Surprisingly enough, this chapter is taking a lighter tone. Wooo!

FYI, there's a little insider in this chapter. Did you know, if you color a lot, you can get hand cancer? Lol. Some people (cough cough Lauren) are so gullible…

I won't bother with disclaimers, you guys know the drill. Enjoy.


Looking back at me I see that I never really got it right
I never stopped to think of you
I'm always wrapped up in things I cannot win
You are the antidote that gets me by
Something strong like a drug that gets me high
What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
-
Crossfade, "Cold"


"Stop it," Bruixe muttered.

Her hands were shaking so badly that she could barely grip Fallen Angel – and it didn't help that she had to hold it in her left hand. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get the fingers of her right to close. She wondered if she'd ever be able to use it again, if it would really heal.

Bruixe threw her Keyblade across the Room of Awakening and buried her head in her arms. "Stop it," she told herself firmly. "You've been through worse than this. Get a grip."

Had she, though? Three years ago, she had been convinced that Velkin's torture would be the worst pain she'd ever feel in her life. Now, though, she would take it a thousand times over, if it would just get these images out of her head. Sora. Kairi. Ren.

Riku.

"Stop it," she moaned again. "Focus. Chasers."

It's no use.

She wished she could see Riku, talk to him, reassure herself that he was fine. Anything – even the slightest snatch of conversation – anything would be better than this loneliness. Alone in her prison of strange walls and lost souls.

A thought occurred to her.

I can't talk to Riku… but I might be able to talk to someone else. But… who?

After a moment of thought, she flattened her hands against the smooth panels of the chair and whispered, "Demyx?"

The room hummed to life, and for a moment she doubted herself. He's a Nobody, Bruixe. He might not even be there…

But when she looked up to the soul the room had delivered, it was that same familiar light brown hair, those same cheerful green eyes. His skin was grey and translucent, but it didn't matter, because Demyx was standing there in front of her.

He blinked in surprise. "Well, what do you know?"

Bruixe started to stand up but her legs wouldn't hold, and she tumbled to the floor. "Demyx, Demyx is here," she whispered, feeling a smile on her face for the first time in what seemed like an eternity.

"Easy!" he said, reaching down to help her up, but she knocked his arm away, and he sat on the floor instead. "Hey! I'm see-through!"

"It means you have hand cancer," Bruixe said.

"Aaaah!" Demyx yelled, shaking the hand in question as if trying to get something off of it.

Bruixe laughed out loud, surprised that she still could. "Demyx," she said happily.

He grinned back, looking comfortable in a baggy pair of jeans and a black T-Shirt with the word 'SKILLET' printed across it in olive-green letters, which weirded Bruixe out a little – she'd never seen him in anything besides his black Organization cloak.

"So, does this mean you're dead?" Demyx asked. "I mean, since we're talking and all. But you don't look dead. I guess."

"I'm not dead," she promised. "You're just… in the world of the living. For a while."

Demyx had the old clueless look on his face, and Bruixe launched into an entire recount of everything that had happened since she left the Organization – how Xaldin and Saix had ambushed her in the Castle That Never Was, how she'd only escaped death because of Sora and Riku's attack on the Organization, how she'd gone to Destiny Islands looking for Roxas and found three people that would become her best friends. She told him how she regained her heart – his smile looked like it was going to rip his face in two – and then, finally, what she was doing in the Eternal Kingdom, and why.

"That's terrible," he said finally, and Bruixe nodded quietly. He pointed at her arm. "Did Isalena do that to you, then?"

"Yeah," Bruixe nodded, and for a minute she remembered another bandaged arm, not her own, in a hidden cave so long ago, and the story that went along with it. She looked up, seeking Demyx's green eyes, and felt the words that had been held back for over a year spill out.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. Then, stronger, "I'm so sorry."

Demyx frowned in genuine confusion. "For what?"

A few tears leaked out from under her lids, and she brushed them away impatiently. "I… I came back for you – but you were gone. I was too late – I should have brought you with me, to start with – and then, you… you died because of me… it should have been me…"

Demyx just smiled, and reached out to ruffle her hair. A year ago, she would have punched him for it, but for now she didn't mind, because her best friend was here, with her, even if only for a little while.

