Chapter 2

(A/N: Wow, sorry to make you wait for this - which is just a transition scene. However, I finished Chapters VII and VII, so...uh, you'll have more regular updates in the future? Positives! Positives!)

After the incident at the beach resort, Conan was taken home by a highly irritated Mouri Kogouro, whose high spirits had vanished when he heard what had become of his day of staring at girls in skimpy swimsuits. Instead he spent the rest of the day watching Yoko Okino reruns, and by late afternoon, he had predictably managed to drink himself into unconsciousness.

Meanwhile, Genta, Mitsuhiko, and Ayumi had insisted they go to the arcade to make up for missing the beach, dragging Haibara with them. And so, after going to the arcade...and then to the mall to see a display of the newest Masked Yaiba cards...and then to the ice cream parlor because Genta was hungry...and then to a restaurant because it was dinner time...they finally managed to conclude the day by making a circuit around Beika city, dropping off each of the children at their respective houses. By the time Prof. Agasa and Haibara got home, it was already nine o'clock.

It had been an anxious six hours for Conan, who couldn't resist dashing to the window every ten minutes and checking if the Professor had brought Haibara home yet.

'Haibara... I wonder what she meant when she asked me how I knew I was a good person. When'd she get into philosophy anyway?'

Turning the question over in his head, Conan looked for some strange ulterior motive behind the question to no avail. Instead, he resigned him self to peering out the window again, to check if Agasa's yellow Beetle had returned yet.

'Why does Haibara have to think about such weird things anyway? All it does is make me worry about her...'

He sighed in disappointment and went to go get a mystery novel from his room. At least it'd kill some time.

However, unbeknown to him, Ran had been watching him ever since they had got back, a wistful look in her eyes.

'I wish Shinichi was back... Ai-chan doesn't know how lucky she is to have someone like Conan waiting for her. I remember that Shinichi used to do that for me every time I got home from somewhere... He run right up to our car and bang on my window. Then he'd wave and run off...and Dad was always right behind him, trying to catch him.'

She giggled. Those had been the days...

Looking on, she was almost jealous as Conan suddenly ripped himself from his mystery novel to plaster his face against the window for the twenty-second time. 'Just like Shinichi...'

Later that night, she wasn't surprised when Conan bounced over to her excitedly right after she heard Agasa's car pull into his drive way. "Ran-neechan! Professor Agasa is finally back! Umm... Can I sleep over at his house tonight?!"

Ran pretended to consider it very seriously for a moment before exclaiming mischievously, "Conan-kun! Hmmm...I think I know why you want to go over!"

Conan looked at her surprised. "You do?"

Ran smiled, "You've been looking at the window all day! It's Ai-chan, isn't it? Is that why you want to go over to Agase's? To spend all night by her side?"

He was momentarily aghast. 'That sounds like something Sonoko would say...'

Quickly regaining his composure, Conan pouted before lamenting in his most pitiful voice, "Ran-neechannnn...it makes me sad that you'd even suspect that."

Giggling to herself, Ran patted Conan on the head. "How cute! Alright then, you can go, but only because you remind me so much of Shinichi right now. He used to wait for me like this too...but now I guess my turn to wait for him..."

Looking down at Conan's blank face, she blushed before quickly saying, "Um, anyway, I'll get your stuff together! Have fun!"

Conan, managing a sickeningly cute voice, gushed, "Thanks Ran-neechan!", before turning around and running into the living room.

His chest was feeling a bit numb. 'Why does it feel like I just chose Ai over Ran right now? Gah...Dammit. I can't even tell what my own thoughts are right now... All I know is that seeing Ran like this...I hate it. Ran, I promise that I'll tell you everything one day, antidote or no antidote...'

Slowing to a stop, he looked down at his tiny hands. 'But for now, both of us will just have to wait a little longer.' Punching the wall with his small, curled fist, he realized just how helpless he was feeling at the moment.

His own turmoil, Ran's situation and Ai's strange questions...

There was nothing he could do about any of it.


Having watched Conan sprint out of the room, Ran hummed as she went to go gather everything Conan might need. 'He sure is excited!'

Rummaging through Conan's room, she brought out a change of clothing, his pajamas and several mystery books. To go along with them were his tooth brush, tooth paste, a towel to wash his face with, and of course, to make sure the ghosts don't get him, a night light.

Putting it all in a convenient little backpack, Ran called, "Conan, are you ready?!"

Appearing out of no where, Conan eagerly grabbed the bag. As he headed out of the door, he heard Ran call after him, "Now Conan, don't forget to brush your teeth! I packed some mystery books for you! Don't do anything dangerous! And come home safely!"

