Disclaimer: Just to keep it simple: A. I don't own Power Rangers. B. I just make fun of them; so don't get upset if I mock your favorite. C. Please review. I don't mind constructive criticism. D. Thanks to Writer's Guide to the Universe and Power Rangers Central for providing a lot of the information that I need.
If you haven't done so, please read the first hundred and fifty stories in "When Rangers Meet," "More of When Rangers Meet," and "Headquarters Where Rangers Meet"
This is story number twenty.
Kira and Cole
By
Eileen (Psycho Tangerine)
"Hello? Kira's Song Creations. You give me the topic and I'll write you a song."
"Do you do parties?"
"Parties? What kind of parties do you mean, Sir?" (yeah, rub right there, Conner…mmmmhhhh.)
"I need someone to do a birthday party."
"What kind? I can do songs for computer geeks, science teachers, old men who used to turn into dinosaur aliens, principals with dominatrix complexes, and soccer freaks." (OW! Don't pinch me!)
"Well, uh that's an unusual assortment. I just need it for my baby's birthday party in the park next Saturday."
"Awwww, how cute." (I swear, Conner, if you ever tell anyone I said that, I'll rip your tongue out.) "So how old is he? Or is it a she?"
"She's going to be four. So, what can you provide for the party?"
"Uh, I provide the song. What's her name?"
"Fido. Oh, no clowns, please, she peed on the one we hired last year. And she snapped at the magician's ankle the year before."
"Fido? Well, to each his own. I just hope you have enough for a psychotherapist. And as I said, I'm just a songwriter. What kind of song would you like?"
"Maybe something about that tree she likes to sniff or the walks we go on and how she likes to escape her leash."
"Leash? You put that poor kid on a leash?"
"How else am I going to keep her from chasing the squirrels and rolling in the mud? Hey, maybe you could do a Power Ranger's theme. I hear they're all the rage…especially those WildForce Rangers."
"WildForce is soooo two years ago. Now, I could really get into a DinoThunder song…hmmmm."
"Oh, yeah, dinosaur bones! That could be the theme. Little Fido and her friends could each have their own bone to chew on."
"What?! Are you too cheap to give them pizza? At least let them have some cake." (Connor, can you get me that youth services number?)
"Are you crazy? I don't need them having diarrhea everywhere. I'll get them some kibbles and bits. (Fido! Stop jumping all over me! I'll get you some water in a minute! No! Don't go drinking from that toilet again! Fido!)
"Was that your little girl? Maybe she could say 'hello' to me." (Hurry up, Connor, the kid's so thirsty she has to resort to toilet water!)
"She doesn't 'speak.' I won't allow her to degrade herself in such a manner. So, how many dinosaur bones can you provide? And what about that song?" (Pee on my foot again, and I swear I will whack your nose with this newspaper!)
"I can't get bones for you. You do that yourself." (Go on and call them for me, he's actually threatening abuse!) "A song, hmmmm….let's see."
"Oh Fido, it's your birthday. Too bad you're always on a leash and can never play. Oh Fido, you're gonna be four. Too bad your dad doesn't love you anymore. Oh Fido, you must be dying of thirst. Drinking from the toilet must be the worst. Oh Fido…"
"What the hell kind of song is that? I love Fido, and she loves me! And who says she never plays? I let her off the leash in the dog park to play with the other dogs. I just don't want her to get hit by a car!"
"Uh…wait, Fido's a dog?" (Conner, forget it…what? Oh well.) "Ummm…you may be getting a knock at your door any minute now."
"Well, of course she's a dog. What did you think I was talking about? I may just look elsewhere for help with her party. You really shouldn't…oh wait, that's the door." (Hello? Yes, officer, what do you…hey! What's with the cuffs! I know I'm behind on the alimony, but I'm still making repairs to the house after Taylor crashed her plane into it and took all her stuff back. Where are you taking me?)
"Sir, hello? Hello?" (I think I made a big mistake Con…Trent?! What are you doing home so early? It's not what it looks like! Well, it is but…Trent! Don't smash my guitar on his…head. My poor guitar!)
