Disclaimer: Just to keep it simple: A. I don't own Power Rangers. B. I just make fun of them; so don't get upset if I mock your favorite. C. Please review. I don't mind constructive criticism. D. Thanks to Writers Guide to the Universe and Power Rangers Central for providing a lot of the information that I need.

If you haven't done so, please read the first hundred and fifty stories in "When Rangers Meet," "More of When Rangers Meet," and "Headquarters Where Rangers Meet."

This is story number forty-five. It was requested by SierraTangoCharlie.

Xander and Joel

By

Eileen (Psycho Tangerine)

"This sucks!" complained Xander as he headed into the woods behind Rootcore. Everyone else had gotten cool nature powers. Nick had fire and Chip had lightning. They could burn stuff down. Vida could create a tornado with her wind power and Madison could create a tidal wave with her water power. But what did he get stuck with? Some lame tree power. What was he supposed to do with that? Bury Koragg under a pile of leaves?

Udonna had calmly suggested they all go outside and practice controlling their individual powers…well, not so calmly since Chip had hit her twice in the butt with his lightning. Xander had never heard such horrendous screeching in all his life. He didn't even know Chip could screech like that. But he was certain Udonna would use her magic to help Chip grow back his red hair after she had calmed a bit.

So, here he was. The others were somewhere, but he wasn't exactly sure where. He hadn't realized they had snuck back into town to try to convince Toby to make him do some actual work for once. Not that they'd succeed. Xander had been bribing the store owner with a rare collection of albums he had found in the attic of his cousin Kat's house in Angel Grove. Toby really seemed to love the "Angel Grove High Anthem" and the single "I'm a Sexier Pink Ranger than that Backflipping Loser."

"So, what am I supposed to do?" Xander grumbled. "Make them grow faster? Sprout fruit? Or talk?" He waved his wand around experimentally.

"Hey! Hey, you down there!" came a voice somewhere above him.

"Oh, my Lord!" cried Xander as he dropped his wand in shock. "I did it! I made a tree talk! I am a genius!" He began to dance around until he accidentally stepped in this want and snapped it in half. "Oh, great, now the Menopause Queen is going to bitch at me!"

"Hello? Can you help me, please?" came the voice in a more pleading tone. "I'm much too good looking to be stuck up here!"

"Oh, Great Talking Tree," Xander began as he bowed to the ground. "Please impart on me some of your wisdom like that old tree in Pocahontas. Oh, not that you're old. I'm certain that you are young and beautiful and…."

"Shut up!" cried Joel in frustration. "I'm not a tree, you loon! I'm stuck in a tree!" He swatted at a persistent bird that was trying to build a nest on his head.

"What?" asked Xander as he looked up. "Oh, great talking Tree! There is a man up in your branches!"

"Just get me down already!" cried Joel who was dangling from his parachute. Why didn't he wait for an open area before jumping? Then again, he had been desperate; very desperate. He had chartered the airplane for his and Angela's 'second honeymoon.' She was so thrilled to be going to Bora Bora that she never questioned why he had hired a pilot rather than fly the plane himself. As soon as she fell asleep, Joel had grabbed a parachute and jumped. Sure, he was now stuck in a tree listening to a blithering idiot. But at least he was free from his harpy of a wife. Ever since their first month of marriage, he deeply regretted ever chasing after Lightspeed's technical director.

"Ok! Ok!" replied Xander loudly. He picked up one-half of the broken wand and swung it at the tree.

"Wrong way! Wrong way!" shouted Joel as the tree shot up even taller, taking him with it.

"Oops!" stated Xander. "Maybe the other half of this thing will do the trick." He picked up the second half of the wand and swung it at the tree.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" cried Joel as his branch disappeared and he fell, landing on a lower branch so that he was straddling it. "Ooooohhhh," he moaned painfully. "I'd complain about my manhood, but my wife already destroyed it."

"Sorry about that, Mate," apologized Xander as Joel shimmied the rest of the way down himself. "I'm still new to this magic stuff."

"That's okay," said Joel. "I understand. It took me a while to get used to my Green Ranger Powers, myself." He could never resist slipping that little tidbit of information in whenever he met someone new. "But, thanks for trying, anyway."

Xander stood there gaping at him. "You…you're a Green Ranger, too? Small world, Mate!"

Joel narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean too?" he asked suspiciously. "Just who are you, anyway?"

"Hi, name's Xander," Xander walked up with his hand extended. "The handsomest and most charming Green Ranger there ever….Yeeeeeoooooow!" he cried as blaster fire hit his feet.

"That distinction belongs to me and no one else!" claimed a now morphed Joel as he posed. "No other Green Ranger dares to claim to be better looking than I…not even that long-haired weirdo with a flute and dragon fetish."

Xander scowled at Joel. Then he morphed as well. "Oh, yeah? Well, two can play at that game!" He began to pose as well.

They kept on posing for the next two hours. "Hey, Mate," said Xander, who had already forgotten why they were posing. "Why are we wasting ourselves here? There are plenty of lovely ladies out there who would love a piece of this."

"I hear you on that," replied Joel. "Let's go into town." He slapped Xander on the back.

"All right!" shouted Xander excitedly as he ran out of the woods with a sign saying "Smelly dork with tree fetish" on his back.

"Loser," said Joel with a shake of his head. "Now, I think Las Vegas is in that direc….EEEEEEPPP!"

"Hello, Darling," sneered Angela as she grabbed her errant husband by the ear and began to drag him away. "Did you forget that there was another parachute on that airplane?"

"Owwwwwwwwww….sorry, Dear………..owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!"