Pack in tow, Conan walked over to Professor Agasa's house before knocking on the door. The Professor answered it, weary, after dealing with the Detective Boys for the entire day. "Shinichi? What are you doing here?"

Smiling sheepishly, Conan pointed at his pack. "I'm sleeping over tonight!"

Rolling his eyes exasperatedly at Conan's unexpected appearance, the Professor let Conan in. "That's fine, I guess," Agasa said, as if he had any other choice, "but I'd at least like to know the reason you're staying here."

Conan nodded. At the very least, he owed the old professor that. "I need to talk to Ai."

Comprehending it was something important, Agasa directed him to the guest room up stairs.

Setting down his down his pack, Conan took out his pajamas, his night light (he had no idea why Ran always seemed to insist on packing it for him; it wasn't as if he was afraid of the dark), his toothbrush and his towel and tossed them on the bed. He left the mystery books where they were. It wasn't very likely he'd be reading them tonight anyway. Having unpacked, he set out to hunt down Ai.

Judging from the fact she spent most of her free time researching, he had a feeling that she was in the lab, working.

He was right.

Opening the door, he found one Haibara Ai, certified genius in biochemistry and toxicology, hunched over a computer typing rapidly. He called out to her, "Oi! Haibara!"

Hearing his voice, she froze. 'Why oh why was he here right now?'

Her hands flickered like lightning, logging her out of her computer in two smooth keystrokes. Without sparing a single glance at Conan, Haibara swept by him, out the door, up the stairs, and out of reach.

Conan, surprised by her abrupt departure, could do nothing else but follow her, and, a minute later, he found himself sitting with his back against the wall facing the door to the bathroom. She had, in a brilliant escape maneuver, made a beeline straight for the showers and now he was stuck waiting for her outside the bathroom.

Aimlessly finding funny patterns in the carpet as he waited, he felt the minutes tick by - first five, then ten, and now twenty.

Musing to himself, he noted, 'She's staying in there an awfully long time. Maybe its just because she's a girl and she naturally takes a really long time in the bathroom... Or maybe she's trying to avoid me because of the question she asked me earlier. Hm...'

At long last, she came out, with a towel around her body and her hair dripping with water. Conan stared up at her. She stared back, not looking happy to see him at all. Gesturing at her towel clad body, she said scathingly, "You know, Kudo, I didn't think the Great Detective of the East was into nine year old girls. Ran will be devastated."

Rolling his eyes, Conan turned his gaze to the wall, before asking, "Oi, Haibara, is there something up? You're acting a little different today..."

He waited a few seconds but received no response. Turning around, he realized Haibara had already retreated to her room.

Conan sighed, feeling stymied. 'Haibara...I swear that she's better at escaping than KID is.'

Waiting a few minutes, to give her enough time to get dressed, Conan tried the door knob to her room. Unsurprisingly, it was locked. The moment he let go of the door knob, the lights in Haibara's room went out. Either she was going to sleep right now or she was sitting in the dark waiting for him to go away.

'Well, you can't force this sort of thing...'

Seeing he was not going to be talking to her today, short of picking the lock or bashing down the door, Conan walked slowly back to his room. All that waiting for nothing. At least Ran packed some mystery books for him.

He showered and brushed his teeth before settling down with a copy of "The Adventure of the Speckled Band".

He had to admit, having already read it six times did dampen the mystery a bit...but it shouldn't...have been enough...to get his eye lids...to...to...

Droop...

...


When he woke up again, it was still dark. Mumbling to himself, he glanced at the clock for a moment. 'Two fifty-two...'

Groping his way through the dark corridors of Agasa's house, he stumbled his way down stairs and headed for the bathroom.

He relieved himself before stepping back into the darkness of the house. 'Hm...a glass of milk would be really nice right now.'

Still a bit sleep addled, Conan felt his legs suddenly turn and bring his body down to the kitchen and where his arms poured him a glass of milk.

Sipping it on his way back up the stairs, he felt the shroud around his head lighten as he got used to the sensations of being awake. And as he walked, he felt something he missed the first time around: a light draft. It was subtle; Conan had to give it credit. Any lesser man wouldn't have noticed it at all. And it was coming from Haibara's room.

A series of thoughts zipped through his head: 'Strange. Did Haibara leave her window wide open? Why would she do that? She, of all people, would know she'd get a cold...'

Checking the door knob, he found the room still locked.

Pursing his lips, Conan looked at the door knob in realization before dashing back down stairs, throwing on some slippers, and blowing out the front door. Heading around to the back of the house, he found what he had suspected: Haibara's window thrown wide open and a chain of bed sheets lowered from the window.

She had escaped.

He paused a moment to admire the sight. While it had been specifically built to escape him, it bore a strange and elusive artistry, something that only an out-witted detective could appreciate.

