Black And Blue
AllzStar
I was awake, but I didn't open my eyes yet. I could hear him breathing, somewhere near me, beside me, in front of me. I could feel his eyes on me. The air around me smelled of flowers and pollen. I felt warm and tingly inside; I smiled smugly as I wiggled my bare toes. My head was lying on my folded arm and I sighed happily.
"Jaxx?" came his voice, quiet and kind, as he sensed my consciousness.
"Peter?" I murmured, smiling at the sound of his soft tenor voice.
I forced my eyes open. I was met with his beautiful crystal blue eyes that I had immediately typecast as cold and bitter. Now I saw, as he looked at me fondly, that they held a great deal more than that. They were thoughtful and intelligent and so much more…and they meant so much to me. They were very special, just like the person they belonged to.
He smiled, his eyes lighting up and dancing in the dewy light. We were lying side-by-side in the meadow, facing each-other, and very close. He was lying in a similar manner to the way I was; a curl of my hair was being twirled around his finger.
"Peter?" I whispered again.
"I was worried I'd killed you." He was completely in his element here: totally relaxed and calm and thoughtful.
I reached my hand towards him. "Quite the opposite," I said, laughing delicately. "In a way, you just woke me up."
"So it worked," he breathed, relief passing over his features. "You remember."
"Yes." I was suddenly overwhelmed with emotion; my eyes welled up so fast they burned. "Oh, Peter—I remember!"
He swept me up in his arms so quick not a tear fell anywhere but his shoulder. We were sitting now; he had me wrapped tightly against him, one arm supporting my shaking back and the other hand stroking my hair.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…," I said between sobs.
"Shh, don't apologize," he mumbled in a soothing tone. "It isn't your fault."
Once I was somewhat through crying I pulled away, wiping my eyes on my sleeve. "I can't believe I couldn't remember you. That must have been agony…it was for me." I took a shaky breath. "I knew there was something missing. As soon as I woke up in that hospital, it felt like a part of me was missing. I just didn't know what."
My head throbbed as all the memories crashed down upon me. I remembered. I had come to Narnia with the Pevensies, through the old wardrobe in the spare room at grandpa's house. I remembered Mr. and Mrs. Beaver and Maugrim the wolf and Mr. Tumnus and Jadis the White Witch. I remembered the Battle for Beruna, fighting back-to-back with Peter, whom I was extraordinarily fond of. I remembered watching Edmund—he was like a brother to me—go down on the battlefield. I remembered watching Aslan die and come back to life again before my very eyes with Lucy and Susan. I remembered sparring with Edmund while Peter and Oreius blatantly shouted out French fencing names. I remembered talking about girl things with Susan as we did each-other's hair, and teaching Lucy how to play chess, and talking to Aslan about the future. I remembered all the tender moments Peter and I had shared, before and after I'd admitted to myself I had fallen in love with him. I remembered all those moments I'd shared with my new friends in clear detail, every word, every feeling, every laugh, giggle and cheer…. I found myself wondering how I could have survived without knowing these wonderful people.
"Was this what you were trying to do before?" I asked Peter after a pause.
"Yes," he replied. He crossed his legs and fiddled with the tall grass. "Susan warned me not to overwhelm you, but that night at the lake, I just…I couldn't handle it anymore." He began to look awkward as he spoke of his feelings. "You don't know how horrible it was knowing that you didn't remember me—us. All that time I wanted nothing more than to tell you everything that had happened, but I was so afraid you'd get scared and run away, leave us again…."
"I'm sorry," I whispered, blinking back more tears.
"It wasn't your fault," Peter insisted firmly, meeting my eyes for just a second. "You fell. It was and accident. If we're going to point fingers, it should me to me. I should have had you on the battlefield with me. You proved this morning you're a natural with a sword."
"We aren't pointing fingers, Peter, and certainly not at you," I said. Then I beamed. "Did I do well this morning?"
"As I said, you're a natural." Peter reflected my smile on his own face. "I was very proud of you."
"I was wondering why I was so good at it. I mean, Caspian's really good. I couldn't believe I was keeping up with him."
