Disclaimer: Just to keep it simple: A. I don't own Power Rangers. B. I just make fun of them; so don't get upset if I mock your favorite. C. Please review. I don't mind constructive criticism. D. Thanks to Writer's Guide to the Universe and Power Rangers Central for providing a lot of the information that I need.
If you haven't done so, please read the first hundred and fifty stories in "When Rangers Meet," "More of When Rangers Meet," and "Headquarters Where Rangers Meet."
This is story number thirty-one. It was requested by Jessica01.
Jason and Andros
By
Eileen (Psycho Tangerine)
Jason grumbled as he pushed his motorcycle down the road. He had been so sure he had filled it before joining the other Red Rangers for their mission. Of course, he hadn't noticed Tommy draining his gas tank while he and the others were bragging. The multicolored Ranger always had been sensitive to comments about him and Kim.
Jason gave a grunt as the front tire caught on a stone. With an extra burst of effort and a few colorful words, he got the motorcycle around it.
"That's a new one for my Earther curse notebook," commented a familiar voice. Andros stepped from around a building. He had on a backpack. "If I learn enough of these words, do you think I could blend into Earth society?"
"Andros?" gasped Jason, glad of the little break and perhaps the possibility of a little help. "What are you doing here? I thought you were on your way to Kaopectade on that ship of yours."
"That's KO35," snapped Andros. "And I'd be on it if a certain Red Aquitian Ranger hadn't convinced Alpha and Deca to boot me off so they could, as Alpha put it, 'get it on.'"
"Whoa, too bad we can't video tape that," exclaimed Jason. "I mean how are they going to be able to…uh…never mind," he finished sheepishly as Andros stared at him oddly.
"I see you are conserving Earth's resources by moving your machine manually." Andros clapped Jason on the back. "That is very commendable."
"Yeah," snorted Jason. "I decided to bring a motorcycle and push it rather than just walk here." He shoved Andros' arm off his shoulder. "It's out of gas, and I'm not interested." He postured and showed off his muscles.
"I was just giving a compliment," retorted Andros. "Get over yourself." He shifted his backpack and started to walk away.
"Wait a minute!" called Jason. "Sorry about that, but could you maybe give me a hand here?"
Andros paused and then began to clap. "I don't see how this is helping, though."
"Great, now I've got an Alien doing bad jokes," groaned Jason. "Can you please help me push my bike to a gas station?"
Andros laughed at this. "Don't tell me Mr. Strong can't push his bikey all by himself." He resumed walking away. Whoomp! He felt himself being pulled backwards by his backpack and tossed into a nearby bush.
"At least I'm not a loser who lets his ship get taken over by a fish alien, an R2D2 reject, and your secret girlfriend," countered Jason.
"Deca is not my girlfriend!" roared Andros as he got up and brushed twigs off his clothes.
"That's not what I heard from TJ."
Andros groaned. "I keep telling him that moaning was from the jello Zhane had spilled in Deca's control panel!" Deca! Andros thought plaintively. If only he had a genius on his team who could have downloaded her into a woman's body. But oh no, he had to have a team of dunderheads.
"If you say so," replied Jason unconvinced. He grabbed the handlebars of his motorcycle. "Now, help me with this thing."
Andros eyed the motorcycle with distaste. "I don't see why that is necessary when you have what you need to make gas right here."
"Really?" asked Jason incredulously.
"Sure, it's ...uhhh…an old Kerovian formula."
"And it'll work on my bike?" asked Jason. He narrowed his eyes. "You'd better be sure. This cost me a lot of money." Selling computer parts and equipment from the now-defunct Power Chamber had been extremely profitable.
"Not to worry," placated Andros. "This stuff will treat your engine so well you won't even hear it running."
Jason paused to think. He thought and thought.
Andros walked over to a nearby hose someone had left attached to the front of a building.
Jason continued to ponder.
Andros pulled a bottle of his special stripy hair shampoo and conditioner. He wet his hair and he lathered it up.
Jason continued to consider the offer.
Andros rinsed his long hair. He then pulled a large battery-powered hair dryer from his backpack.
Jason kept on contemplating.
Andros dried his hair. Then he put his special hair gel in and styled it.
"Ok, you can do it," Jason finally decided.