"I missed you," Bruixe admitted.

"I missed you, too," Demyx said. "You know… I fought Sora. And I lost. Pretty badly."

Bruixe nodded. "He told me," she answered. "I… well, I'm not surprised. He's really strong."

"Stronger than Roxas," Demyx agreed. "But you know what I told him?"

Bruixe shook her head.

"Well, first he called me a kook," Demyx said, clearly offended. Bruixe laughed in spite of herself. "Then he was like, 'You don't have hearts! You're not sad about anything!' and the duck was all like, 'Yeah! You can't fool us!' And you know what I said? I said, 'We do too have hearts.'"

Bruixe frowned. "Demyx… you're not making any sense."

Demyx grinned. "Maybe not to you. No, listen – I meant it. Really. Because we were always looking for our hearts – except for you. I know you tried to keep it a secret, that you didn't want your heart back. But we knew. But the thing is – I kept thinking, all the time, that if any of us found our hearts, it would be you. Well, Roxas, too, I guess. Because you were so… different, from the rest of us."

She didn't know how to reply to that, and he continued, "Anyway, I guess… I guess I figured that I could at least give you a shot, right? I don't regret it – dying for you. Well, dying instead of you. Because you really did find your heart. I knew you would."

Bruixe smiled incredulously. "You always believed in me, didn't you, Waterboy?"

"Always," Demyx said proudly. "No regrets."

She patted his hand, oddly cool to the touch.

"What's with the blindfold?" Demyx wanted to know.

Bruixe shrugged. "It's just… well…" She took it off, reluctantly letting him see her mutated eyes.

"Creepy," he muttered, and she grimaced. "But you know, I think they were creepier silver."

"Gee, thanks," she said sarcastically.

"You're really afraid of water?" Demyx asked.

Bruixe ducked her head sheepishly. "Not water. Just drowning."

"Dang," he sighed. "I had power over you and I never knew it…"

"I would have killed you," she growled.

He grinned. "I know. So… are you gonna ask me or not?"

"Ask what?"

He raised an eyebrow knowingly, and she ducked her head. "Alright… well, is he there too?"

Demyx grinned broadly. "Of course! And he probably wants to see you, so hurry up and send me back."

Bruixe's face fell a little, but Demyx just smiled that same unfailing smile. "Hey, no worries," he said. "You'll get out of this, and then you can come visit me again. Right?"

"Right," she answered, as if saying it could make the words come true. "It's a promise."

"And promises are forever," Demyx said, nodding.

He stood up and pulled her to her feet, careful of her hurt arm. "Hey, you got taller," he complained, and with a pleased grin Bruixe realized it was true – she had him by barely a half-inch, but she was still taller.

"Well, you missed a lot," she told him.

He grinned. "See you around, Bruixe." Then he was gone, vanishing back into his own realm as if he had never been there, and only the strange coolness of her skin where she had patted his hand remained as proof, proof that she wasn't crazy, proof that she wasn't alone.

She sat back down in the chair, eager now that she knew it would work, and said, "Axel!"

And of course he came, red hair sticking up more than ever, a fiery mane around his head. Like Demyx, he looked more comfortable than he ever had, in jeans, a red undershirt, and a black zip-up jacket. "Bruixe!" he greeted her. "Long time no see!"

"Tell me about it," she said, crushing him into a hug, which he returned – and if he held her a little too tightly, well, she ignored that.

"What happened to your arm?" he demanded. "Did someone hurt you? I'll kill them!"

Bruixe sighed and launched into the whole story again, and when she was finished Axel shook his head.

"You always did bite off more than you could chew," he said in exasperation.

"You would know," she retorted. "Most of the time it was your fault."

"Got me there," Axel admitted.

She punched him lightly. "Yeah, and I go through all that trouble to bust you out of that castle – and from what I hear you went back?"

He scratched his head sheepishly, grinning. "Yeah, well, I wanted to see Roxas again. You can't blame me for that. But hey, they never caught me again. The only one who takes me out is me."

"Congratulations," she said sarcastically.