"I guess he met his match," replied Peter. The light in his eyes faded a little when Caspian's name was mentioned.
The corners of my mouth curled thoughtfully. "You don't like Caspian too much, do you?"
Peter shrugged haphazardly. "I think we could do without him."
I took his hand. "We wouldn't be here if he hadn't summoned us," I reminded him. "Then I never would have remembered."
During the silence that followed I lay back down on the dewy grass, letting its softness caress my back. I gazed up at the sky as I entered a dreamy stupor, thinking of all the events I was now so glad I remembered.
Peter's voice pulled me back down. "Do you remember the first time we were here?"
He was lying on his stomach, propped up on his elbows, and was gazing at me fondly.
I smiled. "Of course I do."
"Compare the beauty."
"It doesn't matter," I said simply. "You were with me."
He looked away shyly. His blond hair had grown considerably since we were last in Narnia; it was slightly shaggy and curved around his ears and along the nape of his strong neck. His bangs hung before his eyes as he looked at the ground.
"Peter," I whispered tenderly.
He looked at me, his eyes full of contentment. "Yes?"
"I love you."
He brought his mouth to mine in a sweeping movement, kissing me sweetly, caressing my lips with his own. He drew back and I was delighted at the happiness that was finally etched into his features. "I love you too," he murmured, his eyes boring into mine. "You don't know how happy I am to have you back."
"You don't know how happy I am to be back," I agreed, and he kissed me again.
*
The sun was nestled in its nest of mountains as we cantered back to the How. I embraced Peter tightly from behind as I awkwardly straddled the moving horse, my head resting on his shoulder blade. A couple of birds began to sing as we crossed the lush landscape, the sun glinting off the dew in the grass in a way that it seemed we were galloping through a field of diamonds.
We reached the How and stabled the horse just before people began sprinkling out of the chamber, yawning and stumbling around sleepily. Peter sent me inside while he tacked and groomed the horse so it wouldn't look (too) suspicious that we came in together. After all, we had left the How together, stayed away all night, and come back together in the morning. I expected heavy-duty questioning from the girls.
Speaking of the girls, I needed to find them, and Edmund. I needed to give them all big hugs and tell them I'd got my memory back. I was sure they'd be overjoyed.
I saw Edmund first. He was pacing around the field drearily, as if he was walking off sleep.
"Edmund!" I cried.
He looked up and saw me. I bounded across the field in five seconds flat and launched myself into his arms. He stumbled back a few steps as I flung my arms around his neck, burying my face in his bony shoulder. He gave me a few awkward pats on the back.
When I drew myself away from him, the expression of utter bewilderment and confusion on his freckled face made me laugh harder than I had in months. "Oh, Edmund," I gasped between fits of laughter. "I've remembered! I got all my memory back!"
His "She's-lost-it" expression instantly turned to one of glee. He wrapped his arms around me and took me to the air, spinning me around. When he put me down and stepped away I nearly started to cry again at his joyous expression.
"I haven't been so happy since we were coroneted at Cair Paravel!" he cried, bouncing around foolishly. "And even then I wasn't the happiest I could be!"
"Oh, Ed, I missed you!"
"I missed you too!"
We hugged again and laughed ourselves silly, till our abdomens hurt.
"Oh, Lord, sir!" I cried, quoting Shakespeare. "That was fun."
"Race you to the How!" Edmund shrieked over his shoulder as he ran away.
"Hey!" I protested as I charged after him. "That's not fair! You got a head start!"
He beat me by a mile, but we were still beaming from ear to ear as we entered the How together, his arm slung across my shoulder. Ed and I had been the best of friends and still were.
Susan, Lucy and Caspian, who had been standing together talking, looked up as we entered.
"She's sane again," Edmund explained, his voice slurring from the adrenaline rush.
The girls understood immediately. They rushed over to me and swept me up into a crushing hug. Edmund joined in as we all bounced around, shrieking with laughter as tears of joy poured down our faces (Edmund didn't cry, of course).
When all the hugging and crying was over, I looked at Edmund, still gasping for air. "I'm sorry, Ed—but you're a truly terrible actor!"
"What are you talking about?" he asked.
