Warnings: Discussions of dark soul magic and past abuse. Slash sex. I attempted to keep it to an M level; MA version is on AO3 as always. Sub Severus. Playful discussion of kinks and a serious discussion of limits. Mild submission/domination themes.

Summary: Severus and Harry talk about their narrow miss with the soul spell, celebrate their engagement, make some interesting discoveries about Harry's teammates, and learn about each other.

***AN: There is a sketch available for this chapter on AO3, under the same username. Links and images are just too difficult on this site.***


CHAPTER 12

Outside the Lines

Harry was thoroughly enjoying his engagement party, and Severus looked to be having a good time too. At least until Ron stood from the kitchen table, champagne flute in hand and swaying like a sapling in the wind.

"To Harry and Severus! May their days always be joyful and their wands always be polished!"

"Ronald Weasley!" Molly's screech barely registered in the gales of laughter and cheers Ron's ribald comment had provoked.

"Dear Merlin," said an amused Draco, "the man is a savage."

George sidled up to Draco's side and gave him a saucy wink. "He's not the only one in the family, either."

Draco gulped. "Um, t-thanks, but I prefer women. Really."

Charlie batted his eyes at Draco. "Are you sure about that, Drakie-poo?"

"Positive." Draco edged closer to Harry's best friend. "Er, Hermione, would you mind beating these Weasleys off me with a stick?"

"I've just the one for the job." Hermione brandished her wand.

Charlie laughed and held up his hands. "I surrender! I'll take a nesting Chinese Fireball over an angry Hermione any day!"

"Don't you forget it," said Hermione, the corners of her lips twitching. "George?"

Laughing boisterously, George raced back to his place by Angelina's side. "Yes, yes. I surrender too. It was only meant as good fun."

"Next time get your fun without terrifying people," said Draco with a huff.

By the way Angelina was shooting daggers at her husband, she hadn't appreciated the joke either.

"Looks like you're in the doghouse for that one, George," Harry said, chortling. "Can't resist a laugh, even when it gets you your arse handed to you on a platter, hmm?"

George chuckled and raised his glass. "Gotta carry on the legacy, mate."

A hazy cloud of grief settled onto the room.

"Oh," said Molly, her voice tremulous and low. "Yes, I suppose …." She tugged out a handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes. "Fred would have so loved to see this, our Harry, all grown up and bonding to Severus."

"That he would have, Mollywobbles," said a subdued Arthur.

"He'd have had us all wearing bat wings in Severus' honour," said George with a wan chuckle. "Might have done myself had I more time to prepare."

Severus smiled at the remaining Weasley twin. "This is one time I might have simply appreciated the humour and not taken an exorbitant amount of points, student or no."

Harry leaned in close to his side, his heart aching with loss. "I miss him."

"So do we all," Severus murmured, holding his fiancé close.

"To Fred," Hermione said, tears in her eyes as she lifted her glass.

"To Fred," Harry echoed in a whisper. The clinking of glasses drowned out the sound of Harry's sniffles, at least until the toast ended.

"None of that, mate," said a misty-eyed Ron. "It's your party—no sad faces allowed."

Harry chuckled and wiped his eyes. "All right, I'll try not to bring everyone down."

"Hear, hear," said George with a nod. "And to that end, I saw the funniest thing today whilst sorting the Beary-Berry Bites …."

Ron settled in beside Harry and Severus as the party recovered and went on. "So listen, mate. 'Mione and Draco tried to explain this half-souled thing to me, but I really don't get it. Can you put it in plain English for us savages?"

Draco snorted and choked on his champagne. Severus patted his back without missing a beat.

Harry set his glass down and sighed. "Well, I can try. The spell I used to revive Severus in the shack was dark. Dark as they come. All soul magic is. You're really, really not supposed to mess with souls."

"Got that much from the horcrux hunt, mate," said Ron with a shudder.

"Okay, good. So that whole book was soul magic. And it had some really gruesome stuff in there. Urgh." Harry shuddered too.

"Understatement, love," said a grim Severus.

"Lovely." Ron grimaced. "Glad it was a bit over my head then. But this spell you cast back then, what exactly did it do?"

