LookingForAlaska: Japanese is supposed to be extremely difficult for native English speakers to learn. The Foreign Service Institute (which trains US diplomats, intelligence agents etc. in foreign languages) estimated it would take something like 80 weeks or more than 2000 class hours to become fully fluent (for comparison, French and Spanish are estimated to take around 20 weeks and 600 class hours). Given how long Alex has spent in Japan so far, there's no way he'd become fluent anytime soon, which is something I have to work around. I haven't watched The Darkest Nightmare yet, so those events are not included. (For now? I may decide to do something with it later.)

A/N: As always, thank you all for reading!


Chapter 3: To Catch a Thief

At 8:59pm the Tiffany salamander brooch was surrounded by a circle of police guards, three teenagers, a small child and some very tense silence.

Alex didn't know what to expect. From his readings earlier KID did everything from sneaking in while disguised to walking right in—sometimes through mid-air. Still, he thought as he counted down the seconds, it was a nice break to have an opponent that he shouldn't have to worry about trying to kill him.

Nine o'clock struck, and a voice spoke out in flawless English. "Welcome to tonight's show everyone, with a special mention to our guests from Osaka and abroad!" The voice came from everywhere and nowhere, from every corner of the room at once. "Three, two, one…"

Something small and round plinked down from the ceiling. Alex saw what looked like a pale pink marble, which split open and started releasing billowing clouds of neon coloured smoke. Followed by another, and another.

"It's coming from the vents!" Inspector Nakamori yelled. "Everyone, put on your gas masks!"

Alex and the circle of officers complied. Hakuba and Conan did not.

"He went to the trouble of inviting all of us here," Saguru murmured. "I'd like to think he has more in mind than just knocking us out right away."

Heiji took away the sleeve covering his nose and took a hesitant sniff. "Well, I'd be passed out at this point if it's sleeping gas. I think he's just using it to create cover. " But it quickly became apparent that there was another use for the gathering smoke, as the tendrils reached the ceiling and the fire alarms triggered.

Alex winced; the noise was deafening. Then the sprinklers turned on and started drenching everyone in steady sprays of water. "Someone call the control center and tell them to turn that off!" Inspector Nakamori yelled.

It was all an extremely effective distraction. Alex reached up to push a wet tendril of hair out of his eyes—fighting his instincts which were yelling smoke and noise means an attack, means danger—and stopped. A new figure in white had emerged from the chaos, watching everyone.

So this was Kaitou KID. The face obscured under the top hat and behind the monocle looked younger than Alex expected, though that meant very little given the thief's skill at disguise. He was obviously a showman too, Alex thought, noting the pristine white suit which was somehow not getting soaked like his own shirt was. KID looked blithely unconcerned that he was walking straight into a room full of people whose dearest desire at that moment was to throw him in jail and toss away the keys.

"GET HIM!" As one, Saguru, Conan, Heiji, Alex and the Task Force officers took a step forward to surround the phantom thief.

And could not take another.

Alex tried to pull his leg up, but both of his feet refused to leave the ground, no matter how hard he pulled. He tried to kick one leg out with all his strength, and had to ungracefully windmill his arms to stop himself from toppling. Several of the officers around the case had fallen and now had their entire bodies stuck to the floor.

"…Water activated adhesive, he must have prepared the carpet beforehand…" he heard Hakuba mutter in disgust.

"KID's not getting stuck," Alex said as he knelt down to untie his shoelaces. The thief was whistling as he strolled through the room, past all the officers who were struggling like bugs on flypaper.

"He's probably prepped his shoes," Conan said as he drew his feet out of his sneakers and stepped onto them, taking care not to touch the surrounding carpet. "Hattori, help me."

Heiji lifted Conan up and gingerly placed him on a nearby display case. The glass was strong enough to take the boy's weight, but it was also slick with water, so Heiji kept a firm hand on Conan's waist. Conan pressed his belt and—was that a full sized football?—popped out from the buckle. The boy kicked the ball straight at KID's head with surprising aim, then growled when the thief dodged.

"He's too far away for me to dart him," Conan said in frustration, looking around for another post he could hop to.

"You have darts too? Where are you getting all these wonderful toys?" Alex asked, not really expecting an answer as he stepped onto his own shoes and looked around as well. There was a line of display cases Conan could use as stepping stones to reach the end of the room, but the first one was out of Conan's jumping range.

Heiji took off his jacket and looked at Hakuba. "I'm gonna need your blazer to help Conan-kun reach that case."

Saguru looked at the positions of the display cases, then at the cheerful KID, who was breaking into the plinth holding his target and avoiding the occasional grabs attempted by stubborn Task Force officers with ease. He estimated times and distances, and shook his head. "Use Edogawa-kun's vest instead. Alex and I will go to the entrance of this room and intercept him when he gets out."

"Ya! You jerk—" Conan moved on top of the case, and Heiji's curse was cut short. Saguru removed his blazer, and using it and his socks, managed to make a trail towards the doorway which was also within Alex's reach. The additional sacrifice of Alex's jacket let them both hopscotch to the exit—just as KID reached it as well.

