A/N: This chapter resumes immediately after the former


Things were not getting off to a great start, Amanda thought, thinking back to the struggle they had getting up the stairs. It had taken nearly 15 minutes which included 3 rest breaks, 2 near falls, and one encounter from a nosy neighbor who started lecturing about the evils of partying and alcohol.

Once they finally reached the apartment, Amanda guided Olivia to the couch where the older woman instantly sank into the cushions, relieved to no longer be moving, but finding herself missing Amanda's touch when the detective moved away.

"I'd better take Frannie out before I need to break out the mop," Amanda announced, watching Frannie who had been anxiously pacing near the door ever since their arrival. "Make yourself at home. Do you need anything?" Amanda asked, still looking at Olivia with concern.

"No, I'm fine now Amanda. Take your time." Olivia assured, sitting up a little straighter now that the dizziness had begun to subside. Amanda hesitated for a moment before an impatient bark from Frannie drew her attention away.

The moment the door shut behind them Olivia let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding. Her time with Amanda so far had been unexpected to say the least, and she still wasn't sure if she had made the right decision. Yet, the urge to rest was becoming too strong to deny and Olivia lacked the energy to resist.

Olivia shrugged off her blazer, feeling much cooler the moment her bare arms were exposed. Bending over slowly, the only speed she was currently able to go at, Olivia tugged off her boots and repositioned herself, appreciating the length of the couch that allowed her to fully stretch out. She pressed her cheek against one of the pillows on the couch and sighed gratefully enjoying the feel of the cool pillow against her heated skin and the soft cushions beneath her aching body.

She wasn't usually one to make herself so comfortable in someone else's home, but she always felt she could be more relaxed around Amanda, although she never chose to do so, until now. She blamed the illness for making her lower some of her shields and letting Amanda see her in such a way.

Finally being able to lie down offered a relief Olivia had been craving all day. Her head was swimming and she felt like she was stuck in slow motion, moving through water with every step she took. Walking on flat ground was difficult enough, navigating stairs had been nearly impossible.

Although Olivia was grateful for Amanda's assistance, she couldn't help but feel embarrassed by her dependence on Amanda. After her second near tumble the blonde had taken matters into her own hands and wrapped her arm firmly around Olivia's waist, steadying her as they trudged up the stairs together. Her touch had been both comforting and necessary as Olivia doubted she would have made it up the stairs unscathed by herself.

Thinking about how much effort it had taken to walk up and down her apartment block Olivia was now immensely glad she had let Amanda drive her, as she now realized she certainly wouldn't have made it walking home on her own. But as kind as her gesture was, Olivia was still perplexed by Amanda's insistence on looking after her. Considering how strained their relationship was, and the fact that it was confined to work only, Olivia couldn't figure out why Amanda had gone through as much trouble as she had.

Although a warm bath would surely make her more comfortable, she didn't need hot water; she would have been fine just going to bed early at her own apartment, there was no need for Amanda to bring her to hers. If their roles were reversed Olivia was ashamed to admit she probably wouldn't have done the same, preferring to keep Amanda strictly within the category of a coworker. However, the blonde clearly didn't regard her with the same boundaries.

Olivia thought back to when Amanda had asked her to stay. Initially Olivia thought she was just being polite, but Amanda had sounded so sincere and even seemed like she would have been disappointed if Olivia had said no. Briefly Olivia allowed herself to entertain the thought that Amanda had invited her over because she wanted to be with her, but she soon dismissed the idea. She doesn't think about you like that, Olivia admonished herself, she's just being friendly, she rationalized.

Yet, Olivia hopefully wondered if Amanda still admired her. She knew Amanda came to New York with a strong case of hero worship and idealized expectations of her, and Olivia regretfully acknowledged that she had done little to preserve that image; instead brushing off Amanda's obvious attempts at forming a relationship and choosing to shut her out. She knew it was wrong, but being around Amanda always seemed to make her thoughts stray to places they had no business being.

Olivia firmly reminded herself it was safer to keep Amanda at an arm's-length away, although she could never quite convince herself that she truly believed that. It's better for both of us, she argued, trying and failing to resolve the frequent argument she had with herself. The puzzling thoughts continued to swim around her already weary mind and Olivia decided to put them to rest, just for now.