"Well, we're not entirely sure of the details," said Draco, "but between Harry, Hermione, Severus, and the twins, I think we have it mostly worked out."

Harry shook his head. "Best as we can do anyway."

Ron nodded. "So …?"

"Well, the spell saved Severus' life, obviously. But as all dark magic has a cost, it exchanged half of our souls to do it and bound us together as a result. Now Severus' body carries half of my soul, and I carry half of his. We're linked forever, even after we die." He lowered his voice so as not to interrupt the party or trouble Ron's pregnant wife. "That link has to stay intact, or we split down the middle like Riddle after his first horcrux."

Ron went ashen. "What? Mate, you can't—that's … no. Tell me it won't happen."

"It won't," Severus supplied. "Harry and I are bonding, so as soon as the ceremony is ended and the bond is consummated, the link between us will seal permanently. After that day, nothing can separate us, not even death."

Ron nodded hesitantly. "So … you'll be okay then?"

Severus nodded. "We believe so. There is no guarantee it will heal Harry's curse—we still need to find the original curse before we will know that—but given the cause, we believe it will."

"That's a bloody relief, that is." Ron grinned. "Glad you'll be okay, mate. I've missed you these past few weeks."

Harry grinned back. "So have I."

Ron patted Harry's shoulder. "We're not letting you leave us again, you hear? But I still don't really understand how this spell works. You said the cost for this spell was switching half of your souls? How exactly did that save Severus?"

"Well, like Harry said, we don't completely understand it either," said Draco, "but we think that because in his hour of need, Severus received the soul energy of a healthy individual, it healed his wounds and tied his life force to Harry's, at least while the spell was active. But the cost of the spell was that they would be forever bound."

"Not that it is much of a cost," said Severus with a kiss to Harry's cheek. "Excepting the pain Harry went through from Bellatrix's curse, of course."

Harry nodded vigorously. "Yeah, glad that's over. Well, almost."

"That … doesn't sound too terrible though," said Ron. "Why's it considered so dark?"

Harry fixed him with a grim look. "Because if Severus and I couldn't bond for whatever reason—if he was already bonded with someone else, for example—our souls would have been forever at risk of breaking. The moment one of us died, the remaining partner would start to go mad."

Ron gulped. "Merlin. I take it back. That is awful."

"That's not the half of it," said a stern Draco. "Harry was lucky enough to finish that healing spell before Severus' time ran out. If he hadn't …."

Harry shivered and hugged his arms. "Yeah. If Severus had died before I finished the incantation … Merlin help us all. We would have only had one soul between us—mine. Severus' would have already gone on, and since the spell restores life by blending souls, the result would have left us with literally half a soul each. We'd both be mad then. Maybe worse. And there would have been no reprieve, no way to fix it at all short of killing us both."

Ron cringed. "Dear gods. Really glad you didn't leave it too late then."

"Merlin, so am I. I knew it would cost, but I never thought it would be that dangerous." Harry gulped the rest of his champagne to drive the chill from his blood. "Could've turned us both into monsters."

Severus tapped Harry on the head. "And what have we learned from this experience?"

"Don't use dark magic," said Harry with a sigh. "Really, how many times am I to have my ears boxed before everyone moves on?"

Ron smirked. "Maybe for the next century or so."

"Story of my life."

Severus chuckled. "Exactly."


The morning after the dinner—where everyone except Katie had gotten sloshed in celebration and partied long into the night—Severus woke still a bit muzzy and dragged himself to the loo. He had gone through his usual morning routine clear down to his usual shaving spell when he suddenly remembered why he'd woken in unusual surroundings. His heart sank at the memory of Harry's curse and what his lack of proximity cost the man. Appalled at his lack of forethought, he came tearing back into the bedroom.

But Harry was sleeping peacefully, a smile on his face.

Severus gaped. Could they move apart further now that they had promised to bond? The loo wasn't far from the bed, so just in case, he backed away to the furthest corner of the room to test the curse's limits.

As he had feared, as soon as Severus' back hit the wall, Harry began crying out and twitching in his sleep. He bolted up and cried, "Severus!"

