Wow, I am so glad the holidays are behind me. That was two months worth of crazy and I am so done with it. Lol. I wanted to get this finished and uploaded two days ago, but meh. It's was kinda hard with my Birthday an' all. xD It was a good one though. My boss let me have time off which was awesome and I got to spend some time with friends.
I'm so excited that Dissidia NT is less than a week away. I'm going to enjoy setting up my own team. And I reeeeeeally hope Zack eventually gets added to the roster. The creators want to add him, so I can't help but get my hopes up, even if it takes a little bit. :3
This chapter will have some feels in it, but there is some events that are starting to unfold and while they may seem a bit confusing at first don't fret. I've got big plans and everything will explain itself in due time.
This chapter was inspired by the song "Monster" by Imagine Dragons and two characters can relate to it, well actually three, but one has a better grasp on his struggles than others.
Hopefully I'll have another chapter out soon. I do like that I've been able to more or less give this an update once or twice a month. It's a slower pace than I'd like, but it's working pretty well and I've got no complaints. :)
Enjoy!
The sound of a buzz saw cutting metal echoed through the area as engineers carried with their tasks with the rocket. Some going over blueprints while others carried building supplies and parts to install as they all worked hard to make sure the model twenty-six would be a successful launch. Cid was busy as well, both with directing a group of rookies where to go (and by directing I mean shouting and throwing colorful insults at them), while secretly going over the contract files and trying to see if he could decode any clue that would hint to a reason that would cause his rocket to fail.
Despite witnessing the blonde kid suffer some kind of crazy mental episode with a split personality, he wasn't so keen to blindly believe the general so willingly. He was willing to go along with the group if the failure was proven inevitable, but if it was because some idiot didn't install something right or something that no one could help then he would remain loyal to his project and lifelong dream. A clattering of tools alerted him to Shera who had knocked over a crate of small support bars and he could only sigh and roll his eyes. It seemed far more likely that it'd be due to the incompetence of his staff rather than some evil world-threatening plot. Later that day however he decided to withhold his judgment when he spotted a dark blue suit among the working crowd of grey shirts, orange vests and yellow hardhats.
The Turks, a dark-skinned man with sunglasses and a woman with short, platinum blonde hair had arrived and seemed to be looking for something. Cid approached them with all the common courtesy he had for people who only stood to slow him down and keep him from his work.
"If you're looking for the man in charge, all you had to do was ask," he said around his toothpick. He normally resorted to his smokes, but with the fuel chambers being tested, he didn't want to risk even the smallest ember.
The Turks introduced themselves as Rude and Elena, a rookie who had just joined. She stated that this was her first mission. Cid wasn't impressed.
The claimed to have their own agenda and didn't need an escort. Cid just shrugged his shoulders and turned his back on them. "Just don't get in the way of our work. We've got enough crazy deadlines to meet without some suits to messing shit up."
Cid went back to work, while keeping a close eye on the Turks through the monitors. He didn't trust them regardless of what he knew, but their being here added some weight to the general's claims. The news he got a few days later that North Corel had been attacked only convinced him even further.
It was two days after North Corel was attacked and Aerith had made sure Barret's injury didn't have any infection and was healing properly. There was talk of prosthesis, but only time would tell if that would be the right move. She wanted to make sure he was well on the mend first. She wasn't a doctor by any means, but for some reason it had come so naturally for her to heal. She supposed it had to do with her future self, as she had been having very vivid dreams ever since she had arrived in Cosmo Canyon.
Many of the dreams had been good and endearing. She had been shown experiences she had shared with the many friends she had made while journeying the first time. It was a blessing to know the people she was around now were such amazing and welcome people who would do whatever they could to support the other. She compared it to having a big family with many siblings and the amusing uncle here and there, especially with Barret and Cid. But recently her dreams had been about consoling her 'little brother', or at least that's how it felt whenever she dreamed about Cloud. In her dreams he was often troubled. Dealing with self doubt, regrets, burdens which weren't his to bare, the guilt was the worst though. He was constantly blaming himself for things which weren't his fault. He felt like a failure and she did whatever she could to ease his fears. It didn't always work, but at least she had managed to make his endurance easier. It wasn't until the most recent dream that she had seen why he had been so hard on himself. She had dreamed of her death and the memory of a time when the planet sent her a message of Zack's death.
That dream had upset her, but she kept it to herself. Redressing Barret's wound; she kept her worries to herself and did what she could to keep herself busy. By sunset she must have offered everyone in the village help with one thing or another. Some were grateful for the help, but others insisted they were fine. Currently she was nursing sore hands after cutting so many vegetables for the cook who was definitely thankful for the help. Aerith was just glad Tifa had given her the practice back in Midgar.