Perhaps...perhaps he'd get a chance to talk to her today after all.

Glancing down at his milk which was now numbing his hand, he realized that he had forgot to microwave it. Cold milk in a night like this was no good.

He hurried back into the house.


The room was dark, illuminated only by the light of a series of computer screens. In front of them worked, as usual, Haibara Ai, who had decided to forgo the usual nightmare for a night of respite in the lab.

However, it was doing nothing but irking her. Her weariness was beginning to show; she had forgotten to take into account how free hydrogen atoms would affect the bonding of two components in her antidote-to-be. The mixture had almost finished cooling and all she could do was stare, frustrated, at the little block of precipitate that had appeared out of her solution. Dumping the entire beaker down a nearby sink, Haibara fell into her computer chair as her mind wandered away from abstruse chemical formulas, back to the concept of good and evil.

Closing her eyes, she heard her voice echoing in her mind, 'Hmph. Not even Kudo knew what good was. But that shouldn't be unexpected. If I analyze this, then it's obvious that good and evil are relative...And as long as humans can develop opinions, there are no absolutes.'

'However, evil is inherently more powerful; death can almost never have good consequences. Meanwhile, if you do good, there are potentially harmful consequences through the butterfly effect.'

'So if I act evil, then I'm almost certainly acting evil, but if I try to be good, there is also a good chance I am being evil. While evil can be potentially good, it is far less likely than good to be evil.'

She paused, letting the strange logic whirl around her like fallen leaves, comprehending only the fact that she comprehended nothing.

'So how do you know for certain?'

She felt her thoughts drifting again and taking her with them, as if she were on a cloud. This time, the image of a bright faced teenage girl replaced the quandary of good and evil. 'Ran...how she bothers me. She's so much like Akemi. And she's so selfless. Everything that I'm not, she is. A practical angel.'

Haibara smiled dryly to herself. But she was an angel too.

There was a quote she remembered dimly - said by Dr. Oppenheimer referring to the powers of Shiva. That quote, that Hindu God, seemed to suit her perfectly.

"I have become death, the destroyer of worlds..."

Yes, that was it.

She was an angel of death, the souls of thousands billowing around her in a flowing cape, their skulls at her feet and their bony hands grasping her wings, grasping for the life that had once empowered them... These hands, which rattled when she stretched her wings, reminded her that no matter what, she could never truly be free.

Atonement. That was her only hope. The last little spirit in Pandora's box. Hope...but how powerless hope was.

Suddenly, the lights sprang on, waking her from her reverie and blinding her momentarily. In her blindness, she heard a small voice call to her. "Haibara?"

It was Conan, clad in pajamas and holding a glass of milk. "What are you doing here Conan? Do you know how late it is?" Haibara hissed at him.

Conan scoffed. "I was using the bathroom and getting a glass of milk. The question is, what are you doing here and do you know how late it is Haibara?"

Blinking her eyes hard, Haibara met his challenge and with a broadside which would shame battleships, shot back, "I'm making the antidote to fix your sorry little life. As for time, what is it? One o'clock?"

Conan stared at her, thinking to himself, 'Isn't your fault that my life is sorry and little?'

Out loud though, he was thankfully more tactful:" No. It's three. In the morning."

Ignoring her obviously heated words, Conan strode courageously up to her, into the teeth of a reared tiger. Putting the glass milk in front of her, Conan said, as if it were an ordinary gesture, "Here. I took a few sips, but its still warm. Now come on, let's talk. Why are you up so late?"

His congeniality disarmed her and she, unsure of what to do, settled down, feeling confused at her own outburst. Not able to meet the boy's inquiring eyes, Haibara directed her answer toward the cup of milk, "What about it? What if I can't sleep?"

'And what if I don't want to have nightmares again? What if I don't want to wake up sweating and panting?'

Conan moved closed, still looking at her. "Tell me what's wrong, Haibara."

His appeal must have had exuded some sort of strange gravity, because she suddenly felt her gaze rising to meet his. Suddenly, she felt her eyes locked to the windows to Conan's soul.

"Tell me," she heard, though nothing was said, "Tell me anything. Please. I will listen. I will help."

But she couldn't.

How could she, when he did not, could not, and would never ever understand the turmoil she faced?

He was a truth seeker, and her, a poison maker. To vocalize her crimes would be to show all the world that she was naught but a murderer. She couldn't do that. She couldn't tell him.

After all, for those few seconds, he was all the world.

Her clouded eyes broke from his piercing gaze, and she mumbled to him, "Nothing. Nothing's wrong."

There was a pause, as the two children stared at each other wordlessly, Haibara shocked by her own meekness and Conan having caught the obvious lie before it had even left her mouth.