Severus dashed back in range and kissed the man out of his fear. "Here, pet. I am here."

Harry buried his face in Severus' throat. "Sirius was screaming at me. Said I defiled the family by loving you." He choked back a sob. "Why, Severus? Why can't he let it go?"

Severus stroked a gentle hand through Harry's hair. "Oh, Harry. I … I do not know. Perhaps he died before he matured enough to allow for such change."

"Or perhaps he was never capable of it in the first place," said a bitter Harry.

Severus cradled his lover close and kissed his forehead. "Love, forgive me. I wanted to test the strength of your curse as it appears to have weakened again, but I did not intend to cause you such pain."

Harry sighed and wiped his eyes. "It's not you hurting me—it's him. Or the bit of his soul that's trapped here, or whatever it is in my head. Maybe it's just my fears of how he would react making him so stubborn."

Severus withheld the information that the latter was extremely unlikely with soul magic.

Harry frowned and rubbed his forehead. "Wait a tick, what do you mean the curse is weakened, Sev? How do you know?"

Severus flushed. "I am afraid I was not fully cognizant when I awoke this morning. I had quite forgotten about your curse and simply started my usual routine, but when I awoke enough to remember your illness, you were sleeping without trouble. So I decided to see how far away I could walk without triggering it again." He shook his head. "I had hoped, since you were asleep, its effects would not be as devastating."

"Oh. No, it's a bit easier when I have warning."

Severus nodded. "I shan't test it again without your knowledge."

"Thank you, love."

"I am sorry. I did not mean to trouble you."

"It's okay." Harry curled into Severus' arms and smirked. "Though, I suppose I could be placated, if you're interested."

"Hmm? What is it you wish for, pet?"

Harry traced a hand up the inside of Severus' thigh, sending shocks and heat through the older man. "You. If you're willing. I'm barely holding myself back."

Severus panted. "Merlin, you want me?"

"You bet that sweet arse I do." Harry's hands cupped Severus' bum and squeezed. "And it is a particularly nice arse."

Severus could not help pressing back into Harry's hand, but he kept his moans in check. "H-how do you want me then?"

Harry sucked in a sharp breath. "Wait, wait—you're going to let me take control?"

Severus blanched. "I … I am not … if you would rather not—mmph!"

Harry cut him off with a fierce, soul-searing kiss. "You have no idea how hot that is. I've fantasised, having you spread out underneath me, hair mussed and pleading for me, but gods, I never imagined you'd actually let me do it."

Relieved, Severus wrapped his arms around Harry's neck and pulled him close. "You want to lead, then? You want to take control of my body and make me cry out your name?"

"Bloody hell!" Harry groaned and pressed Severus back onto the bed. "Merlin, yes." He paused. "Sev, wait. Before we get too into this, do you prefer to be … ah, led? I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

Severus flushed. "I … have had little experience to speak of, Harry, and what I do have is lacklustre at best. But with you, I think I should like to surrender control for once and let you take me where you will."

"Oh gods." Harry moaned into Severus' neck. "You want to submit to me, pet? You want to place this beautiful body in my hands?"

Severus hesitated, a spark of fear chilling his heart. "Y-yes, as long as you do not strike me or otherwise hurt me. I have had enough of pain and do not find it arousing in the least."

"Good. I don't want to hurt you." Harry held Severus' face and kissed him until his fears melted away. "There we are." He nuzzled Severus' nose. "You're safe with me, angel. I swear it, I'll never hurt you. Not even if, later on, we decide to play. That's not really something I'm into as a lifestyle, but if you need me to take control and let you just openyourself to pleasure …." He shivered and let slip a soft moan. "Dear gods, just talking about it—yeah, love. If that's what you need, I'll take care of you."

Severus tilted back his head and lifted his hands above his head, moving slowly and deliberately so Harry got the message.

"Bloody hell, that's so …." Harry sucked in a sharp breath, pupils dilated, lips parted. "Gods, you're like molten sex and I've barely even started." He suckled at Severus' throat, sending delightful tugs of heat through the older man's body. "Oh, Sev. I'm not going to last."

Severus panted and arched into Harry's kisses. "Mm. There is … ah, always next time."

