Disclaimer: Just to keep it simple: A. I don't own Power Rangers. B. I just make fun of them; so don't get upset if I mock your favorite. C. Please review. I don't mind constructive criticism. D. Thanks to Writer's Guide to the Universe and Power Rangers Central for providing a lot of the information that I need.
If you haven't done so, please read the first hundred and fifty stories in "When Rangers Meet," "More of When Rangers Meet," and "Headquarters Where Rangers Meet."
This is story number thirty-eight.
Dax and Jack
By
Eileen (Psycho Tangerine)
Dax stretched luxuriously as he leaned back in the expensive leather recliner. He took a sip of the expensive cabernet by his side. The he flicked on the big screen television with surround sound. "This is the life," he sighed as he started to watch yet another DVD of himself doing stunts.
"Awesome!" he suddenly cried at a particular stunt. The suddenly overexcited Dax began jumping on the recliner and back flipping off it. Crash! He landed near a table and knocked off an expensive Tiffany lamp.
Dax quickly scurried back to his chair. "Must keep cool, must keep cool, must keep cool," he recited to himself over and over. He left the mess there for Spencer to clean up when he got back from the butler convention. The butler had been an added bonus when Dax won the mansion through a lawsuit. The overly sympathetic jury, not knowing he had always acted the way he did, thought that being a Power Ranger had caused him permanent brain damage. What Dax didn't know was that Spencer was actually visiting Mr. Hartford to discuss how to get the mansion back from that 'annoying little twerp with delusions of grandeur.'
Dax had finally gotten himself calmed when a strange man suddenly popped through the wall.
"Let's see now," said Jack as if Dax weren't there. "The records say the money is under the mattress in the main bedroom and the good silverware is in the main dining room."
"Excuse me?" asked Dax who had been alarmed by the intruder.
"Now, where did Uncle Will say that special safe was?" Jack asked himself as he began picking up expensive knick knacks and putting them in a sack. "Oh, yeah, the study."
"Ahem!" Dax cleared his throat loudly. "I'm right here listening to you plan to steal my stuff!"
But Jack kept ignoring him. After all, his uncle had told him his former blue teammate had been nothing more than an ineffectual dolt. That was the main reason he had picked this particular point of time to travel back to. He continued collecting things as he headed to the study.
"Hey!" called Dax loudly. "You'd better stop or I'll use my awesome skills to stop you."
Jack just rolled his eyes as he opened the study door.
"That does it!" Dax jumped up. "Witness my awesome stunt man skills!" He began jumping around again. "Heyah! Yah! Heyah! Oh yeah! Witness my awesomeness!"
Jack stared as the other man continued bouncing around randomly. Then he headed into the study. He looked for the picture Uncle Will had said the safe was behind. A few seconds later he located the large portrait of a man proudly holding a diode in diapers. He shook his head as he remembered Uncle Will telling him about the other dolt on his team. He reached for the dial.
CRASH! Startled, Jack ran back to the other room.
"Oh man!" came Dax's muffled voice from the ceiling where his head and shoulders had crashed through. "I'm stuck. Can you give me a hand? Please?" He had forgotten that a mansion was not the place to be doing his high bounces.
Jack simply stood there and clapped his hands. "Next time you want to try to phase through things, don't. Leave that to the experts." He headed back to the study and continued to fiddle with the safe's dial.
"Forget it" cried Dax. "No one could get that open. Not even our Black Ra…uh Black Rabbit. And he was an expert!"
"Black…Rabbit?"
"Oooomph!" cried Dax as he felt himself being pulled out of the ceiling. "Thanks, Dude!"
"Never mind that!" exclaimed Jack. "Are you saying your Black Ranger couldn't open up that safe?"
"You know we're Rangers?" asked Dax. "Awesome! Do you want an autograph or maybe a picture? I could call Jessica Jeffries for an interview. Oh wait, no, she's helping Mr. Hartford with that counter suit against me.
"That jerk!" snapped Jack as he began pacing back and forth. "He told me he was giving me the info on this place as a special favor to his 'favorite nephew.' He never told me he couldn't do the job himself. What a loser." Jack had quit being a ranger on the pretext of helping some girl start a food and clothing bank after being convinced by the older ex-Ranger that he was the greatest thief ever and had wanted to pass his know-how on to him.
"Yep!" agreed Dax over enthusiastically. "Will was a loser. He was never as cool or awesome as me!" He began to jump around spasmodically again.
Jack ignored Dax and went back to the safe. For the next two hours he twisted the dial while Dax kept bouncing around. Suddenly, he smacked his own forehead. "What the hell am I doing?" he groaned.
"You finally decided to stop being a thief after seeing my stupendousness?" asked an out of breath Dax who had finally sat down.
"Hardly," mumbled Jack as he concentrated and made his hand phase into the safe. "Hmmm, feels like a piece of paper." Jack gasped. "It must be his Swiss bank account number. Or maybe the deed to this mansion. Oh you are so gone, Bouncy-boy."
Dax shrugged his shoulders and went back to watching himself on TV. Anyone who couldn't see his wonderfulness just wasn't worth bothering with.
Jack eagerly yanked the paper out of the safe. "It's a letter, with a picture. Of some woman… what the hell?"
Dax glanced over at the picture. "Mira? He asked as he saw the image of the villainess. "No!" he sobbed as memories of the only woman who had ever agreed to date him came back to him. "Why did I break up with her? Why didn't I just join her? She was the only one for me! What'd Calindor have that I don't?"
"'Dearest Will,'" Jack read off the back of the photo. "'It was wonderful having you around last June. I never knew a Ranger could be so suave and so sophisticated. By the way, I am naming him Jack' WHAT???"
Dax had stopped sobbing long enough to listen. "You mean Will actually…THAT A**HOLE!" he screamed in unfamiliar anger. "He said he got even with her for me. And he…"
Jack paid no attention to Dax. Instead he headed for the door.
"Oh, I guess my awesomeness did make you give up your life of crime after all," commented Dax who had quickly calmed.
"Hardly," scoffed Jack. "But I'm going to find 'Mommy Mira' and get her to soak 'Daddy Will' for as much back child support as possible. With that, Jack left the mansion.
"Wait for me!" called Dax, who had completely forgotten that Miratrix had been destroyed and that the photo had actually been a gag of his ('Jack' was just a random name he had chosen.) "I'll go with you! Maybe I can catch her on the rebound!"
AN: Eccch that last paragraph is so awkward. I only added in about the photo being an old gag because Miratrix had been destroyed.
