes when finally –heart hammering, lungs constricting and stomach fluttering- she managed to ask him if anything was wrong.
Within minutes, he had handed her a sugar quill and was confiding all his troubles to Lily who listened sympathetically and somewhat raptly.
"Sally Briars, wasn't it?" Fred questioned abstractedly, Lily nodded.
"Yeah, yeah I remember. She was my first proper girlfriend, I think. Never liked another girl the way I liked Sally Briars" he mused, almost to himself.
She smiled understandingly "I know"
"Ah well" he glanced at his watch "oh, I'd better get going"
"Meeting someone?"
"Yep. Some girl called…Lisa Madding"
Lily frowned. Madding. Madding. Lisa Madding…Laura's sister. Why was it sending up a red flag? Madding…
"Oh" Lily cried, waving a hand as it came to her.
"What?"
"Be careful with that one" the redhead warned.
"Why?"
"Her parents died in that muggle killing a few weeks ago"
"Are you serious? Poor thing. Well that changes everything" Fred muttered.
"Like what?" Lily enquired.
"Like I can't take her back to my flat afterwards because she'll start crying in the morning and hate herself"
Lily had to roll her eyes "just give her a good time. Keep her mind off things" she advised.
"Will do. Thanks for the heads up, Lily" he answered, not altogether cheerfully.
"Anytime" she replied as he left the room.
"So, I never asked you: how was dinner with Fred the other day?" Bella asked, critically surveying a set of robes in a tiny boutique buried at the end of Diagon Alley.
Lily shrugged "it was good. Laid back, fun, nice, as always"
"Oh good. Did he ask you to be his date for the Ministry party?"
"He did. I said yes"
"Of course you did" the brunette muttered.
Lily narrowed her eyes "that was unnecessary"
"Maybe but it was just a comment, you know. About how you'd let Fred walk all over you" Bella said with mock off-handedness.
"No, I wouldn't. Don't be ridiculous" Lily said defensively.
Bella laughed "yes you would, you so would. You're such a pushover with him; it's a little bit pathetic"
"Huh. Big words from someone small enough to be blown away by the wind"
The other girl's jaw dropped but her eyes laughed "oh! That was cheap. So, so cheap. But I suppose you're right, BFG"
Lily stared at her for a second and then burst out laughing against her will, shoving her best friend "you're such a bitch"
Bella smiled back and shook her head "I guess but you know I love you really" she paused for a second, picking out her words "which is why, I just want you to be careful"
"Careful about what, Bella?" Lily asked, throwing a black shift dress over her arm.
"About Fred" the other girl said resigned, her friend gave her a look "no, I'm serious, I really am. Look, I love Fred, he's a great brother but when it comes to girls, he's a dick, a truly, truly awful dick and I know you have soft spot for him and I can't not warn you and let him exploit it"
"Bella-" Lily started in protest.
"No, listen; just watch yourself with him alright. I would actually never forgive myself if he screwed you over. I don't want to see it happen to you so just don't let him, you know, get too chummy or, or try to win you over or anything because he doesn't mean any of it. Ever"
Lily was touched. A little exasperated but touched nevertheless that Bella cared about her enough to say things about her brother that she would never say normally and that probably weren't enjoyable for her to put out there.
She smiled at her petite friend "I know! Trust me I do. What do you think we do at these meetings? We talk about his girls. I'm not going to let him pull one on me and he wouldn't dare. Trust him a little bit. I just wanted a date and we get on"
Bella looked at Lily incredulously "you just wanted a date? And you chose Fred? When anyone could have been your date?"
"Oh I'm sorry, I forgot to ask, is your boyfriend…oh, but wait! You don't have one. Shame" Lily said, grinning deviously.
"Funny. Oh so funny. Fine, have your date and be merry while I am merrier, getting off with whoever I want, whenever I want, while you're stuck to one person's side, all night long. And I'm the loser" Bella argued, raising her eyebrows. They giggled and continued shopping.
"Sometimes I do wish I had a boyfriend" Bella said candidly.
Lily gasped theatrically "sacre bleu! What is the world coming to?" she said sardonically.
Bella glared "shut up"
"Well why don't you just get one then, you idiot?" Lily's green eyes darted to the window, outside of which a guy was walking past "I bet he'd be your boyfriend"
Bella looked too but passed no judgement "do I really need one though? I mean, really"
"Did you really need those shoes you just bought?" the other asked.
"No" the brunette replied in confusion. Lily looked at her significantly and shrugged.
"So, what? I should just take one for fun?"
"Generally how it goes"
"But-but they're not fun! I mean the one month ones are, but the proper, full-on, long term ones aren't"
"How would you know?" Lily asked, amused "you've never had one"
"True. Although, John Gregory did last three months, if you'll recall. Not the point" Bella said, shaking her head "the point is, I just know they're not fun"
Lily moved on to a dress she'd spotted by the corner of her eye without looking at her friend, it all seemed rather deliberate "that's not really why you won't take one"
Bella narrowed her grey eyes and watched Lily carefully examine the dress before sighing in defeat.
"No I suppose you're right, that isn't it"
"I think I'm going to get this dress. So why don't you tell me what it is then?" Lily said, careful not to sound intrusive. It was essential, when speaking with Bella, not to sound intrusive in any way. It was one of the few traits they had in common.
The other girl gave no answer until Lily had already paid for the dress and they had left the shop.
It was as they made their way down to the central shopping area that she began "it's just all so weird"
"What is?"
