Disclaimer I don't own Harry Potter and anything that's recognizable belongs to J.K. Rowling.

CHAPTER 14 – Trying to get you down

"Well what are you still doing here?" Ron spat, looking over at Draco.

"I don't see a sign that's telling me I can't. I'll leave when I want to" Draco calmly replied.

"You don't even care, so why pretend," Ron asked skeptically.

"I do care. Get that in your thick head of yours" Draco replied, getting irritated by Ron.

"Yeah right" Ron said.

"What would you know?" Draco asked.

"More than you" Ron spat back.

"Ha! Yeah right! You didn't even know that anything was wrong with him, did you?" Draco asked.

"That doesn't matter right now!" Ron yelled.

"But it does! It shows just how much you know!" Draco replied, getting louder as well.

"Guys, be quiet or else you'll wake him up" Hermione said, but was ignored by both boys.

"You're not his friend. We are. So piss off," Ron yelled at him.

"Piss off?! Why don't you! I'm just as good friends with him as you are" Draco seethed.

"You're his enemy not his friend Malfoy" Ron spat, getting up from his seat.

"I'm his friend! At least I knew where to find him. You wouldn't have know at all," Draco said, also getting up.

"That's probably because you hurt him in the first place!" Ron yelled, getting out his wand and pointing it at Draco.

"Right! You're just jealous that I know more about him than you" Draco said, also getting out his wand.

"Jealous…jealo---why you…Ari-"

"Enough!" a weak voice yelled, "enough you two". Both Ron and Draco looked down, and saw Harry awake.

"You're bothmy friends. So just stop with all this nonsense" Harry weakly said.

"Sorry" Ron mumbled, and Draco shook his head. Harry let out a sigh.

"Ron…Draco is my friend, just as much as you are. You might not have known…but he is still my friend" Harry said.

"But how? He's a slimy Slytherin. A Death Eater!" Ron exclaimed.

"No Ron, he isn't" Harry said, getting irritated.

"Well why don't you tell us then how you became friends" Hermione asked, and Harry shot her a grateful look.

"Well I guess it started when he came up to the Astronomy Tower and wanted some of my alcohol" Harry said, and Hermione gasped.

"Alcohol! You know that's not allowed" Hermione lectured.

"I know, I know" Harry said, a bit amused by his friends antics.

"Anyway…after that…we sort of had a truce…and I don't know…it just went from there" Harry said, not able to really explain himself. There was a silence that filled the room.

"Does that mean we have to be friends with him too?" Ron asked, disgust clearly shown on his face. Harry just chuckled.

"No…you don't have to be friends," Harry said, and when Ron took a breath of relief, he continued, "You just have to tolerate each other". Harry almost started laughing when he saw Ron and Draco's equally shocked faces.

"I guess so…just don't expect me to call you Draco" Ron said and shuddered.

"Same here" Draco said, and Harry smiled at both of his friends; glad that they were at least being civil to each other.

"So what happened, Harry?" Hermione asked, looking at his arm. Harry didn't know how to answer, but he knew he couldn't lie to them again.

"I guess it was just too much" Harry cryptically said.

"What was too much?" Hermione pressed.

"The pain…knowing that it was my fault!" Harry forcefully said.

"But it wasn't-" Hermione began.

"But it was" Harry said,

"Oh Harry" Hermione said.

"Please…can you all leave? I'm tired" and with that Harry turned way from her, and closed his eyes.

"Come on…let's go" Ron said after a few minutes of silence. He got up and dragged Hermione from the infirmary.

"I'll come back later" Draco awkwardly said, and also left.

-----

For the next two days, Harry barely spoke to anyone. He kept to himself, and only ate small amounts of food. Madame Pomfrey started to add nutrient potions into his pumpkin juice so that he wouldn't starve himself completely off. He was already so thin; he didn't need to become more skin and bones. Harry still kept having nightmares, every night, although he never tried to kill himself again. But one nightmare caused Harry to loose control again.

"Harry" a soft voice called. Harry looked up and saw his mum there.

"Mum?" Harry asked.

"Yes it's me," she said.

"Mum!" Harry said and tried to give her a hug, but she backed away from him.

"Because of you I'm dead! I wish I never had you!" she yelled.

"MUM!" Harry yelled after her retreating form, but then a person blocked his way.

"Dad?" Harry asked.

"Yes Harry. I'm your father. The father that you killed!" he yelled and slapped Harry hard across the face.

"You're a disappointment to the Potter name" and with that, he left after his wife.

"NO! Mum! Dad!" Harry yelled.

