Okay, I think this is the end...maybe. I'm toying with a few other ideas, different ways to handle the relationship, but for this one I feel like I pulled things together like I wanted and hopefully you guys will like it. Again, I would love some reviews, and many many many thanks to those that have. Videl1212, Lyralien, and KodieKix- you guys rock. Thanks to everyone that reads this.
Carmen's POV
I paced in front of Kit's. I knew that Shane was waiting, that I had told her I would be there a half an hour ago, but I was too jittery to just go in. I ignored the weird looks people were giving me, took a deep breath, and opened the door. It was packed, and I could barely move, but my eyes went straight to Shane. She was sitting at the bar, a defeated look on her face. She must have thought I was screwing with her. Not that I could blame her…I was a lot later than I had told her. She was alone, except for the occasional woman trying to pick her up. I pushed my way through to her, almost losing my nerve twice.
To be honest, I wasn't sure what I was thinking. Meeting Shane, I mean. This woman had broken my heart…and here I was, calling her and telling her I loved her. I toyed with the idea of leaving her at the bar, like she had left me at the altar, but once I got close enough to see her eyes I knew I couldn't leave. She looked at me with such relief that my heart almost broke.
"Carmen! I thought maybe you…never mind. I'm glad you're here." She stood and for a moment, looked like she wanted to hug me but wasn't sure if I would freak out. I smiled wryly and hugged her instead, taking a deep breath and inhaling the scent that was purely Shane. My head automatically went to the space between her shoulder and neck, like it always had.
"I'm sorry I'm late, Shane," I said apologetically. "I just…got caught up at home. Thanks for coming." She just nodded, her eyes studying me. She knew that I was lying. "I…look, I'm not trying to break up you and Jenny, but I just realized that I still really care about you. I feel like if we don't give this another try we're always going to regret it."
I looked at Shane, who looked like she was at a loss for words. So I continued, "I'm in a relationship, Shane. But what I have with her…it's not even close to what I had with you. I don't want to settle for second best just because it's safe."
Shane sat back down, and I did the same. "I don't…look, you're the only person in my life that I've ever really loved. I screwed that up, Carmen, I know that, but you have to know that I thought I was doing what was best for you. I honestly don't know how I've survived this long without you, I don't think I can do it any longer. I love you, Carmen. Please, give me another chance. Let me make it right. I will do anything it takes."
I was shocked to see tears in her eyes. She looked like she hadn't slept at all last night, her clothes were wrinkled, her hair was a mess. She basically looked like a big disaster. And she was. But now that the hurt from being abandoned by her was eased, I saw something I hadn't been able to see for a long time. Shane had run because she was worried that if she had married me she would end up hurting me worse. I looked closely at her as she waited for my response. Her eyes were filled with fear and sorrow and guilt.
I took her hand gently. "I know, Shane. I know you were trying to protect me. I'm not mad anymore. Let's give it another try. We'll take it slow this time."
Shane smiled. "So no sex in the back room?"
I laughed. "Not tonight, tiger. Come on, you can walk me home." I kissed her tenderly, and I could feel her tense up. "Easy, Shane. I know you're worried that I'm messing with you, but I'm not. I really do want this again." This time when I kissed her, she relaxed into my arms. As we walked down the street, our hands intertwined, I smiled. For the first time in a long time, things were right again.
The End