Harry leaned back, eyes blazing with emerald fire. "Yes, there is. And you're mine now, love."

Severus gasped as his enthusiastic mate launched a frontal assault on his throat and ears. "Yes, yes, yours. Make me yours."

Harry moaned into Severus' throat. "Gods, going to make me come just talking like that."

"Perhaps you should silence me then."

"Dear Merlin!"

Harry did silence him then, with a kiss that sucked the very breath from Severus' lungs.

Severus arched into Harry, letting his partner guide him, allowing passion and love to take him over for the first time in his life. He had never trusted a partner enough to feel like this, never felt safe enough to truly let go, but in Harry's arms, he knew he would be protected. Cherished. Loved.

As Harry's lips sought out every sensitive spot on Severus' body, the older man fell almost into a trance, losing himself in the sounds, the sensations Harry's lips and hands brought out of him. Oh, gods. Submitting like this, letting Harry take him however he wanted, Merlin, it was liberating. He had never experienced anything so intense, so thrilling. Every touch was sheer ecstasy.

Harry's kisses moved below the waist, and Severus cried out with pleasure.

"Harry!"

"Yes," Harry panted against his thighs. "Merlin, yes. Gods, so hot."

Severus let himself fall into sensation, closed to everything but the feel of Harry's warm kisses, the lithe body moving against his own. The heat and tension inside his belly built and grew, spreading through his body and curling his toes, until his world finally whited out in an explosion of pleasure. He might have screamed Harry's name—he wasn't sure. All he knew was that Harry was loving him, lapping him up, and Merlin, nothing had ever felt like this before.

"H-Harry …."

The young man climbed up Severus' body and flopped down beside him, panting and flushed all over. Severus reached down, intending to bring pleasure to his beloved in turn, but found Harry was just as sated as himself.

"I … but I did not touch you."

Harry gave a breathless laugh. "Hearing you call my name like that was enough to inspire about a thousand wet dreams. I came when you did, and barely had to touch myself at all."

Severus caught his lover into a passionate kiss, enjoying the taste of himself on Harry's tongue. "Ah, beloved. If this is what it feels like to make love to you, I am not sure I will survive to old age."

Harry chuckled. "That makes two of us. Merlin. I feel like a teenager all over again."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Precocious, were you?"

Harry snorted. "With Voldemort in my head? Merlin, no. I just meant I was quick off the mark." He leaned on his elbow and smirked at his partner. "But I will say, having the real Half-Blood Prince in my bed is certainly a far cry better than my adolescent fantasies of him."

Severus flushed. "You … fantasised about me, even then?"

"Well, I didn't realise it was you at the time. But then again, I should have wondered why my fantasy lover had long black hair, eyes dark as night, and a slim physique like a certain potions master I know."

Severus turned Harry onto his back and caught him into a passionate kiss.

They didn't make it downstairs until lunchtime.


Two weeks went by in relative peace. Harry and Severus spent their time growing closer together, both as a couple and as friends. Severus learned Harry had once dreamed of being a famous chef before he found out he was a wizard and fame wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Harry showed Severus his recipe stash, and together they spent time trying some of the ones he had always thought too difficult. With Severus' help, those complicated measurements and precise techniques became easier. Before they'd been at it long, Harry thought they could have done even Molly Weasley proud.

In turn, Harry learned that Severus had a secret talent for art and used his skills with a pencil to accurately record the details of every new plant or creature he came across on his foraging expeditions. Severus shared his potions journals with Harry and, while the younger man had never had much talent for art, Harry spent hours watching, fascinated, as Severus sketched anything in the house that struck his fancy.

Harry treasured every moment spent exploring this secret soft side to Severus, the one he showed no one but his partner. Before his eyes, Severus was blossoming like a winter rose, and Harry loved seeing him so happy. Harry had never been so happy either.

However, it came as a bit of a surprise that they weren't the only ones learning about the joys of a new relationship.

Harry woke before Severus one morning and decided to let his exhausted fiancé sleep. Harry had kept him up the night before exploring his body, seeking every place that made him quiver or cry out. Severus had been positively wrecked by the time Harry had finally finished with him. And as Harry had more nefarious plans for that evening, he thought it best to let the man have his sleep. They had yet to truly consummate their relationship, but he sensed Severus was ready, and Harry was too.

