Author's note: I love writing this story…it is so funny to see our favorite horror characters under one roof. I don't know if I can add more to these shenanigans.

Ash: (clears throat) I hope I will be making an appearance in this story.

Synn: Well duh, of course. (keeps fingers crossed behind back) Why wouldn't I add you?

Ash: That's right. Me and the boomstick have been in hiding long enough. Time to kick deadite ass!

Synn: (rolls eyes) Get over yourself, Ash!

Ash: Hail to the King, baby!!!

Synn: Whatever you say, ASH! (snickers evilly at the new idea forming in her head)

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters mentioned in this story, nor do I own the concept of the Surreal Life. Ashley J. Williams is owned by the ever-so-talented Bruce Campbell, his Producer friend Rob Tapert and his genius Director friend Sam Raimi.

Djinn was the first person up the next day. He decided to go and grab the Surreal Life Newspaper to see who their mystery guest for the day was.

"Blah, blah blah…" Djinn read aloud "The mystery guest is someone who will always go out with a bang and will never run out of gas. Ummm what the hell?"

Just then, Freddy appeared, and Jason walked into the room.

"Gimme that" Freddy snarled, snatching the newspaper "Who is our guest?"

"Someone who will always go out with a bang and will never run out of gas" Djinn said, glaring at Freddy "And a good morning to you too, KFC mascot reject"

"Must be Creeper." Freddy said, ignoring Djinn's verbal jab at him "That dude is always full of gas. And you will never forget that awful smell."

Jason shook his head in disagreement as Candyman walked into the family room, yawning.

"So what is the agenda for today?" Candyman demanded, leisurely stretching.

"Surprise Guest…trying to figure out who it is" Freddy replied

"Go out with a bang and never run out of gas." Djinn added, frowning

"Come again?" Candyman inquired, pursing his lips in thought.

Jason grabbed the paper from Freddy and handed it to Candyman. Djinn looked out a window and saw a yellow '73 Oldsmobile Delta Royale approaching the house.

"Oh shit." Djinn exclaimed, his eyes widening "I know who this is. Jason better hide."

"Why should maggot head hide?" Freddy demanded, arching a singed eyebrow.

"Because he's technically a zombie." Djinn replied "Guess who eliminates zombies?"

"Ash…that crazy guy from the Evil Dead movies." Candyman answered, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose "Freddy you shouldn't have insulted him last night."

"How the fuck was I to know?" Freddy yelled defensively.

The horror icons heard the car door slam. Then they heard the roar of a chainsaw.

"Jason, you better hide." Djinn said, in a cautionary tone.

Jason shook his head and stood there with an arrogant air about him. He was not afraid of Ash.

"Looks like the surprise guest is Ashley J. Williams." the host said, hiding somewhere off-camera.

Ash, with boomstick and chainsaw in hand, kicked the door down.

"Alright you screwheads" Ash exclaimed, pushing himself into the room "Where is that walking corpse?"

"Who are you calling screwhead, pipsqueak?" Freddy said, smiling and waving at Ash mockingly with his gloved hand.

"Whoa, who died and made you barbecue king?" Ash quipped, taking a long look at Freddy "And where did you get that ugly Christmas sweater?"

Djinn snickerd at Ash's quip while Freddy yelled all the swear words one could think of in such a short time.

"So you're our special guest." Candyman greeted him, trying to be the cordial host "Welcome to our haunted mansion."

"Okay, Captain Hook, where is the zombie goalie?" was all Ash said in reply, looking for Jason.

Jason stepped forward, his arms folded across his chest. Ash loaded his boomstick.

"Ash, I wouldn't do that if I were you." Djinn warned him, still snickering over Ash's insult to Freddy.

"Look, genie, I ain't Aladdin." Ash replied "Go find your lamp."

Ash then proceeded to begin shooting at Jason, who stood there, taking each bullet painlessly. Chucky entered the room to see Ash shooting Jason unsuccessfully.

"What the hell?" Ash muttered to himself, shooting again and knocking Jason's mask off. He then smirked and loaded his boomstick.

