Summary:
Bilbo should have been more surprised, he really should have but he wasn't, every one else was, you could almost hear the breathing in the sudden silence.
Thranduil had stormed into the ball room, late for the Durin's day celebrations and instead of greeting Thorin as he should since it was Thorin hosting, Thranduil had walked purposely to Bard and dragged him into a rough kiss, Bilbo watched as Gold burned where the Elven King gripped Bard's hair with a bit of green swirling through it. Bilbo wondered absently if Bard's lips would bare the same colors for the rest of his days.
"Well." Bilbo began as the two broke apart, "What a lovely way to greet your allies, but I am not kissing you."
Thorin turned to stare at Bilbo with wide eyes, "You knew."
"Yes, of course I knew, there isn't a Match in this Mountain that I don't know about." Bilbo said.
"Is that so?" Bard asked with a grin.
"Don't smirk at me." Bilbo ponted at them, "Who do you think has been chaperoning your children?"
"What?" Bard cried.
Thranduil chuckled.
"I'm chaperoning yours too." Bilbo stared at the Elven King who fell silent quickly.
"What?" He echoed.
Bilbo rolled his eyes, "I think we all need to take a while to talk."
"That'd be great." Dis said, "There's a meeting room this way."
Bilbo glared at Fili as he tried to sneak away and grabbed Legolas' belt, dragging the Elf along.