Besides that, every step they made closer to each other diminished the effects of the curse on Harry's soul. And Harry was more than ready to see the outside world again.

Curious to see how far the curse would let him go after the previous night's discoveries, Harry readied himself for the day as quietly as possible and slowly backed out of the bedroom. He made it to the kitchen—as far as he had ever progressed alone—and was just about to whoop with joy when he turned and caught sight of Draco in a deep kiss with Hermione.

His jaw hit the floor, but as his friends had yet to notice his presence, Harry tiptoed out of the room and back into bed with his fiancé. Harry sat down next to his lover, feeling as if some fundamental rule of the world had just been turned on its head.

Severus groaned and rubbed his eyes. "Harry? What time is it?"

"After ten. We slept late." Harry frowned and stared at the door. "Severus, have you ever come across something that you know is real, but you just can't figure out how it happened?"

"Every day. I still do not understand what you see in me."

"I see how beautiful you are." Harry's expression softened. "I guess he sees it too."

Severus tensed. "He? Harry …."

Harry soothed him with another gentle caress. "Easy, love. I wasn't talking about us."

"Oh. Forgive me. I should not be so frightened, but …."

"But your past has left you vulnerable and it'll take time to heal that. It's okay." Harry stroked through Severus' hair, easing out the tangles from sleep. "No, actually, it's your godson who just surprised the hell out of me."

Severus sat and rubbed his eyes. "Draco? What has he done?"

"Well, I'm not sure that's exactly—I mean, he hasn't done anything, per se …."

"Harry?"

Harry snorted. "It's nothing, really. I was just surprised. I tested the curse earlier—made it all the way to the kitchen, and turned around to find Draco with his tongue down Hermione's throat. She didn't seem to mind, either."

Severus froze mid-yawn, making a strangled sound of shock. "Draco and Miss Granger?"

"Exactly."

"His mother will be positively thrilled."

Harry's eyes narrowed. "She had better be, or else she'll find her arse on the wrong end of the 'Chosen One's' wand."

Severus chuckled. "I will try to soften her up once it is safe to leave."

"Hmm. Not sure I want you to leave my side."

Severus nuzzled Harry's hand. "I do not wish to either, but I must return to work soon. I am afraid I do not have endless funds to fall back on like the Chosen One does."

Harry shot him a glare.

"I am not the one who started slinging titles about," said Severus with a laugh.

"Humph." Harry trembled and wrapped his arms around his waist. "Sev, you … you won't leave me, will you? At least not until it's safe?"

"If I must, I will set up my lab in the basement again and work from there." Severus stretched and brushed his hair from his face. "Actually, that is not a bad idea. It would at least allow me to catch up on the owl orders and restock the shelves at the shop. Bethany can run the storefront by herself, and I can brew anywhere so long as there is a way to transport the potions."

"Kreacher can take them if you do it in big batches and make them easy to carry for him. I don't want him traveling back and forth all day though—he's just too old for it. The team could maybe take another batch at the end of the day if you need more. Or if you do need to keep going back and forth, maybe we could look into finding an elf for you."

"I do not wish to burden an elf unnecessarily. I will make several at once to send over with Kreacher, if he is so disposed."

Harry gave a wry laugh. "Well, you and I share a soul, Sev."

Severus froze. "So that is why he obeys me. He already considers me his master since we are linked."

"Yeah."

Severus nodded. "Then I will swear to treat him well."

"Thanks."

"Not at all." Severus sat and kissed Harry's cheek. "Well, since I am awake now, let us get the lab set up so I at least have a stable income while I am here."

"All right, love. Get dressed and I'll tell Kreacher what we're doing." He chuckled. "And the lovebirds. Think I should shock them?"

Severus smirked. "If you can manage it."

"Done!" Laughing under his breath, Harry darted out of the room.