"Oooh…one look at you and I know why some animals eat their young." He quipped quickly.

Jason angrily moved forward and picked Ash up by his collar. Ash dropped his boomstick and started thrashing about.

"Now you made him mad. Never shoot off his mask. It annoys the shit out of him." Chucky bwahhed from behind.

"Put me down, ugly!" Ash screamed angrily.

Pinhead emerged in the living room.

"Well…well…well…" Pinhead drawled "what do we have here?"

"Alright! Alright! I give up! Truce! Truce!"

Jason let go of Ash and he fell to the ground.

Chucky rolled on the floor, laughing his ass off. Michael walked into the room and cocked his head at Ash. Leatherface was right behind him and was equally confused. Jason retrieved his mask and put it back on.

"I think our new visitor will be a hostage." Freddy said, smirking at the fallen man.

"WHAT??!!!" Ash yelled angrily, standing up.

"Jason, grab us some rope!" Djinn said, smirking.

Jason nodded and walked into another room, in search of rope.

"Doesn't the stop smoking campaign need their mascot?" Ash quipped angrily, flipping Freddy the middle finger of his only hand.

Freddy waved his hand and Ash's mouth glued itself shut. Jason came back in the room and handed the rope to Candyman, who tied Ash up. Leatherface saw Ash's chainsaw and ogled it.

"What shall we do with this one?" Djinn said, smirking evilly at Ash, who was struggling to open his mouth.

"Ooh, Ooh, I know!" Freddy exclaimed, jumping up and down "Let's scare the crap out of him!"

"How would we do that?" Candyman demanded, unconvinced as he folded his arms across his chest.

Leatherface grabbed the pad of paper and wrote something down. He handed it to Pinhead.

"Leatherface suggests he watch while we eat human meat."

"Sorry dude, I don't eat humans, I just kill them." Chucky said, making a disgusted face.

Leatherface nodded in understanding.

"I second that motion." Djinn said, nodding "Let's think of something else, shall we?"

"Ooh…I know! Let's make him clean up after us and cook us supper!" Chucky exclaimed, smiling

"I like that idea!" Freddy agreed, waving his claws menacingly at Ash, unaware that he broke his mouth gluing spell.

"No, I will not cook for you ugly bastards!" Ash screamed, his face turning red "I won't clean up your messes! You can all kiss my boomstick!"

"The mouth on this one!" Candyman said, appalled as he held his hook up to Ash's face.

"Sorry, Captain Hook" Ash quipped quickly "I ain't Peter Pan. Let me go!"

"Hey, loudmouth!" Djinn said quickly, with a very conniving move "Care to make a wish?"

"Yeah!" he exclaimed hopefully "I wish you'd untie me!"

Djinn waved his arms and the ropes fell off of Ash, who smiled gratefully at him.

"Thanks, bub. I owe you one."

"Oh yes…you do owe me something." Djinn agreed, smirking evilly "Since you made a wish, you gave me your soul."

"Oh no!" Ash groaned, slapping his forehead "I knew there had to be a catch or somethin'!"

"That's right…" Djinn said, receiving several high fives from the guys in the room "you have to do what I say or I will kill you."

"Yes master!" Ash said grudgingly

Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews, people! I didn't think this idea would have such a great reception! I promise to keep updating this story as soon as I can! Bear with me! I am also open to ideas if you would like to share them with me. Please don't be shy! You will get credit for the ideas you suggest! They can be as wacky or as off-the-wall as you like!

For those who haven't watched the Surreal Life, it's a reality show where they put B-list or has been celebrities under one roof. They do things like charity events, one season, they went bowling with mentally challenged individuals. Another season, they went horseback riding…now you get the idea.

Synn: I am queen of the horror world! (snickers at Ash stumbling into a trap cleverly set by Djinn )Women are just plain smarter, Ash. And this female author just outsmarted the great Ashley J. Williams!

Ash: I always knew you broads were trouble!

Djinn: Quiet Ash, or I'll make Freddy turn you into a woman! (smiles murderously at Ash)

Ash: Yes master (glares death holes at Synn who whistles innocently)