"The whole long-term relationship business, especially at Hogwarts, Look at my parents, started going out in sixth year. Twenty five years later, they're happily married with four kids"
"I think it's sweet" Lily argued.
"It would be sweet if it was a one-off but it's not a one-off. That's how it goes at Hogwarts. It's like, come for an education and get a life partner free!" Bella exclaimed with false cheeriness before heaving another sigh.
"Is that what you're trying to avoid? Accidentally meeting the right person?"
"That's a part of it, I guess. It's more than that though. It's like…I'm eighteen! I barely know what I'm doing with myself after this year's over; let alone what I'm doing for the rest of my life. And I-I don't want to know what I'm doing, I'm too busy keeping away from all of that"
"But Bella, you do need to think about it" Lily suggested timidly.
"Who says I do? I shouldn't have to, it's too much"
The tall, red haired girl kept silent for a moment, looking at her feet with troubled eyes. When she spoke again, it was in a voice of eerie calm.
"Not that I enjoy breaking in on this little world that you've built yourself but our world, the real one, is in the middle of a war" she stated.
Bella's clear grey eyes met her emerald ones. They look frightened and pleaded for Lily not to go on.
"There could be a death eater hiding round the next corner, right now. Just waiting to kill a mudblood or a surviving member of one of the oldest pureblood families around. We're perfect targets"
Bella opened her mouth but Lily wasn't done.
"So wake up and figure yourself out because yes, you're eighteen but that might be all you have and I don't want to have to go to your funeral and cry about the fact that you never bothered to do anything with yourself" she finished in the same, steady, dangerous tone of calm.
"I'm telling you, it's all very suspicious looking" came a familiar voice.
"I dunno, I'm not convinced" came another uncertainly.
"You're not convinced? You didn't see the way he looked at her when she danced! And after that first one, all he did was look over at that table she was sat at. And as soon as someone came to cut in, he was happy to pass so he could make a beeline for her"
"Are you sure though? I mean there could be a million other things going on there"
"Maybe. But at the end of the day, I saw what I saw"
"You saw what?" Lily asked Leo, as she walked into the kitchen "who are you guys talking about?"
Bella and Leo exchanged glances and shook their heads simultaneously "nothing, just someone, you know" the former said dismissively.
Lily nodded and looked between the two sisters calculatingly before dropping it to grab some cereal.
"Bella, I'll talk to you later, I need to find Annie" the younger girl said, before leaving the kitchen.
Neither of remaining two said anything to each other.
"Bella?" Lily started carefully, focusing on her breakfast as hard as she could.
"Yeah?"
"I'm sorry about losing my temper and-um, saying those things to you. I just get really worried about all of this"
Here, she looked up at Bella who offered her a feeble smile.
"I know, I do too. I just deal with it the wrong way"
"Don't say that. You should deal with it however you want; I just lost it a little bit"
"No, you were right. One of these days, I'm going have to get over those articles and those figures and just work some stuff out but I'll do it, I promise"
Lily smiled at her reassuringly when the doorbell rang. The brunette rose "I'll get it" Lily returned thoughtfully, to her breakfast.
"Lily! Someone's here to see you!" Bella voice called a moment later.
Lily frowned and got up to leave as well. Someone was here to see her? How odd.
"Oh my God" she said upon seeing a blonde, bony, rail thin woman standing frigidly in the entrance hall.
"Hello Lily" her sister said politely.
"Petunia? What are you doing here?" Lily asked, folding her arms.
"Well it's lovely to see you too" Petunia snapped. Her little sister rolled her eyes. Bella broke the tense silence.
"So Lily, this is your sister?"
"Hm? Oh yeah. Petunia, Bella Aldringham. Bella, this is my sister Petunia"
They shook hands, Petunia let go almost immediately "you have a lovely home" she said curtly, coldly.
Bella glanced at Lily as she replied "thank you. Why don't I leave you two to talk in the living room? Lily?"
Lily sighed in response "yeah, okay. Come on, Petunia" she said, drawing out her sister's name mockingly while leading her to the living room.
The redhead took a seat in her favourite armchair watched in distaste as the other seemed to debate whether or not to sit down.
"Just sit down. Don't be so rude, you're a guest" the younger said disdainfully. Petunia glared and took a seat.
"Now. What do you want?"
"I came to tell you I've gotten engaged" Petunia Evans declared haughtily.
At this, all the dislike and scepticism was dropped and Lily's face broke into a genuine smile "oh my God! Tuney, that's amazing, congratulations!" she cried.
Petunia smiled "thanks"
"Show me the ring" Lily went to her sister's side to admire the jewellery. Once this had been dutifully analysed, she asked "so when's the wedding?"
"It's in March"
"March? That's like, less than three months away"
"I know but it's not going to be a big wedding"
"It's not going to be a big wedding? Did you fall down and hit your head? Or have you just not met mum and dad? What are you talking about?" Lily questioned.
"Actually, mum and dad would like it to be a…quieter affair"
Lily narrowed her eyes "mum wants it to be a quieter affair? Whose mum are you…wait" she paused, being struck by a thought "what did you say Vernon did again?"
Petunia smiled, her eyes twinkling a little in the sunlight "he owns a company that makes drills" she answered joyfully.
Lily whistled and grinned appreciatively "I bet that went down well"
"Oh, like a storm. They absolutely detest him! It's brilliant"
The other girl laughed "well good for you! It's what you always wanted"
"I know. So, will you be in the wedding?" Petunia asked.
"Sure, hand me my bridesmaid's dress and we're ready to go"
"Actually Lily, you're-um, not going to be a bridesmaid" the blonde said nervously.