Hakuba made a grab for the thief which was easily dodged, but the motion put him within Alex's range. Alex threw a kick at KID's chest, only for KID to hinge backwards at the waist and let it pass harmlessly overhead. The man moved as if he was made of rubber. The thief back-flipped out of Alex's reach, and ran.

Alex and Saguru gave chase. More officers in uniforms were coming down to the basement to provide backup, but KID did not head for the floor exit. Instead he made a beeline for the elevator.

"Hasn't that been disabled?" Alex asked.

"It has," Saguru said, as KID vanished into the elevator doors. "The elevator landing doors are also supposed to be inoperable, and that's obviously not stopping KID."

They reached the elevator a moment later. There was no one inside, but the ceiling panels had been removed. Alex looked up through the gap and could see the glowing white figure of the thief as he ascended up the elevator shaft. KID noticed his audience below, and saluted. The salute turned into a casual toss, and both boys ran back towards the door as several coloured pellets fell down. Neither of them quite made it in time before the pellets exploded.

"Your thief may not hurt people, but he is utter hell on clothes," Alex muttered. Alex was almost used to people trying to kill him at this point; someone who was only targeting his dignity took some getting used to. He was drenched, shoe-less, and covered with multi-coloured slime, courtesy of KID's little gifts in the elevator. Saguru was in a similar state, with the addition of glitter dusting his hair.

"That was my favourite blazer too," Saguru sighed. "Hey!" he yelled to the equally bedraggled Heiji and Conan who were running out of the exhibit room. Conan had somehow managed to rescue his sneakers from the sticky carpet, though now his every step sounded like he had velcroed his shoes. "KID went up the elevator shaft! He only went up one floor."

"That's the first basement floor; the gala is going on up there," Heiji said as they all changed course towards the stairs. Conan saved his breath so he could keep up on his much shorter legs. "He'll be able to disguise himself as one of the guests."

Saguru called the control room, then switched to live video and zoomed out so they were all visible on screen—a measure they all had agreed on beforehand to prevent KID from mimicking their voices in order to give orders. "KID is on the first basement level. Seal all the exits to that floor and make sure no one enters or leaves, no matter what." He closed the call. "He's not quite home free yet."


The first basement floor wasn't as crowded as Conan had feared, but there were still a good number of gala guests wandering about. He rushed to the main entrance, and with relief found it barred as requested.

The four looked at each other. "Now what?" Alex asked. "KID may be on this floor, but there's too many people to go around and pinch everyone's cheeks."

"There are two exits to this floor, and both are blocked right now," Saguru said. "I'd expect him to cause a distraction at one of them and sneak out."

"Three," Conan said. They looked down at him. "Three exits. He could go back to the elevator shaft. I wonder why he only went up one floor." KID knew the layout of the museum, and the elevator led all the way up to the top floor. He already had the brooch. Conan had an uncomfortable feeling that the thief was prolonging the chase on purpose. But why?

"Four of us, three exits. All right, that's pretty simple," said Heiji. "You two each cover one of the floor entrances; Conan and I will head back to the elevator."

It was reasonable, but something about it rankled. Kaitou KID had had the upper hand so far; they've done nothing but react to the thief's antics. If only they could anticipate the thief…

He looked at Alex, and thought of something.

"Actually, I have another idea," Conan said.


Heiji had found tonight to be very entertaining so far. There was nothing quite like the thrill of the chase, the adrenaline in the veins as you matched wits against a clever and skilled opponent. Kudo was enjoying himself as well, he could tell. KID heists were a nice change from the blood and nastiness of their regular murder cases.

The first part of Kudo's plan was easy enough to follow. Only once Heiji and Alex found their way back to the elevator door and blocked it with a heavy statue that took their combined strength to lift, there was nothing to do but wait.

Heiji agreed with Kudo's logic in general: Conan, being the only one of them KID couldn't disguise himself as, should take one of the exits himself, leaving two of them to pair up and Hakuba Saguru to wander about as prime bait for impersonation. This division had the added, unspoken benefit of allowing Heiji to try to get some information on the mysterious Alex Rider…without tipping the other teen off.

"So…what's Hakuba like when he's not solving a case? Still high and mighty?" Heiji figured it was as good a start as any.

The other teen gave him a look. "What do you have against Hakuba?" Before Heiji could utter a half-hearted denial: "You two have been at each other like cats and dogs all evening."

"Besides having an ego that could be used as a balloon and refusing to admit when he's wrong? Ask him what happened at the Detective Koushien one of these days." Heiji's blood still simmered at the memory. Hakuba, of course, was pretending it all had never happened.

"…He gets better once you know him more," Alex said. "Do you teen detectives all know each other?"

"Us bigger names have pretty much all met each other; Kudo Shinichi the Detective of the East, me, Detective of the West" —begrudgingly— "Hakuba, and Sera Masumi."