I mimicked his confused expression from the field a moment ago. "Why is she hugging me, I wonda?" I said obnoxiously, exaggerating his dropped vocal range.
Grinning fiendishly, he attacked me, tickling me in all my sensitive places. I screamed as he tackled me to the ground and wiggled around, trying to get away. "Edmund—stop! Can't—breathe!" I cried as he tortured me.
"Enough!"
The voice was so strong and fierce that all the laughter and joy instantly died away. Peter stood in the doorway, observing the happy scene before him with a straight, tense expression. But even from the distance I was sitting from him I could see the amusement in his eyes.
I descended the steps and walked over to us with purpose. "Ed, Jaxx, Caspian," he said firmly, "you're needed outside." His gaze lingered on my eyes before he turned away, his brother reluctantly at his heels.
Susan and I exchanged eye-rolls before I followed them, too.
Outside a sparring circle had been created. Currently two fauns were fencing with vigour, the large crowd of Narnians cheering them on.
Peter, Caspian, Edmund and I joined the crowd. The mini-battle happening at the center of the circle was mesmerizing. The fauns' swift, smooth movements became a sort of dance as they blocked and parried at attacked while Glenstorm, the leader of the centaur pack, cried out French fencing names.
Caspian turned to me. "I think we still have a fight to finish," he said, his beady eyes shining with anticipation.
I grinned wolfishly. "I believe so." I offered him my hand. "I don't believe I have properly introduced myself. I'm Carmen Jackson-Levi. But please, call me Jaxx."
The Telmarine Prince shook my hand. "I am Prince Caspian."
"We'll have a tournament," Peter said, scratching his head feebly. "If you'd like, you two can start, and then Edmund will face the winner. The winner of that battle gets to face me."
"I'm sure the proper term is 'has to face me' not 'gets to face me', great High King," I teased, playfully hitting him upside the head.
He narrowed his eyes, and then grinned. "You'll be needing a sword, Lady Carmen, I presume?" he asked, his eyes glittering in the sunlight.
"Yes, I suppose so."
He led the way back to the How, through the narrow, dark corridors and into the armoury. It was large and very dimly lit. As Peter searched through the racks of swords, I wandered around the room. There were bows and quivers equipped with dozens of arrows, swords and daggers and rapiers of all widths and lengths. There was armour everywhere, breast plates, pauldrons, gardbraces, faulds, gauntlets, greaves, solarets, placards…all embellishes with Aslan's crest. Shields were hung up all along an entire wall, all shapes and sizes, with a design not unlike Peter's shield.
"Here it is," said Peter, taking out a glass case from a large, metal trunk.
I approached him and peered into the case. Inside there lay a magnificent sword, polished to a mirror-like shine, nestled in purple velvet fabric. The hilt was decorated with amesyth stone, and engraved upon the blade itself was the inscription: "When Aslan Shakes His Mane, We Shall Have Spring Again."
I beamed at Peter, who returned the expression. He popped the case open and I carefully removed the gleaming weapon, marvelling in its glory.
"I missed this, too," I murmured, gazing at Father Christmas' gift to me in wonder. "My Gemma."
I ran my hand along the flat of the blade.
Peter had found me a scabbard and some light armour: A protective tunic, a thick skirt and a thick leather cap.
I grimaced. "It's just a spar, Peter."
"I'm not risking anything again, Jaxx." He gently brushed my hair from my shoulders and tugged the cap onto my head.
I reluctantly shed my dress and put on a cream-colored undershirt with billowy elbow-sleeves and then I pulled on the burgundy skirt, securing it at my waist. With Peter's help, I tied myself into the brown tunic, wincing as the corset-like fit of it temporarily cut off my breath.
When I was dressed we started to leave, but Peter suddenly pinned me against the wall. I giggled as he kissed me. "What are you doing?"
"Kissing you."
"Now?"
"Why not?"
"I have a battle to win, remember?" I took his face in my hands and caressed it gently. "We can play after I kick your butt."
He raised an eyebrow. "Who said you're going to kick my butt?"
"No one needs to say anything. It's a given," I replied, laughing.