XXX

"Are you satisfied Frannie Mae?" Amanda questioned as she and her dog stepped over the threshold. "You took me around the block twice, that's once more than we agreed to." Amanda gently chided her pet before scratching her behind her ears. Frannie barked happily before bounding over to her water dish and patiently waiting for Amanda to fill it. As Amanda set the now full bowl back on the ground she glanced over at Olivia who had made herself comfortable on the couch.

"Sorry I was gone so long Liv," Amanda apologized. "Frannie convinced me to take her on an extended walk. She's a tough negotiator" Amanda grinned.

"Liv?" Amanda called again moving closer when the brunette didn't respond.

A soft snore was her only reply. Amanda peered down at the brunette and smiled. Olivia was sound asleep, clutching a pillow and looking more relaxed than she had all day.

"Quiet, Frannie," Amanda whispered to her dog, who was now pawing at the cupboard door where her food was kept. "Our guest is sleeping." Amanda explained, as she retrieved and poured Frannie's food as quietly as she could.

Frannie paid little attention to Olivia or Amanda's words as she dove into her food dish with her usual amount of gusto. Amanda shook her head in mock annoyance at her dog, watching as pieces of kibble skittered across the floor.

Amanda paced back over to Olivia contemplating if she should wake her up. She had intended for Olivia to take the bed as it would give her more room to spread out, but she looked so content right now Amanda was hesitant to wake her.

Deciding to leave her be Amanda absentmindedly bent over and reached out to brush a stray piece of hair away from Olivia's face. Amanda's fingers barely brushed her skin when she pulled her hand back in alarm as she felt the heat radiating from Olivia's skin along with a thin sheen of sweat.

"Jeez Liv, you're burning up," Amanda exclaimed, smoothing back the damp strands. Standing up straight Amanda made a beeline for the bathroom and plugged the tub, deciding to make good on her promise of hot water. While the tub filled she stripped the sheets from her bed, electing to replace them with cooler ones.

Amanda worked quickly and managed to keep her cursing to a minimum when she banged her knee on the nightstand, not wanting to wake Olivia until she had to. Having changed the linens to her lightest set Amanda checked on the water, getting there just in time to stop the tub from overflowing.

Slipping back into the living room, Amanda tentatively woke Olivia.

"Liv," Amanda called. "Olivia," Amanda said louder, gently shaking her shoulder.

"Hmm?" Olivia groggily murmured, rubbing her hand across her face and opening her eyes to peer at Amanda in confusion.

"Amanda, what are you doing here?" Olivia mumbled curiously, still half-asleep.

"I live here," Amanda replied, trying to hide her smile. She couldn't help it, the brunette was kind of cute when she just woke up, especially when she wasn't fussing at her.

"Oh." Olivia stared blankly at Amanda before clarity slowly returned.

"Amanda," Olivia said, sounding more awake. She tried to push herself up, but her arms gave out midway and she fell back against the pillows.

"Let me help you," Amanda offered, reaching for Olivia's arm and helping her maneuver into a sitting position. With one hand gripping the arm of the sofa and Amanda holding the other, Olivia managed to push herself up, her skin more flushed from the exertion.

Amanda waited for Olivia to pull away from her as soon as she caught her balance, but to her surprise Olivia didn't. Instead she kept holding Amanda's hand while looked at her expectantly.

"I drew you a bath," Amanda mentioned at last, when she realized that the brunette wanted to know why Amanda had disrupted her nap.

"Really!" Olivia responded, pulling Amanda into a sudden hug, unable to mask her delight that Amanda had prepared what she had been dreaming about doing when she got home. Amanda tentatively returned the hug, caught off guard but pleasantly surprised by Olivia's sudden energy.

Amanda headed to the bathroom with Olivia eagerly following behind. Stepping into the bathroom, Olivia was greeted by a large tub filled to the brim with water and a stack of plush towels piled next to it. At that moment it looked like a dream come true.

"Do you want to do the honors?" Amanda asked, offering an orange and yellow orb to Olivia.

Olivia carefully took the object and turned it over in her hands before cautiously dropping it in the water. She stood mesmerized, her mouth agape as she watched the tub explode with bubbles and color, and Amanda smiled at the sight of her normally serious boss being transfixed by a bath bomb.

"Take your time," Amanda said, "I'll be right outside if you need me."

Amanda backed out of the bathroom feeling more at ease about her decision to bring Olivia home with her. The look on Olivia's face when she saw the warm bath was a memory Amanda would treasure. Just when she thought the night might actually go the way she hoped Amanda heard a sound she had wished she wouldn't hear again.