"No?"
"No I was-I was wondering if you'd…um, mind giving me away?"
Lily was shocked, so much so that her mouth fell open.
"Of course I wouldn't mind but what about dad?"
"Don't think he'll mind, he's trying to keep a low profile at this wedding anyway. And besides the giving away thing is like a symbolic…giving away. But dad's not giving anything away really, if you think about it. You are. It all makes sense"
"Well if you're sure then yeah! I'd love to"
"Great. So that's sorted. There's something else Lily, it's why I bothered actually coming down here" Petunia said.
"What is it?"
"You see, I told Vernon about your…you know"
"Yeah" Lily replied, resisting the urge to roll her eyes.
"And, well, he's not exactly happy about it"
"Right"
"He says I'm not allowed to see you after the wedding"
There was a stunned silence. Lily stared at her sister blankly.
"Y-you're not allowed to see me anymore?" she repeated in question. Her eyes were wide and almost afraid looking. Like a frightened child.
Petunia, seeing this, put a hand on her sister's shoulder and smoothed her hair in a somewhat motherly fashion.
"No, I'm not. I'm sorry Lily" she whispered apologetically.
"But-but it's me and you, it's always been me and you. What will I do?" Lily asked softly, almost to herself.
"I know. I know, but you'll be fine without me. I know you will. Think about it, you have your friends and you're always welcome with them. And you're leaving school this year and then you'll get a job and just do your own thing"
Lily didn't answer, Petunia continued "look, you're a pain in the arse but I don't want to not be able to see you either"
"Then why are you marrying him?"
"Because I love him, of course. And because" she stopped, looking for the words "I don't know how to explain, you won't understand"
But Lily did understand "he's your way out" she said simply.
"Yeah, he is. You do get it, don't you Lily? You're not angry?"
Lily nodded "yeah, I get it. I'm not angry"
They said nothing for a few minutes.
"I brought your presents. Christmas and birthday" Petunia said.
"They'd better be good if I'm not allowed to see you again"
"They are but don't open them yet, okay?" Petunia instructed, the motherly tone returning.
"Okay" Lily answered obediently, taking the presents and banishing them to her room and the tree respectively.
"I'd better go" the older sister proclaimed, getting up.
"Okay"
Lily led Petunia back to the door and hugged her before seeing her out.
Bella, hearing the door shut, ventured out of the kitchen to be met by a stunned Lily.
"Lily?" she called tentatively.
"Her fiancé says she can't see me anymore" Lily mumbled helplessly "what will I do?"
"Oh Lily" Bella stood on her tiptoes to hug her best friend "come on, let's get you upstairs"
Lily stared at her reflection in the mirror blankly. Looking at her face but not really looking.
This was it for her, Lily thought, thinking back to home. The end of the road really. There was no Petunia left to fall back on and technically speaking, she didn't have much of a mother or a father.
It started with four and then two and then there was one. Except that there had never been four. Not even the day she had been born, had there been four. It wasn't that they were bad parents as such, they were just…they weren't parents.
And although this was something Lily had grown up being accustomed to, it had always been a comfort to know that she wasn't alone.
No matter how irritating that comfort had been, it had been nice to know that she had a family. Even if it was Petunia, who hated magic and who bickered just for the fun of it and who could never shut up moaning.
Now there would be nothing, just an aisle and a wedding and some smiles and then she would return to the big house. Alone.
"Lily?" called a faraway voice. Lily blinked and suddenly found herself looking at a mirror, at herself and behind her head was Bella's, poking through the door.
"Oh hey"
Bella took the liberty of letting herself in "are you going to start getting ready?"
"I have, I just put on my makeup" Lily replied vacantly.
Bella frowned and looked more closely at her friend's reflection "really? It doesn't show"
"That's the point" Lily said, almost glumly.
"You do look prettier though"
"Thank you, I think"
Bella nodded and looked down at her hands "a-are you going to be okay? You've seemed a bit…out of it since that….thing…with your sister" she said awkwardly.
Lily nodded "I'll be fine. I am fine" she lied.
"Good" Bella said as awkwardly as before. Her grey eyes looked around the room before settling on the robes that were laid out on the bed. She stared and picked them up carefully.
"Oh my god, are these the robes you're going to wear?" she asked excitedly. Lily nodded in response.
"Lily, they're beautiful! I am actually in love. And I get the whole makeup scene you've got going. It's perfect" she laid the robes down again and sighed "you're so much better at this than I am, it's rather depressing. What d'you think I should do with my face?"
Lily had to blink as she took in her friend's speedy words and fought the smile on her face "what are you wearing again?"
"The silvery gauze robes. Oh and speaking of which, what about my hair?"
"Um…try taking the front lot of your hair, pinning it at, like, the nape your neck and just leave it like that. And…make your eyes dark but no eyeshadow and don't use black eyeliner, use grey. Black's too much. Oh and leave everything else minimal" Lily said, trying to imagine the robes on her friend.
"Oh okay, thanks" Bella said, making a mental note "oh! Brainstorm!"
Lily eyed her with misgiving "what?"
"Are you going to wear a necklace with these robes?"
"No"
"Good, you shouldn't. But you know what you should wear?" she continued without waiting for a response "pearls! Not a lot of pearls. Just one in each ear. They make you look…delicate"
"I know" Lily said reflectively, thinking about Bella's contribution "d'you think it would look okay?"
"Yeah! Let me get them and you can see for yourself"
"Alright"
Bella took out her wand and summoned her earrings. Lily put them in and studied her reflection. Her hands pushing her hair back and her head turning from one side to the other.