Merlin, Harry was tired. Setting up Severus' lab had taken much more out of him than he had anticipated, even with Ron, Bill, Draco, and Percy to help. Apparently professors and professional potions masters were worlds apart when it came to lab standards. He had never heard of half of the gear Severus had him move into the basement, let alone used it. What in Merlin's name was a Bunsen burner and why did a wizard need one when Severus was perfectly capable of producing flames wandlessly?

In the end, Harry and the others just let Severus direct and placed things where the man wanted them. And even if Harry didn't understand why on earth Severus needed so much equipment or even what half of it was for, he didn't complain. After all, Severus was doing this for him, so that he might keep his livelihood and look after Harry at the same time. The least Harry could do was help him get settled.

But damn, he was exhausted. So much for his grand plans to make Severus his that night. He still wanted to, but his aching back and legs suggested he might want to put the idea off for one more day.

Well, it was only a little while, really. He could wait a day. Maybe.

With a sigh for his broken plans and overeager libido, Harry trudged into the downstairs loo after a pain potion. A mild one might help him sleep anyway. He chugged it down and brushed his teeth, and after a nice, hot shower, felt more human again. With a yawn, he dragged himself upstairs, thinking of nothing more than his bed and snuggling in Severus' arms.

But he stopped at the bedroom threshold, transfixed by the sight within.

Severus was sitting against the headboard, dressed in just a white poet shirt and his pants, a sketchbook propped on his knees. He bent over the page, long black hair tucked behind his ears. A slight frown of concentration creased his brows and his hand flew over the paper, charcoal pencil marking away.

Harry leaned against the doorway and watched Severus work, a soft smile spreading over his face. Even with his skills as an auror, Harry rarely managed to sneak up on the former spy unawares and catch him in private moments like this one. Severus had lost himself to his work and his focus was beautiful to watch.

He was a beautiful man, really. To Harry, he was perfect.

Harry traced the shape of his lover's profile, adoring everything from his hooked nose to his angular jaw to the slender, athletic body he enjoyed so much. If he looked closely, he imagined he could see the play of muscles under Severus' shirt as he moved. His eyes drifted back to the man's hands, the elegant fingers and practiced movements, and Harry frowned.

Something was missing.

Ah! There was no reference object. Severus always drew from life—at least that Harry had seen. Whenever he sketched, the man was always looking back and forth between his paper and his reference, but this time, Severus was wholly focused on the page. He hardly blinked.

Curiosity overcame Harry and he crept closer, trying to stay out of sight and hearing, but getting near Severus Snape without his knowledge—even a completely absorbed Severus—was no easy task. Harry only caught a glimpse of a straight nose, laughing lips, messy hair, and vivid eyes—painted green underneath the pencil—before Severus jumped and closed the book with a snap.

"Oh, Harry! You startled me."

Harry just gave Severus a soft smile and climbed into bed beside his lover. "You're beautiful."

Severus kissed Harry lightly. "I am?"

"Mm-hmm. I couldn't resist watching you work. So much of your soul comes out when you work on your projects. It's fascinating to watch."

Severus flushed and held his sketchbook to his chest. "You were watching?"

"Mm-hmm. May I see your picture?"

Severus hesitated. "I … it is … inaccurate. The … subject is difficult to render well at the best of times, and working from memory is perhaps even more s—"

Harry silenced him with a soft kiss. "I'm sure it's beautiful, Severus. Art doesn't need to be exact to be good."

Severus moved his book back to his knees and frowned at the cover. "I am unused to accepting anything less than absolute accuracy."

"Yes, you're a total perfectionist," said Harry with a low chuckle. "But that's all right. It means your work is fantastic when you're satisfied with it."

"Hmm."

"I meant that as a compliment, love. Your attention to detail means your drawings are stunning." Harry wrapped an arm around Severus' waist from behind and tugged the man against his side. "Art comes in different forms though. Your scientific drawings—well, it's pretty important to get all the details right then. Otherwise you might end up recording a different species by accident. But this …." He ran a finger across the cover. "It was just for you, wasn't it? Not to record a scientific finding but to … give life to something important to you, right?"

Severus gave him a hesitant nod. "This is not my sketchbook for nature drawings."

"It's your personal book?"

"Yes."

"Then it's okay if the details aren't exact. What matters in that kind of art is the emotion, the expression behind it. And I'm betting these are full of emotion."