In a flash she was back at the door.

"Olivia, are you alright?" Amanda called through the door. "Liv?"

Her worry increased when she didn't hear a reply. "Olivia, I'm coming in," she warned.

Amanda pushed the door open, grateful Olivia hadn't locked it, and stopped at the sight before her. Olivia was leaning against the wall with one hand gripping the towel bar. Her skin had taken on a grey pallor again and she appeared faint. Amanda hurried over to her watching her step as she went. The toilet seat was up and Amanda noticed with relief that most of the vomit made it into the bowl.

"I'm sorry," Olivia rasped. She attempted to stand up straight and swayed unsteadily in the process. Amanda was by her side in an instant, carefully wrapping her arms around the brunette and pulling her towards her.

"I didn't mean to," Olivia whispered, sounding miserable.

"I know, Liv. It's okay, I'm not upset," Amanda soothed, readjusting her grip as the taller woman rested most of her weight on her.

"C'mon, let's get you into the tub while the water's still warm." Amanda coaxed, trying to steer Olivia toward the bath.

"But-"Olivia whined, still staring at the mess.

"Don't worry about that, I'll take care of it," Amanda promised, moving in front of Olivia to block her view without letting go of her. Curiously Amanda pressed the back of her hand to Olivia's forehead. Although her skin's flushed hue had been replaced by the ashen tint once again, she still felt warm, much warmer than she had been before. No wonder she's so out of it, Amanda thought.

Olivia finally averted her gaze and instead looked down at her clothes in disgust. Delicately pinching the fabric of her shirt, Olivia pulled it away from her before letting it fall again as if unsure of where to start.

"I can help you?" Amanda suggested cautiously. She didn't want to overstep her bounds knowing Olivia would normally never let her help undress her, but Olivia's new fever-induced mannerism gave Amanda the feeling that the rules had changed.

Olivia hesitantly glanced at her, then back down at herself. She grimaced, then nodded, which Amanda took as her cue. Amanda couldn't suppress a rush of excitement at the prospect of being so close to her boss in what would be an intimate way were it not been for the circumstances that brought them there. But she immediately felt guilty when she remembered why they were there. Don't think about her like that, Amanda scolded herself, She's sick, she needs your assistance not your appreciation. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts Amanda returned to her task with renewed focus.

Reaching for Olivia's sleeveless blouse, Amanda made quick work of deftly undoing the buttons. When the blouse fell open Amanda couldn't help but catch a glimpse of black satin. Forcing herself to avert her eyes, she reached for Olivia's shoulders intending to push the shirt down her arms when Olivia made a small noise of protest. Amanda stopped, fearing she had made Olivia uncomfortable.

"Sorry, Liv. I'll stop." Amanda started to back away.

Olivia frowned in confusion, then shook her head. "I'll get you sick." she weakly protested.

Amanda relaxed, relieved that that was the reason why Olivia stopped her. "Liv, I've been around you all day at work," Amanda reminded her. "If you were going to get me sick, I'm pretty sure I've already caught it.

Olivia took a moment to seriously ponder her words, scrunching up her face in concentration. "You're probably right," she eventually conceded, closing the gap Amanda had created. She gently grasped Amanda's hands and placed them on her shoulders giving Amanda permission to finish her task.

Amanda quickly slid the soiled blouse off, adamantly keeping her eyes on Olivia's face while it fell to the floor.

"Thanks Amanda," Olivia exhaled in relief. Amanda noticed she moved much more freely now that she was rid of the blouse which had borne the brunt of the mess on her clothes.

"No problem, Liv," Amanda managed to reply. Seeing that Olivia was a lot steadier on her feet than before and that some of her color had returned, Amanda felt safe leaving her. She backed away and Olivia wasted no time undoing her belt, pulling it out of the loops and dropping it on the floor on top of her shirt. As Olivia reached for the zipper on her slacks Amanda made herself to turn around, certain that if Olivia were fully cognizant she wouldn't be undressing so casually in front of her.

Amanda dropped to her knees and started prowling around in the cabinet under the sink searching for a bottle of cleaner. She busied herself with fervently cleaning up the few errant spots and the toilet while Olivia finished undressing, seemingly uncaring that Amanda was still in the room. Gritting her teeth Amanda resisted the urge to turn around as she gingerly gathered Olivia's clothes and exited the room just as Olivia stepped into the tub, her sighs of pleasure echoing in Amanda's ears.

