Disclaimer: Just to keep it simple: A. I don't own Power Rangers. B. I just make fun of them; so don't get upset if I mock your favorite. C. Please review. I don't mind constructive criticism. D. Thanks to Writer's Guide to the Universe and Power Rangers Central for providing a lot of the information that I need.
If you haven't done so, please read the first hundred and fifty stories in "When Rangers Meet," "More of When Rangers Meet," and "Headquarters Where Rangers Meet."
This is story number twenty-six.
Clare and Taylor
By
Eileen (Psycho Tangerine)
Clare shifted uncomfortably as she reached the door. She could always go back. It wasn't too late yet. She shook her head. No! She'd show them all that she wasn't some useless airhead. Just because her latest spell hadn't gone quite right, everyone was mad at her. Okay, so being melded together into one giant Ranger blob wasn't exactly what Nick had meant when he suggested they needed to work closer as a team. But they still had a few free limbs, including Udonna's wand arm. So she could break the spell. Or it may wear off in a few days or weeks. All she knew was that she'd be long gone by then. Clare turned the doorknob.
Taylor snapped awake at the sound of the door opening. Finally! A new recruit! She hated this mind numbing position to which her superiors had assigned her. She should be out there flying planes. But no, just because she had gone AWOL in order to be a Ranger, she got stuck here. But she'd show them. Taylor grinned wickedly. She had snuck back onto the Animarium just the other day and convinced the Wild Zords to go screech outside their houses all night and dump Zord guano all over their pristine lawns.
"Excuse me?"
Taylor snapped out of her vengeance reverie. A woman, she realized gleefully. Another woman to show those chauvinist pigs just how tough we are. "Yes, may I help you?"
"Is this where I sign up for that air flying thing?" Clare asked nervously.
"Air Force," Taylor stopped herself from adding 'you twit.' The last thing she needed was to scare off yet another recruit. "Yes, it is and you are?"
"Clare... uh Clare Gatekeeperwithpowersfromthemoon."
Taylor stared at her. "Interesting name. Age?"
"I'm almost one thousand and eight." Clare mentally smacked herself as Taylor's eyes widened.
"What?!" yelled Taylor. "Is that supposed to be a joke?' She got into Clare's face. "Do you think the Air Force is funny? Are you here to laugh at me? Just because I'm stuck here and not in my beautiful plane?" Taylor began to pace and seethe at the same time. "Who sent you? Those cretins from the Navy? Or from the Army? Did that jackass, Eric send you from the Silver Guardians just to show me up? I should have shot him with his own weapon when I had the chance!"
Clare backed away from the snarling woman. The last time she had seen something like this was after she had accidentally caused all of Udonna's clothes to disappear while the Rangers were in Rootcore. Her aunt's fury had increased when all the guys, her husband included, ran out screaming in horror. "Sorry, sorry," Clare quickly apologized. "I mean I'm eighteen."
"Okay, then. Occupation?"
"Sorceress... well assistant sorceress." Clare saw Taylor's eyes widen again. "Uh, I mean..."
"Really?" asked Taylor with enthusiasm. "Could you put a curse on certain people for me? Like my loser ex-boyfriend, Eric, and that idiot Max, and oh... actually every guy I know is a jerk, idiot, or loser. Can you just put a curse on every one of them?"
Clare frowned. "A curse? But I'm a good sorceress. I don't do curses."
"Oh come on," begged Taylor, for once not caring that it was unbecoming to her, "just a little curse? Like you could give them green spots...or long elephant trunks instead of noses... or make any sports show they turn on get disrupted by soap operas... or chop off all their..."
"Don't go there!" cried Clare.
"...hair," finished Taylor lamely.
Clare smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry, but I have enough problems doing magic good as it is."
"But, didn't you just tell me you were good at magic? If you're lying to an Air Force officer..."
Clare sighed. "I said I did good magic, not that I was good at it. Anyway, it's wrong to want to hurt other people like that."
Taylor blinked. Now she knew how Max felt whenever he tried to think. Then she shook her head. This girl was sounding too much like Alyssa. But all she had to do back then was show the kindergarten teacher the love letter Cole had written to her...and the one he had written to Princess Shayla...and the one he had written to Kendall...and the one he had written to Toxica...and the one he had written to the poodle he had met in the park... The next day a certain Red Ranger ended up having to get stomach pumped from the 'special' dinner his girlfriend made for him.