"They do look nice" she conceded.
"See? I told you they'll look awesome with that dress. Finishing touch, yeah?" Bella asked, her hands resting on Lily's shoulders, smiling at her through the mirror.
For the first time since Petunia's visit two days ago, Lily's face broke out into a wide, genuine smile "Yeah okay"
"Brilliant. I'm going to go start on my eyes, you start getting dressed okay?" Bella advised and turned to leave.
"Thank you Bella" Lily said softly, watching her friend go.
Bella knew what she meant "anytime"
Lily turned back to the mirror again.
Petunia had been right, Lily thought. She would be fine without her.
With that, Lily got up from the vanity table and began to get dressed.
"Lily! Get down here!" Fred called, an hour later "it's eight and I don't want to look like a loner"
"Sorry! I'm coming!" he heard the sound of a door shutting and sighed in relief, exchanging a smile with Annie.
When he looked up again, Lily was shyly descending into the hallway.
She looked very pretty. Opting for a set of very Grecian-looking, cream robes, all delicate folds and swoops. Her hair was back in a loose plait, daring to come out but never actually doing so and to accompany her fiery hair, a thin gold ribbon acted as a headband.
The simplicity of it all pronounced the quiet grace which came to her. Her face was exempt from any embellishment, only her cheeks seemed pinker which with her freckles and pink lips made for a fresh, soft look.
"So?" she prompted anxiously.
"You look great" he answered, kissing her cheek. She let out the breath she'd been holding in.
The doorbell rang and Mr. Aldringham went to get it.
Bella twitched her shimmery gauze robes slightly and noticed Lily swallow nervously. She tilted her head towards the redhead slightly and whispered "don't be nervous, you look amazing"
They greeted the guests and when they had passed on; Lily smiled at her best friend and whispered back "thank you"
A hectic hour followed this first arrival and soon the gargantuan ballroom was filled with dancing couples. The dining room welcomed those in need of refreshments and those who wished to mingle could be found in the drawing room.
Lily stood in the corner of the ballroom, back against the ornate wall, watching many of her fellow classmates dance and several other people whom she didn't really know.
Just as Bella danced past with someone Lily vaguely recognised as having left school the year before, the doorbell rang to interrupt her thoughts.
No one answered so she made herself useful and let the guest in. Luckily, there was only one person.
"Good evening" the girl greeted politely.
"Good evening, my dear" was her cordial reply as the woman stepped in, a large trunk floating behind her.
For a moment, the two studied each other. Lily knew now who this was even without having ever been introduced.
The guest was tall, not as tall as Lily but tall for her old age. She had very familiar, twinkling, clear grey eyes and high cheekbones, although, Lily noticed, she didn't have the nose. But from her thin frame to her dark grey hair, Lily sensed the unmistakable air of elegance she knew so well.
This was the great Celia Aldringham.
"Do you know, you're not quite beautiful but there's something awe inspiring about the way you look with that majestic height and glorious hair and those eyes. I hope you don't mind my saying" the woman said frankly.
Lily smiled and the old woman watched appreciatively as her companion's whole face transformed.
"Not at all, actually that's one of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me" Lily answered.
"The word for you my dear is lovely, I believe. I must know your name" Mrs. Aldringham declared.
"Lily Evans"
"Lily Evans. Do you know that is a singularly charming name? And it just fits you"
"Do you know that Bella said something remarkably similar to that when we first met" Lily recalled.
"Well of course she did" the other said with a sigh "Isabella perfectly detests her name. She thinks it's fanciful, very inconsiderate of her. Speaking of Isabella, where are my grandchildren and why are you doing their chores?"
Just then, a familiar voice made Lily's head turn "Lily! There you are. You need to get back in here, they keep trying to set me up with-" but he broke off at spotting his grandmother and quickly crossed the hall to meet her.
"Celia!" he said cheerfully and allowed her to hug him "you look wonderful"
His grandmother frowned at him though this was slightly belied by her smiling eyes "Frederic, you are little more than a flatterer and don't call me Celia, I'm your grandmother"
"Yes, you know I'd almost forgotten. How are you Nan?"
"I'm alright dear, you look very handsome. I was just talking to this charming Lily with the beautiful laugh"
"I see you've met my date"
"Is she really? Oh I am glad. I like her so much more than those disgraceful tarts you're generally in the habit of bringing"
Lily was barely holding in her laughter, biting her lip, her eyes tightly shut. Fred grinned at her state and said "I'm glad you approve Nan"
"Now Frederic, I've come to stay for a week so take my trunk up to my room" she ordered, at her words the trunk floated over to Fred who looked doubtfully at his grandmother.
"Come to stay? I haven't heard about that, your room hasn't been prepared" he said.
"Oh" Mrs. Aldringham said, confused at first and then looking apologetic "oh no! I didn't forget again!" she cried.
"You must have" her grandson remarked.
"Oh dear and poor Helen with so much to do. How silly of me! Oh well, Frederic just take up my trunk and I'll do it all myself later" she said and watched Fred go upstairs with her luggage before turning back to Lily.
"Well Mrs. Aldringham, what would you like to do?" Lily asked and then explained the setting out of the rooms.
The woman ignored this entreaty and asked "what do you call Helen?"
"Um, I call her Helen"
"I see and do you have a Nan?"
Lily thought about her grandmother for a second "not a Nan exactly, no"
"Well you can call me Nan"
"Oh no I couldn't"
"Yes you could. Mrs. Aldringham is too much of a mouthful and one of Sebastian's girls is called Celia so that would become confusing" she explained, blithely unaware of how little her numerous grandchildren interacted while at school.