It had done well to take her mind off the things she was hiding from, but she knew she'd eventually have to deal with it sooner or later. She just wanted to get over the initial shock first.
A gust of wind gently swayed her bangs as a single black feather drifted through the wind. Aerith wondered for a moment where it had come from before she heard a crow cawing in the distance. She didn't know why it eased her to hear the bird, but she assumed it was from one of her many memory revealing dreams.
Something moved in the shadows behind her, concealed by the intense brightness of the setting sun. Aerith tried to get a better view by lifting a hand above her eyes, but the figure remained concealed.
"It doesn't surprise me that the ancient spotted me first."
Aerith stood up and began to approach when a cloaked hand was raised and made her stop. "It'd be unwise to come any closer. My intention is to observe, though I will attack if forced."
"I'm not going to fight you," Aerith said with a lightly humorous smile.
"All the same, I'd rather not. It's too soon and…"
"And…" Aerith gently prompted.
"I don't know which side I belong. I have not yet tamed the demons that wage ware within my soul. I do not even know if I'm a man or a monster."
Aerith's smile never wavered, though it did grow softer. "Maybe you shouldn't let your mind decide. Why don't you let your memories and instincts make the choice for you? I think you'll find the answer you're looking for. Just don't lose your faith."
The figure just stood there and Aerith caught a glimpse of glowing blue eyes. They seemed to revere her with astonishment. The sun had just sunk behind the horizon as thunder echoed.
The gaze was broken and the figure concealed himself deeper into the shadows. "You'd best seek shelter. There's a dangerous storm coming."
With that he vanished and Aerith saw another black feather drift in the wind.
The door flew open as a brewing storm silently made his way out of the medical room. The villagers who had gotten to know him quite well could tell something was wrong and decided to mind their own business and give him his space. The only one who seemed oblivious to his ominous aura was the one who had unintentionally caused it.
"Spiky wait up! Just listen to me for a sec!"
But Cloud kept walking, past the large candle where Reno was showing off his 'battle wound' to a local village girl and past the guards who eyed him oddly as he made his way down the stairs and out towards the surrounding cliffs. Zack sped up and placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. It surprised the SOLDIER when he was flipped onto his back and the blonde kept walking.
"Cloud, please don't leave!"
He did stop then. While all Zack could see were his shoulders rising and falling from the deep, angered breaths he was taking after the effort it took to actually flip someone as strong and heavy as Zack he didn't see the wide look in Cloud's eyes as that sentence reached deep within and caused another future memory to surface; a time when Cloud had left his loved ones behind and ignored their pleas for him to return. Only the threat of a great evil returning had actually made him return and his mind's eye placed him in a broken down church with a large flower bed and a badly wounded Tifa lying in its center.
Blinking, Cloud tried to rid himself of that vision as he stared into the vast canyon which had finally chased away the last remaining shadows from the sun. Night had fallen.
Zack got up, but this time he didn't approach his friend. Cloud just stood there, waiting for the lecture. His patience was rewarded fairly quickly.
"I'm sorry. It wasn't meant to happen this way. We wanted to get you into SOLDIER. You saw how excited I was to be your mentor. I still can be! I can call in some time off and stay here to train you. Maybe I can even find a way to sneak some SOLDIER vaccines or something…"
"Why? So I can claim to be a SOLDIER? Run around with glowing eyes and strength and lie to the world? That's not my dream. I've already lived that lie once before and I won't do it again. I don't care how it happens, if it's not official and earned than I don't deserve it."
Zack shook his head. "I'm not asking you to lie-"
"Then what are you doing?" Cloud actually turned then and the glare he shot at him actually hurt Zack more than he'd ever admit. Cloud was staring him down as if he were another bully.
"I'm trying to keep your chocobutt safe! Is that so wrong?"
Cloud's glare narrowed as he shot back, "It is when you think I need to be protected! Maybe I should have accepted Tseng's offer. At least he wouldn't treat me like I'm useless!"
Zack crossed his arms as he shot a stern look of his own. "Oh sure, and when you have another episode you don't think the Turks would take full advantage of that? Do you even realize how much information about the future you spill when it happens? You want the Turks to know what happens and keep us from changing the disasters?"
"We're not changing anything Zack. We're just making things happen out of order and that's just screwing with the timeline! We're only making things worse!"
"We stopped Hojo from what happened in Nibelheim," Zack countered. "I think that's a damn good start."
