Disclaimer: Just to keep it simple: A. I don't own Power Rangers. B. I just make fun of them; so don't get upset if I mock your favorite. C. Please review. I don't mind constructive criticism. D. Thanks to Writers Guide to the Universe and Power Rangers Central for providing a lot of the information that I need.

If you haven't done so, please read the first hundred and fifty stories in "When Rangers Meet," "More of When Rangers Meet," and "Headquarters Where Rangers Meet."

This is story number forty-seven. It was requested by CoolDiva.

Conner and Billy

By

Eileen (Psycho Tangerine)

"Dr. O! Dr. O!" called Conner as he ran down the stairs to the Rangers' secret lair. "I got your message! It's super that you finally think me worthy enough to join the Red Ranger society!" He ran up to the man sitting at the main computer and gave him a big hug.

"Get off me, you big imbecile!" growled Billy. "I'm not that loser. Dr. O my ass. That multicolored moron couldn't tell water and sulphuric acid apart back in high school." He still cringed at the memory of a livid Principal Kaplan giving Tommy a year of detention after burning his mouth on the so-called water Tommy had offered him for his hiccups.

"Hey!" said Conner. "You're not Dr. O!"

Billy rolled his eyes. "What gave you a hint? My lack of a girly ponytail? Or my lack of drooling towards my Pink teammates?" Yellow is so much better…oh Trini…Trini….he thought to himself as he drooled.

Conner looked at Billy quizzically. "Dr. O had a pony tail? Wait till I tell the others! Do you have a picture? I need something to blackmail him into letting me pass his science class."

Billy reached into his wallet and pulled out a picture of Tommy…in the braids and pink ribbon he had gotten after getting drunk because Kat had run off with his brother. "Sure, anything to bring the great Tommy Oliver down."

"Whoa, Strange Person, what do you have against Dr. O?"

"Besides the fact that he got to lead the team and hog all the glory and even got to come back for more glory and attention?" asked Billy sarcastically. "Nothing, nothing at all." Oh Kim…Kim…why did he steal you from me? thought Billy as he began drooling again.

"Well, I don't know who you are and I don't care. I'm waiting for Dr. O. He's gonna make me a member of the Red Ranger Society. He sent me a note!" exclaimed Conner excitedly.

Billy stared at Conner. "I sent you that note to get you here. I also sent your teammates a note from you saying you were running away to a Mexican soccer camp in order to keep them away."

"They're out looking for me to beg me to come back?" asked Conner. "What a great bunch of…"

"More likely to hit the Cyber Café to celebrate," mumbled Billy.

Conner looked at him in confusion. "Well of course they'd want to celebrate my success in soccer. But why couldn't they wait until after I got into the Red Ranger society?"

Billy smacked his head against the nearest computer. "I just told you I wrote that letter. No one is inviting you to that group."

"But, but, but, I'm the Red Ranger!" whined Conner.

Billy smirked at Conner whose face was turning red. "Yeah, well, I overheard Tommy telling Jason about this 'no idiot' policy. That's probably the reason why Rocky couldn't get in either." He just couldn't resist telling Conner this. Rocky had actually turned down the 'opportunity' to go to the moon and risk his life with the other Reds when he realized there would be plenty of Ranger women to comfort back home. The black eyes and broken ribs he sported on their return from the mission showed exactly what their girlfriends thought of that idea.

"But, why?" asked a thoroughly confused Conner. "Why send me a letter?" Another thought suddenly entered his mind. "Wait just a second. Who are you?" he quickly morphed and held his Thundermax Saber out threateningly. "How did you even know about Dr. O's secret lair?"

"Pffffffttt" scoffed Billy. "Tommy had pictures of this place pasted all over his ' website.'"

"Oh," said Conner as he powered down. "That makes sense…I think."

Billy leaned back in the chair and put his hands behind his head. "Of course I had to go check it out, to see how things are run here. And do you know what I learned?" he asked the younger man.

"What?" asked Conner a bit impatiently. Where was Dr. O with that Red Ranger society invitation anyway?

Billy jumped up and began pacing back and forth. "The fact that he has a PHD already! This advanced technology! He…he…he's a greater genius than I!" wailed Billy as he threw himself to the ground in an undignified tantrum.

"Well, actually…" began Conner.

"It's an injustice! That's what it is!"cried Billy. "I worked tediously to erase all the damage done by those loser Rangers who thought they could out-genius me!" He was proud of the articles he had submitted to the Scientific journals about how female Pinks can't be intelligent if they get destroyed and how little blue brats should have every test score scrutinized for cheating.

"Yeah, well, just so you know, Hayley's the one who invents all our Zords and weapons." Conner looked around cautiously as if someone could be listening. "And I know something else," he whispered to Billy.

"What?" asked Billy who had started to calm at the mention of someone else inventing the Dino Thunders' Zords.

Conner pulled out another photo. "I found this under Dr. O's couch." He handed it to Billy. "It looks as if Hayley also helped Dr. O get his PHD as well." The picture showed Hayley wearing her hair under a baseball cap and a t-shirt saying 'I am Tommy Oliver' on it taking one of Tommy's final exams.

"Well, that explains everything," sighed Billy in relief. Then he gasped. "Is this Hayley a Ranger?"

"No," replied Conner. "Dr. O offered her the Pink Dino Gem but she smashed it saying she refused to be another member of his Pink harem.

"Great, I'm still the top Ranger genius!" shouted Billy as he began to dance around.

"Well, that's great!" stated Conner with a grin. "Now if you'll excuse me, Dr. O should be here any second to give me that Red Ranger Society invitation he promised."

"But I just told you….never mind, the note has served its purpose." Billy had simply wanted to see if it was possible for any Red Ranger to be dumber than the ones he had worked with; and it obviously was.

"Oh, wait," said Conner as he looked at his watch. "I'd better get packed! I don't want to miss that plane to the Mexican Soccer camp!" He rushed out of the lair before Billy could say anything. Three hours later Conner was being detained at the airport for annoying the security guards by kicking his soccer ball everywhere and babbling nonsense.

"Well, well, well," said Billy to himself as he saw the photograph that had fallen out of Conner's pocket. "This must be another thing to blackmail Tommy with." He picked it up and looked at it. He then quickly tore up the photo of Trini wearing her hair under a baseball cap and a T-shirt saying 'I am Billy Cranston' and taking a Final Exam.