Severus closed his eyes and leaned closer. "They are full of you."

Harry's breath caught. "Yeah?"

"I suppose it is only fair to show you since you have inspired so many of them, at least the latter half."

"Oh. Sev, that's … yeah, let me see. Please."

Severus laid the book on the crease of their legs and hesitantly moved his hands away. "I … this is my heart, Harry. My life. I am a little afraid."

Harry squeezed Severus into his side and kissed him, sampling of his lover with soft laps of his tongue. Severus clutched at the man's shoulder and melted into him.

"I will cherish it, love," Harry whispered against Severus' lips. "I cherish you."

Severus kissed Harry slow and deep, making him forget his aches and pains for a bit.

"Sev …."

Severus pulled back with a breathless laugh. "Mm, go and look before I lose my nerve. Or my focus."

Harry kissed him once more. "You're made of nerve, Severus. Pure courage. But I'll look to relieve your fears."

He took a deep breath and opened the book. There, on the first page, was a mirror. A childishly-drawn little boy with a hooked nose scowled into it and punched his reflection.

Harry kissed the tip of Severus' nose and whispered, "You're beautiful to me, love."

Severus shivered and laid his head on Harry's shoulder. Harry stroked the man's side idly as he turned page after page, revealing the depths of Severus' heart as well as the progression of his skill. Many of the first pages featured a child either trying to abuse or change his appearance or cowering from an older man. Later, the older man shifted into bullies Harry wished he didn't recognise.

Harry held Severus tighter through the pictures featuring the Marauders and pressed the occasional kiss to his brow.

Halfway through the man's school years, a drawing showed Severus running for his life, his shirt torn half off and Sirius wielding a magical whip behind him. Dark droplets trailed after Severus, droplets Harry was too terrified to identify.

"No," he breathed. "Severus … did this really happen?"

Severus lifted his head long enough to glance at the picture and shuddered. "No. It was not a literal event. I simply used that to illustrate how I felt about Black's constant attacks."

Harry stared at the image a long time, a hollow ache in his chest for Severus' anguish. "It's … it's very … I'm not even sure what the word is but I can feel your pain. And I half want to go out of the curse's range for a moment just to tell Sirius he's demented and an arsehole and … and …." He turned his face into Severus' cheek and closed his eyes to hold back tears.

Severus turned the page. "Move on, pet. However much he hurt me, it is over now."

"It's not though. You still have bad dreams, you still flinch at certain things, you still hurt inside, and I don't know how to heal it."

Severus kissed Harry's tears away and caressed his cheek. "This is how, Harry. You care about my pain and my bad dreams and my fears. You hold me when I am weak and let me stand on my own when I need to be strong. In short, you love me."

"Is it enough?"

Severus held him closer. "Harry, recovering from thirty-eight years of abuse will take time. I have what the Muggles call Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, which essentially means I am damaged from everything I endured as a child and during the war. Many soldiers suffer from it. I believe you have it as well, and doubly so after your experiences with this terrible curse."

He cupped Harry's cheek. "But never doubt that you are healing me, Harry, simply by being here and being the beautiful person that you are. You treat me as a precious gift; you cherish me, and make me feel absolutely adored. After a life of utter solitude and hatred, your love is slowly washing away all those years of misery. You are helping me much more than the potion I take."

Harry frowned. "You're taking a potion for this, love? I've never seen it."

Severus flushed. "Well, it is a bit embarrassing to admit. I was also seeing a mind healer, but I have not been able to go since coming here." He gave a low chuckle. "I imagine she will be amazed with my progress at the next session."

Harry gave him a shy smile. "Um, would it be okay if I came with you next time? Just to support you?"

Severus kissed him and smiled back. "I will need to ask her first, but I would love to have you with me." He returned his head to Harry's shoulder and nuzzled close. "And you worry that you do not help me enough. Simply keep loving me as you do, and one day, I will be whole again. I feel better every day."

Tears prickled Harry's eyelids. He hadn't realised his love was having this profound of an effect on his mate. Harry kissed him slowly.

"Severus, I want to talk about your drawings. All of them, one by one."