I bolted out the door of the armoury, ran through the corridors and out of the How, then sprinted across the field. All the time Peter was at my heels. I knew he could easily out-run me, but he generously let me win.
I could see the fauns were still fighting from where I was, so when I reached Edmund and Caspian I jumped right onto Edmund's back. "Help!" I shrieked, trying to catch my breath. "Peter's going to kill me!"
Edmund tried in vain to run from Peter with me clinging to his back, but Peter was taller and a lot faster. He wrapped his arms around me from behind and lifted me off Edmund, but my foot got caught in the crook of Ed's elbow and we all fell down in a heap. The only one laughing was Edmund—Peter and I were out of breath—and he was only laughing at us.
"You two are sick," he gasped between bouts of giggles.
"Sick?" I asked.
"Sickly sweet," he replied, and then proceeded to make gagging noises.
I made a sour face. "You're just jealous."
Edmund cocked an eyebrow and crossed his arms. "Jealous? There's nothing to be jealous of."
By the time Peter and I got to our feet and hugged for a bit, the fauns were done sparring and it was time for Caspian and me to take over. The Telmarine Prince was preparing for the fight a little ways off, though he seemed to be a bit distracted.
Giving Peter a swift kiss on the cheek I made my way to the center of the circle. My blonde hair was cascading down my back from underneath the cap and my back was already beginning to sweat. I wished Peter hadn't made me wear all this extra armour. No one else who was fighting was wearing anything more than their ordinary tunic and shorts. I felt over-dressed, and quite stupid, especially with that silly cap on my head.
None of that matters, I quickly scolded myself. I dared myself to stay focused, forget that all these people were watching me, forget that Peter and Edmund were watching me. Just pay attention to my sword, Caspian's sword and his face. That was all I needed to look at. Nothing else existed.
Caspian had already taken his place while I was getting myself into that frame of mind. His sword was at the ready. It was then I realized how tall he was, probably six feet tall if not more. He was slender, but not skinny, and well-built. It was hard to believe that a girl as slim and light-weight as me had held him off for two hours without resting. Now that I thought about it, I couldn't think how I had done it. But then again, I was the Lady Knight of Narnia. Lady Carmen, captain of Aslan's imperial army.
I frowned when I remembered that piece of my forgotten past. What was Peter doing giving all the instructions when I was supposed to lead the army? Had he been taking advantage of the fact that I couldn't remember anything? I didn't want me to believe it, but I knew that was probably true. Someone had to take over leading the army if I was obtuse to everything anyway, right? And Peter was perfectly eligible for the job.
I turned to look at my loved one, but I couldn't find him—or Edmund—anywhere. Hoping they had just gone looking for a better watching point, Caspian's voice cut through my thoughts.
"Are we duelling or not?" he asked in a playful tone.
I turned to him. "Where's Peter?" I demanded.
He shrugged. "Last time I checked, it was your turn to babysit him."
I smirked. I was happy to see our Prince Caspian had a sense of humour, not to mention it was not unlike my own.
I sunk into fighting position, jerking my chin up disdainfully. "Bring it on, Telmarine."
He grinned coyly, taking his battle stance. He bowed his head. "Of course, Lady Carmen." He prepared his sword.
"En garde!" I cried, and the battle began.
I had to admit, Caspian knew what he was doing when it came to swordplay. He was swift and clever and technically flawless. His facial expressions betrayed him though. Just from the look of his face I could tell what his next move would be.
"Go Jaxx!" I heard someone cry.
Momentarily distracted, I searched around to see who had cried my name. I spun in a circle, keeping Caspian in the corner of my eye. Of course, though, being me, my foot caught on the end of my skirt, and I fell sideways into Caspian.
Everything was a mess of color and sounds. I couldn't quite tell what was going on. I heard someone yell my name—it was definitely Peter—then something hit me hard on the side of my head. The ground rushed up to meet me very fast. I blacked out for a moment.
When I opened my eyes, I was looking into someone's face. He was handsome. His eyes were black and shiny and his skin had an olive tone to it. "Are you alright?" he asked in a clear Hispanic accent.
I blinked, trying to focus. "Who are you?"
