A/N- I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo so so so sorry I've abandoned everyone for so long! My poor Juuroumaru too…. but I swear I'm going to finish this story.
….It's my New Years resolution along with flying a kite.
A crease of worry had formed on Sesshoumaru's forehead. Rin had been away all day, most likely frolicking in the potent wild flowers that crazed Sesshoumaru's sensitive sense of smell. Yet still, something lingered in the back of his mind, bothering him to no end. Was it the scar on Rin's neck that would forever remind him of her mortality- his inability to keep her fresh and young? Was it the fact that she was no longer the affectionate little girl, but instead, a blooming young woman of thirteen? Or was it that, of late, she had been spending numerous hours with the village children who lived away from his forest…
The first time he had seen them, two boys spying on Rin from a hazelnut tree, the desire to tear them apart in the most painful way had urged him into action seconds before Rin laughed and skipped over to them. It was then that Sesshoumaru realized that these other humans were not a new occurrence for Rin- in fact, judging by the way she allowed the darker haired boy to put in arm around her, they could possibly have been old friends. Sesshoumaru let out a low growl, to low for the human ears as he watched the three stalk off through the forest. With more force than necessary, he silently launched himself from the ground to an overhanging tree. For the rest of the day, he tracked them, twitching every time he saw the dark haired boy make discreet advances on his Rin.
By sunset, the two boys had bid Rin farewell, causing Sesshoumaru's low snarl to cease. He dropped from the tree he had been spying from, his eyes narrowing as Rin's gaze met his own. Rin seemed surprised but brushed the emotion away with an unconvincing smile.
"Sesshoumaru-sama," she greeted cheerily, all the while smoothing her rumpled kimono. Sesshoumaru growled in response. Rin flinched a little but held her ground.
"Who are they?" he said, eyes narrow. Rin sighed.
"They are friends Sesshoumaru-sama, they are simply boys from the village." The pleading note in her voice to close the discussion further angered Sesshoumaru.
Sesshoumaru sneered. "So I suppose you'd wish to go live there now, won't you?" He knew it was childish but he didn't think he could take the pain of losing Rin as well.
"That's not what I mean!" cried Rin, her eyes bright and rimmed with tears.
"Then what?" Sesshoumaru hissed, "Why do you spend your time with such common creatures if you do not wish to leave me and live with them?"
Rin's demeanor turned cold. "Common?" her voice rose shrilly. "You forget Sesshoumaru-sama, I too am one of those common creatures. Maybe I should live with them, it is my right- they are my class after all." She nearly shouted the last words, straightening into her whole five foot three.
Had Sesshoumaru himself not been so upset, he might've been appalled by Rin's sense of courage and intimidating stance. She truly had grown up, more than Sesshoumaru realized. She was no longer the battered little orphan, but was instead a beautiful young woman, slowly developing a curvy waist and full breasts. And with these physical changes came attitude changes as well. More frequently, she seemed to get upset, and more often he found her stalking off into the forest.
Sesshoumaru sneered.
"You think you could survive among them? What will happen when you become ill? What if their generous acceptance runs out and you are left homeless? What do you think you will do when there is famine, plague, you know nothing of the life they lead."
"And whose fault is that!" replied Rin scathingly. "To you, I would prefer the plague." The word stung Sesshoumaru. He opened his mouth to reprimand her- say something in his defense, but no words escaped him. Angrily, he whirled around and stalked off in the direction of his home, utterly ignoring Rin's shoulders slump and the small sob that escaped her as she fell into step behind him. He would not allow Rin to be swayed into wanting to live among the villagers. She was foolish- she knew nothing of the animosity, the greed, the weakness of humans.
That day's argument was only the first of many bitter arguments, and each time, Sesshoumaru felt Rin growing more distant from him. Her words became more caustic, more hateful until they no longer spoke at all. Sesshoumaru began to take refuge in the high balcony above his room. He would stare off into the forest, secretly hoping for a hint of lavender among the forest.
He had never quite managed to forget that day some five years ago. The image of his mate, of his beautiful companion had refused to cease in nagging him. There were times when Sesshoumaru would wake in the night, feeling beside him for a whisper of lavender mane or a pale, smooth waist. The torturous emptiness, along with the knowledge of Rin growing apart from him began to take its toll on Sesshoumaru's strong frame. He lost what little color constant movement had alighted in his cheeks. He dropped a frightening amount of weight until he seemed as frail as Juuroumaru had been when Sesshoumaru had found him. His eyes dulled until their color was hardly recognizable and the Great Sesshoumaru seemed little more than a husk of what he had once been.
Rin's adamant refusal of speaking was forgotten as she tried to help Sesshoumaru. Jaken as well worried over his Lord, shrieking with worry and alerting the entire household of Sesshoumaru's downward descent. Few of the servants actually knew Sesshoumaru so they were not really bothered, but the ones who did, Kyo, and Jaken set to helping him.
They were dismayed to find that little could be done. When spoken to, Sesshoumaru didn't seem to hear. It was as if he had taken refuge somewhere inside himself where he could neither hear nor feel. Nothing Rin, Jaken or Kyo would say or do would suffice to liven him. His eyes were dull as they stared out the window and his thick pelt was tangled and matted.
Finally, Rin could take it no longer. She packed up her bag, taking what few things would be necessary as well as the small gifts and trinkets Sesshoumaru had presented her with over the years. She returned to Sesshoumaru who didn't even look up as she entered. She leaned down to him and pressed a light kiss to his temple.
"Thank you Sesshoumaru-sama. I will never forget…" without looking back, she turned and left.
Nobody tried to stop her, but multiple servants watched her with sorrowful eyes. Kyo met her in the hall looking betrayed and confused. She only shook her head in response to his questioning gaze before stepping around him and out of the house.
Tears stung her eyes as she braved the forest, holding her sack close less a vine snag it. Her ears were alert for the sounds she was searching for. She trekked for a few days with little success. She had heard not a sound nor seen a trace of what she was searching for and she was beginning to feel as if she should return to Sesshoumaru where her care seemed more necessary than the fruitless journey.
finally, on the fourth day of her trek, while dipping her petit feet in a running stream alongside a beach, her mysterious target found her and nearly pounced on her. With a cry she jumped back out of harms way, brandishing her walking stick in feeble defense. Her eyes widened as old fears and memories surfaced and the knowledge that Sesshoumaru was not here to help her was realized. She looked up, slowly. framed by a mane of lavender hair, a pair of dark, sapphire eyes met her gaze.