Severus frowned. "There is not so much time tonight."

Harry chuckled. "No, no. Over time, love. Maybe we can spend some time every night talking about one of your drawings and one of my memories. Good and bad. Maybe that way we can heal each other."

"Mm, I think that is an excellent idea."

"Good. For tonight, I think I'd just like to look at what you were drawing when I came in."

"As you wish."

Severus turned the pages in his book, showing his fascinated mate glimpses of his life. Harry gasped and stopped the man about halfway through when he realised he was looking at a drawing of himself as a child.

Beneath a crop of messy curls, tearful green eyes behind glasses too large for the boy's face pleaded with a young man for help. Harry's small form—and that of a beefy man dragging him away—occupied one side of the paper. Harry was arching, twisting, struggling to get away from the faceless big man, but he was trapped. The boy begged for help, but the only occupant of the drawing who seemed to be concerned with him was just as trapped.

On the other side of the drawing, Severus was struggling to escape a bearded wizard dragging him away by the right arm. A giant snake had swallowed half of Severus' left arm and was pulling him away by it, sharp fangs tearing his flesh and leaving bloody streaks behind. Harry winced at the all-too-apt imagery of the former dark lord. It was simply too close to the truth to be borne. He tore his eyes away from the great snake and looked to Severus' face in the drawing instead.

It was nothing like the blank mask he had worn in those days—rather than pretending to be emotionless, he was near hysterical. Tears streaked his face and his mouth was screaming with silent rage. Fearful, guilty eyes had locked on the boy form of Harry—it was clear he wanted to help the child, but he couldn't escape.

Harry stared at the image for a long time, struck by the pain, the helplessness of both forms.

"This is … probably the most accurate summary of those years I've ever seen," he said in a breaking voice. "You were miserable watching me suffer, huh?"

Severus shuddered and hugged Harry tight. "It was the … the most difficult time of my life. I wanted so much to save you, but I could not. Instead, I had to pretend to hate you to keep you alive, when I loved you." He flushed. "Well, not the same way that I do now—I am not that depraved, thank you very much—but I loved you just the same. You were such a brave boy, but I could see the pain you tried to hide, and I wished I could heal you rather than heaping more anguish upon your head."

Harry kissed him lightly. "Maybe it's a good thing that you couldn't. Not that you had to suffer by it, but if you'd been able to be a guide to me in those years, I don't know if I'd be able to love you the same way I do now. You'd have been locked in as a …."

Severus scowled. "Yes, well, let's not talk about that. I am fully aware I am old enough to be your father. You needn't remind me."

Harry soothed him with a passionate kiss. "Maybe you're old enough, but I don't see you that way. Not at all."

"Thank Merlin for that."

Harry snickered against Severus' neck. "Daddy kink a bit too weird for you then?"

Severus gave him a disgusted look. "Dear gods, Harry."

Harry burst into laughter. "Oh, come on, Sev. I was only teasing."

"I shall have nightmares about your teasing for years to come."

Harry buried a chuckle against Severus' cheek. "Sorry, love. If it helps at all, it's really not my thing either." He slipped a gentle hand under Severus' shirt and caressed the older man's hip. "Definitely not a father figure. Just my sexy lover I adore."

Harry stroked just under the waistband of Severus' underwear, and Severus panted into Harry's throat.

"G-good. Do you intend to finish what you have started then?"

Harry nuzzled the older man's cheek. "Hmm?"

"Ah … I had thought you might be too tired tonight."

Harry kissed Severus with heat and passion until the older man was mewling into him and clutching at Harry's shirt.

"You know, I was when I came in here. I'm not now."

Severus suckled Harry's neck, making Harry gasp and tip back his head. "Hmm, if you are still tired, we may always rest tonight and resume our carnal pursuits tomorrow."

"After that? Forget it."

Harry closed the sketchbook and sent it and Severus' pencils to the nightstand on his lover's side of the bed. With Severus' precious drawings out of the way, Harry eased his lover back onto the pillows and leaned over him.

"I want all of you tonight." He paused. "Unless you'd rather wait, love?"

Severus responded by pulling Harry down into a fierce kiss.