"Are you sure?" Lily asked dubiously.
"Of course I am, I've taken a liking to you" three cries of "Nan!" interrupted the woman. Suddenly, Bella, Leo and Annie were making their way over.
The greetings and hugs were exchanged before their grandmother stepped back to look at the three sisters. "You all look beautiful"
"Thank you. Have you met Lily?" Bella asked.
"I have, she's wonderful" she smiled at Lily before continued "have all of mine arrived?"
"Not quite. Uncle Seb worked late so he and Aunt Lizzie aren't here but Addy is and she bought the other kids over so it's just them, really"
"Oh Sebastian! He never could be on time, poor dear" just then Fred returned.
Lily looked around at the others and asked "so shall we go to the Drawing room then?" her painstaking, inculcated etiquette lessons came to the fore after a general assent.
"Okay, Fred, you take your Nan's arm and we'll follow" she instructed.
"And she knows just how things should be done!" Mrs. Aldringham commented in delight and then looked up at her grandson as they walked "Frederic, why don't you marry her?"
Lily bit her lip again to keep from laughing. Fred, grinning, replied "Bella wouldn't let me"
It didn't take more than five minutes in the ballroom before Bella was off dancing with someone else while her friend stood watching. Fred was held up with countless colleagues and such.
"Hey!" came a voice. Lily spun round to face the person and then threw her arms around them.
"Nia! When d'you get here?"
"Just now. You look gorgeous by the way"
"Oh thank you. Here, let me take a look at you" Lily said, holding Nia's hands and standing back.
Nia was wearing a set of rather complicating looking robes, festooned with pleats crossing this way and then that. They were of a dark cerise. Her whole look was very out there and she looked amazing.
"You look great! I love your robes!" Lily said.
"Thanks. Where's Bella?"
"I dunno, careening around the room with some new random"
"Is Sirius here yet?"
"No, he's not. Don't be too keen to stay with me" Lily said sarcastically.
Nia laughed "shut up. I've missed you though. It's weird not having you around for Christmas"
"Well I've missed you too. D'you want to go and look for Sirius?" Lily offered generously.
"Sure but let's get drinks first. I'm thirsty"
"Okay" and the two girls headed for the dining room where a couple of men worked behind the bar.
Nia got her drink and went to look at the hors d'oeuvres, Lily lingered at the bar.
When Nia had her back completely turned, she leaned over and pulled out a few galleons.
"Hey, want to make three extra galleons?" she whispered.
"What can I do for you?"
"Right, you see that girl standing a bit behind me, pink robes?" Lily asked, the barman glanced over her shoulder and nodded "she just got her first drink, yeah?"
"Yeah"
"In a bit, when she feels like it, she'll come in for a second drink"
"Okay"
"When she comes in for the third, I want you to refuse point blank, nothing doing. Deal?"
He shrugged "why not? Deal"
"Excellent" Lily handed over the coins "do your job well and there might be more" with that she walked away.
The two friends spent the next ten minutes or so just talking and keeping an eye out for Nia's boyfriend. After a while, some cousin of Nia's waltzed over to catch up with her. Lily, having very little idea of what they talked about, allowed her gaze to wander.
She looked over at her own date who looked back at her with wide eyes, full of entreaty which made Lily snigger.
"That's my cue. I'm sorry, I'll be back later" she apologised to the cousins before gliding over to Fred and his gaggle of middle age.
"Why don't you dance with Lisette, Fred? You two would look absolutely charming" one of the women gushed.
Lily cleared her throat and they looked upon her "there are you are Fred! I wondered where you'd got to. I was only talking to Nia for a bit"
"Oh sorry Lily, I lost track of time. Ladies, my date for the evening, Lily Evans"
The two older women looked at her appraisingly before one of them started "I don't believe I know you, I'm Henrietta Thompson. This is my daughter Lisette" she pointed to the girl next to her "last year of Hogwarts"
"Oh, so am I" Lily said politely, shaking hands with Lisette "you're in Ravenclaw, aren't you?" the other girl nodded.
"Lily's the Head Girl" Fred added in confidential tones "knows about everyone"
"Really? How impressive" Mrs. Thompson said, almost sulkily.
"Well thank you" Lily answered with a small smile, her perfect manners on play "Mrs. Thompson, I'm ever so sorry to have to take him away from you but Fred, your Aunt Nonie's asking for you"
They said their goodbyes and headed swiftly in Aunt Nonie's direction.
"Thank you!" he said "thought I'd never get out of there. I wouldn't have minded dancing with her Lisette, though. But she wouldn't speak!"
Lily smiled "I know. She's the brooding type, doesn't really speak as a rule"
"Bloody hell, what a waste of my time"
The doorbell rang, he grabbed Lily's hand and they made to leave "come on, we'd better get that"
They walked into the entrance hall to find four people being let in by the house elf. Lily's gaze dropped as she recognised two of them.
"Mr. and Mrs. Potter! Glad you could make it, how are you?" Fred greeted.
James and Sirius took in Lily's appearance with identical, somewhat shocked expressions. She looked up at them shyly, giving them a tiny smile before looking down again.
"Lily, Malcolm and Diane Potter and I trust you know these two" Fred said, smiling at James and Sirius "Mr. and Mrs. Potter, this is Lily Evans, my date and our guest for the holidays"
"It's a pleasure to meet you" Lily said quietly, shaking hands with James' parents.
Diane Potter looked at Lily closely "the Lily Evans?"