"Yeah, and because of that he tried to kidnap Aerith five years before he originally planned to. You think that was a good thing?"
Zack bit back an automatic retort because he didn't want to admit that Cloud was right. Still what they did had to be done. "We can't simply fix something in one fell swoop. It takes time, planning, careful steps to make sure we don't royally muck up."
"I guess those steps involve treating me like an invalid, right? I'm only two years younger than you Zack. I've been in the military for a while. I've killed before. I can handle myself!"
Zack actually had to take a big effort to keep himself calm. "Cloud, no one is calling you weak. I'll say it again, just like everyone else has, we are trying to fix things without putting everything on your shoulders."
"By not letting me contribute at all?! Did you ever think maybe there was a reason I became the leader? Maybe Barret wouldn't have lost his friend or his arm this time if I had been allowed to come along. Maybe things would be going better back at Shinra if I hadn't been declared dead. Maybe we could get back to the original plan which you seem to have forgotten!"
"How could I forget? It's MY plan!" Zack hated that he had raised his voice, but it couldn't be helped at this point.
Cloud rolled his eyes as he took on a tone of sarcasm. "Oh, right. I forgot. The mighty Zack can do no wrong. I see how it is."
"What are you talking about Spiky," asked Zack, his voice laced with annoyance.
"Zack's so perfect. He can do no wrong. He's everyone's hero. Throw any threat his way and he can overcome it with ease. Nothing can stop First Class SOLDIER, Zack Fair!"
"ENOUGH!"
Zack roared as he drew the Buster Sword, raised it in a wide swing and struck it deep into the stone canyon floor between them. His eyes blazed with anger as he glared at Cloud. "You don't know anything about what I've had to deal with! How much suffering I've had to endure, but I've kept it hidden. To this day only Aerith has seen me at my weakest. There is no point to let my mistakes and regrets consume me, because if I let them then I'd end up just like Angeal. And I'd never…" His grip tightened around the sword's hilt as he fought back tears. "…I'd never force someone else to do what he made me do…"
He opened his eyes to give his friend the most sincere look he could. There was no smile, he let his true face show for once, letting the months of stress and worries show.
"I can't let fear get the better of me. That's why I choose to laugh in the face of danger. It doesn't make me a hero and it doesn't make me perfect. All I can do is keep going and hope for the best. Letting myself be consumed by dark emotions and depression won't help anybody. You think I like keeping you out of the plan? It was a stupid mistake that wasn't even mine. And Vincent realized how badly he screwed up, but he still thinks what he did can help us, and I agree. Sure, it's hell for you…both of you, but it does help give us an edge. We didn't know Jenova had survived. The general's got people trying to hunt down Hojo's new lab and once we find it, we can make sure we destroy it for good! …Spiky?"
While Zack had revealed his struggles with his inner sufferings Cloud's vision had shifted to show him another memory from a different time. While Zack's voice rang clear Cloud saw himself carried from a truck in the wastelands. He couldn't move and his vision was horribly blurry and tinted with green on the edges. The clearest was at the center as if he could only see with tunnel-vision. He saw Zack though, setting him down against something rough and hard, rock? He felt the warrior mess with his spikes before walking off. Cloud saw his own hand reach out to him, but Zack's back was turned. The scent of blood and rain filled his nose as he looked on, helpless as Zack faced down impossible odds and Cloud tasted mud as he crawled to his fallen friend. There! He saw Zack by the cliff's edge. His chest and face were covered with blood and his uniform vest was shredded with bullet holes. Blood was quickly dying the material red and the rain did nothing to wash the red from Zack's face as he stared upward with empty eyes. Zack twitched, grunted and glanced his way. He smiled and pulled Cloud in for a hug, the last one he'd ever give. Cloud saw his hair stained red as Zack offered his sword. "You'll be my living legacy."
The vision ended and just like that, all Cloud could look at was the sword stuck in the ground and his eyes went wide.
Zack was starting to get worried as he saw the intense fear growing in his friend's eyes. "Cloud?"
"It's rusted…"
"What?" Zack looked down at his sword and gave it a quick once over before giving an internal sigh of relief when he found nothing wrong with it. The weapon was still gleaming and pristine just as Angeal had always kept it. "Cloud, nothing's wrong with my sword."
Cloud shook his head and took a step back. "I can't do it…" He turned and ran.
"Cloud wait!" Zack hurried after him, leaving the sword behind. Thunder echoed from somewhere overhead as a single raindrop hit the sword's blade and slid down.