"Leave them Harry, they don't want you anymore. You would just kill them again," a voice said beside Harry.

"Sirius!" Harry said.

"Yes! And I'm dead too because of you!" he said and then was joined by Credric.

"Harry! My parents lost me because of you. The stupid boy-who-lived, but kills everyone else!" Credric yelled in his face.

"No…I didn't mean to" he said, tears falling downs his face.

"Just like you didn't mean our deaths?" Alexia, now standing beside Credric, asked.

"No…"

"Admit it! You wanted us dead!" Sam yelled.

"No…"
"Yes you did" Zack said.

"No I didn't…I swear…"

"Yes you did!" Johnny yelled.

"I didn't…please you have to believe me…"
"Too bad we don't believe you then" Mark said.

"No…"

"No…" Harry yelled, and woke up from his nightmare.

"No…" he softly said, tears falling from his face.

"I didn't mean to…" he said, and frantically looked around the infirmary. He needed something. Something…. Harry kept looking around and then saw the flower vase on his beside table. He took out his wand and quietly spoke a silencing charm, and smashed the vase on the floor. He picked up a piece and huddled in the corner of the infirmary, not noticing the figure approaching.

"Potter!" a voice yelled, completely ignored by the young boy.

"Potter!" the voice yelled again, and approached the huddled figure, but was instantly repelled by an invisible force. After getting up, the figure approached the boy again, but not as close as last time.

"Potter!" the voice yelled, seeing as the boy took the piece of glass to his arm.

"Potter!" the voice softly called out, almost in a defeated tone.

"…H-Harry" the same voice softly called, almost a whisper. Yet Harry heard, and relaxed. The figure stood there for a moment, contemplating what to do. Slowly after a few minutes, seeing as Harry was not about to hurt himself, walked over to him. He crouched down and placed a hand on Harry's shoulder.

"Harry" he called softly. Harry jerked away from the touch and looked up.

"Professor?" Harry asked confused.

"What are you doing on the floor…Harry?" Professor Snape asked.

"Oh…" Harry replied, looking down at his hand, where the glass piece was still firmly held.

"Come on let's get you onto your bed" Snape said, getting up again.

"No!" Harry said.

"What?" the Professor said confused.

"No! I won't! You don't understand" Harry yelled hysterically.

"Then let me!" Snape said.

"They're all dead…because of…me," Harry said, defeat obvious in his voice.

"Who's dead because of you?" Snape asked, truly confused about what Harry was going on about.

"Everyone…my parents…Credric, Sirius…Alexia, Sam…" Harry couldn't continue, and let out a sob.

"No…no Harry. You didn't kill them" Snape tried to tell him.

"But I did!" Harry forcefully answered.

"No, a madman killed them. Not you" Snape said. "You've never killed anyone Harry. Not your parents, not Sirius, and none of your friends. It's not your fault. If it's anyone's fault, it's the Dark Lord's fault" Snape said. "He was the one that pointed the wand and said the words…not you. His followers were the ones that killed your friends. Not you!" Snape said, trying to get the boy to understand.

"But-"

"Not buts Harry! It wasn't your fault. No one blames you. It will never be your fault. It's all because of this bloody war! Started by a madman" Snape said.

"I guess" Harry quietly said, but not really believing it.

"No. It's true. Can't you see what the Dark Lord is trying to do?" Snape asked, but when he got a confused look from Harry, continued.

"He's trying to weaken you. Trying to take you down. I mean look, he's too much of a coward, so he tries to get you to end your own life so he doesn't have to. He's trying to get you down! Trying to crush you so he can kill you with ease. So that he has no challenge" Snape said.

"So you're saying he's going to go after all of my friends. Kill all of them?" Harry asked in horror.

"No…he's trying to get you to leave your friends. Without them, you won't have a reason to fight. Without them, you will just give up, or so the Dark Lord hopes. You see…you can't give up Harry…you just can't! You need to keep going, get rid of this monster once and for all!" Snape said. It was quiet for a while, Harry going over what the Professor had said.

"Thanks Professor" Harry said

"Severus"

"Huh?" Harry asked, bewildered.

"My name…it's Severus. You might as well use it if I'm going to start calling you Harry…but only in private" Severus sternly added at the end, but a small smile could be seen.

"Okay…Severus" Harry replied and got up, going over to his bed.

"Remember that you need your friends. That means that they need to know about some of the things you've gone through," Severus said, hinting at the fact that Harry needed to tell Ron and Hermione about his cutting and drinking.

"Yes sir" Harry quietly replied, closed his eyes, and drifted off to sleep.

A/N Please Review!