Lily exchanged a confused glance with Fred "probably not but I don't know another one. To whom are you referring?" she asked pleasantly.
"Lily Evans, the unknown donor who donates ridiculous amounts of money to St. Mungo's every summer and every Christmas"
Lily blushed "oh. Yes, well, they're not ridiculous amounts of money just, you know…" she trailed off.
"But you can't be much older than James! Oh wait, James didn't you tell me she was the Head Girl at the station?" the woman asked, turning to her son who nodded.
"Oh! It didn't strike me at the time because you seemed a child. Well, my dear, it is a pleasure to meet you" she said.
"And you"
"Are you interested in a career as a Healer?" the woman asked as the party dispersed into the different rooms. James and Fred followed Lily and Diane into the ballroom.
"I'm not sure, I have the subjects but I only picked them because they gave the widest variety. I'm still trying to figure it out"
"If you ever need any information or a name to drop, you have me. But tell me, how does a seventeen year old get to make such donations?"
Lily shrugged "oh, just birthday money, summer jobs at my dad's office, that sort of thing"
"It's remarkable that a girl of your age should care enough. You're doing a wonderful thing"
"Oh thank you, but, you know, it's nothing really. Just something I do"
They talked for a few more minutes before Diane was asked to dance by her husband.
Fred was called by another of his mother's friends and left with a grimace, making Lily laugh.
"I'm sorry about her. She's…" James stopped, shaking his head.
"I thought she was lovely" Lily said.
They smiled at each other before turning away again.
"You look really nice" he stated "again"
"Thanks, don't look too bad yourself" Lily said, forcing out the strongest compliment she could give without stuttering.
"Thanks"
Just then Fred was seen leading some unknown girl onto the dance floor. He met her gaze and rolled his eyes before giving her a wink. James observed the exchange.
"So what's going on there, then?" he asked casually.
"Where?" Lily asked back.
"Between you and…Frederic" he said not altogether good-naturedly.
"Nothing really. I'm just his date so that he didn't get dragged into taking someone he didn't like but it isn't really working"
"You let him kiss you" James reminded her.
"What?" Lily questioned, trying to think of any such occasion.
"On the cheek. At the station last week, I just wondered why. Since you're a bit… funny about stuff like that"
"Oh yeah but it's Fred" Lily offered as an explanation.
"What do you mean?"
"I…I don't know. I mean I do know but I can't put it into words"
"Oh right"
"Are you okay James? You seem a bit distant" Lily commented, trying to read his expression.
"I'm fine. D'you want to dance?" he requested abruptly.
"What?"
"Do you want to dance? We're in a ballroom, we might as well dance" he elaborated.
"Oh. I-I don't think…"
But she was overborne as James took her to the dance floor by the hand, just as Sirius had done at the party.
She stiffened as his arm went round her waist, she placed one of hers on his shoulder and their other hands clasped as they joined in the Viennese waltz.
"You're very good" James said conversationally, loosening up and actually smiling at his partner.
"So are you. Where d'you learn to be so good?" she asked as they turned once again.
"My mum's finicky about stuff like this" he admitted, embarrassed.
"So's mine, don't worry" she assured, though looking determinedly over his shoulder.
They said nothing for a while, just continuing the flurry of twirls and change steps that the dance constituted.
"How's your Christmas been?" James asked, trying to end the silence.
"Good so far, haven't really done that much. I haven't even looked at the homework" Lily answered.
James groaned "no! Not homework! Not tonight"
The girl couldn't help but smile a little but still didn't loosen within his firm hold "I'm sorry. I promise I won't say the word again"
"Thank you"
"Any word from the family?" he asked in a manner as offhand as he could manage.
Lily cleared her throat and her expression became stony, he saw "yes I had a visit from my sister, a couple of days ago" she said evasively.
He looked at her expectantly and but she refused to meet his gaze, continuing to look at some undistinguished spot over his shoulder so he was forced to let it go.
"That's nice"
Eventually the music ended and the couples stopped and briefly applauded the orchestra.
She'd barely lowered her hands when Fred appeared "Lily! Dance with me, please! Before they trap me again"
"Of course, that's what I'm here for" Lily replied kindly and then looking at James "thank you for dancing with me, James. I'd better go"
"Not at all. See you in a bit" he said and watched as Lily was led away.
With Fred, James observed, Lily was much more carefree and open. Their conversation seemed to flow easily and she often burst into laughter at her partner's comments. The sight of them dancing together in such a way made James a little uncomfortable.
So uncomfortable in fact that he decided he couldn't stay in the ballroom.
About a quarter of an hour later, Lily had moved to the Drawing Room and was conversing with Fred. James was a little distance away, looking slightly bored.
"Frederic!"' came a voice. Lily and Fred turned to see a tall young woman standing behind them. She was an Aldringham, Lily could tell, because in addition to her auburn hair, she had grey eyes and the nose.
"Hey, where've you been hiding?" he asked.
"Just around. Introduce to me to your latest then"
Lily blushed and Fred scowled "she's not my latest, she's a friend. Lily Evans, Adrasteia Aldringham. Better known as our cousin Addy"
Addy studied Lily intently "no, you can't be one of Fred's girls, you're not nearly slaggy enough, nice to meet you. Why does your name ring such a bell?" she said swiftly, rather in Bella's manner of speaking.
"You got us Queen Mab for our party?" Lily tried to jog her memory.
