As
soon as Cass and I got to our new house, we dropped our superior
attitudes- and our jaws. This house was capital G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S!!!!!!
And we lived here!!!!!! It was a Victorian/Tudor style mansion, with
3 floors and vines crawling up the sides. It had a round driveway in
the front with a fountain in the middle! The house was a cool
Peach-ish Ivory-ish color-It was amazing! Of course, Cass read my
mind and said "I can't believe we live here now-Omigosh!" She
grabbed my hands and we squealed and jumped up and down like the 5
year olds we really were inside. "This isn't our house!" said
my mom, Kellie, her voice oozing "DUH!" (Sorry I forgot before,
my parent's names are Kellie and Edward LaCrew.) "That's our
house." She pointed next door, which looked more like a guesthouse
than an actual house, but hey, it was somethin'. It was an exact
replica of this house, but, um, smaller. Significantly smaller.
"Well okay, then whose house is this?" I asked. As if on cue,
a lady with a light brown swishy bob came prancing out of the house.
Oh yes, I said prancing! Well, there was a bit of a flounce in there
somewhere too. No, really! "Welcome, darlings, I'm so glad you're
here!" Um, yeah, darlings? Wait, how long has it been since this
lady was let out of the loony bin? Oh, what's that? She hasn't
gone yet? Well, then fill out an application or whatever, AYSAP!!!
This lady needs serious help. The professional kind. "Come in, come
in, my husband and daughter are inside!" Wait, what does this
remind me of? This whole experience reminds me of something….Oh
well. It'll come to me sooner or later. When we all walk inside,
the inside is just as amazing as the outside. A large golden hall
with vases of purple tulips lining the edges of the corridor. At the
end of the hall was a double French door with white ruffled curtains,
semi parted in the middle. When we stepped through those doors, the
first thing I saw was…her. This girl was tall, and possibly the
most beautiful thing on this earth. I mean, really, this chick was as
gorgeous as the house! She was a boob-length brunette, with hair that
shined like the stinking sun! I know it's cheesy, but it's true!
And had wild highlights, like blue, red, purple, green, and honey
blonde. It sounds weird, but it looked amazing on her. She also had
bangs that were swept to the side and tucked behind her ear. She also
had light brown/ Hazel eyes, and thick, long eyelashes. She had a
nice ski slope nose, the natural kind. Her lips were jay-z full, and
perfectly red. She also had all of her beauty marks on the left side
of her face, and none on the right. But there was one in the middle
of her forehead, in between her eyes. It sounds like it would make
her ugly, but it really didn't. And get this…she looked at least
a B. You know what I'm talking about. She had teal eyeliner on,
which made her eyes shine and pop, plus some clear gloss on, so she
glowed. To help the cause of the 'glow', she had on a shimmery
aqua colored top, and a seemingly bedazzled denim miniskirt. And
check this out….girl had on heels. HEELS! How old was she? My age,
right? Omigosh, they're kitten heels. They're CHANEL kitten
heels. I mean, how much must those have been? I look over at Cass,
but she's still checking little miss
i-know-im-gorgeous-and-rich-and-you're-not-mwahahahaha-and-how-are-you?
I look back over to i.k.i.g.a.r.a.y.n.m.a.h.a.y (haha!) and she's
checking me out. Well, two can play that game. I stare right into her
eyes. She doesn't look away. I don't look away. Out of the corner
of my eye I see Cass surveying this whole exchange with wide and
worried eyes. And then the weirdest thing happens.
i.k.i.g.a.r.a.y.n.m.a.h.a.y (that just never gets old!...ok nvm, it's
old.) she smiles. She actually smiles! Wow, her teeth are perfectly
straight, and a blinding shade of hey-I'm-white-bordering-on-blue!
Then she holds out her hand. Ooh, I do need to call her manicurist!
She says, "Hi, I'm Patrellia-Chanelle! But my friends" -Oh
yeah, she emphasized 'friends'- "Call me P.C. So I guess you'll
be calling me Patrellia-Chanelle then, huh?" She said still
smiling, looking between me and my sister. Is she serious? Oh, NO.
"Well, my name is Cassandra, but my friends call me Cass. Back to
you. Patrellia-Chanelle? Hmm. I have a different name for you. You
know how people call me Cass? Well take away the C and there's your
new nickname right there." She smirked, and 'Patrellia-Chanelle's'
face fell faster than you can say "I bet you're boobs aren't
even real!" "I bet you're boobs aren't even real!" I said.
What can I say? I'm a woman who speaks her mind. She opened her
mouth to say something, but I cut her off. "Are you a
psycho-maniac?" I asked. Cass and I looked at each other. I could
tell she was trying not to crack up. "Um, I think the term is
pyromaniac or whatevs?" she asked, like it was a question or we
were stupid. "Whatevs." Ha. "Um answer the question princess"
retorted Cass. Patrellia-Chanelle gave a tiny eye roll-how did she do
that?- and said "no, I'm not a pyromaniac-sorry, PSYCHO- maniac."
She rolled her eye again. Me and Cass then said simultaneously "Oh
really? 'Cause you must be crazy- you just stated a forest fire so
big even Smokey Bear would be impressed!" Then we laughed, and
Patrellia-Chanelle huffed and stormed away. Oh, I know! This kinda
reminds me of the Clique, you know, that book? Well, it's like
Patrellia-Chanelle is Massie, and me and Cass are little Claires.
Butcha know what? Claire didn't stand up for herself when she was
in a situation like this. Wait. Patrellia-Chanelle? What kinda name
is that? I'm telling you, i.k.i.g.a.r.a.y.n.m.a.h.a.y fits her much
better.