His green eyes grew sober. "You know, I thought you were dead," he said quietly. "You told me to stay put, and I – well, you remember that…"

Bruixe did, but didn't say anything.

"And then – I was right," Axel continued. "You never came back. I never saw you again… well, while I was alive, anyway – listen to me. Jeez. 'When I was alive.'"

"Definitely weird," Bruixe agreed.

"I wondered if they'd caught you and forced you to go to Hollow Bastion anyway," Axel went on. "I followed Saix there – but it wasn't you, it was Demyx. Which meant you hadn't gotten to him… I didn't see how you could have survived."

His voice grew quiet. "It was worse than losing Roxas, because I knew Roxas was still alive – even if he wasn't really Roxas anymore. But you… I kept thinking, You're a Nobody, Axel, get a grip. You can't feel sad. But somehow, I felt, I don't know, more empty than usual. I always said being around you and Roxas and Demyx made me… made me feel like I had a heart."

Axel grinned wryly. "I tried to warn Sora not to buy into their crap, not to kill anymore Heartless. But you know Roxas, he'd never listen, and Sora's just the same. Anyway, Saix showed up, but I managed to get away. I never figured he'd make it to the World That Never Was."

"Sora's strong," Bruixe told him. "Stronger than Roxas. Stronger than anyone."

"I thought…" Axel looked a little ashamed now. "I thought if I could turn Sora into a Heartless… Roxas would come back, you know? I took Kairi as bait, but Saix was still after me, and he… well, I lost. Pretty bad. He took her to the castle. Anyway, I was hurt. Bad. And running from Saix wasn't helping. By the time I caught up to Sora – well, the kid was way outnumbered, and he was going nowhere fast. And I guess I figured – I wasn't going to get to see Roxas again, and I'd kidnapped Kairi for no reason. I wanted to make it up to him. There were a lot – Saix sent the Assassins, too, almost as if he was trying to piss me off. And I went and overdid it – but really, Bruixe, you should have seen it. I was amazing."

"Amazingly stupid," she said quietly, but she didn't mean it, and Axel knew it. "Sorry… sorry I didn't come back."

"Don't worry about it. Really." He changed the subject awkwardly. "So, this Riku guy… he's like, your boyfriend?"

"Hey, you're dead," Bruixe replied. "You're not allowed to be jealous."

"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled.

Thinking about Riku made her anxious again, and she brushed her hair away from her face, an old habit. Axel noticed.

"You're really worried about him, huh?" he observed.

Bruixe hesitated, then admitted, "Enough people have died because of me. You, Demyx… Danthus… Terra… I can't – no, I won't lose Riku. I've lost too much already."

"You scared?" Axel asked quietly.

She couldn't answer that, because she was, but she would never, ever admit it.

"Hey, it's okay," he told her.

Bruixe shook her head. "I've always known what to do," she whispered. "I've always known what's right. And you know – you know I won't back down. But… I'm lost. I don't know what to do anymore. Because I can't lose him. But I… what I'm doing is wrong. I know that."

Axel placed a hand on her shoulder, grey against cream. "You have to protect him," he said. "No matter what."

She nodded, but her heart wasn't in it.

"That's what friends do," Axel insisted. "You've always taken pride in your friends. You'd lay your life down in an instant for them. That's why we called you the Avenger, remember? And if you really, um," he hesitated, "if you really – like this guy…"

Bruixe couldn't help but laugh a little at his careful avoidance of the 'L' word.

He cleared his throat. "Anyway, he's important to you. You've got to put him above everything else. If you can do that, things will all fall into place, right?"

She looked at him for a long time, then said, "Right."

"So what's it like?" Axel asked. "Having a heart, I mean. Was it worth it?"

Bruixe thought about the fear, the pain, the grief that plagued her dreams, then remembered the laughter, too – and the happiness, and above all else, love.

"Yeah," she said finally. "Yeah, it was."

Axel grinned, the same cocky smirk he'd always worn. "That's what I thought," he said, satisfied. "You always were a terrible actress, Miss Violent."

True to her name, she punched him, and their laughter echoed around the small room, and for a while she forgot the fear, and the pain.


review please.