"Oh yes of course! I remember now, you're the Head Girl, Bella's friend"
"That's it. Thanks again by the way, we really appreciated it"
"Don't worry about it; I was just glad I could help"
Above them, a vague voice could be made out to be announcing that had dinner had been served and Fred grabbed Lily's hand to take her into the dining room.
"Oh, am I just going to be a loner then?" Addy asked, a smile on her beautiful face.
"I guess so" Fred said shortly. Addy made a face at him.
"No you won't" Lily looked round and seeing James, called him over.
"What's the matter?" he asked detachedly.
"You wouldn't mind taking Bella's cousin Addy into dinner, would you?"
James looked at Addy and suddenly his face broke out into a grin "would I mind taking Addy Aldringham into dinner? I don't think so" he said.
Addy smiled at him, amused "and who is this?"
James held out a hand "James Potter"
"I see, I don't think we've met before, right?"
"Briefly. You helped me with my homework once when you were in sixth year. You said I was cute" he divulged confidentially.
Addy laughed "you are kind of cute. Alright fine, take me into dinner. Quick though, I want to be near the middle where the good food is"
Some time later, James was seen strolling up to Sirius who was observing his girlfriend being introduced to some woman by her mother. He, himself, was the recipient of many furtive, prying glances of which he was aware but coldly indifferent.
"What's the matter? Lose Lily?" Sirius asked as his raven haired friend approached.
"Why would you think that?" James asked, confused.
"Dunno, just assumed that's where you'd be"
"Oh. Well I wasn't. Actually I was dancing with Addy Aldringham" this made Sirius look at him with interest "that's right. And d'you know what she said to me?"
"No. Tell me" Sirius asked, lazily humouring his best friend.
"Told me to look her up in five years. Not bad right?"
Sirius stared at him for a second and let out his bark of a laugh. "You need a girl, mate"
"Tell me about it-" James started.
"Sorry, I'm going to have you leave you there. Mine's coming this way. Have fun" his friend patted him on the shoulder and walked off to meet Nia.
James shook his head and walked out into the entrance hall. The sight that met him made him stop dead in his tracks.
Lily kissing some unknown man. Lily kissing some unknown man.
For some reason, a white hot fury consumed James and his throat burned and his insides clenched and thrashed. It was all rather inexplicable but his fists began to curl up, his hazel eyes narrowed behind his glasses.
He stood there like that for what seemed like an age before he noticed that something was rather off about the whole picture.
For one thing, Lily's eyes weren't just closed, they were screwed up tight. Every so often, she made a muffled squeak and within the man's grasp, her shoulders were jerking spasmodically.
James strode up to them and shoved the man as hard as he could.
Lily gasped and looked up at James gratefully. The man shook his head and glared at his assailant.
"Hey! Addy, wha's goin-on" he slurred.
Lily's face reddened within the blink of an eye as she stammered "I-I'm not A-Addy. She's-she's in there, I think" she pointed to the ballroom.
The man turned to look at the room behind him and then back at Lily "oh. Sorry" he said and then stalked off.
"Are you okay?" James asked.
"Yeah, a little stunned but fine" she answered faintly.
"Want to go somewhere quieter to calm down?"
Lily looked at him shyly and nodded "that would be nice. We-we can go upstairs" he nodded and followed her to the room she stayed in.
"What happened?" James demanded when they got there, he leant against the door while Lily sat at her vanity table, trying to fix the damage to her appearance.
"I was coming out of the dining room and he just got me from behind and turned me round and just started trying to get off with me" she explained quietly, rubbing her arms where the man had held them.
"Why would he think you're Addy?" he questioned.
"Well, he only saw me from behind and we're both tall and have red hair. And he was drunk" she reasoned sadly "it was sort of understandable"
"Understandable? Lily, the man just mauled you! Are you sticking up for him?"
"No, I'm just looking at all sides of the story" she said, re-plaiting her hair.
"You're ridiculous" James remarked, shaking his head. As he watched her putting on her mascara, a thought occurred to him.
"Lily?"
"Yes?"
"Was that, I mean…That-that wasn't your…first kiss, right?" he asked uncomfortably.
Her calmness surprised him "it was, actually"
"Oh…wow. I'm sorry" he said, straightening up and going to sit on her bed.
She looked at him through the mirror and shrugged.
"How fucked up is that? I mean, I ruined the first time someone asked you out and now this dickhead ruined your first kiss" James continued apologetically.
Lily got up and smiled half-heartedly "don't worry about it. What's life but a long series of disillusionments anyway? This is just another one to add to my list"
James stared at her for a second; thinking of something to say but eventually gave up "you want to go back?"
"In a bit. I think I'll just get a drink and get some fresh air" Lily proclaimed.
Without thinking, he stood up and uttered "I'll go with you"
"You don't need to; I'll be fine on my own"
"I know but I could do with a walk. If you don't mind?" he asked tentatively.
Lily shook her head "of course not. We'd better not come downstairs together, it wouldn't look good"
"Right. You apparate, I'll take the stairs"
"Okay, see you there"
Within five minutes, they were walking down the vast lawn behind the Aldringham home.
"Lily, can I ask you a question?" James began.
"Go for it" she said magnanimously.
"Do they affect you? These things, I mean"
"What? My milestones becoming dares and misunderstandings?" she responded, not missing a beat. Her cool nonchalance almost made James wince.
"I'll take that as a yes then"
She shook her head and let out a breath of mirthless laughter "no, don't. It came out worse than I meant it to"
"So does it then?"
Lily looked ahead at the fountain that they were coming up to. Her keen eyes took in every curve of the stone as she contemplated James' question.
