For the record, YES, I KNOW. Nothing important happens in this chapter. But if you'll remember, 20 chapters ago (yes, it's been awhile) I introduced this whole thing with Bruixe and these dreams about her dead friends, and she wouldn't tell Riku, and he was worried. But then I never resolved it.

To my credit, I did intend to put actual plot movement in this chapter, but it just got too long. Besides, I LIKE fluff. Get over it. Enjoy.


You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again
You calm the storms
And you give me rest
You hold me in your hands
You won't let me fall
Could you tell me
How could it be any better than this?
-Lifehouse, "Everything"


It took Bruixe hours to fall asleep that night, hours of staring at the white, white ceiling and counting Nobodies, measuring her breathing in an effort to quiet her thoughts. And then, when she finally did fall asleep, it was a restless sleep, plauged with dreams of times past.

She was sixteen, and had been sure she was going to spend the rest of her short life chained in Velkin's prison.

Chains around her wrists, around her ankles, around her neck. So cold in this godforsaken dungeon… how long had she been in here? Days? Months? Years? It felt like eternity… there was no end to the cold, the unbearable quiet, the relentless pain…

Garrison's voice floated to her in the caverns of her mind.

"I can't help you any more."

The scene changed, to the white rooms of the Castle That Never Was.

The full implication of what they were doing struck Bruixe then. "What if they know you helped me?" she whispered.

Demyx shrugged. "Doesn't matter," he said. "They won't kill me, I'm not worth it to them."

"Nobodies don't have feelings," Bruixe mused. "Why are you doing this? You don't have to get yourself in trouble… but you care. Why?"

He gave her a wistful look. "Because," he said. "I don't want my best friend to get hurt. Even if it means I'll never see her again."

For the first time Bruixe could remember, she was absolutely speechless.

"'Bye, Bruixe," Demyx said, and then he was gone.

Then to her childhood, when Terra had been her only friend, her caretaker.

"Peace, Changeling," Terra said softly. "You'll find your place, too. A great peril is coming, one that only your generation can stand against. Don't think you have no place among them, Changeling. I have seen your heart, and I speak the truth when I say that yours is among the strongest of them all. The people may not accept you," he said, "but it will only make you stronger, and you will be the only one that can save them."

Another scene change, to her hidden cave in the McClain Mountains.

"You're not leaving me behind."

Bruixe held her friend's gaze without flinching. "Yes I am. You're hurt. Don't argue with me, you won't win."

Axel kicked the wall angrily. "And what if you don't come back?" he demanded. "What if something happens? I won't just sit here and watch you walk away. It's just that… I get this feeling that if you walk out of here… I'll never see you again."

The people Bruixe cared about had always tended to wind up dead.


Riku sprawled in the armchair in one corner of his room, figuring it was pretty pointless to lay in bed, seeing as which he wasn't going to be able to sleep anyway. His conversation with Garrison kept playing through his head. He'd approached the Councilor after the rest of the group had dispersed.

"You're worried about her, aren't you?" he'd asked.

The older man fixed him with a sharp look. "You must be, as well."

Riku shrugged. "Yeah. But the look on your face while she was talking… you don't like her plan."

"It's brilliant," Garrison said.

"But…?" Riku pressed.

The Councilor's brow furrowed. "It will be very dangerous. And… if I know Bruixe, she hasn't told us everything."

"What do you mean?"

"You know her just as well as I do," Garrison said. "Better, even. You know she doesn't like to involve others. And she claims that she will fight alongside you and Sora… but I fear she will try to engage Lady Isalena on her own."

Riku snorted. "Yeah, Bruixe is a martyr. But she's not stupid. She knows she's no match for Isalena alone. I mean, she and I and Terra fought that witch, and – well, you know how that turned out. Without the rest of us, Bruixe can't win. She knows that. She has to."

Garrison frowned. "I hope you are right."

Now, thinking back on the conversation, Riku wondered if the Councilor hadn't been right.

If Bruixe left now, it could be hours before everyone realized she was gone.

He slipped out the door and stole down the hall as quickly as he could without making too much noise, stopping at Bruixe's door. It opened without squeaking, a small miracle, and he slipped inside, listening.