Rage and panic simmered as she sought to find her bearings. She had been taken by those orbs of dazzling blue and for a moment, she had shown her weakness to him. Eyes still riveted to the floor, Haibara marshaled her thoughts and, feeling Conan's eyes still focused on her, steeled herself in preparation for meeting him head on.

It was a curious sensation, to feel her neck and facial muscles harden in resolve, and all of a sudden, she found her gaze level with his again, in a contest between two equals. Her voice was once again unwavering and strong and it resonated as she said, "Alright Kudo. We talked. Are you satisfied? Now please leave me. All you are is an annoyance."

But he moved not backward, but forward, disregarding her dismissal. Appearing next to her, he placed his hands on the key board and promptly opened a new window on the computer. She heard the keys clack with unknown words appearing on the screen. Her view of the action was obscured by the fact she was looking the exact opposite direction as where her computer was, and trying to spin her chair around, she quickly found that Conan had bodily blocked her swivel chair from turning.

This touch of annoyance and feeling of strange paralysis in her swivel chair brought her emotions to a raging boil. With a sudden burst of action, she spun the chair around, and forcibly tossed Conan to the side.

"I don't know what's so complicated about this, 'all man kind's epitome'. All I want you to do is leave me alone," Haibara practically snarled, while assuming her rightful place as mistress of the computer.

Taken aback by her ferociousness, Conan, quickly scrambled a respectful distance away from the enraged tigress. He massaged his ribs before taking two more steps back, ensuring he was out of Haibara's reach.

Watching Conan look cautiously at her, she basked in her own cleverness. Between her sarcasm and the quote she was referring too, she had just insulted him doubly. And with any luck, he'd now be wary enough of her to leave her alone when she was in the lab.

However, she quickly realized she had underestimated Conan as his caution evaporated and he rolled his eyes at her.

Reciting the very quote she had referenced, Conan said, "A man so various that he seemed to be not one, but all mankind's epitome. Stiff in opinions, always in the wrong; Was everything by starts, and nothing long. But, in the course of one revolving moon - was chemist, fiddler, statesman, and buffoon. John Dryden, if I recall correctly."

He smiled wryly, the pain in his ribs having nearly disappeared. "Ha-ha. Funny Haibara."

Haibara shrugged coolly, a tad disappointed that she had not gotten her little trick past him. "I thought so too."

They stared at each other again, a battle of wills between a helping hand and an iron gate.

Pushing and prodding here and there, Conan found her resolve unbending. But there was no forcing things like these. Struck with no other recourse, boy resigned, wrinkling his nose at his defeat. "Alright. Alright. I got the message, Haibara. I'll leave you alone. But remember, if you ever need someone to talk too..."

The door clicked shut as Conan stepped out, leaving his sentence hanging and her alone.

Slowly, peace settled and the electric tension that had filled the room moments before drifted away. Haibara found herself reclining deeply into her chair, feeling completely spent.

So, in the end, she had won.

But then why did it not feel like a victory?

She shook her head and put her face in her hands.

That Conan, he had always cared about her so much. Too much. It drew her to him and it made her feel guilty - for all that she had done to him, for the mess she had involved him in, and for the fact that she couldn't seem to let him go. So she tried to shun him.

But somehow, he could always tell when something was wrong. And then... contrary to everything she tried, he'd be there for her.

And now, he had comforted her again.

Sure, he was the only one who could understand her situation, who could understand what the Black Organization meant and how it felt to be shrunk - the only one who could understand Miyano Shiho, Sherry, and Ai Haibara all at once.

But he had a life to go back to. Everyone was waiting for him, especially Ran.

And that's why she couldn't afford to get attached to him.

Looking back at the screen, she saw the web page he had pulled up. It was Shiva. Shiva the Destroyer...Shiva, the Destroyer of evil and old habits - and a symbol of the essential good of humanity.

An angel of renewal, huh?

She gave a small smile. So he had heard her quote Oppenheimer.

A small yawn leaked out of her mouth. She shook her head and turned off the monitor. Maybe it was a little late after all.

Midway out of the room, Haibara couldn't help but feel as if she had forgotten something... Looking back, she stared at the lonely glass of milk sitting on her computer desk, still pulsating with warmness.

When she finally strode out the lab, she bore a milk mustache spread above her mouth shaped like angel's wings.

Alright! As usual, please review; its all the better if you want to critique me. I'll be the first to admit that something about the way I'm writing this doesn't feel right. I haven't quite hit my stride yet, but if you have any tips or suggestions, I'll be happy to hear them! Also, my progress in writing these things can be found in my profile, so you can look there if you're ever curious.