"They're bound to affect you, aren't they? They don't upset me as such, in that I don't feel like crying or anything, not that I'm one to cry anyway but…" she trailed off with a shrug.
"So how do they make you feel?" he further enquired as they both sat down upon the rim of the fountain.
"Ah. Another James Potter 'feeling' question. And here they told me that boys hated talking about feelings" Lily joked.
James scrutinised her face "we do. Mainly because they're excruciatingly boring. Emphasis on excruciatingly. But yours aren't, they interest me. So tell me or won't you?" he challenged, eyebrows raised.
Lily almost smiled, silently approving of his frank, matter-of-fact way of approaching the thing. Eventually she answered.
"There isn't a word for it, exactly. It's a sort of overwhelming…'bollocks! Not again!' feeling, d'you understand?"
"Like when you haven't noticed a bludger and then you have to swerve at the last minute and you accidentally let the quaffle slip?" James asked, trying his hardest to relate.
"Yeah, like that. Except it's more, it's…sharper. Not painful sharper but rather…more intense sharper"
James tried to imagine it for a second "oooh. I sort of understand, I think"
"Yeah that's probably as good as it's going to get. I don't think you'd fully get it 'til you actually felt it" Lily mused. He nodded in response.
"So tell me about yourself" she said after almost five minutes of silence "I mean, I remember you briefly telling me about what your parents did but we never really got into it, it's only fair, right? So what's your family like?"
"Not much to say. I've got great parents and I'm sort of an only child" he said dully.
"How can you be sort of an only child? I mean, no offence but I got the impression that your mother was…past that age"
James gave her a look "she is past that age, thanks Lily. I was talking about Sirius"
"Oh"
"Yeah, he's been living with us ever since he ran away last summer. He's kind of like you actually"
"Except that I don't really hate my family or vice versa"
"No but that's not what I meant by the comparison. I meant you're both…alone, in a way"
"That makes me feel loved. Tell me what you mean by that then" Lily said, taking a large sip from her glass but keeping her eyes on him over the rim.
"I mean, you don't really depend on anyone. I know you said you've got your sister but you don't need her, do you? You're not even with her most of time. And like, you have people in your life but you don't need anyone" he paused for clarification.
"True" Lily interposed obligingly after intently considering what he'd said.
"Really, at the end of the day, even if you hadn't gotten an invitation for the holidays you wouldn't cry about it, you'd just go home and be fine. Just like Sirius"
"Huh. What marvellous lives we lead" she said dryly.
James laughed "at least you know you'd be okay on your own, the rest of us just have to wonder and doubt until we actually get out there"
Lily smiled "you're not missing a lot, trust me" she dipped a finger in the water behind her and then shook her hand, spraying James slightly "you know what else I should so obviously know about you, that I don't?"
"No, tell me" James said, wiping a drop of water from the tip of his nose.
"Girl issues. I know Sirius' and Remus' I know Peter's though he's not aware of it but what about you?"
"You know Peter's? I don't know Peter's girl issues. I didn't even know there was a girl"
Lily smiled serenely "there is. It's a great story. Another time maybe" she answered sagely, tapping her nose.
"Lily, are you a bit tipsy?"
"A little merry, nothing to worry about. Now tell me about your girl issues"
James scoffed "girl issues? I don't get girl issues, okay? That's for Sirius and Remus and apparently Peter. But me? Never"
"Really? So what do you do when you-" she stopped and wrinkled her nose in thought "d'you think I could summon some leftover cheesecake?"
"Sure" he said and before he knew it, Lily was swiping a plate of cheesecake from the air and restoring her wand to her pocket.
"Where was I?" she asked.
"What do I do when I…"
"Oh yeah. What do you do when you like a girl? Properly like though"
"It's a method as old as time. Kiss her first, then you ask her out. That way, if she was wavering, the getting off will decide it in your favour. Unless you're crap in which case, it totally backfires on you"
Lily laughed "that's pretty clever"
"Yep. And short. No faffing about with "does she like me" or 'let's be friends first' No, you just get in there"
"So needless to say, I'll never need to devise a plan for you"
"Nope. I like to take care of these things on my own"
"Well good for you" Lily said, raising her glass to him.
Suddenly, a muffled sound was heard. Lily looked round in confusion to check if anyone was coming.
"It's me" James said and pulled out a mirror from his robes and then bizarrely, right under Lily's bewildered gaze, he began talking to the suspiciously ornate mirror "what's up Sirius?"
"Where are you? We're leaving" came Sirius' voice, Lily leaned over to peer into the mirror and gasped at the sight of Sirius in its reflection "oh hey Lily! James, see you in five minutes"
"Let's head back inside" he suggested. They got off the fountain and started trudging back.
"Hey Lily?" James said after a minute or so, she turned to look at him and he leant forward to kiss her on the cheek. She blinked and looked at him questioningly.
"I know that seemed really random but I just thought I should do something, you know….to make up for before. And well, I couldn't actually kiss you so…"
Lily's face broke out into a huge smile "aw James, that is quite possibly the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me, or tried to do. Thank you"
"It's okay"
"Okay get ready, because I'm going to hug you" Lily said, taking a deep breath to prepare herself.
"Really? Woah, slow down" he quipped.
"Shut up. And that's snappy Lily, there's going to be more of her now. So are you ready?"
James rolled his eyes "yes I'm ready" she held out her arms and very carefully wrapped them around him, he hugged her back. Then she stepped back.
"You give really good hugs" he remarked casually.
"I know, that's why you have to earn them"
A/n: So there you are. I hope it was alright, tell me what you thought!