"Really?" she asked Clare with her arms crossed. "Are you telling me that no guy you know deserves just a little kick in the ass?"
"Well..."
"None of them acted like an idiot? None of them broke dates or cheated on you? None of them completely embarrassed you?"
"Well, there was the time Xander actually let Vida out of the Vampire trap because he thought I was dumb enough to free her myself. And the time he almost turned into a tree because he used one of my potions without asking first!"
"Vampire...uh...ok I'm not sure what kind of crowd you hang around with, but that will change once you're in the Air Force."
But Clare wasn't paying attention. "And there's Jenji and Fire Heart. Daggeron's supposed to take care of them. But does he? No! He's always polishing that stupid Solar Streak Megazord of his! So I'm the one who has to pick up the cat fur and dragon poop all over Rootcore."
"Megazord?" whispered Taylor as she sat back down.
"And that idiot, Chip actually sold my tiara on e-bay just so he could get a Spiderman suit to wear. I just hope whoever bought it never figures out its magical properties." Unfortunately, even as she spoke, a certain pizza parlor worker was using the powers of the moon to hopefully impress a certain Wolf Ranger.
"Okay, I guess a little imagination is fine." Taylor mentally made a note to make sure this girl was given a full psychological exam before allowing her to join.
"And finally, my uncle and cousin keep leaving their underwear laying around the place...and they never put the toilet lid down...and they keep leaving wolf fur and motorcycle oil all over my stuff...and they keep calling themselves Mr. Light and Mr. Wolf while flashing lights in my face and howling." Clare moaned. "Why oh why did they have to be related to me? Life was much simpler when it was just Udonna and me."
"See?" asked Taylor. "Men are nothing but jerks. You should put a curse on them."
"I can't," whimpered Clare.
"You're going to have to drop the goody two-shoes attitude if you're to become one of my recruits," stated Taylor. "And stop playing pretend games about wolves, witches, and Megazords. That stuff has no place in the Air Force."
Clare glared at the other woman. "I didn't say I don't want to. I said I couldn't. I stink at magic! No matter what I do, things go wrong! I'm a horrible sorceress! Why do you think I'm trying to join the Air Force? If I could do my magic the way I should, I'd be able to fly around without a dumb plane!"
"What...did...you...say?" asked Taylor in a low growl.
"That I suck at magic?" asked Clare tentatively, as she instinctively backed away from Taylor whose face was turning bright red.
"Airplanes are not dumb!!" Taylor screamed. "They help people travel all over the world! They take you away from all the crazed loons around you! Everyone should have a plane in their garage!"
"Sorry," Clare apologized for the second time in fifteen minutes. "I didn't realize you actually enjoyed the Air Force. I heard you were here to hide from paying back rent on your room in the Animarium."
Taylor blanched. "What the, who told you?" She jumped over her desk and grabbed Clare by the collar. "Who did you pay off? Oh, I should've known one of those big mouth guys told you. Who was it? Who'd you sleep with to get all the info on me? Cole? Max? No wait, it had to be Danny. You just can't trust the silent ones."
Clare knocked Taylor's hand off her collar. "My aunt just so happens to be the mentor of the Power Rangers in Briarwood. Therefore, she has taken it upon herself to monitor all Ranger activity around the world...well California actually...hmmmm...why does everyone insist on only attacking there? Why not New York? Or Washington, D.C.? Or London? Or Paris? Or..."
"Oh, so now you dare to lie about being a Power Ranger?" She put a big red X through the application she had been filling out. "Application denied. I can't have someone as delusional as you flying a plane."
With that, Clare broke into tears.
"Never mind that," said Taylor sternly. "Crying will not change my mind."
"It's not that," sniffed Clare. "I never said I was a Power Ranger. I wanted to be one. But, oh no, I wasn't good enough. I just had that stupid tiara that I got to morph with just one time. Big whoop. I wanted to be a Pink Ranger. I begged Udonna. But who got it? Some leather wearing biker type chick who hates pink!"
"Ah," said Taylor as she made the red X even bigger. "How can I expect you to be able to fly a plane when you can't even have delusions appropriately?" She stood up and opened the door. "Now, if you don't mind, I have a lot of work to do." She shoved the other woman unceremoniously out the door.
"Hey! How rude!" exclaimed Clare indignantly. She raised her wand and waved it around. "But thanks for the idea!" Two minutes later all the guys in Briarwood were jumping and wiggling as invisible itching powder filled their underwear...and Taylor was screaming as she desperately felt her newly bald-head.