Bruixe's breathing was accelerated and uneven, but at least she was in her bed where she belonged. He moved closer. Even in the dark, he could tell that her eyelids were fluttering, and her hands were clenched. She was having a nightmare.

"Nn… no," she muttered, still asleep. "Terra… Axel… Axel, no…"

Riku didn't know what made him do it, but it would have been wrong not to. He lay down on the bed next to Bruixe, draping one arm around her waist, sliding the other underneath her head as a pillow. "Sshhh," he whispered, kissing the back of her head.

Gradually her shuddering slowed, her breathing evened, as whatever nightmare she'd been having faded. He drew her closer against his chest, burying his face in her hair.

Holding Bruixe had always made him feel less dark.


Bruixe woke to the unmistakable realization that someone was in her room.

Her first instinct was to jerk upright and grab a weapon, but something was pinning her down. After a moment she realized what it was, and calmed down, if only a little.

"Riku?" she hissed.

"Good morning to you, too," he murmured.

"What are you doing in my room?" she asked, disoriented.

Riku poked her in the ribs. "Making sure you don't run off to fight on your own."

"Hey, I may be a martyr, but I'm not stupid," she retorted. Riku laughed. "Funny?"

"Nothing," he said.

"That doesn't explain why you're in my bed," Bruixe pointed out.

"Do I need a reason?" he wondered.

She rolled over and glared at him. "Yes."

He pretended to flinch, then raised an eyebrow. "You were having a nightmare."

Oh. That.

The details of her dream came back to her, and she bit her lip.

"You talk in your sleep," he went on. "You said Terra's name. And Axel's. Now, what's a guy supposed to think, when he walks into his girlfriend's room and she's whispering some other guy's name? I mean, really."

Bruixe scowled and shoved, hard. Riku sprawled off the edge of the bed and crashed to the floor.

"Now, that was uncalled for," he muttered. "And you still didn't answer my question."

"Oh, did you ask a question?" Bruixe said sarcastically. "I don't speak jealousy."

Riku got up and sat on the bed again. "Seriously. What were you dreaming about?"

Bruixe sighed. "Demyx. And Terra. And Axel. They… they all died. And… and it was my fault… I…"

"Haven't we had this conversation before?" Riku pointed out.

"Hey, you're the one that asked," Bruixe retorted.

"You said Axel's name, like, six times," he said. "Why's that?"

"Probably because… well, I mean, Terra, I never got to say goodbye to, but I never argued with him. I mean, he knew I cared about him." she admitted. "With Axel, I did – get to say goodbye, I mean – but I was mad at him, so… I don't know, we just didn't end on good terms."

"What was so bad about it?" Riku wanted to know.

Bruixe didn't say anything. How am I supposed to say something like that?

Riku seemed to guess the reason for her silence. "You loved him."

"No!" Bruixe exploded. "Of course not – I mean, come on, I was a Nobody. Nobodies don't love, they don't have hearts. Well, unless you count me and you, but you had my heart anyway, so it doesn't count."

"But you… you still had…" Riku paused awkwardly. "Um… instincts. Wants."

"I never felt anything for Axel," Bruixe said adamantly. "Besides friendship."

She'd never been good at hiding things, and Riku caught on. "But…"

Bruixe set her jaw stubbornly.

"Come on, you can tell me," Riku pressed.

"He showed some… interest," Bruixe admitted. "I made it very clear that I did not share that interest."

"How clear?" Riku wanted to know.

"I threw the guy off a tower," Bruixe said bluntly.

"Pretty clear, then," Riku said.

"Uh, yeah," she replied.

"And why were you mad at him when you… said goodbye?" he wanted to know.

Bruixe fiddled with one corner of the bedsheet. "It was right after I'd busted him out of the castle dungeons. Saix had tortured him – it was awful – and he was hurt, bad. When I made up my mind to go back for Demyx, Axel wanted to come, but I… I made him stay, because he was only going to slow me down. He wasn't happy about it. I think… I think he knew that I wasn't going to make it. And I… I knew my chances weren't good, and… ugh…"

"And?" Riku pressed?

Bruixe buried her face in the pillow.

"You kissed him," Riku concluded.