"Great!" Andros grabbed some grass and tossed it into the gas tank. He grabbed a handful of mud and tossed it into the tank. He poured a few drops of his special shampoo into the tank. He scraped bird doody off a nearby car window and dropped it into the tank. He grabbed a moldy half-eaten burrito from a nearby garbage can and squished it into the tank. "There you go," said Andros.
"Ha!" cried Jason as he shoved Andros aside and jumped on the motorcycle. "Thanks for the formula, Sucker. I'm going to sell it to the highest bidder. Then I'll have enough money to get my very own team of Rangers! I'll be the new Zordon. Take THAT Tommy!" He pressed the starter and jumped on the pedal to start it.
Nothing.
"What the?" Jason tried to start it again.
Nothing.
"Come on!" He growled as he attempted to start it a third time. "Hey!" he yelled at Andros. "You said it would run so well I wouldn't hear the engine!"
"Do you hear the engine, now?" asked Andros as he began to laugh.
Jason's face reddened. "Why you…" He headed menacingly for Andros… and found himself floating up into the air. "No fair using alien powers!" cried Jason. "Put me down!"
Andros kept one hand in the air to keep his telekinesis going as he pulled a cell phone out. "Hey, Tommy! The plan worked! Yeah! He really fell for it." He ducked as a shoe came flying at his head. "Now I see why Zhane enjoys playing all those pranks."
"Is that Tommy?" asked Jason. "Tell that jerk I had a lot of fun with Kim in Florida!"
"No, I didn't catch what he just said," said Andros. "Now, beam me up!" Nothing happened. "Tommy, I'm still here. Teleport me to the ship!"
Jason began to undo his other shoe.
"What?! I never said I thought my hair was prettier than yours and that it was a good thing you chopped off that ugly rat's nest."
Jason got the knot undone and took the shoe off.
"But I never," Andros was getting desperate. "Who told you I said that?"
Jason took very careful aim.
"Jason?!" exclaimed Andros. "Why that lying….OOOOMMMPPPHH!" gasped Andros as the well-aimed shoe smashed into his groin. He fell on the ground in pain and lost his telekinetic hold on Jason.
Jason landed unceremoniously on the ground. "I'll teach you to mess with my motorcycle!" he roared as he used the last of his morphing power. So what if he had planned to save it for any future team-ups. This was far more important.
Andros morphed as well. "Ha-ha, it was just a joke, Jason…uh...Buddy? Pal?" He ducked a swipe from the Red Morphin Ranger's sword.
"You owe me for my bike!" yelled Jason as he charged at Andros.
Andros reached into his pocket… and came up with nothing. He hadn't even noticed when Alpha had pick-pocketed his morpher. At that moment a very short metallic Red Ranger was making a ship computer very, very, happy.
"Tsk, Tsk, Tsk," boomed a very familiar voice.
"Zordon, you're here!" cried Andros in relief.
"Jason," said Zordon's floating ghost head. "I'm so ashamed of you."
Jason lowered his head. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have morphed. But he destroyed my motorcycle." He pointed at Andros.
"Who cares about that?" replied Zordon. "I mean you should be ashamed that you think you can become like me. Only the great Tommy will be able to do that."
"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" cried Jason as he flung himself to the ground.
"Thank you, Zordon," said Andros. "You saved my life."
"Well, that's all well and nice since you killed me," growled Zordon.
Andros paled. "But, but, but, you told me to do it!"
"And you never heard of a suicide prevention line?" He began to bounce towards Andros. "I'm going to haunt you for the rest of your life. I'm going to tell Karone who actually bribed Darkonda to get rid of a certain pain in the ass kid sister. I'm going to fly around the room when you and that Yellow Ranger of yours finally decide to make babies. I'm going to…"
Whooooooosssssssshhhhh! Zordon's ghost head popped like a balloon as Jason's sword went through it. "That's better," said Jason. "Now, about my bike…"
They spent the next two hours battling until they both got tired enough to get some pizza and plot against their real enemy. Two more hours later, a certain multi-colored Ranger found himself chained to a defunct motorcycle.
A/N: I just can't remember how Aurico got home after Forever Red. Please, no more requests for a while. I've got too long a list and just can't seem to get around to writing.