XXX

Amanda hastily dropped the soiled clothes in the laundry area, intending to deal with them later. Right now she needed a moment to herself. Amanda strode to the kitchen intent on calming herself with a large cup of coffee. Filling up the coffeepot with water Amanda reached in the cabinet for her favorite coffee, the one she saved for special occasions or times of stress, of which this was currently the latter.

While searching for the coffee, her hand brushed against a box. Curiously she pulled it out only to realize it was the box of teabags she had bought a long time ago. She had never even opened it. Amanda was about to put it back on the shelf before it occurred to her that Olivia might like a cup of tea.

Olivia, the name stuck in her mind and Amanda huffed in irritation. She had come out here to get her off her mind for two minutes and she couldn't even manage that. Amanda started to fling the tea back into the cabinet, but she stopped herself at the last minute, feeling bad for getting frustrated at Olivia. She clearly wasn't behaving like this on purpose and furthermore she didn't even want to be here, Amanda recalled that she practically bribed her to come.

Taking a deep breath, Amanda set the box on the counter. Giving up on her coffee pursuit Amanda switched on the coffeepot to let the water boil deciding now was as good a time as any to try the tea.

Amanda paced to her bedroom, figuring she may as well put on her pajamas now. She opened the drawer and pulled out the first pair she saw which happened to be her favorite pajamas for cold weather. Quickly dressing, Amanda laid down on the fresh sheets and let a deep exhale escape her. Today had turned out to be far more than she could have ever expected. It was a huge deviation from her usual evening plans of watching reality TV with Frannie, who only paid attention if there was a dog on screen.

Lately she had wished for something a bit more exciting, but taking care of her sick boss wasn't exactly what she had in mind. Be careful what you wish for, Amanda thought wryly. She closed her eyes and attempted to do spend a few minutes meditating, but she quickly sat up wincing as Olivia begin belting out a very unique rendition of Somewhere Over the Rainbow.

Amanda wondered what she had been thinking asking Olivia to stay with her. She didn't have to bring her home with her. The only reason the brunette even agreed to come at all was because Amanda had bribed her with the promise of a bath, which had turned into quite the ordeal. Idly, Amanda wondered what had even prompted her to stop by Olivia's office in the first place. She hadn't needed to drop off the files that night, they weren't due for another week.

Amanda sighed as she flung herself back down on the bed. It was pointless asking herself a question she already long since knew the answer to. She turned in the files early for the same reason she insisted on driving Olivia home and ultimately bringing her here. Because she had never quite been able to dismantle that podium that she placed Olivia on so many years ago. Because even though meeting her and getting to work with her fell far short of her idealized expectations, she still looked forward to everyday she got to spend with her. Because when it came to Olivia, any attention was better than none. Because she was hopelessly in love with Olivia, and she didn't know how, nor did she want, to not be.

Amanda sat up slowly feeling drained, the way she always did when she let herself entertain thoughts about things that would never be. Trying to get her mind on happier things, Amanda got up and padded over to where Frannie lay, contently chewing on her favorite toy.

"You're lucky you're a dog, Frannie," Amanda murmured to her dog while rubbing her stomach. Frannie gave a happy bark in reply. She sat there petting Frannie for a while until she felt better and she swore there were very few problems a good dog couldn't fix.

Getting to her feet Amanda headed back to the kitchen. She opened the pantry and peered on the top shelf hoping she wasn't all out. After pushing aside a couple boxes of cereal and jars of peanut butter she found what she was looking for.

"Aha" Amanda victoriously announced as she spied two cans of soup at the very back.

She was just about to go ask Olivia which one she would prefer, beef noodle or chicken noodle. when she heard Olivia scream her name. Amanda nearly dropped the cans in shock, hastily setting them on the counter on her way to the bathroom. She wrenched open the bathroom door, afraid of what she would see.

Olivia sat in the tub, orange suds around her contrasting with her grey pallor, one hand clutching the edge of the tub and the other clasped over her mouth. Recognizing the look, Amanda grabbed the wastebin and skidded across the room, getting the bin to Olivia just in time. Thankfully not much came up, although Amanda didn't see how she could possibly have anything left.

Olivia leaned weakly over the edge of the tub and Amanda automatically rubbed circles on her back. Olivia arched into her touch and Amanda continued her ministrations. She hummed softly, not in any hurry for the moment to end.