"He kissed me," she mumbled into the pillowcase.

"And that's why you were mad?"

"I told him I'd break his face if I ever saw him again," Bruixe admitted guiltily.

Riku laughed.

Bruixe risked a peek at his face. "You're not mad?"

"Why would I be?" he told her. "That was a long time ago – what, over a year? Besides, I didn't know you then. Well, not well. I knew you were a Nobody – but I didn't know it was you. So I wasn't your first kiss, big deal."

"Was I yours?" she suddenly wanted to know.

Riku hesitated.

"See, it's not easy to talk about," Bruixe teased. "Come on, spit it out. Who was it?"

"Namine," he said finally.

Bruixe's eyes nearly bugged out of her head. "For real?"

"For real," Riku replied.

"Now I've got to hear the story behind this one," she prodded.

He sighed. "I… well… after Sora went to sleep, to get his memories back… she was the only friend I had, and… I was, I don't know, lonely. And I'd always… jeez, this is weird," he muttered. "I don't know, I kind of had this thing for Kairi, even after she and Sora hooked up –"

"What?!" Bruixe spluttered.

"Had!" Riku repeated. "Past tense! Anyway, I knew we could never… you know. But Namine, she was different, and… she was like Kairi, but she was quieter, and sweeter. And always… sad. For a year, besides DiZ, she was the only person I ever saw. And she was the only one I could talk to. And, I don't know, we just…"

"Hooked up?" Bruixe guessed.

"Not exactly," Riku said, "but something like that."

"You've got a thing for Nobodies, huh," she mused.

He laughed awkwardly. "I guess I do."

"So that's how you got to be such a good kisser," Bruixe said, almost to herself.

Riku smirked, but couldn't quite hide the faint red creeping up his face.

"Well, I guess I can't blame you," she decided. "No wonder you didn't want to kill her."

"Sending her away sucked," he agreed. "But it was better than having to… murder her. Besides, I can thing of a couple things that sucked more. Like having to chase you all over the Eternal Kingdom, for example."

"Shut up," Bruixe told him.

She looked out the window; the sun was rising, the sky turning orange and pink. "I should get dressed," she said to herself.

Riku stood and turned his back without being asked, fiddling with the random things scattered on top of her dresser.

"No peeking," she ordered as she tugged off her nightshirt and slipped her arms into his vest.

"Is this a blindfold?" he asked.

"If it's a black strip of cloth, then yes," she said. "I got tired of wearing after you… um, not-died. Figured people could get over it."

"Get over what?"

"Ha ha," she mocked. "Very funny."

"No, seriously," he told her. "Get over what?"

"My eyes," she said, now kind of annoyed.

"What about them?"

"Gee, I don't know," she said tiredly, marching over and yanking the blindfold out of his hand, "maybe that they're yellow?"

Riku gave her a 'what-are-you-stupid' look. "No they're not."

"Look, just stop it," Bruixe said. "It's not funny anymore."

"I think I'd notice if your eyes were a different color," he told her, looking around, but there was no mirror in Bruixe's room – she'd made one of the soldiers move it out. He grabbed her by the shoulders and half-dragged her down the hall, into his own room, forcing her to stand in front of his mirror.

"See?" he said.

Bruixe peered at her reflection, shocked. Sure enough, her eyes were their old silver color, eerie but natural. She put a hand to her face in disbelief.

"Well, what do you know," she whispered. "Must've happened when I got sent back…huh."

"Like you were healed, maybe?" Riku wondered aloud.

"Maybe," she agreed. "But then… I wonder why I still have all my scars, then?" She'd amassed quite a collection of them by now – two from Saix, on her cheek and the back of her shoulder; two from Isalena, on her chest and wrist; and one on her thigh that she was pretty sure was leftover from the Chaser War.

"Your scars tell your story," Riku said. "They've made you who you are. But your eyes reflect who you are. I guess yellow just wouldn't work."

"Deep," Bruixe said, poking him in the ribs.

"Enough," Riku told her. "We have a battle to finish, or did you forget?"

"All right," she sighed. "Let's go."


aaahhh! it's so long! very long fluff…

i won't make you review if you don't want to, but… *smiles sweetly* you could