Alex snorted. "You guys have titles? Truly the sign of great humility." His brown eyes suddenly sharpened. "Hakuba's never met Shinichi Kudo. Has that Sera girl?"

Crap. Both Hakuba and Sera have met Kudo, of course, but as Conan. Heiji tried for a nonchalant laugh. "You'd have to ask her."

"I thought you said you've all met?"

"I've met everyone else. That's what I meant." Alex looked unconvinced. This was not going the way Heiji planned at all.

Luckily, a familiar voice called out right then. "Alex, Hattori, over here!" It sounded exactly like Hakuba's voice, down to the slight British accent, and came from a nearby doorway leading to an exhibit of Roman art.

Alex and Heiji looked at each other. I'll go in, you go around, Alex mouthed silently, and Heiji nodded. It looked like Kudo's guess was right. He watched Alex head towards the doorway, and circled around to that room's exit, sending out a group text at the same time.

Hakuba, if you're not the one in the Roman exhibit, send reinforcements there now.


Alex ran into the room, then stopped short.

As they expected, it was Kaitou KID, lounging on top of a replica Roman arch, white cape and all. Alex reached for his cell phone, then jerked back as a playing card shot towards where his hand had been. The door slammed shut behind him with a sharp click.

"Oh no, let's not have interruptions yet," KID said. Alex forced his eyes to watch the thief's movements instead of studying the modified card gun he had shot the Ace of Spades out of—it looked like a child's toy, and unlike any of the guns he had used or studied before. Smithers would have loved it.

"You want to talk?" Alex said, walking towards him. There was an exit behind KID which he could escape from; Heiji should be waiting outside, with the others on their way. "Why not come down then? I'm starting to get a crick in my neck."

"Nah, I like the high ground." KID tilted his head to an improbable angle. Combined with his monocle, he reminded Alex of an owl.

"But I couldn't let the chance to talk to a real life teenage spy pass."


Alex reacted very quickly; Kaito had to give him that. The other teen's eyes widened for a second; then they darkened, and suddenly it was clear to see that Alex Rider was dangerous. "…Did you bug Hakuba's house?"

Aha, so Hakuba did know. "Good guess, but no." Aside from Hakuba's fondness for regular bug sweeps and testing Hakuba Labs' new signal jammers, he doubted the detective would be careless enough to discuss Alex's situation anywhere unsecured. "Hakuba is a very good detective, but I'm surprised MI6 is so lax about the secrecy of their teenage agent."

"Obviously, if random thieves from the other side of the world can find out about it," Alex bit out.

"Ah, but I'm the Moonlight Magician. Rules don't apply."

"Rules of legality, or just of common decency?" Oh, he'd made Alex angry.

"I usually try not to disregard the latter. I just wanted to know why on earth MI6 would force a teenager to do their dirty work."

If Alex's gaze had sharpened before, he was positively glaring daggers now. It was a really good thing he was out of reach above. "Why, are you in the market for an agent now too?"

"No. I can do things like that myself, thank you very much." Kaito raised gloved hands in a gesture of supplication, and mentally added a note to find out exactly what Alex's history with MI6 was, if any mention of them raised his hackles like that. "I just wanted to know why you're accompanying Hakuba. What does tantei-san need protection from?"


The Kaitou KID was officially the weirdest criminal Alex had ever encountered, which was saying something given that contenders included Kaspar aka Mr. Planet-Tattoo-face and his own evil clone. No thief he had ever heard of sent advance notice of his heists, dress in flashy white like a giant target, or showed such interest in the well-beings of the detectives who wanted to capture him.

And he knew about Alex, too. If Alex hadn't wanted to catch KID before, he certainly did now. "So you can find out classified information, but not why I'm with a friend of mine for the summer?"

A banging noise came from the exit behind them. Heiji and the others had arrived. As KID spared a glance towards the door they were having trouble opening, Alex launched a high kick at the column the thief was standing on top of. A genuine Roman marble column would have broken his foot, but this was a replica, and the hollow plaster shattered. Kaitou KID leapt down, white cloak flaring out into a hang glider which let him pass overhead—

Until Alex used a nearby stand as a leaping off point and just managed to grab at one tip. The smooth fabric slid out of his grasp almost instantly, but it was enough to yank the Kaitou KID back down to the ground.

Conan ran inside the room, wrists raised at the phantom thief fleeing towards him. KID dodged to one side. Alex copied the move, more on instinct than anything else, and something needle thin shot out past where they'd both been.

Conan's wristwatch doubles as a dart gun? Alex thought distractedly before focusing on the chase again. Kaito KID fired another playing card, forcing Conan to duck down, and a high vault carried the thief over his pint-sized pursuer and out the door.

"Hattori and Hakuba are in position outside," Conan said to Alex quietly as they followed.

It was the plan Conan had come up with earlier: present KID with both a puzzle and a convenient tantei to impersonate, and then herd him into a dead end. Risky, and dependent on the thief's curiosity and love of playing with his pursuers, but it seemed to be working. For the first time this evening, they and not KID were in control of the game.